I walked around the venue speaking to different people. It felt crazy that I was celebrating my little man. I walked over to my boys who were standing in a corner talking. I shook up with each of them before realizing Jordan wasn't with them.

"Where Jay?"

"He on his way" Cole shrugged

"Bet" I nodded

"Let me holla at you though" Cole nodded towards outside

I nodded before we headed outside. The minute we got outside he shook his head sighing.

"How you been bruh?"

"I'm straight"

"Jordan told me what happen with Essence"

I sighed shaking my head.

"Why you ain't tell me?"

"Didn't want to talk about it... just now really accepting that it's over for real" I shrugged "I'm tryna getting over it still so"

"Have you seen her? Talk to her?"

"She asked me not to so I don't"

"Damn" he shook his head "You really letting her go..."

"I don't have a choice"

"If y'all really love each other, there's always a possibility"

"Don't work that way man. She might love me... but she doesn't want to" I sighed "Look I can't do this right now. I'm supposed to be happy celebrating my baby boy man"

"But you not happy yo" he shrugged "All the energy around you is off. I just want you to realize that and fix the problem"

"I can't!"

I shook my head turning away from him only to come face to face with Jordan and Gianni. My mouth dropped as they walked up to us. They shook up with Cole before Jordan shook up with me. I looked at Gianni waiting for her to make a move first. She just looked at me with an uncomfortable expression.

"What's good G baby" I extended my fist

"Hey Rao" she fist bump me "Congrats"

"Preciate it"

Jordan and Cole headed inside leaving us outside. I hadn't seen Kira or Gianni since my break up and it made me think about Essence. I sighed feeling myself break.

"How she been?" I asked

"Not great" she shrugged "Always shutting down, not trying to talk... just different"

"It was never supposed to be like this G" I took a deep breath "I called off the bet and let it all go so this wouldn't happen"

"You did?"

"Yeah... before Christmas"

"Damn... I thought that's why she was so messed up. Because you took her virginity. I didn't know you nev—"

"I did what?" I froze hearing those words

"You didn't know?"

"We never talked about it"

"Yeah... Ess never, you know" she sighed "But maybe she'll calm down since y'all didn't"

I stayed silent staring off thinking. How could I not have known Essence was a virgin? I mean she was tight as fuck but she never bled or no shit. What the fuck was all I could think. It definitely made since why she was so mad even after I told her the bet was ended.

I finally focused back in to see Gianni had gone inside. I followed behind her and headed to the chair they designated for me near the gifts. I knew I should've said shit to Gianni. It only led to my mind only thinking about Essence.

I shook the thoughts by the time it was time to open the gifts. I took pictures of Harmony and the gifts as we open and thanked people. After the gifts we stood up to thank everyone.

"Thank y'all so much for coming! We really appreciate all the gifts and love for our little man!" She beamed "Baby Kai just doesn't know how much love and support he has coming his way come June! I also want to thank his amazing father, Pharaoh, for always being there and supporting us as much as he can"

I hugged her and took the mic.

"Thank you everyone and Harmony. I haven't really been feeling up for much but my baby boy always makes it better. I can't wait to meet my son. So before we go, let make a toast" I lifted my glass of sparkling juice as did everyone else "To my little man, Kaiser Royal Montague!"

Everyone cheered before they started coming up to say goodbye. The guys and King help me pack up all the gifts. Once everyone was gone, I cleaned up the venue pretty much alone.

Essence snuck back into my mind as I cleaned. Memories of our talks about the baby flashed through my mind. I got to the point where I didn't cry about Essence anymore but it still hurt. Overall though, I just wanted her to be happy.

I sat in Kira's chair laughing about the guys who had been trying to holler at her. In the last month, Kira had been there more than anyone, even Gianni. I wasn't at the point of being over Pharaoh, but I was done being miserable about the situation.

"Have you talk to G?" I asked as she crossed my mind

"We texted yesterday but I haven't actually seen her since last week"

"I don't think I saw her then" I shook my head "Now I gotta bussup-wassup on her ass" we laughed "She know I get worried"

"We all be worried about you though so cut her some slack"

"I know" I sighed "I feel like I've been a bad everything. Friend, sister, cousin, daughter... but I'm done sulking and crying over the situation. I'm not going to let it break me down anymore than it already has"

"Okay honey" she smiled "I'm here for it but what sparked the epiphany?"

"Honestly? It was Heiress"

"Girl I need more than that"

I laughed "So a couple weeks back I guess Pharaoh went ahead and told them we broke up so I hadn't seen Heiress for all of March. Her birthday is April 10th so I hit her up and said happy birthday. She pulled up on my ass on her birthday and wanted to talk"

"About what?"

