Noor's POV

FIVE YEARS LATER.

" Zaar!!! Zaar!!! Go Zaar!!!", the adrenaline coursing through my body seems as if I am on the track instead of her. Almost there. Allah, just let her cross the ribbon. Yeah!!!!?

"Yes!!! She won dammit. Ashfa my daughter made me so proud today." This is the first time in the last five minutes I turn towards her, Ashfa also having a winning glint in her eyes.

She hugs me tightly, "I am so happy to see your real smile after a long time". My smile disappeared instantly hearing her comment. No Noorie. Don't go there. Red flag.

"Momma, I wanna go there and hug Gul too. Look that guy is hugging her, he might crush her with his hold. Come on Momma. Be fast. Or I will go there myself and punch him." Comes the boyish but cute voice of her cute little son, Ahad. I laugh at his jealousy, he is already so protective over Zaar. Surprisingly, inspite of being married after us, Ashfa and Riz popped out their baby before us.

Ahad is five years old whereas my munchkin is three. He runs towards her as fast as he can and separates the other toddler hugging her.

"Gul, stay away from him. He isn't a good boy." And Zaar happily nods hugging the life out of him, her hug seems to melt all his worry as he wraps her in his embrace almost immediately. The other boy walks off not before stomping his feet. My girl is a charmer already.

After they have had their time together, Zaar runs to me, "Muma, I won the running race". I smile proudly.

"Congratulations baby. You can eat as many scoops of chocolate ice-cream as you want today. " And she squeals in excitement whispering in Ahad's ears about how they are going to have fun.

I sigh, at least my daughter is happy.

"Ashfa, I have to go to the clinic. Will you drop Zaar at the mansion on your way?" She nods and I am off to work. The one place that can give me an escape from reality without being questioned.

I slump on the chair exhausted. There were a lot more patients than the usual today. I check out of the reception and tell Martha we are done for the day. I lose my balance while walking to the car. Goodness, my head hurts like a bitch. When the blurry vision fades, I slowly tread towards my car unlocking it. I drive towards the mansion as slowly as I can. Though my baby must be waiting for me, the place haunts me. Nothing feels good there.

I just feel suffocated there, everything reminds me of him. The lounge of our cuddles while watching the movie, the dining table of his hand teasing me under the table, the bathroom of all the times we showered together, and that bedroom. I don't even feel like going there, I just sleep there so that the family doesn't get suspicious.

I wish I could stop living, I hate this feeling, without his scent engulfing me, without his gaze focussed on me without blinking for a second while I dress up, without his possessive hold on my waist, I feel half. As if I have been brutally attacked by the merciless monotony. As if the world is conspiring against me. It is, it is doing everything it can to keep me away from him.

Stop the depressing thoughts Noorie, just go there and behave as if his absence doesn't matter. He doesn't matter anymore. I hate him. I always will. Yes, that's the spirit Noorie.

With that, I Noor Sajid Durrani solemnly resolve to put in every bit of my acting to use and not think of that man. With that being said, I enter into the living room. The loud chatters among the members leaving me confused because it's been quiet ever since he left us.

"Mama, look papa got me my favourite barbies. Aren't they the prettiest?" My daughter's ecstatic voice causing my body to shudder with realisation. Is he here? No!! How can that be?

Am I hallucinating? Maybe I have finally lost my sanity yearning for his presence so much that I am imagining him now. Zaar shakes my hand, which breaks my reverie. I want to ask her again if her dad is back home but I don't. It doesn't matter. It shouldn't bother me and it doesn't.

Who are kidding with? We can see through you babe.

I roll my eyes at my inner self. She has to appear at the most unwanted moment. I take Zaar in my arms and walk to my room after greeting everyone. I am not in mood for small talk. Zaar has all her attention on her barbies. She seems too focused. Her eyebrows raised slightly and lips puckered into a cute expression that reminds of him again. He has the same expression on him when he is thinking too hard about something. Gulzaar Izaan Durrani is a father's daughter thorough and thorough. She got all the looks from him.

Not just that, her stubborn and rebellious nature also is courtesy of her father. We all call her Zaar because that's a combination of Zaan's and my name. Only Ahad calls her Gul.

"Zaar, baby stay on the bed please. Mama will freshen up soon and feed you dinner. Okay? " She nods obediently.

By the time I am out of the washroom, the sight that greets me steals the breath out of me. Awwww. Tears spring up the corners of my eyes, how I longed to see this beautiful moment. Both the father daughter duo are having the time of their life, laughing and enjoying as if they are the only ones in the world. How I wish to just walk there and wrap my arms around my entire world.

He looks insanely hot with his bulging arms as he plays with Zaar, she is his life. I am half jealous of her sometimes. I wish I could run my fingers along his stubble, the slightly grown hair creating a fantasy world. And there goes my resolution of the day. Damn you Zaan.

I change in the closet pretending he doesn't exist and pad towards the kitchen. He could have stayed behind, he could have told bade papa he didn't want to go on that business trip lasting one month. He could have asked me why I was busy with the job instead of screaming all accusations at me.

