warning: lazy, half asleep sex written ahead

Her dad had been the one to send the link to her. How he had even found it on Tumblr was something she never wanted to think about. Why he was on Tumblr was something Marissa hadn't wanted to think about either. Especially after Jensen and her had just made love in his apartment. Well, not just, as they had been talking and kissing sweetly and caressing the other's body any chance they got. Jensen had decided that since he was an old man they should try and sleep.

Marissa had barely found herself half asleep when her phone had vibrated on the end table and she rolled away from Jensen's warmth to check it... like an idiot. Now, finding a link to the post and staring at it for twenty minutes before hucking it over to where her clothes were on Jensen's desk chair, rolling over to try and get some sleep. However, the article stuck in her brain.

It probably didn't help that Jensen was breathing deeply as he snoozed, soft snores falling gently from his full lips. Lips that had been kissing Danneel for way longer than she had. She couldn't help but compare herself to the other woman - who she had talked to through text messaging a few times, but not enough to actually get to know her. Though, Danneel was really nice from the three times they had texted, and Marissa wondered if she would ever compare to her.

Jensen had known Danneel a lot longer than he had her before they started dating. She wondered if Jensen would ever look at her the way he still did at Danneel. The examples they had in the post made Marissa gulp as she looked at the man's sleeping face, wondering what he thought of her.

And then the bringing up of the age difference just made Marissa even more self-conscious. Was she to immature? Did the memes annoy Jensen? Was this just a fling to him, wanting to see what it was like to date a younger girl, or was it what she hoped it to be?

The thoughts that had been distilled in her, about how she was annoying (thanks to her older sister), that she was too chubby (thanks to her dad and sister), that she wasn't smart (which was mostly jokes from her siblings but still) made Marissa gulp. One last glance at Jensen's sleeping face and she was pushing herself up, slipping on Jensen's shirt that she found on the floor and moving quietly out of the room.

The shirt hung loosely off of her torso, the guns and roses tattoo showing beneath it. Marissa moved to the kitchen, got herself a glass from the cupboard and went to the fridge to fill it with water. She leant against the counter, wondering if Danneel had stretch marks on her hips, thighs, and around her belly button. Wondered if she had a scar like Marissa did on her calf from that time she burned herself on a motorcycle muffler as a child. She wondered if Danneel had a little bit of fat clinging to her arms, that her collar bones didn't show because she didn't starve herself, that her ass could never compete to any other girl ever.

She finished her water, trying not to rush away and out of the apartment due to her own insecurities. Marissa had to swallow them down, had to show that she was okay, that these things didn't bother her, because it has been years. She was an adult. Marissa had to be well-adjust because her trauma was something that shouldn't be bugging her still.

At least, that's what her siblings said.

Marissa stayed in her spot for a few more moments, before deciding that she needed to pee and making her way to the bathroom. She did her business, feeling slightly awkward about how the sound of her peeing echoed through Jensen's empty apartment, washed her hands, and made her way back to the bed.

She settled back into the bed, laying with her back to Jensen and tried to go to sleep. Keyword was tried. Jensen rolled over to her, nestling his body into her back and wrapping an arm around her waist. He hummed against her skin as he planted a kiss on the exposed skin of her neck.

"What are you doing up, honey? It's like three a.m.," Jensen asked, his voice low and beautiful, gruff from sleep. It made a shiver run through Marissa's spine. She turned around, planting a kiss on his slightly pouted lips, before tucking herself under his chin. The feeling of his lips on her hair made her smile.

"I had to pee," she whispered, planting a kiss on his collarbone. It wasn't technically a lie, and Jensen hummed, before he was rolling her onto her back and giving her a lazy, breathtaking kiss. Marissa responded, moving her lips at the pace Jensen set.

It escalated further until Jensen was slowly thrusting into her, Marissa gripping onto his shoulders and her legs wrapped loosely around his waist, keeping his lips captured in a kiss.

"I love you," Jensen panted when Marissa let his lips free, groaning at a particularly deep thrust, Marissa moaning in return. His forehead rested on her's, their lips barely a breath away, air puffing between them as they continued the lazy sex.

"I love you too," Marissa told him, squeezing the hand that was gripping her's. Jensen smiled breathtakingly at her, capturing her lips in another kiss, swallowing the moan that came from Marissa's chest.

Jensen brought them both to climax, Marissa clutching him closer than probably necessary. He was amazing and smirking at her lazily, hair sleep and sex mussed, a prominent hickey on his neck from round one. They rolled over so that Marissa was draped half on him, head on his chest, his arms clutching her impossibly close, and legs entangled. Marissa traced shapes lightly on Jensen's chest, smiling when she felt Jensen plant a kiss to her forehead.

"You're amazing," Jensen mumbled, "And I'm really tired and you're truly my sun, my stars, and my moon."

"You're beautiful," Marissa whispered, "the best thing that's ever happened to me. Seriously, Jensen." She placed a kiss over his heart to try to express how much she actually meant the statement.

Marissa was completely in love with Jensen Ackles. Loved his green eyes, the freckles that polka dotted his body, the tattoo he got in JJ's honour, the shape of his hands, the slight pudge in his stomach, the curve of his lips, how nice his teeth were, everything. Him and his stupid fucking perfectness. And laying basically on top of him with all her ordinariness... she tried not to think about it.

Jensen captured her mouth in another slow, tender kiss before he was pulling her somehow even closer, his eyes closing. Marissa laid her ear on his chest, listening to the thud of his heartbeat, continuing to lightly trace shapes on her chest. She was able to tell exactly when he fell asleep when his breath seemed to deepen even more than it had.

Marissa enjoyed the way Jensen's arms felt around her. So, she nustled herself into Jensen's warmth, closing her eyes and letting herself drift in the post coital haze.