"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my hands against my steering wheel as I got stopped at a red light.

I was on my way to Amelia's house. Today was the day- I knew it. I'd woken up with a terrible feeling in my stomach, just because I knew that today was the day.

I leaned my head back against my seat, attempting to breathe. I knew it wasn't my decision to make. I knew I couldn't even change her mind.

But I was going to try.

The light turned green and I stepped on the gas pedal, speeding in front of everyone else. I turned into Amelia's neighborhood, aimlessly searching for her house. It stuck out like a sore thumb- her yard was definitely the nicest on the block.

As soon as I spotted the bright, green grass and flowers, I let out a sigh. I pulled into her driveway and turned off my car, opening my door. I slammed it shut and walked up to her door, knocking on it.

"Amelia!" I yelled, "Amelia-"

The door flew open and her father stood there, his eyes locked on me.

"Sir, i-is Amelia there? I-I need to see-"

"You need to back the hell up," he calmly said, "don't take one more step."

"Sir, please," I said, my voice breaking, "I-I-"

"Get the hell off of my doorstep," he said, "I mean it."

"Can I just see her?" I asked.

"No!" He yelled, "get off of my lawn!"

He shoved me back and I let out a breath, my anger definitely building to be more intense than it already was.

"If I see your name come across her phone, if I see your face anywhere, if I see you anywhere near her," he sneered, "I-"

"Ron!"

I saw Amelia's mom, I was assuming, grab his arm.

"Leave him be," her mom firmly said, her eyes meeting mine for a second.

"No," her dad said, "if I see you near her, if you even think about my daughter, it will not end well, Hero. I can assure your ass of that."

I put myself in Mr. Grey's shoes for a second- if the guy who'd knocked up my daughter was standing in front of me, I'd probably want to knock his ass out, too. No doubt about it.

But it still didn't make it better for me, right now in this situation.

"Leave!" He yelled, slamming the door shut behind him.

I clenched my jaw and raked my hands through my hair, holding in my anger until I made it inside my car.

I exhaled, attempting to just breathe it out.

But that didn't typically work for me.

"Fuck!" I screamed, wanting to throw something. Wanting to hit something. Anything.

I turned on my car and let out one last breath, speeding the entire way home. I needed silence, maybe the gym to help me relax.

I swerved into my designated parking space at the house, and even the fact that Fran's car was parked a little too close to the line pissed me off. I walked inside and slammed the door shut, walking into the kitchen.

I'd never felt anger to this degree. Ever. I'd been pissed before- I'd nearly killed a guy in his yard. But for some reason, I was incredibly, inexplicably pissed right now.

"Fuck me!" I yelled, throwing my keys across the kitchen.

"What the hell is your problem?" Dad asked, making me turn around and face him.

"It's fucking nothing," I said, attempting to brush past him.

"No, go pick up your fucking keys!" He yelled, "you almost broke the goddamn window, Hero."

I exhaled, gripping my hips. I walked over to where my keys had landed, roughly swooping them up from the ground. I dropped them on the counter and attempted to brush past him, yet again, but he stopped me.

Yet again.

"Now what is wrong with you?" He firmly asked, his eyebrows in a furrow.

"Today was the day," I said, opening my arms, "Amelia got rid of the baby. There. Are you happy?"

He chuckled. "You knew that was going to happen. That does not validate that shit."

"Dad-"

"What, did you think you were gonna get to keep it?" He yelled, "did you think that you were gonna get to be a seventeen year old dad? Huh?"

I clenched my jaw. The last thing my anger needed right now was Dad lecturing me.

"Stop treating me like I'm stupid, Dad," I firmly said.

"I'm not treating you like you're stupid!" He yelled, "but you're living with the consequences of a dumb decision!"

"Oh yeah?" I chuckled out, attempting to be as loud as him.

"You don't come in here, throwing shit everywhere because you're pissed," he said, "and you sure as hell don't get to raise your voice at me!"

"H-"

"What are you two yelling about?" Mom asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Your son!" Dad chuckled out.

"You-"

"Stop it!" Mom yelled, and that was the first time I'd ever heard Mom get anywhere near angry.

Both of us stopped, our eyes locked on her.

"Jo, that is you!" She yelled, "when you were his age, and when we were teenagers, you screamed and threw shit around when you got mad! You still do it, Jo! He thinks that's okay! He thinks that's a normal way to cope with any minor inconvenience, but it is not!"

