I had run like my life depended on it, not caring when my school robes tugged and ripped on tree branches or when I stumbled on a few rocks. There was no time to stop. I paused for a moment outside Madam Puttifoot's Tea Shop, cringing at the wide display of pink and frills, dear Merlin did it remind me of Umbridge.

It was horrifying.

I riffled through the backpack, desperate for something to give me any inclination for what to do next. A few spare pair of clothes, a water bottle and snacks, even a bloody fucking toothbrush but no instructions to survive or what to do.

I shook the thoughts from my head, I didn't need to rely on anyone to save me, I could that perfectly well myself. I eyed the wad of cash, curiousity eating at me as to where Regulus even acquired Muggle money.

It was humorous to imagine.

I eyed my surroundings cautiously, knowing that I still had more distance to travel before I could yet rest but no amount of distance would squash the paranoia. The station caught my eye, quickly repacking the contents of my bag before rushing towards it, hoping more than anything that there was a train leaving soon.

Converse-clad feet sprinted towards the board, checking the times against the pink watch residing on my left wrist. Ten minutes, surely I could survive ten minutes until the train left for King's Cross.

The few occupants stared at me, eyebrows raised as they took in the bag, my uniform and flushed cheeks. I would have to get changed if I wanted to make it the rest of my journey without attracting any more attention than I already have. I spotted the ladies bathroom a few feet to my right, veering away from the board to go change into one of the outfits packed in the bag. I shuffled my way into the skinny jeans I had left in Regulus' dorm room weeks ago, switching my white button up for a grey hoodie, a green windbreaker thrown over the top of it.

I discreetly shoved my uniform into the bin outside the bathroom, checking both ways subtly before doing so. I purchased a ticket from the grumpy middle-aged woman at the booth, not even warranting a second look from the bored lady. Her lipstick smudged teeth smiled fakely at me as she passed over the ticket, mindlessly wishing me a good trip.

If only.

I boarded the train, walking down to the furthest compartment, knowing that I would have ample time to escape if a death eater boarded the train in search of me.

Perhaps I was being too paranoid for my own good but being reckless and careless would only get me an early grave.

The old brown seats were faded and torn, the leather fabric has worn over time. The sliding door shut with a soft click as I sat on the floor beneath the window, my back resting against the cool metal of the train. I didn't want to be spotted through the window but perhaps they weren't even on my trail, perhaps I was just being idiotic.

I rifled through the backpack once more in hopes to pass the time, counting out the money. He definitely didn't spare any expense. I was putting the money back away in the front pocket when a flash of dull yellow caught my eye. It was parchment.

I gently tugged it out, not wanting to tear it, carefully unfolding it to examine its contents.

Sunshine,

Sometimes events of the past cannot be altered, cannot be stopped, no matter how stubborn and willful you are. Sometimes events slip your mind and that's okay too, but don't blame yourself. That's the only promise I'll ever ask you to make.

Remember, don't let your pesky little emotions get the better of you, they cloud your judgement and you turn into a sap. It's rather quite annoying.

Love,

R.A.B.

I laughed a little at the ending, knowing it was blunt and to the point, just like Regulus. The beginning was rather confusing but I would keep that promise, no matter the cost.

I looked back on the last few moments we had together, the feel of his lips, the warmth of his hands, his taste. The only shame is that it hadn't happened months ago.

The next time I saw him he wouldn't be able to escape my endless questions and we'd finally figure out just exactly where this was headed because I wasn't sure if I was ready for another heartbreak, not when I'd already fallen.

I memorised the words, my eyes scanning over the neat calligraphy before sliding it back safely into the back pocket of my jeans, wishing that I had him here with me.

"Tut tut tut."

My head shot up at the sound, draining of colour when my eyes landed upon a malicious blue. I tossed the backpack aside, clutching at my wand tightly as I rose to my feet.

"You weren't as sneaky as you thought, Little Lupin," he snarled, twirling his wand in his hand, ready at any moment to strike. "If I'm being honest, it was a little too easy."

"What a shame, I hate to spoil your fun," I rolled my eyes, already fed up with him. Did he always like to talk this much?

"Crucio," he gleamed, wand pointed at me before I knew what was happening.

I collapsed to my knees, struggling to breathe between my screams. The pain was unbearable, like nothing I had ever experienced before. I rolled onto my back, clutching and clawing at my chest. Nothing else mattered other than the excruciating pain, nothing else existed.

The torture stopped for a moment as I collapsed further onto the ground, breath ragged and mind torn. It was no longer a question how people went insane.

"You're not getting away so easily, Lupin," he snarled as I tried to crawl to my wand, having dropped it when I fell to my knees, "there's still a lot I've got planned for us."

"Fuck you," I spat, finally get a hold of my wand, rolling over to my side, praying that this would all be over soon. "Stupefy!"

The spell wasn't enough to cause any damage with his shield but it did buy me the moment I needed to stumble to my feet, needing to support myself against the window, knees buckling in an effort to stay standing. Sweat dripped off my forehead, racing a line down my cheek, falling ever so quietly against the grey of my hoodie, leaving it stained a darker grey until it dried.

"You're not going to win this, Lilah," he stepped towards me, wand at the ready, "you can't fight darkness with light."

It was then that I remembered something my Dad had once mentioned whilst he was our Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher – there was no such thing as dark or light magic, only our intentions.

"Alarte ascendare," I spoke, watching with satisfaction as Nicholas shot up into the roof, his head banging loudly against the flooring as he falls back down. I quickly shoot the leg-locker curse at him, successfully hitting him and then proceeding to fire a full body binding curse, the wand clutched ever so tightly in his hand now unable to be used the way he intended.

"Just watch Lupin, you'll be on your way to your deathbed before I leave this train," he growled, moving frantically in an attempt to free himself from the curse.

"Levicorpus," I smirked, taking enjoyment in hanging a furious red Nicholas upside down, knowing that there was nothing he could do to retaliate felt even more empowering. My thoughts whispered and pleaded with me to go further, to cause him pain, to kill him. The darkness inside of me was seductive, something easily conceded to.

"Expulso," I whispered, loving how his face screwed up in panic as he realised the same conclusion my father had reached – all magic is dark magic.

"Don't-" he never got to finish, flung outside the window during the blast, the side of the train now a gaping hole, debris still falling from the air, landing scattered on the train tracks.

Before he was thrown off the train, his body was perfectly aligned with my own, his wand pointed straight at me, the crooked smile that I used to love so much now holding ill intentions as he whispered the two words that signed my grave.

"Avada kedavra."