This is the best sleep you've gotten in ages, man.

I rolled my eyes around, slightly opening them and seeing a dim light shining above me.

But it's time to wake up. Sorry.

My eyes snapped open and I inhaled sharply, shooting up from the position I was in.

"Hey, hey," a comforting voice said, making me look all around the hospital room.

"It's me," Dad said, earning my eyes.

I let out a shaky breath, my eyes locked on his.

"What happened?" I asked, tears stinging my eyes.

"You passed out," he said, "and had a panic attack."

I tried to steady out my breathing, blinking back tears. I sniffled, scrunching up my nose as I realized there were cords in both of my nostrils.

I tugged at it, shaking my head. "G-get them out. Please."

"You have to leave it in," Dad said.

I leaned my head back against the bed, looking down at my arm, which had an IV in it.

"You're killing yourself, Hero," Dad softly said, fisting his hands in front of his mouth as he leaned forward on my bed.

I clenched my jaw, looking away from his tear filled eyes.

"And I-I'm so sorry," he muttered, rubbing his eyes, "I'm so sorry I didn't address it. I'm so sorry that I let it get this far."

"Dad," I sighed, looking down at him.

He dropped his head, sniffling. "I'm so sorry."

"Dad, it's not your fault," I said, "p-please don't."

He leaned his head up, covering his eyes with his hand. "It is my job to protect you. It is my job to keep things like this from happening."

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, blinking back tears as I looked away from him.

The door opened, making him and I both snap out of our emotional states. I sniffled and looked at the doctor standing in front of me, my jaw taut.

"Hey, Hero," he said, "at least it's not another broken bone this time."

"At least," I muttered, looking down.

He sat on the edge of my bed, placing a gentle hand on my shin. "You feeling okay? We've got some fluids in you, trying to make up for everything you didn't have in you."

I nodded. "Okay. Thank you."

"Excuse me," Dad muttered, rubbing his eyes as he walked out of the room as quickly as possible.

My bottom lip began to quiver as I hung my head. All I wanted to do was fall apart, but there wasn't a single person in my life I could fall apart in front of. I had to remain a man in front of Dad, I had to remain a man in front of Mom and Fran.

"Hero, son," the doctor softly said, "your body, it's really weak."

I nodded, blinking back tears.

"I know I'm probably the last person you want to talk to," he said, "but you have to talk to someone."

I bit down on my lip, leaning my head back against my bed.

"This isn't a road you can go down by yourself," he said, shaking his head, "you need some land nav from this point on, and it can't be yourself anymore."

I locked eyes with him, knowing he was right. I knew it, but I wasn't sure I could accept help.

"Can I see my mom?" I whispered, chewing on my lip.

He nodded. "I'll be back in to check up on you."

He walked out and I gulped, seeing Dad walk back in. "I brought you some water."

He placed it beside my bed, looking down at me.

"I'm okay, Dad," I whispered, looking up at him, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

I watched tears cloud his eyes as he shook his head, making him let out a breath and grip his hips. "Mom's coming in, okay?"

He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, and I held it together until he made his way out of the room. I let out a sob, leaning my head back.

"Hey, sweetie," Mom greeted.

She walked over to me, making me wrap my arms around her and sob into her shoulder.

She rubbed my back, sitting on the edge of my bed. I couldn't find it within me to pull away from her, all I wanted was to forever stay in her embrace.

She pulled away from me, cupping my face.

"I ruined everything," I whispered, shaking my head.

"You did not ruin everything," she firmly said, wiping the tears from my cheeks.

I raked my hands through my hair, letting out a few labored breaths. "A-and everyone saw me fall apart. God, I acted like a fool in front of everyone. Does everyone hate me?"

She pulled me into her, making me let out another sob. My head fell against her chest, making her gently rub my back.

"Hero, everyone loves you. You have an entire waiting room full of support and love out there for you."

She pulled away from me, tilting her head over with a soft smile. "You'll never be able to understand how much better everyone's lives are with you in them. You are so electric."

I bit down on my lip, looking down. "I'm so sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry about," she whispered.