I clenched my jaw, listening to Mom say things that it sounded like she'd been holding in for years. I'd never heard her say a single negative thing about Dad- they'd been too busy being in love to notice the flaws, or it's what I'd always told myself.

"And Hero, that doesn't take away from you," she firmly said, "alright, you've got to find better ways to deal with things. I know you're going through a lot. I understand that. But life doesn't just stop because you're going through a lot. Things don't stop happening."

Neither Dad nor I had anything to say- we were just busy taking in the things that she'd never said before.

"I refuse to live in a home with two men who cannot control their anger anymore," she said, tears clouding her eyes, "I am not letting Fran see this shit and think that it's normal. She doesn't need to think that it's normal for a man to get upset and throw things or scream at her. I-I'm not letting it happen."

Dad clenched his jaw, and I could see him blink a few times. Was he really that upset?

Mom just toggled her gaze between us, shaking her head. She looked defeated as she walked away, as if there was nothing else she could say.

Dad's eyes met mine for a split second before he walked away, just as defeated as she was.

~*~

Josiah had locked himself away in his office, and reasonably so.

No one had ever had the nerve, except his father, to call him out on things like that.

I bit down on my lip as I stood in front of his office, reaching for the door handle. I softly twisted it and noticed that it wasn't locked- we all just assumed that if his doors were closed, they were locked.

I peeked inside, seeing him sitting in his chair in front of the huge picture window he loved looking out of. His back was to me, but I could see his chin in his hand.

I softly closed his doors behind me, cautiously walking into his office. I didn't want him to be angry at me- but I knew he probably was.

"I-I didn't mean to hurt you," I softly said.

He didn't make a single move, just stayed in the very position he was in.

"I'm sorry," I gently said, twiddling my thumbs in front of my stomach.

We sat in silence for a few seconds before he stood up, picking up his whiskey glass that was, surprisingly, still full.

"Can't even drink," he said, placing it on his desk.

I looked up at him, sighing.

He gripped his hips, his head hung. "I am a sorry excuse for a father, Lena."

"Jo, don't ever say that," I firmly said, shaking my head.

"No- no, the things that you said-"

"Josiah, I didn't mean it like that," I said, my voice breaking.

"Let me talk, please," he said, his eyes meeting mine.

"The things you said put things into perspective," he said, "I have a son, Lena. We have a son. We have a daughter. Thankfully, she takes after you. But Hero, that kid, he's identical to me."

I blinked back tears, biting down on my lip.

"I didn't want to have kids when we were younger because I didn't want another human to have to feel the things I feel internally," he said, shaking his head, "I thought it'd be selfish to let another person feel that."

He looked away from me, sitting on the edge of his desk. He braced his palms on his knees, and I could see his cheeks blushing. Which was only something that happened when he was fighting back tears.

"Lena, Mom's bipolar," he said, his voice breaking, "I-I mean, was I just stupid to think I wouldn't get it? That I could fight it for forever?"

"Jo," I softly said. Josiah had never brought this up. I knew about his mother, but I never knew that he even thought he'd gotten that trait.

"There is something wrong with me," he whimpered, "whether it's that, or-or something else-"

I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close, silently sobbing into my chest.

I bit down on my lip, resting my head on top of his.

"I can't let him go through it, Lena," he sobbed, "we've got to get him help."

I wrapped my arms around him tighter, pressing a kiss to his head. "Okay. We will."

"And I'm so sorry," he cried, "I'm so sorry you've had to live in it-"

"Jo, baby, I don't want anything else," I said, "I've never wanted anything else."

He looked up at me, looking weak, tired. I wiped the tear from his cheek, cupping his face. "I love you so much."

He pressed a soft kiss to my lips, his hands gripping my hips. I pulled away from him and rubbed my fingers through his hair, looking down at him.

"My entire family has capitalized and built off of being complete assholes. Anger issues. Stubbornness. I don't wanna be that anymore."

I pressed a kiss to his head. "I wish you would've mentioned it sooner, baby."

He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "I've been trying to fight it for so long, I guess."

"Well, whatever you go through from now on, we do it together," I said, "I don't care what it is."

He looked up at me, nodding. "Alright, deal."

~*~

Mom was right- I needed a new coping mechanism.

The gym, honestly, fired up endorphins and hormones, which probably wasn't even a good idea. Sex- well, we'd seen how that had worked out. Screaming and throwing things couldn't be my way of fixing things for myself.

