Mahira Khan.

My breathing hitches the moment he entered the room, I can feel the air around me shift. When I look at the wall clock, my brows furrow in confusion because he returned very late today. He as usual comes out of the washroom after a precise twenty minutes, in a black t-shirt and blue joggers fitting his frame to perfection. I almost forgot all of the day's worries just by looking at him.

I quickly avert my eyes back to the book in my hand which I was obviously not reading. He throws his towel on the couch and begins taking steps in my direction.

I look up startled when he snatches the book from my hand and before I can process more, he is already getting comfortable on the bed laying down in my lap. My insides quiver in anticipation of what's next.

"When did you learn to read a book upside down?"

"I what? " I could only gasp in surprise and squirm in embarrassment.

"Yeah. You were reading it upside down just now. Or wait, were you even reading it? " His fingers take hold of the locks that were falling on my face and begin twisting them.

Breathe Mahira. Not the end of the world. Where did he learn to leave people breathless?

Gosh! I have it bad. I can't believe I fell for this man.

I inhale his sandalwood one last time before pushing him away from my lap and my life. I get up from the bed, controlling the dam of tears ready to break open. "What are you doing Mohsin? This is not a real marriage, remember? "

I feel him getting up behind me as he stands close, his hand goes around my stomach from behind which closes the remaining distance between us.

Why does he have to be touchy now of all times? It is already difficult for me to control myself as it is.

"Not real? Kyun? Kya galat aayatein padhi thi Kazi ne? Yaa tumhari razamandi nahin thi? " He fucking whispered this seductively in my ears, his lips touching my earlobe.

Thi. Razamandi thi. Ye Nikaah bhi sacha hai aur hamara rishta bhi. Tum har maine mein shohar ho mere.

" Nai. I never accepted this union. I never will. You were just a sloppy second. I only ever loved Amir and that's the real truth." I whisper back, only my voice had a defeated end to it as tears trickle down my eyes.

His hold tightens more as I utter those malicious words to the extent that it began hurting. I am sure his fingers have left a mark by now. Yet I don't even feel the physical pain. I can feel him gritting his teeth at the mention of Amir.

"What had I told you about taking his name? You never listen, do you? " The coldness in his voice stabs my heart more than anything, it is horryfingly similar to how he spoke when we first met at my house before the reception.

He withdraws his hand from my stomach, turning me around and for the first time I don't find his eyes empty. There is pain, agonizing pain.

"Why are you doing this? If it is about yesterday, then I didn't know how to answer your question okay! The change did not happen overnight. I had always accepted this Nikaah, taken you for my wife and included you in my prayers as my shareek-e-hayat. I was waiting, for you to let go of this revenge plan. So you could turn a new leaf and we could start over." His words are a balm to my aching heart.

He prayed for me. He accepted me the very first day. I love you Mohsin, there is no other way to describe the fluttering of my heart at your confession. But it is too late now. And I can't blame anyone but my cursed self for this downfall.

Phupi was right, I don't deserve you.

Flashback, Afternoon.

"So you mean to say you basically tricked my son for the Valima so you could use him as part of your revenge? Do you even realise what you are spitting? This is my son we are talking about, if you did not wish to be his wife, how could you be so foolish to let the rukhsati happen? Is he an object that you would play with him anytime you want and then discard him? I can't believe this. ", phupi shouts at me. I have never seen her this angry. She is flailing her arms back and forth as she throws questions at me, with hurt and accusation clear in her tone.

I anticipated a similar reaction from her, I knew what I was getting into when I decided to come clean before her but now that it has actually happened, I am petrified of the consequences and scared I would have to lose Mohsin in the process. The thought sends chills down my spine, blocking every other sensation.

"Phupi, please listen to me. I didn't mean to offend you or Mohsin for that matter. I..... "

"I what? You did not mean to offend us? Do you even know what you are speaking? You used my son according to your needs and you didn't offend him? He was the only man that chose to save your honour three years down the lane and what did you give him back? The humiliation of being your toy. This is insane. Just don't show me your face again. Get lost! " she is panting heavily, I was an idiot to have not realized the extent of damage I was causing this relationship in my hunger for revenge.

She is right though. I do not deserve Mohsin. Not after what I did to him. And he never even complained, he took all of it silently for three years and when he finally asked for separation, I shamelessly persuaded him for the reception.

I am a cheap, selfish bitch. There is no future that I oh so proudly dreamt of with Mohsin. Phupi made sure of that.

Still, I tried one last time failing terribly to convince phupi. As she was walking off the living room, where I had disclosed my previous intentions behind this marriage, I run behind her, grabbing her arm, "Phupi! Please forgive me. I was stupid. I was not in the right state of mind. I know my mistake is irredeemable but please find it in your heart to forgive me. "

But all she does is jerk her hand out of mine and turns back towards me instead of marching off like I had expected. She folds her hands across her chest, looking at me with empty eyes and no emotions.

"Fine. I will forgive you. But you have no place as my son's wife anymore. He told me repeatedly he wanted to end this with you, but me being an emotional fool thought you were the right match for him. I now realise that was the biggest mistake of my life, I won't think emotionally anymore. Now that you have achieved your goal, that your lover boy is in jail, leave my son alone. Divorce him. "

There was not a single line of crease on her forehead as she so easily spoke those words, I can't hear anything. She did not just say what I think she did. This is a nightmare.

My knees give out as I fall on the floor right before her feet. My head is unconsciously shaking back and forth, unable to comprehend the situation. "Phupi. Please. Please, anything but that. I know I made a terrible mistake and I also know I said I would bear you punishment "

Phupi shakes her head incredulously, looking at me with pity, "My son, Mahira Altaf Khan, is worth more than being a plaything. I am not enjoying this, your state and my demands. This is not me being revengeful also. This is just me being a mother. I am protecting my son.

What if, one fine day you get up from bed and realise you were just using him for another revenge of yours. What will my son do then? I can not let him fall prey to anymore of your games. You have two options, either you leave him or you force him to leave you. He deserves a woman that will purely love him and only him. Not one with so much baggage."

This time she has me convinced, she is one strong woman when she has decided something and was generous enough to pass the traits to her son. I wipe my tears, standing on my feet as I nod at her.

"Your wish is my command, mother in law. " With that I head towards my room, I have some packing to do.

But the moment I reach my bed, packing is the last thing I did. I breakdown in sobs, uncontrollable sobs.

"

His words rush to my mind, and more sobs break out of me. You were right Mohsin. I was blinded by revenge. I lost myself in the process and when I came back to my senses, I am about to lose you. This is the part I abhor. How can I let go of the one man I have truly come to love? With Amir, it was a hoax. I know that because I never felt the excruciating stab in my heart when he left me on the day of our wedding that I am feeling now.

One reaps what one sows. I am reaping my own seeds of revenge.

Flashback ends.

"Stop being foolish Mohsin. I never took you for my husband. You were a kid when we got married and I was a fool to think you might have grown up. You are still a kid."