...Why did you take your life?...

These words seemed to echoe around Alana's dreamworld until she felt her soul landing on a soft bed.

She woke up to find herself lying on a queen sized bed with unfamiliar walls. It took a while of processing the whole room to realise she was still dreaming. For some reason, she felt familiar with what it contained. As if she had lived there before...for a long time.

"Mistress, you are awake?" The voice came from the doorway.

"I am?"

"Mistress, the day is bright today. An auspicious sign of good news."

She rolled her eyes as she waddled into sitting position. She realised how round her stomach had become. Somehow she felt this maid of hers has always been so optimistic.

"What would you like to eat today?" The maid asked.

"Hmm.... oshtmus porridge sounds good?" Alana felt her mouth answering automatically without control. Her mind picturing the patch of these bright blue flowers blooming in the back garden of this house.

"Our minds think alike." Her maid answered enthusiastically. " I woke early this morning and saw them blooming and thought oshtmus would enhance the porridge flavour today." Her maid smiled gently as she handed her a tray of breakfast containing a bowl of oshtmus flavoured porridge.

Alana felt herself smirking somehow. In her other brain she knew she had smelt the porridge before answering her maid. She wanted to muse her maid. The effort made into making her porridge shouldn't be wasted, she might as well reap the benefits.

Alana wondered why she suddenly felt cynical, as if recently in this timeframe she'd been very cynical. Her other brain imagined that maybe, it was the fact that for the past three years of pregnancy, fate has not been by her side. Alana was confused once again at why she felt there was someone in her body, answering all her inner questions.

Before she could question it, she was whisked into later that day. Her mind becoming submissive to this body she had taken over. If felt as if she was in the corner somewhere, watching as she was controlled by the owner of the body. Despite being aware that she overpowered this body, there was that alien brain next to her—maybe, the owner of the body—forcing her to watch and relive the moments.

That day, after she had ate breakfast, her maid helped her bath and dress. Then it was to the usual activity of sitting idly in the living lounge while knitting yet another jacket for the child she carried. The child that hated her.

Just as Alana was about to question why she felt that this child hated her, she felt something moving vicariously inside her stomach. This feeling she was accustomed to, because her little bean in real life often times kicked against her stomach this way.

However, in the dream the child inside her was kicking furiously against her ribs. The impact was as if a knife was cutting her from inside out. She doubled at the blinding pain. Her maid was instantly by her side, assisting her.

"It's okay little one. I know you want to come out, but hold on for a while." Her maid soothed her stomach.

Alana suddenly felt an urge to lash out at her maid for speaking softly to this child inside her. The other brain controlled her thoughts and feelings and so couldn't help but feel what the body felt and think what the body thunk.

This child was a monster. A monster that slowly ate all her energy as her pregnancy progressed. She was tired. Too tried. It has been a very long three years.

Suddenly the sound of a singing crow was heard outside the window. Warning them that there were intruders. Her maid ran outside to check the intruder. She didn't get up, knowing well it was pointless and that the child will most likely emit another resounding kick again.

She waited patiently while listening to her maid's voice, whom greeted her fellow sisters, until she showered the main guest with praise.

As soon as she heard whom her maid greeted, she bounced in action. Alana felt as if her feet had almost flew to the door.

In her mind, she saw a tall brunette fairie immortal with vivid brown eyes and dark red lips. Her clothes always brown and gold.

"Mika!" Her body automatically ran outside and upon recognising that this woman was the same as in her mind, her body ran to hug her.

This woman was her beloved sister.

"Sister, you've finally come for me! It's been three years, I've just about lost hope!"

Her other brain was so ecstatic to see another face besides hers and her maid in this island. She was busy hugging her sister tight, she didn't notice that Mika didn't hug her back.

"Princess, have you been well?" Mika spoke but her tone of voice was detached and unfeeling.

The other brain didn't care to notice the detachedness. Her hands quickly grabbed Mika inside and began ordering for her maid to make tea and bring out those cookies she baked yesterday.

She sat Mika on the table and started chatting to her sister as if these long three years after delivering a blow to her, hadn't happened.

"Princess." Mika kept trying to interject her constant chattering.

She relayed all the good things that happened to her. How the child inside her had grown. How despite all the suffering, she still had hope that one day her family will come and visit her. How much she loved knitting.

Her voice slowly became wary, however. As if it hid deeply how these last three years when no one came for her had affected her. For these last three years she bore the pain of her family and that man's abandonment.

"Princess." Mika spoke again.

Suddenly at that moment, Alana began detaching from the body. As if, her mind was separating from the other brain. However, even as she was detached, she still felt like she bound by that body. A soulless ghost, being whisked and forced to watch the scenery in front of her.

She gasped suddenly as she realised that body she had been bound to was none other than that woman. That woman whom she saw in the cube before this dream within a dream. That other brain that had kept controlling her thoughts and feelings had been none other than, Naala.