I let out a sigh and looked up at Fran as she dropped the paintbrushes down on the ground. She smiled an excited smile, sitting next to me. "I can't believe I finally talked you into painting with me."

"Yeah, I can't either," I muttered, "I don't know how to do any of this."

"Well, there's really no right way to do it, you know?" She softly said, dipping her paint brush into some purple paint, "just kinda go with the flow."

I confusedly picked up a brush, dipping into blue paint. I swept it across the canvas and lifted my eyebrows, looking over at her. "Not that hard."

She smiled and focused on her painting. I spaced out- I started thinking of the baby. I'd tried to keep my mind off of it, but I couldn't. I hadn't even heard from Amelia- I had no clue what was going on, but I knew the baby was gone now. I could feel it- I was empty, in a way.

"Hey, is Dad okay?" Fran innocently asked, looking over at me.

"Y-yeah, he's alright," I said, "just had a long day."

"Yeah, I haven't seen him literally at all since I got home," she said, "I figured he's really busy."

I bit down on my lip. I didn't know what theme I was going for with my painting, I was just aimlessly sweeping colors across the canvas.

"How are you?" She asked.

"I'm alright. I-I know I haven't mentioned it much to you, but today was the day Amelia was, you know."

"Oh," she said, "oh, I'm sorry."

"Yeah. It's alright."

She looked over at me for a split second, and back down at her canvas.

"How are things with Brian?"

"Really good," she said, nodding.

"Good," I said, "does he ever get mad?"

She looked over at me. "Uh, no. Not really. I've never seen him get really mad. When he does, it's quiet."

I wish I could be like that.

I nodded. "That's good."

"I guess, yeah," she softly said.

"Hey, princess," Dad weakly said, leaning down to press a kiss to Fran's head.

"Hey, Dad," she greeted, "you okay?"

"Mm hmm," he muttered, and I wasn't sure if I should've avoided him or attempted to make contact with him.

He gripped my shoulder, looking down at me. "You talked him into painting?"

"Mm hmm," she excitedly said, smiling up at him.

Dad pressed a kiss to the top of my head, making me look up at him and bite down on my lip.

"Dad's tired," Mom said, rubbing his back, "we're gonna go upstairs."

"Okay," Fran said, "goodnight, if you guys go to bed."

"Goodnight, babies," Mom said, pressing a kiss to both of our heads.

I smiled. "They're really in love, you know."

"I know," she said, smiling, "I don't think they've ever not been."

We knew, though, what they chose to show us. If they argued, they did it behind closed doors, and never let us really see or hear. Today was the first time I'd ever seen anything close to an argument from them.

The doorbell rang, making me knit my eyebrows together. "It's like, fucking, nine o'clock."

I walked to the door, opening it. My eyes softened up when I saw Amelia standing there, clad in a big hoodie. She looked tired.

"H-hey," I softly said, closing the door behind us as I walked outside.

"Hi," she greeted, her eyes locked on mine.

"How are you?" I asked, "I-I tried to come see you earlier, but-but your dad... yeah."

She nodded, biting down on her lip.

"I'm guessing it's over?" I softly asked.

She looked up at me, and I watched her eyes cloud with tears. I wrapped my arms around her neck and sighed, shaking my head as I closed my eyes.

"I couldn't do it," she cried.

I pulled away from her, shaking my head. "You couldn't do what?"

"I couldn't," she sniffled, "I can't, Hero."

"What?"

"It's stupid, Hero," she said, looking down as she shook her head, "we're seventeen. We can't do this."

"I-I know," I said, "we already agr-"

"But we are," she said, cutting me off as her eyes met mine.

We stood in silence, and it felt like an entire ocean was between us.

"I don't know what I'm doing, and you don't know what you're doing," she said, "and I don't know what changed, but I can't just get rid of it, Hero."

"Amelia," I said, shaking my head, "we-we already agreed- we already went through it. We already accepted that we couldn't. We had an agreement, right?"

"Screw the agreement, Hero," she said, "I can't."

"So you're going to have this child?" I asked, and I wanted to throw up. The thought of a child? I was still a child. How was I supposed to know the first thing about having one of my own?

She bit down on her lip and shrugged. "I can't not have it."

I gulped and grabbed the back of her neck, pulling her into me for a hug. I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, letting out a shaky breath. "So we'll figure it out."

"We'll figure it out," she whispered, pressing the side of her face against my chest.

And I let out a breath, wondering what on earth I was going to do.

~*~

🥲

❤️

❤️