"contemplate the look on his face", i grin, pointing at some random guy on the right side.

"yeah he looks dull.", karl's voice sounded a little distant before he went silent again.

we were watching some random show on the television in karl's living room, both not focussed. there was some tension in the room but neither made the first step, we just stared at the big screen in silence. it wasn't an awkward one but not exactly comfortable either.

i sometimes wished that i could look into his mind and see or hear what he thought. that'd make everything so much easier.

i was on my phone texting liv from time to time as his gaze swiveled over to me.

he took my phone and threw it onto the table carefully, before he pinned his eyes to mine. i sensed that the tension from both of our sides was growing bigger.

"hi, beautiful", the smile on his big lips grew wide as he leaned down to connect our lips lovingly, placing his hands on the left and right from my head.

the kiss started out soft, resorting in us only moving our lips against the other's in caution. but that changed pretty fast as he bit my lower lip, careful not to hurt me, causing me to open my mouth and let his tongue slide into mine as he got more intimate.

my hands were wandering to his back, gripping onto the fabric of his black shirt tightly and i could feel the heat rise in my body, making my cheeks glow a soft pink. i felt my pulse intensively.

his lips let go of mine as his head moved back a little, my lips still parted when he looked down at me, eyes lighting up in desire. "you look so hot right now." he said, biting his own lower lip in lust as he leaned in closer again, his cold lips meeting the hot skin on my left collarbone that is revealed due to his hand pulling away the fabric.

i let him take control completely, focussing on his touch as his lips wandered over my skin, placing kisses everywhere he could without having to take my shirt off.

he let go again, laying down next to me on the side of his body, my hands still under his shirt, crawling over his back softly. "was that too much?", his eyes looked into mine with an apologetic smile. "i would've stopped you if you went too far, don't worry.", i smile back at him, my head disappearing in the side of his neck as i moved closer to him.

i was pretty sure that he was the one for me from the beginning. it was just that everything fitted together perfectly and felt right, no matter how slow we took it.

we went a little further from time to time, still having our distances and boundaries though.

i had the slightest bit of attachment issues because of my ex girlfriend. she was not treating me right at all but i stayed with her nonetheless. she lied, cheated and manipulated me so bad and it was the worst phase i've had to go through so i had to make sure that the person i'd choose to be with next was different. i couldn't go through that ever again and i wish that to no one, no matter how much i dislike them.

i really wanted to be careful this time.

i didn't want a relationship anymore until i met karl.

i swore it off forever. i still wasn't sure that i wanted one again but i knew that if i went to share my whole mind, body and life with someone, it'd be him after all. he made me happy and he would never do such things, not even in my worst nightmares. also, i've fallen way too hard.