'You don't care for me anymore. Infact, I have no importance in your life. Your job, your friends, the family, even Zaar. Everyone gets to be your priority but not me. I have been waiting here with all these fucking preparations for the last four hours just so I could get a lone moment with you on our anniversary. But Ms.Noor is too damn busy to spare poor me a glance. Fine, I don't give a shit about you too. And yes, you can go to all those bloody medical camps that you so badly wanted to go with that friend Riz of yours. I don't fucking care. You can fuck those men that keep eyeing you for all I care. Don't bitch about me before your friends about it now. And happy fucking marriage anniversary. Thanks for making me feel like shit.'

He had single-handedly squeezed my heart until I couldn't breathe anymore. I felt like I have been stuck in a plane with no oxygen supply. I agree I had been too busy the entire month before he left. But what can I do? Life happened. My responsibilities increased overtime. Zaar, the hospital then taking care of the family. Taima and mom aren't as energetic as before to handle the Durrani Mansion. Someone needed to take responsibility. I did. It's not like I was spending my time idling away from him.

Or maybe you began taking all his care and love towards you for granted. You can never be too busy for your loved ones.

Maybe. I regret it anyway. I have missed his presence too much to think of who was right or wrong at this point, I have realised even though I have a huge load of duties to perform Zaan is my safe place. My place to go to after a tiring day, he is my anchor. The kind I can't function without.

And I didn't even bitch about going to the camp. I was just sad Zaan wouldn't let me go there but then I had gotten over it. I wanted to be there with my entire team which included Riz and had fought with Zaan on this matter. But I now realise he was being protective. He just wanted me safe, he doesn't trust my safety with anyone in his absence. Even though him and Riz have had a peace pact Zaan is still wary of him.

The maids are rushing around to set everything on the dining table. The family already gathering for dinner. Zaan arrives with Zaar in his arms. Her eyes shining with happines. They settle beside papa and before I can sit beside Zaan he places Zaar there. My heart pricks at his ignorance, he always ate with Zaar on his lap just so I could sit beside him.

I look up at him to see his eyes trained on Zaar, so you won't even look at me now? Have we really fallen apart? Doesn't he love me anymore?

I barely mange to eat anything as I get up and follow bade papa to his room after he is done with food. I give him his medicines, he blows some prayers on me. I smile and come out after asking him to rest. By the time I settle everything in the kitchen and after instructing the maids to lock all doors, and come in the room I realise it's been an hour.

Zaan is sleeping on his side, I checked Zaar is deep in sleep in her room. I walk towards Zaan, my heart soaring at the sight of my man. I missed him terribly. I bend towards him, gently stroking his hair. I recite a few ayats and blow over him, closing my eyes I pray to God.

'Allah, please keep him healthy and safe. I don't want him to ever stay away from me. Ameen'

As I open my eyes, I see his deep brown orbs already trained on me, scrutinising my features like a puzzle. I am hoping he will gather me in his arms, and wait with bated breathe for his next move. All he does is close his eyes and turn sides, his back now facing me.

I can't stop the hurt from getting to me, a tear slides down my eyes betraying me, I need to get the hell out of here. I spring out of the bed trying to suppress my sobs.

Before I reach the door, I am stopped due to a weight on my waist. I freeze, what's happening? Zaan's hands, they are Zaan's hands. I can faintly hear his heartbeat, just as loud as mine.

"Want to leave me again?"

"I was not the one who abandoned his wife and daughter for a month", I retort my voice raising higher.

I turn around only to see him on his knees still holding onto me strongly. My tears are now streaming nonstop. Why did he have to put us through so much pain? I fall to the ground as well, Zaan makes sure I land in his lap with his pull.

He has a painful expression on his face as well, "I thought you don't want me anymore. I thought you are finally fed up of me."

"I am sorry to have made you feel that way. Everything kept me occupied. I still should have taken time to spend with you. Don't ever think I will give up on you Zaan. You are the only thing I have fought for all my life. I am sorry my behaviour made you feel that way, I cherish you like the night cherishes the stars embedded in it, they are the only highlight and beauty of the dark." I manage to get out amidst all the crying. He pulls me into his neck, my peace returning at the familiarity of his cocoon.

"I am sorry too. Whatever I spoke on the phone that day before running away was all bullshit. Though I was hurt, I didn't mean to use that language with you. I was so angry and hurt when you didn't come on our anniversary. I would kill any guy that even raised his eyes at you the wrong way in a heartbeat, seeing him in a close proximity with you is a far off thing. I can't live without your attention jaan. This past month was so hard on me. I didn't know what else to do apart from sitting and thinking about you all day long. I understand you have responsibilities but I need you too."

I pull back to look into his eyes, they tell me tales as old as Earth with the sincerity I haven't met before. Right now, they hold within their confines the simplest but the most important element of a relationship, that is honesty further giving evidence to his speech.

I pull him for a much-needed kiss, trying to portray what he is to me. He is more than the air I breathe, beyond the priciples I hold dear and someone for whom I can give up my life. His touch so familiar as if he is a part of me, he is. We pull back gently. I run my hands along his back with my head settled deep into his neck. He rests his head against the foot of the bed, his fingers running soothingly in my locks. He is obsessed with them.

"I missed the feel of you against me. You are my other half in the true sense jaana. I go bonkers even at the thought of waking up and not seeing you pressed into me. That's the most beautiful feeling ever. If you so much as think of ignoring me again, I will chain you to my bed and never let you go. Get that!"

I laugh out loud, "Whatever your majesty says"

His eyes light up like they have seen heaven when he sees me laughing and that's when I know the heavens and hell and every other superpower conspired to make this man mine and I can't thank them enough.