"Well first it was sorry for ghosting but she felt bad that me and him broke up. I was like water under the bridge because I wasn't in the best space either but I told her she could still come talk to me and kick it when she needs" I sighed "Literally three days later I broke down about it again and she popped up mid breakdown. She basically just told me all the stuff I had been telling her"

"I'm buying Heiress lunch"

I laughed "It's hard to stay in a funky mood and dwell on some bullshit when you constantly tell other people not to. I guess I just started reflecting on my own words"

"Well I am proud of you honey" she hugged me "I know you thought you were being dramatic but break ups heart and push you there. I know mine did. You needed time but that time is officially over"

She turned me around and showed me my hair in the full length mirror. It was just a ponytail with a bang but I hadn't done anything to my hair in the month I've been "depressed" so it was like having me back. I smiled before letting her do my make up as well. We were just going out to dinner and hang out with Mazikin but I wanted to have fun and be happy again so I was going all out.

Once my make up was done, Kira convinced me to take a picture in the just my bodysuit in front of her black wall. I laughed at the idea but decided to give it a go. We both took pictures in her "photo booth" (room designated for photos) before I finished getting dressed and we headed out.

When we got in the car I decided to open Instagram for the first time since days before the break up. Somehow I instantly regretted it once my post was done and I saw my timeline.

Back Like I Never Left

😍

That's how you stunt on an ex

Slayin 🔥🔥🔥

...

Boujee But Fxck Like Im Ghetto 😜

Damn 🤤

🔥 Bestie On Necks All Year!

Mazi 😤 Chill

...

When the hormones got her being nice for once 😂 #BabyShower #BabyKai

Fuck you 😝😂

Cute

Tea please 👀

Petty 🙃😂

...

Waiting on my godson 💙 Congratulations my bro @PharaohDa1st

💙

@PharaohDa1st 😮

Congrats @PharaohDa1st

...

Congratulations 💙

Thanks G-baby 💙

Damn 😮

Bestie Slayin 💙

Crazy 👀

Ain't that... Oooh 🐸☕️

Thanks for coming 😊

...

I froze seeing the last post. I couldn't believe my eyes. I tapped Kira and told her to go to Gianni's house instead. My blood boiled the e

The entire drive as I thought about how distance she been for the last two weeks. When we pulled up, I jumped out with Kira behind me as I headed upstairs. Kira kept asking what's wrong but I just handed her my phone before knocking on the door.

Before she could even react, the door was open and there stood Jordan. He looked shocked to see me but it only pissed me off more. I pushed passed him and stood there trying to collect myself before I spoke.

"Babe who was---" Gianni cut herself off as she came out of the kitchen to see me and Kira "Ess"

"So this what you been doing? This why you all of a sudden stand offish and don't want to kick it? You back with him?

"Essence just let me explain!"

"Explain what?" I raised my voice "Explain how you back with the nigga who was ride or die for my set up? Explain how you buddy buddy with the nigga that did me foul?"

"What they did was wrong! But Jordan wasn't a part of it!"

"But he knew! Right?!" I turn to Jordan "Did you or did you not know?"

"I did bu--"

"Fuck you Gianni!" I screamed as tears fell "You supposed to be my best fucking friend but you can't even stick by me over some dick?! I've cut off plenty of people for you! No questions fucking asked but it's fuck me and my feelings when somebody do me grimy! Then you don't even give a fuck enough to hide it! This nigga at yo house! You posting on IG like shit just sweet!"

"It's not like that!" she screamed back "I always got your back! You not gone act like I don't! No matter what I ride for you!"

"This is fucking riding now?!"

"Ess" Kira pulled me back "Calm---"

"You always blow shit out of proportion! I'm supposed to throw away my relationship that I've been in for almost a year because you mad at your nigga for being foul?! How is that fair?! And you being dramatic about it! You didn't even fuck him! Why does it matter that much?! Guys fuck up! It happens! You move on and get over it! You been sulking for a fucking month and a half!"

"Gianni shut up!" Kira yelled "You know---"

"Nahh Kira" I shook my head and wiped my tears "She's good! This relationship means more than our five years of friendship then fine! You just like everybody else. Fuck Essence right?"

"Ess---"

"You don't ever half to worry about loyalty to me again Gianni. You can have him and everything else that comes with him. Him, Pharaoh, Yoni, all of em. I hope all of yall have an amazing happy existence together" I walked to the door but stopped before leaving "But if it doesn't work out like most don't... don't come looking for me to pick up the pieces. Don't ask for our friendship. It could never be the same. Just consider me dead to you"

I walked out of the apartment with Kira behind me. When we got to the car, I told her to just forget about what happen so we could have a good night. We headed to the restaurant we were meeting my cousin and sisters. We touched up my make up before going in and proceeded to have fun. Once again I was hurt, but this time the pain was numb. I didn't feel the need to cry about it. It was just how things went. Nothing good last forever and Gianni's friendship ran it's course as well. No point in dwelling on the past.