Nazanin Abbas.

I click on yet another YouTube video, trying to understand how this third formula is derived. There were so many videos here that it's difficult to choose which one can explain better.

Ugh, this is so irritating! I don't understand shit. I take a breath, focusing on my goal again.

Man bana lo Nazanin, agar ab nai padhai ki to is baar accha score lana namumkin hai. At least us Zara se to behtar hona chahiye. Imagine Dani's wide smile when he will see your result. There's the spirit. Go now."

I resume the video focussing entirely on the explanation when my door makes a creaking noise, and a furious Dani barges in. I quickly exit the YouTube, scrambling up from my chair. His panic filled gaze rakes my figure for a while, then he pulls a long face shaking his head at me in disappointment.

"Niny! What was this? I had no idea about your whereabouts for a full four hours. Do you think this is a joke? I went bonkers imagining every single dreadful possibility you could have landed yourself in. Do you ever think before acting impulsively? ", he bellows in a fit of rage.

A tremor of fear courses through me for a second, I have never seen my calm Dani in so much rage. But then a round of laughter echoes in my ears, him and her. Right then, my anger bounces back

"Oh yeah? So the mighty Danish Mustafa is angry because I failed to report my location to him? What are you, my boss? I am a free ass girl. I can choose to be wherever I want to be without intimating anybody. I do, though apologize for the inconvenience that befell upon your lovely college time. "

His features contort into a mixture of frustration and confusion, as he steps forward to cup my face. He angles my chin so my steel grey eyes clash with his. He keeps gazing in my eyes, searching for the cause of my recklessness. I do not fail to recognize the spike in my heartbeat and the increased blood flow in my veins, courtesy of his proximity. Was it always the case? Or these bodily changes are occurring just about now? If so, what changed?

He pecks my forehead, going back to staring in my eyes.

"Nazanin Abbas, tum meri zimmedari ho. Tumhari har khwaish puri karna mera dharm. So tell me, what's wrong?", he hushed aligning his forehead with mine.

Zimmedari.

Zimmedari.

Zimmedari.

Where is the peace that engulfs me when he cocoons me in his hold? The same uneasiness hits me once again, only with a much bigger impact this time. He always says this, that I am his responsibility.

Then why on frigging earth does that sentence prick my heart? It feels like I have been forced on him. Does that mean had uncle Walid not asked him to look after me, he wouldn't be as close to me? How could that be? I've never imagined a day without Dani.

I open my eyes placing my hands on his chest and pushing him back. He staggers in shock, his mouth open in astonishment.

"I know I have been imposed on you. I now also understand the fact that you have a life of your own. That is why I have decided you won't do anything for me as part of your responsibility here after. Mai tumhe har zimmedari se azad karti hun, Danish", with that I rush into the washroom.

Next day.

I groan in annoyance, the continuous blaring of my alarm not doing any good to reduce my splitting headache. Well, needless to say I couldn't sleep without Dani. He always leaves my room when I have fallen asleep in his arms, but yesterday he didn't even come. Honestly, that was surprising. I didn't expect Dani to not come, this was first time in years and it just added to my already piled up frustration. Even when we had more intense fights than the one yesterday, he never failed to fulfil his routine. He never forgot to take care of me, then what happened to him?

Fine. Even I don't need his presence to fall asleep, not like I am dying to hear him laughing because of me, or to witness his dimples to pop while he grins because of me. He can laugh with all the other girls of college for all I care.

I groan as my head hits the corner of the door, ugh! I can't even walk properly. This headache, and above that I can't walk straight. What a disaster of a day this is turning out to be!

I stumble again near the sink, finally opening my eyes only for them to land on the packed bottles of men's perfume placed on the shelf. I had ordered Tobacco Oud by Tom Ford for him last week, he oh s crazy about colognes and has a mind blowing collection of them in his closet, a separate section for them obviously.

The only place he doesn't rummage in my room is the bathroom, that's why I had hidden them here the moment they arrived, I also had a foolproof planning of taking him by surprise with it but with the way things turned out I totally forgot about it. I will give it to him once our fight resolves.

I quickly take a shower putting on my uniform, then head back into the room, the tray filled with my favourite breakfast placed on my study table which wasn't here before catches my attention and I quickly skip towards it, a smile forming on my face unknowingly, knowing it was Dani who placed it here.

Dekha. Bekaar mein tension le rahi thi main, Dani kabhi mere bina nai reh sakta hai. Khud hi apology ke taur par breakfast rak kar gaya hai and I bet isse banaya bhi usi ne hoga.

I stuff the food in my mouth, eating every bit of the tasty pancakes. With my bag in hand, I walk down the stairs to see mom sitting on the table with her breakfast.

"Good morning Mama! How are you this bright morning?", I grin kissing her cheeks. She just nods, muttering a quick morning.

"Mama, Dani kahan hai? Hame college bhi jana hai?", I ask popping a cherry in my mouth.

"Wo to aadhe ghante pehle hi office gaya hai didi ke saath. Uski presentation hai aaj, aur didi ko kaam tha to unhe raste mein drop kiya," she says surprised that I don't know about this sudden change of plans. Dani mujhe bataye bagair kahin nai jata.

"Kyun? Tumhe nai bataya usne? Jhagda hua hai kya tum dono ka? Lekin maine aaj jab usse pucha to wo to bol raha tha ki aisa kuch nai hai, kyunki usne aaj tumhara breakfast bhi nai banaya. Pura sanki hai ye ladka, khud bhi breakfast karne se mana kar ke gaya jab ki maine kaha ki jaldi kuch bana deti hun." She muttered in her disappointed mother tone.

I frown at her words, gripping the straps of my bag tighter. He fled? And didn't even tell me about it. Then it is obvious he didn't keep my breakfast on the table today. The headache returns full force while I try to play nonchalant about the whole scenario before my mother and she surprisingly doesn't question my lack of input on her questions.

I move towards the parking lot with the car keys, not able to process the pace with which things are going downhill.

Aur pagal ne khana bhi nai khaya, sai bol rahi thi Mama. Sanki hai pura. Ugh! Daniiiii.