Quick question guys (and please answer cause I'm really interested)

In book 2, I'm trying to decide who should kill Jocelyn - Alec or Cami? On one hand, it's originally Alec who kills her and it marks an important change in his and Clary's relationship and his personality which is massively important but on the other hand it makes more sense for Cami to kill her because she's so angry at her and it could bring something different to the book...

Let me know I'm super curious!

*********

Descending the stairs from the training room, hand still clasped in Alec's I spot Jace and Clary, still dressed and seemingly in a rush...I also see Maryse, focusing on a tablet in front of her, swiping her finger along it with a brutal sense of determination.

I squeeze Alec's hand before letting go, smiling encouragingly at him as I follow on after Clary and Jace, who were working to catch up with Simon.

"We need your help" Jace's voice carries over to me as I approach them and I fall short.

Jace asking Simon for help?

Clearly, Simon is just as stunned because he makes a startled face, looking questioningly at Clary

"The Book of the White" Clary explains, "It contains the spell that can wake mom, but she hid it so Valentine can never find it."

"We have a lead" Jace interjects

Clary sighs, presenting the bookmark I had picked up from the table mere minutes ago.

"The Bookmark of the White?" Simon frowns and I snigger. They all turn to me, Jace glaring, Simon smiling appreciatively and Clary pensively. I shrug back simply and Clary returns to explaining.

"It's a piece of the book itself. Magnus tracked it's owner to the Hotel DuMort, but..."

"It's with Camille" I finish

"Okay, um..." Simon murmurs, inhaling deeply, "I'll set a meeting with Raphael."

"Thank you" Clary and I chorus in varying, relieved tones

Simon nods before turning away and exiting the Institute. I feel my heart sink a little. It was our fault he was taken and used as a human toy by Camille, our fault he became a vampire...and now it's our fault that he may have to confront the woman who literally killed him.

We suck.

Somehow, in the midst of my thoughts, both Clary and Jace had disappeared and I now found myself alone... until Alec rounds the corner, headed straight towards me.

"On a scale of one to ten..." I grimace as he reaches me, "How bad was it?"

"Off the charts" Alec admits and I wince, "Yeah, I've never seen them so angry."

"Just...give them time?" I suggest, though my heart drops - this was exactly what I'd been wanting to avoid, him losing everything just because of me...for me.

"After what I did..." Alec breathes, "I don't think they'll ever forgive me."

"Don't underestimate a parent's love" I counter, "It was my mother's love for me and my sister that she took us away from Valentine, betrayed him and her beliefs at the time. If we hadn't existed...I don't think she would've had the strength."

"It was also your mother's love for Clary that got you cursed" Alec points out, a hard and bitter edge to his voice at the mention of my curse

"You don't..." I exhale audibly, anxiety sweeping over me, "You don't regret it...do you?"

"Everything happened so fast" Alec sighs, "I didn't have time to really think...I just wanna make sure Lydia's okay."

My blood turns to ice and I feel the treat of tears behind my eyes. He didn't say he regretted it...but he wasn't making me feel much better with the words he was saying and not only that but it was Lydia on the forefront of his mind right now...and that kinda hurt.

"Now, I owe her so much." Alec continues and I feel a bit of warmth return to me

"We owe her" I correct him. It was true. Her blessing, her acceptance had made the entire ordeal a lot easier to deal with, "What she did was nothing short of heroic."

Alec smiles and nods, placing his hand on my cheek briefly before turning to Lydia's office door.

"I'm just glad you don't regre-Lydia!" I exclaim, bolting past Alec and kneeling beside Lydia. She was out cold, sprawled on the middle of the floor, her hair still pinned and sprayed into the elaborate hairstyle she'd had for the wedding.

Alec presses his finger to her throat, nodding quickly to me.

Alive.

Good.

"Stele" I demand, turning the palm of my hand upwards. Alec presses the stele into my hand, the one I'd stolen only a few days ago, and grazed my eyes over her exposed skin, looking for her iratze rune.

Pulling back one of her sleeves, I spot the rune on her forearm and trace it quickly. It glows subtly and she immediately begins to stir but doesn't wake up.

"Go get help" Alec instructs but I don't move from her side

"You go get help" I rebut, "You know where to go. I don't."

Without another word, Alec stands from the floor and rushes out the door, a trail of expletives in his wake.

"You're gonna be okay" I whisper to Lydia, pushing some of her hair back from her face as her eyes open slowly

As she comes to, she speaks. One word, one name, her throat hoarse and weak...

"Hodge."

***

"How's Lydia?" Clary asks Alec and I as we approach them, having just left the infirmary

"Better" I nod, "I called Magnus and he's doing everything he can to help her but...it's bad."

"And the Cup is definitely missing" Alec chimes in

That motherfucking Cup!

"So is Hodge" Jace breathes

"Maybe he was attacked, too" Izzy chimes in hopefully, pulling up the security footage for Lydia's office

"I think he's the one who attacked her." I sneer, "The first thing Lydia said when she came to was Hodge's name and it sounded like there was a warning behind it."

"Hodge? Attack someone who wasn't a demon or Forsaken?" Izzy questions, "No way. We've known him our whole lives. He would never do that to us."

"Well, maybe that's why I can differentiate" I note, "I've never trusted him, never. Not since he-"

I stop short as Izzy plays the security footage...where Hodge punches Lydia with such force she's knocked backwards onto the floor, smashing into a coffee table on the way and then Hodge, circling around her body and taking the Mortal Cup, clenching it tightly in his fist.

