The question I have been asking God for the last two week is "why?". Things would just be chill if Essence and Harmony would never run into each other, but nooooo that would be too easy on me. Ain't black people supposed to get along for Black History Month?!

Now, I haven't talk to Essence in almost a week and every other day Harmony is trying to hang out or go eat or anything that requires me to be with her. But since Essence has been ignoring me I've been at home and can't really say no. It was like she was making the situation way more than what it was. And not talking to Essence was killing me.

Prime example being today. Here I am headed to Harmony's house to go baby shopping, which she begged me to do. We haven't even talked about key details when it comes to co-parenting but she want to go shopping? Like why! Everyone just keep telling me to talk to her and set boundaries but they don't have to deal with the angry or crying pregnant lady, I do! Pulling up to her house, I let out a frustrated sigh sending her a text and getting out to open her door.

She came outside all happy with Destiny right behind her and Lucca following all in his phone. I laughed knowing he probably came over to get some ass and got sucked into shopping with her too. I closed the door for Harmony once she was in the car and shook up with Lucca. We all got in my car and headed to the outlet with only Destiny and Harmony talking. After twenty minutes we pulled up and all headed inside.

"Pharaoh let's go into Babyland" Harmony pulled me

I nodded and started walking. She interlocked her hand with mine and smiled at me before we walked inside. I waited a minute for her to look around before removed my hand and I said anything.

"Harm can we talk?"

"What's up"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" she giggled "Why?"

"I mean I don't want you to take this the wrong way but you always want to hang out. Like we didn't kick it this much when we was fucking. What's up with that?"

"Wow" she looked shocked "I just wanted to hang out with you and spend some time together. I mean you hang out with your other friends don't you"

"Yes---"

"Then what's the issue hanging out with me"

"I didn't say it was an issue" I sighed "I don't mind us shopping together and you know I'll always buy yall come food... it's just the hand holding and cuddling up...."

"Oh" she rolled her eyes "I should've known this was what it was about"

"What you mean?"

"You can tell your little girlfriend it aint that fucking deep! I'm an affectionate person! I just do that! We having a baby together Pharaoh! I shouldn't have to explain why I want to be near you! Shit sometimes I don't know why my damn self! But the minute she got a problem you coming at me!"

"I didn't---"

"You didn't have to say shit! Every time I see you with her and try to talk to you, she starts acting like a possessive bitch to me, and you just sit there and let her"

"That's not---"

"The UC! Your house!"

I paused thinking about the second time Harmony and Essence saw each other.

"Rao come on! I'm waiting at the car!" Essence yelled from the front door

I shook my head and grabbed my wallet before heading out. We were headed to this adult arcade place to hang out. When I got outside I froze for a second seeing Essence and Harmony going back and forth. I shook my head walking up, pulling Essence back some.

"Chill yall. What's the problem?"

"You need to keep you bitches in check!" Harmony got loud "I asked a simple fucking question so I could talk to you about OUR son!"

"I got yo bitch" Essence pushed me "I aint gone fight no pregnant hoe but I'll slap the fuck out you"

"Ess chill! Go get in the car" I handed her my eyes "Go!"

"Lollipop head ass hoe! Got a baybeh inna and thak she tuff! I smack all hoes sus"

Essence kept talking with her New Orleans accent heavy as she walked off. I sighed and just looked at Harmony for a second.

"Why you have to come over here doing all that" I sighed "I get you don't like Essence for the UC thing but you aint gotta call her out her name"

"But she can call me a hoe?!"

"No! But I'm not talking to her right now! I'm talking to you!"

"All I fucking asked was where you were! I'm going home in two weeks and my mom wants to meet yo fuck ass but fuck it! I don't need this shit! Keep you bitch! Me and my baby good!"

"Chill on that shit Harm! You could've called me about that!"

"Destiny came to see Lucca so I was already coming here to get her!"

"Look! I'm gone check Essence ass too but you need to chill on disrespecting her or any of my friends just because you want to talk. I get it. You pregnant. But it aint a fucking excuse to talk any kind of way at people"

"Fuck you Pharaoh!"

She walked passed me and headed into my house slamming the door. I shook my head before getting in the car with Essence.

