"Look."

I looked up from my paper, seeing Hero sitting on the edge of my table.

"My soccer reel just got posted," he boasted, smiling down at me, "and yours should be up today."

He held out his phone, making me grab it and press play. My mind was most certainly not on Hero's soccer reel, though.

"That goal's going down in history, mark my words," he proudly said, chewing on his bottom lip.

The video ended after a few more minutes of me spacing out, making me plaster on a smile and look up at him. "Looks sick, dude."

"Right?" He asked, slipping his phone into his pocket, "yours is gonna be amazing, I already know it."

I smiled an uncomfortable smile, looking at the door.

"Waiting on Cordelia's smart ass to walk in here?" He deadpanned.

I shook my head.

"Oh, Zach. Never mind. I'm sorry you're stuck with him, man."

I leaned back in my chair and raked my hands through my hair, closing my eyes. "Yeah."

He patted my shoulder, smiling down at me. "Soldier through it."

When I opened my eyes, I saw Zach standing in the doorway, waiting to get in. My eyes went wide and I sat upright, awkwardly placing my chin in my hand.

What the fuck are you doing?

I leaned back in my seat, chewing on my bottom lip. Everything would be awkward, I thought.

"Finished the packet," Zach said, dropping it on the table as soon as he made it to me.

I looked up at him, folding my arms over my chest.

"It really wasn't that bad," he said, "like, five questions I had to redo."

I nodded, watching as he shrugged out of his backpack and jacket. I widened my eyes and looked away from him, letting out a breath.

"It's hot in here," I said, looking back at Mrs. Thompson.

"It's got to be, sorry," she said, "can't have it below a certain number."

I leaned my head back, flexing my jaw.

Zach looked over at me as he placed his books on the table, trailing his eyes halfway down me before darting them back up to my eyes.

Henry King doesn't get nervous.

"Fun news, guys," Mrs. Thompson said, "we're absorbing the other science class today. Fun little project, if you will. And you guys can switch partners today, and only today."

Josie was in the other science class, which made me frown. The whole class piled into the room, making Josie sprint over to Hero.

"I call Hero!" She yelled, sitting on the edge of his table.

"Hi, babe."

I looked up at the voice, lifting an eyebrow at the girl standing at our table.

"Hey," Zach greeted, standing up to press a quick kiss to her lips.

My jaw seemed to unhinge- Zach had a girlfriend?

"Can I sit here?" She asked, smiling down at me.

"Y-yeah," I said, standing up quickly, "for sure."

I looked down at him as I gathered my books, making him sigh and look up at me.

I smiled a defeated smile, walking over to Hero and Josie's table. "Hey."

"Hey," Josie quickly greeted, looking up at me.

"I'm with Hero," I said, my jaw taut.

She leaned back on her palms. "I already called him."

"Ladies, ladies," Hero said, standing up with a grin, but was cut off by Mrs. Thompson.

"Hero, why don't you be my assistant?" Mrs. Thompson asked, tilting her head over.

"Sounds like a perfect job for Josephine."

Josie scoffed, looking up at him. "You're rude. I wanted to spend some cousin time together."

"Hero," Mrs. Thompson said, nodding.

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Whatever."

Josie looked up at me, lifting an eyebrow. "Hey, partner."

"Get tubes, okay?" Mrs. Thompson yelled, making me walk to the back table to grab a few.

"Hey," Zach greeted, his hand wrapped around my forearm.

"Really, don't-"

"Meet me after class," he said, looking at me.

I looked over at him, ripping my arm away from his grip before walking away.

~*~

"You know, this kind of looks suspicious. Like a drug deal."

I stepped out of my car, seeing Zach leaned against his.

"Didn't think you'd want to tarnish your rep in front of the guys," he said, folding his arms over his chest.

"Or you just didn't want your girlfriend to see?" I grinned, leaning against my door.

"That was petty," he muttered, looking away from me.

"Listen, I don't know what happened the other day," I said, "but I didn't look at other people like that when I had a girlfriend."

"So you're a better boyfriend than me, glad we've gotten that out of the way."

I shook my head, chuckling. "Whatever, Zach-"

"Wait," he firmly said, before I could get back in my car.

"What?" I asked, looking back at him.

He sighed, looking down at the ground. "I'm sorry."

"For what?" I asked, closing my door.