Naala suddenly contorted her face, as if in internal pain and distress. She doubled over the table. Alana frowned in shock as she started feeling the same pain; the sharp wave vibrating throughout her abdominal muscle. The pain resonated deep inside, as if her womb was splitting apart.

As that woman held her breath. Alana too held her breath. Somehow, even though detached, she felt she was still being controlled.

"Everyone outside. I need to speak with the princess alone." Mika ordered all the maids to leave the house and occupy themselves with something else.

Alana felt another wave down her abdomen and this time the intensity seemed much stronger than before. Even the child inside her felt it: he kicked furiously inside her. Alana watched as Naala held on to the table for support, her fingers whitened by how much she squeezed.

Sweat profused on Naala's forehead and the woman didn't know how long she could hold out until she let Mika know she was in labour.

Alana didn't want to go through this pain. It felt too real. Too raw.

"What is it you want to speak with me about?" Naala asked looking up. Mika seemed to have noticed her discomfort, however, she ignored it and continued where she left off.

"Princess, I tried, I really did. But his highness, the king, our father is stubborn. I couldn't persuade him to change his mind to let me see you. He wanted to punish me for bringing up your name. He still calls you a traitor..."

Naala breathed heavily, the betrayal still raw and painful. Alana could feel what that woman felt. In her mind, she saw as her once loving father—whom had once showered her with adoration and praise—turn his back on her.

"...So I snuck out of the palace. I had to come and see you. I knew you were drawing to your last months of pregnancy. I had to come." Mika finished.

As another wave pressured her, Alana felt the gush of water rushing out of her. She watched how that water soiled Naala dress. As Naala breathed out of her mouth, so did Alana.

"And I really appreciate what you have done for me. My sister, you're the only one that cares for me and I'm deeply indebted to you." Naala spoke, however, her voice was filled with agonised pain.

"And yet, princess, I could not believe Lylas truly deserted you. And so, in my last goodwill to you, I snuck to the demon realms to seek your justice. I found out that he was located at Jaras mountain and he had an empire there.

Naala piqued with sudden interest. Alana too was very much alert with attention.

"I disguised myself as one of them and went to his empiral state. What I saw was a sight for sore eyes." Mika continued.

"What did you see, sister?" Naala was rapt with attention at that moment. She could finally breath through he contractions. She knew she had five minutes before the next one hit. And so, for those five minutes she soaked in what Mika had to say.

"He had another woman in his arms." Mika declared.

This betrayal was blow to her heart.

It was worser than her father's. Alana too, felt punctured and stabbed by the feeling of betrayal. With an addition of the excruciating feeling of labour. She felt as if the pain had sipped into her soul and was controlling her every thought and reason. In her mind, she saw the vows they had made to each other slowly disintegrating to ashes.

He had once told her, "You're the only woman I have ever loved Naala and you're the only woman I plan to love for the rest of my life...no matter how long that life will be you will always be in my heart."

Naala suddenly whimpered in agony. Alana joined her.

Mika ignored her distress and continued. "I was very angry when I saw them! I revealed myself and I asked him, why, why would he leave you?"

"He almost killed me when he recognised who I was." Mika continued. "He still held a grudge. When that woman in his arms eventually calmed him down, he told me that he was getting married to her. He told me he no longer wished to be associated with anything from the fairie realms."

Another blow to the heart. Naala felt even more wearier. She knew his heart, he had told her the exact same thing when he separated with her three years ago. And so, the fact that he still hated her, the fact that his hate was this strong, felt as if he had spoken those words directly to her.

"I asked him again; why would he abandon you when you are still carrying his child. He said, "that fairie bastard is not mine and will never be mine." .... He told me he had found his home in the demon realms and would crown his new queen soon."

The tears were suddenly streaming endlessly down Naala's eyes. Alana wiped her own ghost tears. The anxiety and distress, added with the pain of labour devastated Naala mentally and physically. Her state of health went awry.

"Then finally as a last parting gift he said to give you something. He handed me this," Mika took out a small pocket out of her sleeve and handed it to her.

Naala took that piece and unravelled it with impatient fingers. As soon as she discovered what was inside, her hand began trembling.

Beside the vial of what looked to be jaguar poison, there was a note inside the pocket with his handwriting.

His message was; 'Naala, I hate you. For the very first moment we met, I never liked you. For as long as I live, I will forever despise your existence. I can't even stand hearing your name... So why don't you do the world a favour and drink the jaguar poison to kill your self and that bastard child. No child of mine can be born out of a fairie witch.'

Naala writhed in agony as she fell to the floor. It felt as if the child inside her wanted to crawl out of her stomach and leave her body too. It felt as if, he too, was also protesting being born from her. It felt as if that child never wanted to be inside her stomach to begin with. It felt as if both father and son despised her so much, they wished her dead.

What to do? Those people had once been her world. In fact, they still were her whole world. But her world didn't want her. Her world wanted her dead.