"You were saying?" I echo, but there's no hint of malice in it, in fact it was barely a whisper.

He had almost killed her with that punch.

"I led him right to the Cup" Jace breathes, eyes cemented to the screen

"We treated him like family" Alec snarls, "How could he do this to us?"

Switching to another camera in the one of the infirmary rooms standing beside my unconscious, floating mother. Izzy zooms in on Hodge and in fast forward we watch him wince as his neck rune burns, glowing more brilliantly red than it had ever done before, slipping on a ring

"What's that ring?" Clary asks before I can beat her to it

"Looks like he's talking to someone" Izzy notes as Hodge pulls the Mortal Cup from his bag, holding it in front of the person he was talking to as if presenting it to them

"And I can bet who it is" Jace snarls and no one needs to ask him what he thinks, because we have all figured it out by now.

Valentine.

"Well, that explains how he deactivated the Punishment rune" Alec describes, "But it doesn't explain where he got the ring."

"You think someone smuggled it past the wards?" Clary questions, folding her arms

"Maybe" Jace allows, his voice low and dangerous, "Hodge wasn't the only ex-Circle member around here"

"Woah, woah, woah" i interrupt angrily before Alec and Izzy even process the words Jace was saying, "You better not be suggesting-"

"Look, I know I don't always see eye to eye with my parents" Izzy interjects calmly, "But I know they're not traitors."

"Isn't that what you just said about Hodge?" Jace mentions and Izzy goes quiet, "It'd have to be someone we trusted, but if there was an intruder inside the Institute, we would have found them by now."

"Not necessarily" I realise, "The Forsaken attack...didn't they attack Hodge first? What if they were just messengers? Valentine's version of very agressive mailmen?"

"No" Alec refuses, "We killed that thing and I didn't see a ring."

"He didn't have one during the autopsy, but..." Izzy considers, "Maybe there's something in the footage."

Izzy taps at the computer a few more times, pulling up the old footage of the Forsaken's attack but after seeing nothing, Alec suggests the other camera.

Zooming in, we watch Hodge slip the ring off one of the dead Forsaken's fingers, slipping it into his own pocket.

"Knew it" I scoff, "It wasn't a random attack. Fuck! I knew I had a reason not to trust him!"

"If he gives that Cup to Valentine, he'll create an army of Shadowhunters" Alec utters, "With that kind of power behind him, he'll kill thousands."

"He'll kill thousands just creating the army" Izzy adds, "Most mundanes won't survive that."

"We won't let that happen" Clary asserts

"I'm gonna make sure of it" Jace barks, turning on his heel and disappearing and though I loved my sister's...and brother's optimistic outlook on it, I could just tell that it was not going to be that easy.

***

Less than an hour later, Clary and I were talking, discussing strategy when she spotted Jace and Alec, back in Shadowhunter black and preparing weapons.

"Jace, what are you doing?" Clary asks, hiking up her long, emerald dress to ascend the stairs without tripping and I follow after her with no problems in my jeans and shirt.

"Every second we waste here, Hodge gets closer to Valentine." Jace reports robotically

"Well...hey, we're a team, right?" Clary stutters, "I know you're mad right now but Hodge could be dangerous."

"Two of us, one of him" Jace reminds her and I feel a twist of anxiety in my stomach and my eyes travel to Alec, who'd walked over to the weapons rack to grab his bow, "Check the math, but I'm pretty sure he's outnumbered."

"What is with you?" Clary huffs, "Would you just talk to me for a second?"

As Clary and Jace continue to argue, I drift away form them and over to Alec, smiling tentatively as I reach him.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"Look, I-"

"Please don't tell me not to go" Alec interrupts me and I come up short

"I wasn't going to."

Alec raises an eyebrow at me, disbelieving.

"I wasn't!" I insist, "I mean...Do I wish you weren't going? Yeah, of course, it's dangerous and risky and you could potentially die-"

"-But" I enforce as Alec opens his mouth to protest, "I also understand that this is your job, your calling, I have no right to tell you not to go and I don't want to. I've taken enough from you already."

"You haven't taken anything from me" Alec stops moving around, preparing, to look me dead int he eye as he says this, "Nothing. Earlier, at the wedding...that was my choice and I'm so glad you came and we both finally decided to think of ourselves for once."

"For once?" I scoff, "I've been selfish about everything ever since I arrived in this world."

"No, you haven't and the fact that you don't even realise how selfless you are is both annoying and incredibly endearing, by the way." Alec assures me, placing a hand on my cheek, "You've done nothing but support your sister, me, Jace, Izzy. You saved my sister's life and that's something I'll never forget and through all of this, you've only once considered yourself when making decisions...and even then it took you a while and a massive push to get there."

I grimace. His speech, though kind and sweet, was, to me, untrue. I couldn't see my decisions as anything but selfish.

Unable to agree but choosing not to protest, I stay silent, trailing along behind him as we reach Clary and Jace again, still arguing.

"You don't get it" Jace growls, picking up a seraph blade and storming from the room

Okay...argument over then.

Alec looks after Jace, then back at me quickly, giving me a 'I gotta go' look. I nod solemly but take my hands in his quickly.

"Just don't die" I sigh and Alec chuckles

"Wasn't planning on it"

Leaving a quick kiss to my cheek, he pulls his hands from mine and rushes down the few steps after Jace. I exhale audibly, turning back to Clary with tremendous effort, who had a giant smile on her face.

"I forgot to congratulate you" Clary smiles, "For finally growing the balls to tell him how you felt."

"Shut up, Clary" I roll my eyes, leaning on the table, "So...what do we do now?"