《Chubs | KSJ》Bloops and Bleeps
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"B*tch, who cares, it's HOT COCO!" Jungkook snorts, downing the coco in one gulp and unsurprisingly immediately regretting it as the hot substance scorches his throat.
"Yup only the best!" Momo sarcastically laughs, repeatedly stabbing the paper with her pencil out of frustration of repeatedly messing up her drawing. Taehyung looks at her, concerned.
"Too much?" Momo asks innocently
"a bit." He nods, slightly disturbed. "this is a RomCom, not an angst."
"I don't know" Momo murmurs "With Jungkook, it could be."
"Will do cockatoo"Momo calls with a smile
"You bet your beret!"Momo winks.
"Sure can tucan!"Momo sends a kiss
"I'd really like to cook you alive" Jungkook sassily replies. Momo grits her teeth, staring daggers at Jungkook. She reaches out her hands, "pretending" to choke Jungkook with an evil smirk, living out her darkest dream. To kill Jungkook.
Jungkook coughs, pushing her hands off of him in a panic. Once he manages to pry her fingers off him, he stares wide-eyed at the director who did nothing to stop Momo. "She was actually choking me!!" He yells at them, only earning a small shrug.
"Oh no." Momo says monotonously, placing a sarcastic hand to her mouth "did I hurt you?My bad"
"Excuse me.." Jin hesitantly interrupts.
Momo goes wide eyed, looking up to face the handsome customer.
"Sorry," Jin continues even though momo missed her line "I was just wondering if you guys had any more peach milk? I couldn't find any,..." He trails off, eying the stiff as a board Momo. His brows furrow as he observes her "are you... okay?" he whispers, genuinely concerned for her well being.
Momo scrunches her face in a look of pain "nneeeahhh!" She grunts, pushing out her double chin "adfjsdh I just- youre really asd;fj;sd is dfyoure so hot!" She sputters at Jin like a possessed dolphin, causing him and Jungkook to burst into laughter and the Director to shake his head in disapproval.
"Momo, stop it! We're never going to get this episode done if you keep doing this!" He whines at her with a chuckle.
"Excuse me..." Jin calls, slowly approaching Momo's hidden face.
Momo turns, her face in a tight smirk, wild eyes, nostrils flared and double chin "yeeeshhhhh handsome boooyyyahh?" she says seductively.
"MOMO!" The director berates, making Momo scream in laughter and run off the set to hid from her punishment.
Momo smiles as she watches Jin leave from the convenience store. She turns back to Namjoon and jumps from the shock and pure horror of the sight she saw.
The camera zooms into him, his chin down as he wiggles his brows, just like in the script." You want to have his bebies?" He asks her, repeatedly sticking his tongue out.
Momo scowls "EEEEEEWWWWWWWWW!!!!! " she pushes his forehead, causing him to fall back out of his chair with a perverted smirk.
"Go on hyung" Jungkook nudges Namjoon. Namjoon smiles, looking between him and Momo. " Did you know-" He stops, looking off into the air "wait-" He slunches, looking around "what was my line again?" he asks for the 7th time
"OH FOR F*CKING CHRIST'S SAKE- PLEASE LET ME RIP HIS THROAT OUT OF HIS NECK! AT THIS RATE WE'LL NEVER GET TO MY SCENES!!" Yoongi yells at him from behind the camera, ready to kill the idiot and take him to h*ll.
"Hmm..." Jin nods "you should call me oppa anyways" he says to Momo, waving the Kimbap at her.
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"What?" Momo scrunches up her nose "No-"
From behind her Namjoon rolls in, laying on a skateboard seductively, his voluptuous curves accentuated by his experienced positioning "I'll call you Oppa" he whispers to Jin with a deep lip bite.
Jin winks at him excitedly, pushing Momo to the side to run to Namjoon who welcomes him with open arms.
Momo watches, surprisingly unsurprised. She shrugs "I ship it." she says in acceptance
Momo ignores Jungkook, continuing to look out the window for Jin."thats great kooki, would you mind clocking me in? I forgot" she says, not bothering to look at him.
Jungkook suddenly stands and slams his hands on the table, making Momo jump and turn around "PAY ATTENTION TO ME WAHWAN!!!" His abrupt movement sending his chair to fall over with a loud clunk.
"Let's just kick him out of the drama." Yoongi offers as an idea to the group, after waiting 3 hours for Taehyung to get to the set.
Jimin turns to Yoongi, triggered that he would suggest something so cruel about his baby boy "Why are you even here? You aren't even in these scenes, I thought you hating being around us" Jimin snarks, exposing Yoongi for uwu culture he actually is.
Yoongi glares at the small boy, pressing his lips together. "Hoseok, go get my knife."
Hinyeon storms over to Momo and Jin "MOMO!" he yells.