So there's this kind of pain in the world. Alana didn't know where to clutch. The deep ache in her chest, or the tearing of her insides that vibrated throughout her organs, limbs, fingertips. This pain left her eyes blinded with red a colour and left a screeching noise deafening her ears. She was just a ghost on the floor beside Naala, crying with her. Because she was still bound mentally and physically to that woman, if felt as if they were one.

"What's wrong princess?" She heard Mika speak.

"...So painful." They both replied her.

"Do you want the pain gone?"

They nodded.

"Then drink the jaguar poison." They noticed the change in her tone but didn't pay attention to it.

Their trembling hands reached out for the poison Lylas had gifted them with. His last parting gift. Their fingers prised the lid off the small vial.

Perhaps this lonely island will become my tomb. They thought.

Since no one wanted her in this life, what was the point of living?

They doused all the poison in one go. The liquid tasted sweet as it trickled down their throat. This sweetness however turned bittersweet as it reached their stomach and began coursing throughout their blood. This sweetness wiggled itself into their cells and began destroying their every foundations. One by one, painlessly killing off the essence in their body. Doubling over time until finally the redness of their vision changed into blackness.

They welcomed that blackness, feeling a peace enter their heart.

Love? What are you? Have you failed me in this life? Would I ever attain you? Maybe in the next life... maybe when I wake up again, it will be less painful.

Suddenly, Alana felt as if she understood why she always welcomed the blackness of death. Why when Karla had self harmed, she had despised her for it. And why she had despised Naala after learning she took her life. She only needed to look into her reflection to understand.

However, before she could completely comprehend and put together all these mystifying puzzle pieces, a sudden excruciating pain bombarded her.

The pain began at her spine before coursing through her nerves. Every synapses releasing a chemical that burned and burned everything in its wake. She could finally feel her cells slowly incinerating and detaching from her soul. She was burning alive, however she couldn't find her voice to release the pressure in her throat. Her mouth opened in order to yell and cry, but the blackness drowned out her voice.

She screamed mutely at the blackness for mercy. She wanted out of this pain. She begged out of this pain.

Alana didn't know how long she was in that darkness, experiencing that agonising pain, until a split of light pierced through her.

This light somehow represented all the memories and promises Lylas and that woman had made for each other. And as Alana lived through them, she felt as if her heart was breaking into a million pieces.

....

"You promise to come back?" She asked desperately.

He cupped her face and brought his forehead into hers.

"I promise, I'm just going to have a talk that's all. Besides it's overdue considering now we have married."

"Remember father doesn't like you. So whatever you say to convince him...he won't see to it."

"I can be pretty convincing sometimes...just rest a while in the mortal realm and leave it all to me. When I come back we'll walk down the fairie realms hand in hand..."

....

You didn't come back to me. You broke your promise. We didn't walk hand in hand. I walked alone...you disappeared...you abandoned me...

.....

Just as Alana gasped with lungful of breaths as the memories released her, another set of painful broken promises bound her. This memory just before she was deserted to that island as punishment.

....

"... I'm going to live the rest of my days in the demon realms." He announced.

"Okay...when shall I start packing?"

"...you're won't be coming with me." His jaw ticked, his tone as if annoyed.

"What do you mean? Has father gotten into you? Did he say something."

"No." There was something off about that tone.

"Then what? Why can't I come with you?"

"I don't want you to come." He declared.

She stared into his eyes in shock. His expression was cold and detached.

"You promised that—"

"That promise is invalid now."

Something squeezed her heart painfully.

"Why? What changed your mind? Didn't you say you'll only ever love me? Why do you wan't to leave me?" The tears pooled her eyes suddenly.

"Because ever since I met you, you have been my downfall." He couldn't even hold eye contact with her.

Did she disgust him that much?

"I thought you said you didnt blame me. I thought you said you forgiven me."

"I never did."

"But—"

"Goodbye Naala. This is the last you'll ever see me."

As she watched his retreating back, she felt her world crumbling in chaos. Her heart shuddered in painful bursts and her throat clogged with unshed tears. She wanted to call him back. To demand his explanation for this sudden change of mind. But his words echoed around her, stopping her.

"...ever since I met you, you have been my downfall.."

It was the truth of his words that hurt the most.

....

Alana suddenly fought to free herself form these painful memories. She didn't want to experience anymore. She understood that woman's actions now. She understood why at that time she did what she did.

However, Alana disagreed strongly toward that decision. The more she fought for freedom from those painful memories, the stronger she became. The strong she became, the longer she detached. The longer she detached, the more she hovered toward that pain-free light.

As she reached that light, she suddenly became drowsy and lethargic. The closer she got that light, she realised it was crystal diamond. As Alana reached for that diamond the light from it struck her out cold.

Ah relief. She thought to herself. Finally she had reached her goal. She floated willingly and weightlessly out the blackness of her subconscious. Consciousness was just within her reach.

As she slowly came to, she wondered suddenly why that dream had felt so real. She wasn't sure anymore whether it had been a dream at all. However, she was completely glad to leave those last painful moments of that woman's life.

....