My head fell against her shoulder, making her wrap her arms around my shoulders. "I'm right here. We're gonna help you, okay?"

I leaned up, my eyes meeting hers.

"We need you to let us help you," she softly said, nodding.

I thought about all of the people in my life that I had a reason to get better for. Mom, Dad, Francesca, Josie, Henry, Eros, Amelia. Everyone.

You needed a reason? There it is. All of those people are your reason.

I nodded, biting down on my lip. "Okay."

~*~

"You're doing good?" I asked Hero from over the phone, turning off my car.

"Yeah," he hoarsely replied, "yeah, I'm alright."

"Alright," I said, "I'm gonna run by tonight. See you then."

"See you."

I ended the call, chewing on my bottom lip. Hero had been my best friend since the beginning of time, and I couldn't even see how bad he was struggling.

It made me wonder just how damaged my observance skills were.

I opened my door, getting out of my car. I locked it and knocked on Zach's front door, chewing on my lip.

"Please answer," I muttered to myself, leaning my head back.

The door opened, making me look towards it. There Zach stood, clad in a rather nice suit.

"H-hey, I can come back-"

"No, you're good," he said, leaning against the threshold, "I'm just always ready before everyone else."

I nodded, trailing my eyes down him. "You look nice."

"Come in," he said, stepping aside. I walked into his house, a hand in my hair.

"Chem stuff?" He asked, his genuine eyes boring into my own.

"No," I said, shaking my head, "no, it has nothing to do with chem."

He clenched his jaw, placing his hands in his pockets.

"Listen," I muttered, "I-I've never been the best at this stuff. I wanted to give you some space, time, I don't know."

He didn't say anything, just urged me on.

"I'm not ashamed to be seen with you," I said, shaking my head, "and I hate that I made you feel that I might be. I was just nervous. I didn't want you, nor I, to say something that I wasn't ready to be said."

He slowly nodded. "Okay then."

I bit down on my lip. "A-are you upset with me?"

He shook his head. "No, but I don't think you're ready for this. Truthfully."

"Zach-"

"Henry, you're not even out," he said, shrugging, "which isn't a bad thing, everyone does their thing at their own pace. But I don't want to be your secret."

My eyes softened, making me shake my head. "Y-you're not my secret, Zach."

"But that's what it'll become," he said, "it'll be sneaking around, trying your hardest to keep it under wraps. If I'm gonna be in your life, unfortunately, I want to be in it loudly. I don't want to keep it quiet, or a secret."

I raked my hand through my hair.

"And that doesn't work for you right now, Henry," he said, "and the beautiful thing about that is that it's okay."

"Zach," I muttered.

"Henry, it's okay," he said, "seriously."

He began to brush past me, but I grabbed his arm. I locked eyes with him, my jaw taut.

"I'll figure something out," I muttered, my eyes darting down to his lips.

"I'm not rushing you into something you're not ready for," he said, matching my tone.

"Can I kiss you?" I asked.

He grabbed my face and pulled my lips to his, and in that moment, I felt my stomach completely flip.

I pulled him closer to me, moving my lips against his in an extremely desperate manner.

He pulled away from me, resting his forehead against mine.

He smiled, pulling away from me as he cleared his throat. "So you live up to what the girls say about you."

I bit down on my lip, still in somewhat of a state of shock.

"Ah, Zach, you clean up so nicely."

I sniffled and stepped away from him, looking over at his mom. Her long, tan legs were becoming more revealed as she walked downstairs, and I saw a smile cross her face when she saw me.

"Hi. Henry, right?"

"Yes ma'am," I said, "hi again."

She smiled, tilting her head over. "Chemistry stuff?"

"Yeah," Zach said, "yeah."

I smiled over at her, nodding towards the door. "I'll head out."

"I'll walk you out," Zach said.

"It was nice to see you again, ma'am," I said, shooting his mother a small wave.

She smiled and waved, making me open the door and step outside. Zach followed closely behind, closing the door behind him.

"You wanna kiss her, too?" He deadpanned.

"Shut up," I chuckled out, unlocking my car.

He grinned and leaned against it, looking over at me.

"Next time, you have to initiate the kiss," he said, "just saying."