Jin readys his fists like a boxer as Hinyeong walks over. He jumps back and forth on his feet, as light as a feather, pretending to punch him.
"Fight me." He says to Hinyeong then makes little swish noises as he continues to fake punch.
He stops for a second, dramatically flicking his head back to look at Momo "I'll protect you me'lady" he says with a wink then going back to the one-sided fight.
Momo looks at him with disgust, shoving him to the side and making him crash into the chairs, sending them squeaking across the floor.
"NO WAY! OH MY GOD!" V shouts, standing up from the cafeteria table, holding his hands in fists next to his face as he gushes over the story Momo just told him.
"YOU LAID ON THE FLOOR AND GIGGLED!!??? OMG!! YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH A CUSTOMER YOU JUST MET AT WORK?!!! OMG A TRUE LOVE STORY! WHO'S NEXT? A MAILMAN WHO TOUCHES YOUR HAND WHILE DELIVERING YOUR OVERDUE ELECTRIC BILLS AND WHEN YOU LOOK INTO HIS EYES ALL TIME STOPS AND YOU INSTANTLY FALL IN LOVE?" He says in mockery.
"OMG-GET MARRIED!" He swishes his body back and forth.
"Excuse me-" she says, looking over to the director "I do not appreciate this, this is getting personal." she sighs, remembering all the bills she still needed to pay and her painfully money-less pockets.
Momo gets onto the bus, acting tired and sluggish. She sits down with a sigh, pretending to force herself awake.
Through her window Jin pops up from outside the bus, casually staring at her with a uwu smile.
"again" The director calls through the mega-phone.
"What? Why?" Momo asks, confused and unaware of Jin. The director points and the camera zooms in on Jin's face as Momo turns to look. He wiggles his eyebrows at her, sending a wink and an innocent kiss to her.
Momo only glares, slowly putting her middle finger up to him.
"Wait" Jimin looks between Momo and Jin, pretending to have just met her for the first time. "THAT Momo?" He asks Jin who lightly nods. He looks back to Momo with repulsion "THHHIIIIIS is Momo?" He scoffs looking at the paint covered pants "I THOUGHT SHE WAS A CONSTRUCTION WORKER!" he smirks, trying to keep back his laugh.
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Momo glares, contemplating kicking him in the babies.
"THHIIIIISS is Momo?" Jimin asks, scoffing "SHE'S AS BIG AS A TRUCK!"
Momo clenches her jaw, staring back "Beep beep mother fricker" she spits, pushing Jimin hard and making him fall back into a fit of laughter.
A wild Namjoon appears at the horizon, running up to meet the gang for chicken. As he runs he stumbles over the sidewalk, stopping a moment to look back at the cursed concrete with a spiteful glare and then continuing on to run to his friends.
He stops in front of them out of breath, placing his hands on his knees. The gang stares, waiting for him to say his line. He looks around at them, suddenly aware he was supposed to say something.
He opens his mouth.
Then closes it, standing back up.
"I forgot it." he turns and runs back in shame to the horizon.
Jungkook rolls his eyes, pretending to stab them out with fingers.
Namjoon does the scene again, running up to the gang but this time, even more out of breath. Like a fish out of water who's lost his will to live.
"Hey-" Gasp "Guys" gasp. He breaths, brows furrowed as he slowly dies, crying out to the sky for help.
"Finally someone smart!" Jungkook says his line.
Namjoon wheezes, still not recovered from running. He looks up at the director "What was the line?" he asks
The cast sighs in loud frustration, turning back to go to the beginning of the scene, yet again.
"A freaking goat is more competent than this fool." Taehyung spits under his breath.
"YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF FRICKS!" Momo yells, walking into the set, glaring at her friends.
Yoongi smiles at her, passing by to go sleep on the couch "Thank you." he says sweetly.
Tae looks around the theme park frantically looking around for his friends " guys!!" He yells in desperation "GUUUYYYYSSSS!!!!!!!" he falls to the floor, crying out in pain and fear.
"It's okay Taehyung!! Don't worry, we're here!!!" Hobi yells, running out into the set to the 'crying' boy. He collapses on top of Tae in a hug, the two giggling as they struggle to stand.
"Let me join in!!" Jimin yells, running in to join. Hobi welcomes him into the hug. "It's okay baby Tae Tae, we're here now!!" Jimin speaks to him like a baby, patting his butt.
Taehyung's face turns sour at the unwanted butt touch, pushing Jimin off of me "Stop. Don't touch me there. That is my no-no square. R-A-P-E get the frick away from me." He sings, reciting the rape song his mother taught him as a child.
Jimin stops in shock, unsure of what the frick just happened.
Taehyung leaves the two, walking back to Momo where no one touches his plump butt. It was his private property.
