2:31 AM

hi

can i talk to you guys about something?

jesus christ aspyn, you scared me

it's 1:30 in the morning

your messages go thru silent mode

and i thought something happened

oh, i'm sorry!

don't be, it's fine :)

what's up?

i don't need to book a flight

to michigan, do i?

or even, change ur flight a day earlier?

no no, it's all good

well, as good as it could be i guess

i wanted to talk to you guys about

like... my feelings

oh

i felt like we would have this conversation soon

did george do something? *cracks knuckles*

no, i just

look, i don't usually like talking

about my feelings at all

but.. i think it's different

i see

go on, asp

we're listening

don't feel forced though

you don't have to tell us everything

you're feeling unless you're

fully comfortable with that

thanks :)

i really do appreciate you guys

it's hard to explain, but i'll try my best

i feel butterflies in my chest.

and that alone scares me, because

i've never felt something like that before.

we've gotten closer these past few days

and even though i barely know him,

i want to know him. and i want him to know me.

he's like a treasure, and it's so obvious

to everyone. all of twitter literally loves him, and

i don't blame them.

when i was with joshua, i felt good. he was a

good boyfriend, and i'm glad i got to spend

that time with him. but maybe it's just because

i lacked that company, that's why i craved it so

badly. you know how my parents are, emotions other

than anger and angst were barely present in our

household. i liked joshua because he liked me, he

gave me the attention i didn't grow up with.

i learned from you guys that i had something

missing in my childhood. god, i even had trouble

saying i love you until i met you. i can hardly say

it to my siblings because there was no affection

from our parents so now it feels awkward, but you

guys make it so easy to love. and i have no clue

what love feels like, or even what it is, but i

feel like i could learn. i want to learn.

being straightforward with my feelings isn't

easy and i don't always like to open up, out

of fear. my mom used to go through my

things to use as blackmail, so most of my

life remained private from everyone. i'm not

even as close with jaslene as i used to be

because of that. my mom was the root of a

lot of the issues i face now.

i get scared of judgement, of people betraying

me or using me. i get scared because i spent

all my life being ridiculed by my own mother,

yet i still craved her approval. i wanted her

to be proud of me, as dumb as it sounds. but

i want to make my own choices. choices to

make myself happy, instead of to get the

approval i desired even after moving out. but

i know i'll never get it.

it scares the absolute fuck out of me,

but i think i could like george.

holy shit

aspyn nicole dela cruz i am so

fucking proud of you.

you're not... mad?

mad?

MAD?

aspyn, honey, we are genuinely

so proud. you've just spoke about

your feelings— something

that you've had trouble doing for

years! how could we ever be mad?

i dunno....

i guess i was just scared

this is a very good step for you,

speaking about your feelings

it's really good, and we're really proud

don't worry about what we think

we trust george, and you

and if you like him enough to date him,

go for it!

and if not, that's okay too! you

don't have to date everyone you

like anyways

yeah you would know a lot

about that, huh karl 😙

READ THE ROOM MAN

NOT THE TIME 😪

LOL JDNAISNS

i love you guys so much

i love you more asp

love u so so much

KARLMIESTER started a FaceTime call (3:01 AM)

Liked by and others

Comments are disabled for this post