I grabbed his face and pressed a kiss to his lips, slipping my tongue in his mouth. I pulled away after a few seconds, grinning. "Like that?"

He clenched his jaw, smiling. "Y-yeah. Like that."

"I made you stutter."

"First and last time," he said.

I opened my door, looking back at him. "I'll see you."

"Yeah," he said, nodding.

I got in my car, leaning my head back against my seat with a smile. Fuck.

~*~

"Hey!" I yelled, running across the football field as I waved at Veronica.

I finally caught her attention, making me wave bigger. She pulled out her headphones, smiling. "Hey, Josie."

"Hey," I said, resting my arms on the fence, "I thought you guys only did this on Monday afternoons?"

"Well, we started doing one more day, because the campus seems to get dirtier and dirtier with each day."

I bit down on my lip, looking down at her trash filled bag. "Oh."

She smiled. "You know, I've definitely always envied you for your cheer abilities."

"What?" I asked, giggling, "no way. There's no reason to envy me."

She smiled. "Is practice over?"

"Yeah, actually, it just ended," I said, raking my fingers through my baby hairs falling out of my ponytail.

"Cool," she said, "well-"

"Hey," I cut her off, "u-uh, do you guys need another addition? I'd love to help."

I don't really think that's the case... I just think you're working towards being better. But definitely keep on convincing yourself, Jo.

"You'd love to help pick up trash?"

I shrugged, smiling. "Sure."

She smiled, nodding. "Yeah. Come on, we can always use another addition."

I jumped the fence, making her laugh. "Impressive."

"I did track for freshman year. Hurdles were kinda my thing."

She shook her head. "Your entire family has athletic ability out of this world. Definitely jealous."

I smiled, resting my hands on my hips. "So, what can I help do? Do you have another one of those picker-uppers?"

She laughed. "Yes. It's over here. Put on some gloves, grab a bag, and a picker-upper."

I giggled and jogged over to the bench, tightening my ponytail. I pulled my cheer skirt down a bit, making sure I looked even halfway presentable. I grabbed all of the things she told me to, running over to her.

"Okay, tell me what to do."

"Any trash you see, just grab it and throw it in your bag."

"Okay," I said, putting on my gloves. I began picking up trash, frowning at all of it scattered about.

"People really suck, huh?" I asked, looking back at her.

"Yes, definitely high school kids with no regard for the earth's well being."

I frowned, shaking my head. "Well, look at us. Making it better with each second."

She smiled. "Listen, I don't mean to be that way, but this is a little out of character for you."

I looked over at her, brushing my hair away from my face. "Y-yeah. Well, I'm just trying to, you know, be a little better. Reduce my carbon footprint, is that a term?"

"Yes," she said, smiling over at me, "and I respect that. Greatly."

I nodded, biting down on my lip.

I spotted Eros, making my eyes instantly light up. I shot him a smile and a wave, earning a confused smile from him.

I jogged over to him, the fence separating us. "Hi."

"Hi?" He chuckled out, his eyebrows knitted together.

"What?" I asked.

"You're picking up trash."

"Oh, yeah," I said, resting a hand on my hip, "Veronica runs a little group and I asked if they needed help."

"You're picking up trash," he said, a smile crossing his face.

I bit down on my lip. "Yeah."

He still looked confused, but more proud than confused.

"Not bad, King," he said, smiling.

I blew a strand of hair away from my face, my eyes locked on his. "I just, you know, I wanna be better for you."

The smile on his face seemingly was there to stay. He dropped his head, raising his eyebrows.

"And you, you kinda deserve a girl like her," I said, pointing back at Veronica, "so-"

He looked up, tilting his head over. He took a step towards the fence, making me do the same.

"You're perfect, Jo," he said, "and if this fence wasn't between us, I'd kiss you right now."

I smiled, biting down on my lip.

"Not bad," he said, resting his hands on his hips as he backed away, "not bad at all."

I smiled, watching as he began to walk away. He shot me one last glance, still smiling.

"Love you," I softly said, waving.

"Love you," he said, running off.

I smiled, doing a little happy dance before I began to pick up trash again.

~*~

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