"Are you sure this will help doctor?" I question again restlessly.

"Yes Amyra. Look, your case is uncommon but not rare. I have experience with cases involving induced lactation. Your progress also has been good so far. Today's session with hospital-grade electric breast pump was also good for a starter. But I don't think you will start lactating fast with it. You need actual stimulation if you want to start lactating fast." Dr.Riyana says in her usual mundane doctor tone.

I frown, "But doc, my son has not had breastfed milk for six months already. I can't have him living on formula milk anymore. I thought after the pill treatment I could start lactating."

"You need to use the breast pump every three hours for stimulation. Only then your prolactin secretion will increase enough to produce milk. But it can take one to two months more. The process will be faster if someone sucks on your nipples regularly. It could be the baby or your husband." She says as if she didn't just ask me to have my husband suck my nipples.

I am mortified to say the least.

"But doc, there won't be any secretion the first time my baby does it right. Faizu will be irritated if he just keeps sucking and there is no milk. It will be disheartening for him." I say in a bid to get an alternative for this problem.

She shrugs, "He will have to wait Amyra. There is no other option that could lead you to lactate faster than two months atleast without natural stimulation. If you want, you can wait until then. But you need to make sure you use the pump."

I nod even though I am not very happy with the speed of the process. Atleast after two months my baby can have healthy milk.

I gather the medicines and the small rectangular box containing the breast pump. Today they gave me a demo of how to use it. It was painful but I was told it would get better eventually. More like I will get used to it. My phone rings as soon as I am out of the hospital.

"Assalamu alykum Mom. Kaisi hain aap?"

"Main to theek hun beta, tum apna haal chaal batao. Shaadi ko pura ek hafta hogaya aur Maa ko ek call tak nai kiya. Yaad nai aati kya meri?"

"Oh come on Mama. Stop being dramatic. I was busy with Faizu and the family. You know this is my first marriage right? There was so much to learn." I say trying to cross the road.

"You just made it sound like Aman has been married ten times before." She chuckles at the end. I shake my head, mom and her inside jokes.

"How is everything? Are you coping well? Is Aman treating you nicely?" She rambles and it's my time to chuckle.

"One question at a time mom. And the answer is yes to all your questions. I am fine. In fact, I am having a gala time with my baby. You know he is so adorable. I still can't believe he is mine. I just can't wait to go home and cuddle with him." I say unlocking the car.

"Where are you going home from? As far as I know, your last contract already ended and you will not be taking a new client until after six months." I am sure she is thinking of all the possible dangerous scenarios.

"Relax mom. I was at the maternity hospital. Remember we came here about a month ago." By now I have reversed and am heading towards the highway.

"Oh! What did Dr.Riyana say? "

I sigh, recalling the incident back at the hospital.

"She told I can't secrete until next two months if I only use the breast pump. I need to get natural stimulation, that too everyday if I need a faster milk production."

"So what's the problem. Faizu is there. I know he will be irritated with just sucking and getting no milk but we can't help it right. And there is always my son-in-law for additional help, no? "

"Stop it mom. Not you too. And if you want to ask if we have already had sex, just ask it directly. Don't beat around the bush." I groan, pleading God to get me out of this awkward situation.

She laughs at my embarrassment. Glad she finds it funny.

"But physical intimacy is an essential part of any relationship beta. You can't just ignore that aspect. And keep one more thing in mind, it's not just Faiz that you have to take care of. Agreed, Faiz was a bigger part of the reason you got married to Aman but now he is also your husband. Which means, he has all rights to demand a physical relation with you. Not just that, you need to take care of his other needs also. His health, his timings, his food. You are getting me right? Don't ignore other responsibilities while being a mother."

"I get it mother. I have reached home, I will call you back later. Love you, tell daddy I miss him."

"Allah Hafiz. Love you too."

I can hear my son crying the moment I enter the house. I rush towards Mamijaan's room. He is crying and even though Mamijaan is patting his back he wouldn't stop.

"Kya hogaya mere bete ko. Tum to good boy hona. Phir kyun rorahe ho." I pick him in my arms swinging him in the air. The rush of air through his face ceases his crying and he looks around amazed.

"Achcha. Mahinon se dadi ne sambhala uska kuch nai. Jaise hi mama dikhi to rona band." Mamijaan says dramatically as if wounded.

I rub my nose in his chest and he giggles in glee. His tiny fingers wrapping around the hair strands peaking out of my hijab.

"Dadi se kaho aisa kuch nahin hai. Wo to hamari favourite dadi hain. Haina Faizu?" I slowly tickle his sides and as expected he smiles.

"Favourite? Nai ji, yaad rahe ham aapki ekhlouti dadi hain." She saunters off as if she just delivered her election winning speech.

Now I know the reason why she and Mom were best friends through college and have remained so. It's because of their mutual love for drama.

"Faizu, ab room mein chalte hain. Wahan mama aur Faizu dher sare toys ke saath khelenge." With that I run towards our room with the hospital bag still in my hands and that has my son squealing more.

After freshening up, I sit with Faizu on the mat on ground surrounded by his toys. He has a lot of them. He is so energetic most of the day but I have noticed by evening time, he gets exhausted. He can't stop jumping in his place until someone takes him. My son is an attention seeker.

After half an hour I pick him from his place and place him on my shoulder. I don't want him to be completely exhausted by the time hi father comes. So I place him horizontally between my hands and swing him back and forth. Five minutes later, he is in a deep slumber and I place him in his cradle. Setting the baby monitor on.

Time for bahu duties now Amyra. I walk into the kitchen spotting Mamijaan already working on the tortillas.

"How can I help Mamijaan?"

"Its fine Ammu. You already get too exhausted taking care of your hyperactive son. I can manage the kitchen."

True though, I need to get used to his energy levels. But still I insisted on helping and we continue with the chores.

"Salam ammi. Hey there Jass. Aaj tu kitchen mein kaise."

I shrug my shoulders, continuing my work. He is home early today. Probably because tomorrow is the weekend. He saunters to the fruit basket picking an apple from there.

"Room mein chal, mujhe kuch kaam hai." He whispers in my ear, his breath is tickling my skin leaving goosebumps. I can smell his faint cologne and sweat from him. I just nod discreetly.