"Someone's having a tushie tantrum," Hoseok grimaces, shrugging with Jimin.
With a loud snort from Jin, they continue to jump around in a celebratory butt patting hug.
"Wait- what was the line again?" Namjoon asks, smiling in a guilty conscious
"Please." Yoongi begs "just kills him. We don't need him for the plot. Please. This is torture."
Jin and Jimin observe the scene from the sideline's patiently waiting their turn. Jin takes a sip from his tea, glancing at Jimin. "So," He says, grabbing Jimin's attention. "What's it like being so short?" He asks him, earning a glaring look. "Do you play mini golf?"
"Guys, I think I found Taehyung," Hoseok says his line, looking down at the boy making his way across the theme park, holding hands with Vanessa.
Jimin smiles brightly upon his arrival "TAEHYUNG!!" He screams, running to his friend.
Taehyung, on the other hand, becomes very afraid. Specifically, of Jimin's hands and their tendency to travel to his butt with a frequent flyer's discount. "NO!" Taehyung yells, dropping Vanessa's hand "GOD NO!!!" He screams bloody murder and runs away as a giggling jimin chases after him, trying to pat the young boy's bootay.
Jungkook gets close to Jin's face after declaring his unearned victory. He smirks in Jin's face. "Stay away from Momo." he spits.
Jin closes his eyes, raising his brows at the awful stench coming from the boy's mouth. Much like the sticky brown substance at the bottom of a trashcan. He opens them again, staring back at Jungkook "Just like you've been staying away from mints?"
"Oh my God I'm so freaking cold Jin!!" Momo whines while waiting for the camera crew to get ready, rubbing her arms to try and make some warmth. "Why did we have to go to a night market for our date!!??" She complains at him.
Jin only smiles back" Aigo Aigo," he shakes his head, pulling Momo into a warm hug "I'll keep you warm" He whispers to her, placing his head on top of hers.
Momo shivers "I'm still cold" She pouts, snuggling deeper into his arms.
Jin leans down to her ear with a smirk "you know, you'd warm up faster if you were naked."
Momo immediately shoves herself out of Jin's embrace "EWWW!!" She scolds him as he just laughs "Namjoon has been rubbing off on you too much." she shakes her head at him.
"You don't need to lose weight Momo but if you really want to get fit, I know someone," Jungkook says, staring off into the void of horror. "Min Yoongi." He shudders as he utters the cursed name.
In the back, Yoongi springs to his feet with a giant gummy smile "FINALLY!!" He yells, swaying his hips and arms back and forth in the air as a celebratory dance at the official start of his appearance in the show.
....After 22 episodes......
oops?
Hoseok sputters in a giggle after Yoongi sassily tells Jungkook to shut up. Yoongi glares at him, aiming his furry towards him and throwing the clipboard in his hand at his general direction. as if it were fate, it jabs Hoseok right in the eye.
Hoseok falls back from the force, holding his eye as the rest of the cast gasps, circling around him like vultures. Yoongi just stares from his spot, impressed by his aim.
"Okay, everyone take a break while we ice Hoseok's eye!" The director calls, sending a couple staff to go find some ice.
"Yoongi, you hurt him! say sorry!" Jimin scolds, patting the hurting boy's back in comfort.
Yoongi scoffs "whatever" he sits down on the ground, lounging "Hoseok, go get me a water."
"why would I go get you water?" Hoseok glares, dumbfounded.
"Because I said so, peasant " Yoongi rolls his eyes, as if it were obvious who the King was.
"YOU HIT ME IN THE EYE!" Hobi yells in protest.
Yoongi looks back at him with gritted teeth "Yeah, and next time I'll hit the other eye you little-" he reaches for the clipboard, threatening to throw it at him again.
Hoseok panics, scurrying up from his deathbed and running to get Yoongi a water like the little Yoongi bish he was.
"Looks like you'll be the man of this relationship now." Jin smiles, poking Momo's nose.
"Looks like you're not a potato anymore, which is unfortunate because mashed is my favorite."
"Looks like you're a buff baby boy now." Jin kisses Momo's nose "And I guess that makes me a weak, old pervert. A match made in H*ll." he winks
Take 7
"Looks like you'll be the top now" Jin whispers, earning a punch in the gut from Momo. Namjoon truly had rubbed off on Jin faaarrr too much.
"Looks like you're going to be the one protecting me now." Jin smiles.
Momo scrunches her nose in dissatisfaction "That was the lamest one so far. I liked the potato one better."
"No no no" The director refuses in terror "we're keeping that one" He sighs, wide-eyed, fed up with dealing with Jin's borderline disturbing lines. "Let's get this stupid drama over with." He massages his head, worried he's gone insane by being around these crackheads too long. "please."
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