"For that," he said, "I know it was confusing. You could've punched me in the fucking face."

"Well, it feels like that's what you did to me," I said, nodding, "Zach, I don't know what the fuck that was. I haven't been able to look at myself for the past few days, because I don't even know me anymore."

"Yeah, I know," he said, "it's confusing."

"To say the fucking least."

"Listen, I know," he said, "I know I'm... bi. You know."

I narrowed my eyes.

"You hadn't ever seen a guy and thought it looked appealing before then," he said, "so I know it's a lot for you."

"Who said you looked appealing?" I snapped.

"The way you looked at me," he retorted.

"I-I-you did it first," I stuttered, my eyebrows in an angry furrow as I looked away from him.

"I didn't mean to make you question, or make things difficult for you," he said, "that was not my intention."

"Well, you did," I said.

"And my girlfriend," he trailed off, shaking his head.

"Yeah, you can spare me those details."

"I'm just saying," he said, "I still don't even know how... into that I am."

"Well, you should figure it out," I said, opening my door, "you're probably confusing her."

"Henry, wait," he said, "please."

"I don't want to be your experiment," I said, turning around to face him.

"You're not an experiment," he said.

"Don't hurt her, man," I said, shaking my head.

He bit down on his lip and slipped his hands in his pockets, dropping his head. "Yeah."

"Figure it out," I said.

"Okay, I'm not the only person that has to figure shit out," he said, "I don't even think you know-"

"I'm not really up to have this conversation," I muttered, getting in my car.

"We're having it," he said, "I just opened an entire new door for you. No, you're not going to know exactly. Not right now at least."

"I can handle it," I said, driving away.

~*~

I watched the guys practice with a sense of jealousy.

I knew that the reason I wasn't practicing with them was my fault, but that didn't make it suck any less.

I folded my arms over my chest, letting out a sigh. "They're looking good."

Coach blew his whistle, nodding. "Yeah. I need you out there, though."

"I know," I said, dropping my head.

"And you've gotten scrawny as hell," he said, looking over at me.

I looked over at him, chewing on my bottom lip. "Y-yeah. I've definitely cut down some."

"A lot," he said, "get water, boys."

I watched everyone grab their water bottles, earning a smile from Eros. "Hey, champ."

"Hey," I greeted.

"Better pack on some muscle before the wind tackles you, King," Coach said, roughly patting my shoulder.

Everyone except Eros chimed in and laughed, making me fake chuckle and nod.

"Come on, ladies," Coach yelled, "back on the field."

"Don't let him get to you," Eros said, looking up at me as he threw his water bottle back in his bag, "he's just jealous he doesn't look like that anymore."

I smiled and watched as he ran off, looking over at Coach as he stood next to me.

"When that arm of yours heals up, I want you to lift heavy," he said, "eat in a surplus. I need you to be solid, Hero."

"Yes, sir," I muttered, clenching my jaw.

"Think you can do that for me?" He asked, trailing his eyes down my entire body.

"Yeah," I said, looking away from him.

"Good," he said, patting my back, "atta boy."

"I'm gonna head out," I said, nodding over at him.

"Yeah, we're almost finished," he said, "hey."

I grabbed my bag and sighed, looking back at him.

"I'm not kidding, Hero," he said, "chow down."

I gulped, nodding. I walked to my car and opened my door, slipping inside.

I sat in silence for a few seconds, leaning my head back against my seat. I closed my eyes and gripped the steering wheel, my jaw taut.

"Fuck!" I yelled, slamming my hands against the wheel in a sudden burst of anger.

I felt tears cloud my eyes, making me quickly wipe them away.

"Fuck," I whispered, raking my hands through my hair.

I realized that nothing I could do was anywhere near good enough. Even if I was doing exactly as he was telling me to do, I still wasn't good enough.

I pulled my leg up to my chest, leaning my head against it as I tried to curb the anxiety I was feeling.

"Breathe," I whispered to myself, "breathe!"

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel again, feeling tears pricking at my eyes. I leaned my head back and blinked, feeling a tear roll down my cheek.

I wiped it away and opened my visor, flipping open the mirror. I rubbed my eyes and sniffled, letting out a shaky breath.

"Just not good enough," I muttered, slamming my mirror shut before turning on my car and driving away.

~*~

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