After Aly left, I freshened up in the bathroom and went into the kitchen to check for dinner preparations. I know what I said was extremely insensitive. It was too selfish of me to speak about someone that is no more alive in that sense. But I don't know how not to think about it. I am supposed to be okay, she was his past. I can't help but feel possessive over Aly, but she was his past damn it. It has nothing to do with you. It was me who decided to choose my career over Aly, so I lost him.

Why is it paining so much to know he has been just that intimate with another woman? Images of what they might look like together flash before me, my hands shake in rage. What is happening to me? Why am i thinking all of this?

Aly has always been my best friend inspite of people saying otherwise. People always told us we would end up together but we had promised each other we would not get romantically involved because it had the potential to break our friendship.

He was my better half, my partner in crime and the reason for most of my happy moments. Always, but things had been platonic between us. Then why now an I feeling like killing any girl that might want him romantically. Even the thought of him liking someone is burning.

Perhaps, because of the Nikaah. It does after all have the power to change minds, move hearts and shake a person's sanity.

When did I go from hating Aly's childishness to loving his forehead kisses, from loathing his tardiness to adoring his fatherhood, from shoving him away to needing his touch, from setting him up with girls to hating a feminine presence around him. When? When did I transition from his best friend to his wife. That wife who just wants her husband to think of her, that wife who can't stay without her husband's bear hugs.

It feels good, being a wife and a mother is a feeling indescribable in words. It makes you feel complete, as if you have found the missing piece of yourself.

Now I know what people meant when they said love is chaotic. It is confusing, you want to pull your man so close to you, he shouldn't be able to let you go ever. But you also want to beat his ass up for thinking of another woman. You want to kiss the daylights out of him at the same time you want to kill him for forgetting something. It's all a chaos. But amid this chaos, one thing is crystal clear. The fact that I have fallen in love with Aman Aly Haider. The same man who saw me in diapers, the same man who got me creams to hide my pimples in teenage, the same man who pampered me when I had menstrual cramps and the very same man who loves his first wife, so much he could throw a fit if someone speaks ill of her.

But it's all a part of him, I have to accept him with his past if I love him. Moreover, it was my mistake. I shouldn't have left behind my family and my Aly two years ago for my career. My career was important, but maybe there could be a different way. Maybe, I didn't really have to leave.

I am thankful to Allah, he gave me another chance to have Aly and Faizu to myself. They are mine, and I will protect them with my everything.

"Ammu, khana lagwado table pe. Aur tungsten friends ko bhi bulalo dinner keep liye."

"Khana lagwa diya hai Mamijaan. Mamu ko kahiye aajayen tab tak main un dono ko bulati hun." I walk towards the guest rooms. I knock Pari's door.

"Pari chal dinner ready hai. Aur Imtiyaz ko bhi bolde." I rush towards my bedroom, I have to wake Faizu otherwise he will not sleep at night.

By the time I am there, I see both my men are having a gala time in the bed. Phew, atleast he is awake.

"Khana lag gaya hai." I speak and walk out as quickly as I can.

On the dining table I introduce Imtiyaz to Aly who was not his usual cheerful self, maybe because of the argument. Imtiyaz isn't seem to mind his vague behaviour, it was mostly me, Pari and Imtiyaz talking about when to start working and he briefed me about Mr.Sethi's demands.

After dinner, the three of us decided to drink coffee on the terrace so Mamijaan was kind enough to make coffee for us. Aly had gone back to the room after dinner with Faizu in his arms. If my baby isn't asleep yet, then I will take him upstairs with me. With that in mind, I went towards our room buy stopped when I heard Aly speaking.

"Kaisi hai na tumhari Mama. Friends kya mil gaye, humein to bhool hi gayi. Mujhe to ye bhi nai pucha ki maine khana theek se khaya ya nai, roz to khud mujhe serve karti thi. Rang badlu chipkali. Humph. Ham bhi nai baat karenge unse, okay Faizu? Pinky promise." I peek in to see Aly is holding Faizu's pinky finger in his own, I can even see his pout. Gosh, do do bachche diye hain aapne mujhe. Khud bhi bachcha hai, pata nai aur cheh bachche kaise sambhalega.

I purposely push the door open loudly, both of them turn to look at me with widened eyes. Aly quickly looks away.

"Baby, main upar terrace pe ja rahi hun. Aap aaoge Mama ke saath?" I make grabby hands at him and he tried to come to me, but Aly won't let him. He looks at him with a deceived expression. All that was left was for him to say

"Et too Brutus!" (You too, Brutus)

"Mera beta kahin nahin jaaraha. Wo apne Papa ke saath soyega." Aly says with a stoic face walking to the bed.

I frown at him, "Wo mera bhi beta hai. Aur mujhe use lejana hai. Do idhar." I try to take him but he won't let me.

"Aly teri problem kya hai?"

"Tu hai meri problem. Tere friends ke saath jakar enjoy kar. Faizu disturb karega tumlogon ko."

"Faaltu batein mat kar. Wo koi disturb nahin karega. Mujhe lejane de apne bete ko." I hold my ground. And he instantly moved away from me.

"Leja, tu kab meri sunti hai. Meri to koi value hi nai hai teri life mein. Aakhir main hun koun tera?" He slams the door of the washroom.

I sigh placing Faizu in his Cot.

"Baby, mama do minute mein wapis aayi unko bolkar ki kal discussion karte hain."

By the time I am back, both father and son are sleeping, with Faizu on top of Aly's chest. But his eyes are open. He wouldn't sleep easily now, he has slept for a long time.

"I have to feed him, will you let me do that now your highness?" I question him sarcastically. He opens his eyes, turning to me and Faizu crawls towards me. I kiss his forehead and begin feeding him. Aly turns his back on us, looks like he is still angry at me.

After he is full, I place him in his cradle moving it to and fro, he falls asleep in a few minutes.

I then turn towards my naraaz husband. Whoa, I like the sound of that. I hug him from behind, his body stiffens. He removes my hands from his frame scooting away from me, his back still facing me.

Ugh, Aly ke bachche. I kiss his neck and shoulder junction and he shudders. Good. "Sorry. Mujhe Saniya ke baare mein bakwaas nai karni chahiye thi." I whisper in his right ear, he still didn't respond.

Okay then, I take his earlobe in my teeth biting it lightly. He hisses lowly, I run my tongue on the lobe nibbling on it. My fingers trace his scapula under his t shirt. "Sorry " I whisper again. But he still won't budge.

That's it. I get up, turning his body around. Once he falls flat on the bed, I climb on top of him, pulling his hair slightly. He looks up at me, his breathing is ragged.

"Bola na sorry. I was jealous, tum jaante ho main tumhe kisike saath share nai karsakti." I sit on his abdomen or so I thought until I heard him groan. My eyes widened when I felt something poking my ass. I instantly get from him when I realize what just happened.

"Stop seducing me into forgiving you. I want nothing to do with you. Just leave me alone."

He cussed under his breath, then got up from the bed. All that was left was fresh tears in my eyes and a broken heart in hand.