"What the fuck was that?" I asked

"She rolled up talking out the side of her neck. She asked where you were and I said it's hello. She decided she was Betty bad ass and was gone call me a bitch among other things before you even got outside. All I said was she got a lot of animosity and static for a pregnant jump off"

"Ess you know that's disrespectful as fuck!" I started the car "Regardless of anything she's my baby mama and you can't just talk to her crazy like that"

"I can do and say whatever the fuck I want to whoever the fuck I want"

"Ess---"

"You know what" she shook her head chuckling "take me the fuck home Pharaoh"

"What? No! We--"

"Nahh take me home" she started shaking her leg "My mood fuck up and I aint about to do this with you. That's your baby mom. Cool. I won't speak to the hoe again. I'm not about to do this with you or her. She pressed about you when you not her nigga or mine. I'm not doing it. Take me home"

I shook my head knowing she was serious before pulling off and taking her home. Essence got out without a kiss or any words. She just closed the door and left. I was mad at both of them and frustrated at the situation so I didn't even bother going after her. I sent her a text saying hit me up when she lose her attitude before heading home. When I got there Harmony was still there. She actually apologized and agreed to chill. I apologized to for making her upset. We ended up ordering food and talking about me meeting her family soon.

"Harmony you were being rude and disrespectful to her both times!" I sighed "This aint even about Essence!"

"Then what is the fucking problem?"

"You trying to blur the lines of what this is! We supposed to be figuring out how this co-parenting gone work and you busy trying to kick"

"Is it really that bad being around me?" her eyes watered and her lip quivered "Am I that bad?"

"Harm---"

She started crying and walked into a the "pregnant potty" in the back of the store. I followed behind her and knocked on the door. She didn't speak but I could hear her crying.

"Harmony please come out. I just want to talk about the situation. It seem like we kick it but we don't talk about the important stuff. I'm still suppose to meet your people tomorrow, we gotta set up you meeting my people, like it's so much shit to do. I'm not trying to just kick it like we friends when we got busy to handle" I sighed taking a pause "I really wasn't trying to hurt you. I promise it wasn't about anybody else. I just wanted to talk about the important thing.... I want to make sure we don't cross any boundaries that could get us hurt while we doing all this"

She open the door wiping her eyes. I couldn't help but pull her into a hug now wanting her to cry anymore. I let her go once she seemed calmed then we went back to shopping in silence. I bought our stuff then we headed to the food court to eat.

Once we got our food and sat down she just looked at me. I waited for her to speak up but she didn't so I ignored her gaze and continued eating.

"Pharaoh... I'm sorry"

"Don't be"

"No I am. I want to give Royal the family he deserves. I guess I hoping that maybe you'd give us a try. You know I've always wanted to give us a try"

"I get that"

"I mean I don't want to be worried about my baby boy bouncing between our places or us both getting equal time with him"

"I mean I've thought about that too..."

"So what should we do?"

"My lease up in May... I'm getting a place alone so I mean when you have him y'all can stay with me"

"Until when?"

"I don't know"

"We have to figure this out Rao" she sighed "If you move in somewhere in May we'll only have a month to get his room ready"

"I know"

"And if I live with you we gone have to set some rules when it comes to your 'friends' because I won't be disrespected in my house"

"Why you even gotta do that?"

"I'm being honest"

"Just so you know, I checked her the same way I checked you. And you right. I'm not letting anyone disrespect you as the mother of my child. But respect is earned not given"

"Fine" she rolled her eyes "Well what about your family? You finna meet mine but I don't even know if you told your"

"I did" I sighed "They wasn't thrilled but they supportive. My mom is crazy overprotective sometimes so we gotta ease into that. You said you wanted a baby shower in April so will do introduction by March"

We were both silent for a minute before she sighed.

"What do you want Pharaoh? Honestly. You talk about us moving in together and you talk about our little family but then you don't want to be with me"

"I just don't want to be together because we got a baby. That's not gone work out in the long run"

"But we've been doing us for almost a year. Way before the baby. You always said you just wasn't ready for a relationship"

"I wasn't"

"What about now?"

"I don't know man" I sighed

"I'm not begging you or trying to force you but you know I have feelings for you... and I just want Ro to have the family you grew up with. I always see you post about you parents and siblings... me and Des ain't got that. My mom and aunt raised us because my dad dipped on her to marry another chick" she wiped a tear "I'm not trying to have my baby grow up asking the questions I did and never getting an answer that made sense"

"Harmony you don't have to worry about that because regardless of what's going on with us I'm going to be here for him and you" I grabbed her hand "I'm not saying I'm not thinking about giving us a try. But I want it to be more than just because of the baby"

"Pharaoh if you don't have feelings for me just say it. Don't get my hopes up"

"I can't say that I don't though" I spoke honestly "I guess I just never saw us being in a relationship. We've always be friends. I don't want a relationship to ruin our friendship or effect our ability to parent him"

"That's something you have to decide then. You contradicting yourself. Just think about it. If you don't have feelings for me fine... but if you do why not give us a try?"

Before I could respond she got up and walked away. I sat there just thinking about our conversation. I did like Harmony. She was cool and sweet. We never really got pass fuck buddies because I didn't want to. Maybe she was right then... maybe I should give us a try. I sighed more confused than ever.

I needed to talk to somebody... and for the first time it definitely couldn't be Essence.