Chapter song: Valerie by The Weeknd

(Justin's pov)

-1:05pm-

I forcefully push Jayde against the wall, gaining control of the situation.

"Let's make this quick."

I rip her black bra off and instantly start grasping her perfect breasts, feeling her desperate breaths hit against my neck. My fingers play with her nipples, making her moan; then I plant my mouth on her, tasting anything I can. Damn, I miss her body, her amazing rack.

"Fuck me Justin."

Jayde whimpers and raises her hands up. Dammit. Don't do it. Don't you dare—Fuck. I open a condom, fit it on, tug her panties aside, and shove myself in her. We both moan but she moans louder, so I clamp my hand over her mouth. I push her on the dressing room chair and start pounding her, making the room creak a little. I allow her to touch me, no scratching this time. My hand remains over her mouth, keeping her quiet as I fuck her homesick pussy. My mouth stays at her rack, sucking and biting at her skin.

"Mm-mmmmmm!"

She moans louder against my hand, signaling her orgasm. I'm close as well.

"Go."

I hit her harder, making her squirm in my arms and breathe deeper as I release. As she calms down, I decrease speed and take myself out of her.

"Thank you."

Her breaths are uneven as she gives me a satisfied smirk.

"Not a word about this."

Redressing myself, I point a stern yet desperate finger to her, and she nods, still out of breath.

Quickly, I fix my hair, smooth out my clothes, and steady my breathing. No scratches. Check. No sign of sex. Check. I've got the flannel. Check. Play it cool.

"Did it work?"

Val innocently comes up to me, natural and beautiful.

"Nah. It's not my thing."

Setting the flannel on the clothing rack, I hold Val close. That only makes me feel worse. Damn, what've I done. I've fucked up again. Why did I do that? I should've said no. It wasn't that difficult. Fuck.

"Why are you holding me so tight, babe?"

Val can't find out. She almost left me last time. I can't let her go.

"I love you."

My words aren't untrue. I mean, I do love her to death. So why do I keep fucking other people? What's wrong with me?

"I love you too."

Val smiles and kisses my cheek. Ouch. This hurts. I feel so terrible.

No. I feel perfectly fine. It was an accident. I won't let it happen again. Everybody slips sometimes, right? People make mistakes. I'm still a good person. I'm a good person.

"Can we go to Victoria's Secret?"

Once again, Val breaks my thoughts.

"Of course, baby."

My hands on her body are unsure if I'm allowed to touch her at all. A mere 10 minutes ago, I had my dick inside Jayde, and here I am, thinking I have the nerve to touch Val. I don't, so I take my hands off her flawless body.

We arrive at Victoria's Secret, and Val starts looking.

There are so many girls in here, girls with nice bodies. My pants are baggy, but I feel like my hard-on is showing. What's wrong with me? Focus on Val. Focus only on Val. She's the one I love.

"Justin, are you ok?"

Val touches my arm, and I flinch and swallow hard.

"Y-yea, I'm just gonna wait outside. Take your time babe."

I'm freaking out with guilt. I'm so wrong to want anyone else besides Val. Why can't I keep this thing in my pants?

I sit on the floor in front of the store. Ugh. I have a need to apologize to Val, but if I do, she'll find out I messed up again. I can't look in her eyes. She's taking our relationship serious, and I'm not ready. I can't just stop living like this. I've spent my life craving pussy like oxygen. I can't give it up.

"There you are. Baby, is everything ok?"

Val approaches me in concern, sitting beside me.

"Yea. Did you find something?"

I notice a bag in her hands.

"Don't change the subject. Are you ok?"

She puts her hand on my cheek and looks in my eyes. That's when I pull her close and mentally ask her to forgive me. Of course, I know she won't. She doesn't even know.

"I really love you, Val."

My lips press against her neck as I whisper.

"I love you too."

She allows me to hold her, but I know she hates my guts. It's best if I keep my mouth shut about what happened between me and Jayde.

-7pm-

It's dinner time, and I'm still feeling like shit. Val's so perfect, and I cheated on her, twice. I would've done it three times if I hadn't escaped Victoria's Secret in time.

"I'm in the mood for peanut butter and jelly. Omigod."

Val holds her stomach and rolls her eyes dreamily.

"It's your period, baby. Let's go to Panera Bread. They have what you want."

Taking her hand, I lead her to Panera, which is on the upper level.

When we arrive, I hand Val a menu and look for myself. Val's obviously getting the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I'm going for the turkey sandwich.

"You can order first, baby."

Squeezing her hand, I motion Val to go first. She orders; then I order and pay for our meals. We get our drinks then sit at a booth.

"Thanks."

She smiles while sipping from her water.

"No problem. Did you like the mall?"

I mess with my fingers and glance at her beauty.

"Yea, it's the best one I've ever been to."

She nods and keeps smiling at me. She's so beautiful.

"So what'd you do here in L.A, like, before you met me?"

She keeps the conversation going, her eyes glittering with curiosity.

"Well, I did some photo shoots, went partying. Basically, I did the same thing I did when I was in Las Vegas."

I answer as honest as possible, excluding the fact that I fucked tons of girls.

"Where else have you been?"

Her expression is interested, but I know she knows the other half of my answer.

Our food arrives before I can answer her question.

"Thank you."

I tell the server while our food is placed on the table.

"Anyways, I've been to Miami, New York City, obviously Canada, England, and China."

I feel a bit like a show off, but she asked the question.

"Wow, that's a lot. You're so lucky."

Val manages to tell me without sounding jealous.

"I can take you with me one day."

That is, if she doesn't find out about my lies and leave me.

"That'd be amazing. I'd like to go to New York."

She speaks in amazement and wonder.

"You'd love it."

I wink at her as we finish our food, making her blush. Damn, I love that.

"Let's stop for cookies before we go back."

I tug her to a cookie shop, where there's a variety of cookies to choose from.

"Ohh yes. Can I have peanut butter?"

Her fingers against the glass, she gazes directly at the cookies.

"Of course babe."

I walk up to the counter and order two peanut butter cookies and two sugar cookies. Once I pay, I give Val her cookie and take one of mine.

"This is heaven. Thanks cupcake."

She enjoys her cookie as we hop into my car.

"Anytime love."

I love it when she calls me cupcake. It feels like she wants me. That would mean the world me. However, I know I fucked that all up for us. For real, I need to stop. Sex shouldn't be what I look for in a relationship. But it's a sustenance in my life, so I kind of need it.

(A/N: Sorry for the late post. I'm tired af and it's Christmas break. Next post is on Thursday)

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