"Faizu, beta bus ye thodi si dawai peelo phir nai sataungi. Mera strong beta. Thodi si. Bas kuch drops. Haan, hogaya. Hogaya. Ab Mera beta rest karega. Abhi nindu aayegi." I pat him on his back, laying him on my shoulder. He dosed off faster than he does on most days meaning the medication is working on him. Thank God his fever came down today after giving the syrup.

I cover the crib with a net so the mosquitoes are filtered out. I didn't leave the room ever since I came back yesterday from Saniya's. Speaking of which, maybe I acted too fast and irrational yesterday. I can't really understand the pain or losing a spouse. I was just thinking like a mother. I should have given him his own time to come out of the bubble of pain.

My reverie is broken when the door to our room is pushed open. I frown when I see Aman locking the door and walking towards me. Is he still in the same mood as he was yesterday? Hope not. I flinch slightly when he sits beside me. I attempt to get up fast lest he again say I am trying to touch him, but I am startled when he holds my wrist pulling me before him.

"Aly. Kuch chahiye?" I ask trying to gauge his expression. I can't make out what he is feeling right now, before I can ask him what's wrong his fingers are working their way up my waist and for some reason it leaves goosebumps on my skin. He pulls me closer positioning me between his legs as he continues to feel my skin.

Who is he and what has he done to my Aly? I am paralysed to say the least. Out of all the scenarios I pictured last night about how to handle the situation when he comes before me, this was the last thing I expected.

I gasp when he pulls my body on his lap, my legs automatically going on his sides. I had to hold his shoulders for support otherwise I would completely fall on him. "Alyyy" I begin with a questioning tone but it ends up in a moan when he sucks my sweet spot. Shit. What's happening to me? Why is my body trembling in his hold like its the first time. I can feel sparks shooting up my spine as his fingers caress my abdomen.

When he hears my moan, his fingers work faster on my Kurti ripping off the buttons that were present on it's front. I feel like I have entered a different world, filled with pleasure. So much pleasure that its unbearable. All I can do is sit paralysed feeling the euphoria his touch is brings to me. It's a feeling out of the world, something I have never experienced before.

I arch my back instinctively as his lips spread magic on my throat and neck, leaving me breathless, blushing and moaning. A gasp and a growl resonates in the room, the former from my throat at the shock of my ripped bra exposing my most private part to his eyes and the latter from him as he lays eyes on my chest. He eyes it like a piece of meat and I can clearly see the lust clouding his eyes.

Fuck. What is happening? How did things escalate to this level? Damn it. We need to stop before there is permanent damage.

"Aman. What is happening? You need to st-..... Aahh. Alyyyy" I can't stop moaning as his lips meet my hardened bud. He sucks and bites in equal measures creating waves of pleasure that can rock my world. He squeezes the other breast, with his fingers working expertly flicking and pinching my bud.

I have lost control of my voluntary movements as my hands go around his neck tightening my hold on him. My fingers on their own accord scratch his back as the pleasure becomes unbearable at times.

He continues to suck and bite my skin around the areola making sure no part is left untouched. I scream in delight as a buzzing feeling fills the pit of my stomach when he holds both my breasts and squeezes them simultaneously sucking the nipples. They have turned a dark shade of brown by now, and I feel something wet coming out of them.

Is it milk? His tongue comes out taking in all the milk and running in circles around the bud. He eats my breasts hungrily leaving bites and hickeys all around. His hands gliding dangerously close to my pubic region, I can all but stare at his face as his tongue works magic on my skin after every bite.

His mouth comes at my throat again, kissing and biting the curve exposed due to my raised head. My eyes are closed all the while his fingers run along my sides. He dives at my buds again, kissing and taking them in his hot mouth. As he sucks, I can feel the milk rushing in small amounts. That is the maximum amount to be secreted in the last week that I used the pump.

So natural stimulation does work. Wait. What? Is that why he is doing this? Shit shit shit.

I remove my hands from around him, pulling away from his hold. When he doesn't mind my protest continuing to kiss me, I lose it. I pull away harshly wearing my kurti as fast as my fingers allow.

"Aman stop! What is this madness?" I question out in embarrassment.

He looks at me, his eyes taking me in.

"Isn't this what you wanted. Now enjoy!" I have never seen this venomous side of him, perhaps that's the reason for my shocked form.

"Dr.Riyana asked me to meet her in her cabin. She even told me you have been taking medication for induced lactation. I don't know what you are trying to prove here but just for the record, me and my son don't need your favours. If you wanted to experience my touch, you should have directly said so. You didn't have to involve some doctor into it." He spats on my face and walks away.

He looked like a monster out for his hunt. He had a dangerous glint in his eyes, a sob breaks out of me when I realize how wrongly he perceived all this situation.

"And yes, for the sake of formality. You have my permission to breastfeed Faiz."

How did things go from bad to worse. I run into the washroom bolting the door. I run the hot water tap removing my clothes.

Why is everything spiralling out of control. This was not supposed to happen. I was not supposed to like Aly's touch. I was not supposed to feel whole when I know for a fact he will never accept me as his wife. His touch was not supposed to feel like blissful oblivion. Older than firewhiskey.