《Being an Empress》19. Bold is Gold
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He immediately left me and stared at me. He looked extremely shocked. I found it really difficult to contemplate, what wrong did I say. His voice sounded accusing or maybe my imagination was flying as fast as a cheetah, "What father say such that, it's troubling you?" he asked and I looked at him flabbergasted. Didn't he really bother, about his parents assuming that he will marry many more girls in the future? But before I could think further, he walked back another step and looked really angry, oh Lord! "Wait! Are you thinking about the marriage thing? You don't trust me?" he asked and I stared at him, when realization hit me. Oh no! I hope he doesn't misunderstands, because if he will assume that I was doubting him of being true to his promise, I would land in a very big trouble, just the first day of my married life, but that I wasn't in one now.
I shook my head vigorously and explained, "No my Lord, no, how can I? But.... " I didn't get, what more to speak. He dragged me to bed, holding my arm and as he sat me down, while doing the same, and as I looked up to see him, I heard his aggressive tone, "But what?" It was terrifying to me, but I decided to speak what I felt. He is a good man after all. I took in a sharp breath to calm myself, "My Lord, I am a very average Brahmin girl, poor, my drama belong to my small world. But.... But... A king is not like that, he has certain responsibilities and marrying many woman has been a tradition." I said recollecting the words of Rajkumari Kanaka. "I.... I... In my small dreams have bounded you in a difficult situation." I said the conclusion I had arrived at while sitting in the palki. Good or bad, I wanted to be honest.
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His facial expression changed immediately a for a moment, just a moment, he looked so funny. His mouth hung open, before by he composed himself and took over his usual serious expression. I could see his eyes roaming in my face and felt conscious, all of a sudden. I turned my head to look down, but I could still feel his gaze on me. Oh my Krishna! Why does this feel so intimidating, he is my husband now. "How old are you?" I heard his sharp tone and couldn't help but flinch. Why was he asking my age all of a sudden. Royal woman don't get married atleast till they turn sixteen. It's only then that they are considered capable for marriage. This maybe because they are entrusted with a lot of responsibilities of state. I could practical hear the giggling voice of Rajkumari Kanaka, that she had spoken, when I had asked her once, in my early days in Kanya Nivas, about her lack of eagerness to marry. Now, I wondered will my young age, worry Swami.
"Fou.... Fourteen" I said, I couldn't help the stammering in my tone. He quickly stood up and went away walking, as I stared at his back, I realised that he went to the balcony. I couldn't help the gasp and surprise, when I saw how beautiful it was. The moon's shape today was a little smaller than the full moon of yesterday. Swami was staring up at Uncle moon and he looked like he was thinking something. Did I make him angry again? A deathly grip of fear again was felt by my heart. I felt like crying and as I slowly stood up to walk towards him, when he suddenly turned. The room was so beautiful and the balcony was a charm, only architectural heights could reach, but my eyes were focused on him, failing to appreciate the palace I was standing in. His eyes softened and as he neared me, I stared down at my feet.
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I could feel his strong arms around me and he placed a kiss in my forehead. I was surprised at how his anger subsided suddenly. I stared at his intense eyes for a second, but failed to hold in his gaze. I could feel his hand touching my hair and he was removing the golden jewels and letting it fall in the floor. As soon as I realised it, I felt like he was a stupid immediately. I pushed him a little while scolding him gently, "Swami, what are you doing? These are gold jewellery." I asserted as I bent down to pick them. I could feel his tug at my hand and then slowly caress my new untamed hair flowing beyond my waist with his fingers. "You're so beautiful and innocent." he said as he carried me to the bed. I felt really restless and nervous. The fact that the jewels were on the ground made me feel really restless, but I was also feeling nervous to tell that to him as he was least bothered. Maybe like the princess in the Kanya Nivas, even he didn't really care about safe guarding the jewels. He slowly lied me down in the bed and was hovering over me.
I felt really shy, so I averted my gaze, but he held my chin and made me face him. "Do you realise that you are too small to be my wife?" he asked and I nodded, he looked confused so I explained, "I came to know about this in Kanya Nivas." I told and he nodded, suddenly his eyes had a glint and he smiled mischievously, it was a smile, he had yesterday night and it meant danger. "So, what else, were you familiarised with in Kanya Prakshishan Nivas?" That was the way Mata Tejasvi always addressed the school of princesses. Before I could explain what all I learnt, he neared me, making my heart quiver and whispered softly in my ear, "Like, how a wife must behave with her husband at night?" All my Boldness that I maintained while being honest failed me as he stared at me with a smirk.
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