We were finally back at the Institute, and I was still confused and scared.

Everything had gone by in such a blur.

Saving the warlocks, summoning the demon...

Watching my face spring from Alec's chest, his payment to the demon, a memory of me, the one he loved most...

And, of course, finding out what I was.

I had stormed inside the Institute as soon as we got back, locking myself in my room immediately.

It had been at least 8 hours since then. Clary had come to my door earlier, but I'd locked it, and resolved not to let her, or anybody else for that matter, in and after quietly begging me to talk to her for 10 minutes, she gave up and left.

Good.

I wasn't in the mood for company right now.

"Hey" a gruff voice breaks through my reverie and I shoot up in the bed, clutching a hand to my heart.

Alec was there, standing by the now opened door with his stele in his hand.

Of course...fucking unlocking rune.

"What? What do you want?" I snap, scrambling back in bed as he moved closer towards me, "Oop, careful now, don't come too close! I wouldn't want to get too hyped up on adrenaline and snap your head off like a lid."

"Come on, Cami" Alec sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed, "Just talk to me. Please."

"You know what?" I growl, "When you decide to tell me what the hell that whole memory thing was about, I would be glad to talk to you but until then..."

I leave the silence hanging in the air for a moment but, when it's clearly apparent by the look on Alec's face that he had no intention of telling me anything, I huff and turn my back to him, burying my face in the pillow.

That's what I thought.

Before either one of us can make any more movements, I hear my door slam open and I sit up in bed, turning to face Isabelle standing in the doorway, face panicked

"It's Clary"

***

"And he spoke to you?" Jace's voice echoes from my sister's open door and I push my legs a little faster, spurring myself to get to Clary quicker, a natural instinct pressured upon me by my curse. Alec, following close behind me, speeds up, too.

"He said my name" Clary breathes, "He said 'Your mother for the Cup'"

"Who said that?" I ask, emerging into the bedroom

"Cami!" Clary gasps, rushing to me, "I thought you'd never leave that room"

"Well, Isabelle made it sound like you were in danger" I explain, a hint of malice in my tone, "And we all know how I get when that happens"

Both Jace, Alec and Clary's faces all crumple sympathetically and I scoff, rolling my eyes.

"Who said that?"I repeat when Clary doesn't answer my question

"Valentine" Clary and Jace answer in unison and the slight glint of silver in my eye turns my attention to Jace's hand which was wrapped around the silver chain of the purple gem necklace Clary had been given by our Mother.

"He's with Mom" Clary continues, worry blossoming along her face

"And he can speak to you through that necklace?" Alec questions, all business, "Here, in the Institute?"

"It's like when I saw Dot..."

"It's a portal shard" Jace cuts in, the purple gem hovering just in front of his face, "That's why your mother made sure you had it."

"All I know is what I saw..." Clary sighs, "Mom's alive. Unconscious, but alive."

I try to find it in me to be relieved, but instead I just feel a strong, powerful surge of anger that makes me grit my teeth.

"Where are they?" Alec asks

"I don't know" Clary stammers

"You said you saw them, Clary" I remind her

"Were they any identifying characteristics? Equipment, letters, photographs?" Alec lists

"I don't remember!" Clary exclaims, "It was awful"

"Alec, lighten up" Jace cautions

"I'm trying to get something we can use out of this!" Alec counters, "Clary...what did you see, exactly?"

"Valentine has my mother!" Clary huffs, "That's what I saw."

"Emotions are nothing but a distraction" Alec spits and I turn my head to face him, the words hitting a nerve, "You're ruled by them. We're taught to control them."

"Oh, yeah?" Clary hisses, looking from me to Alec knowingly, "And how is that working out for ya?"

Alec notices her glance but says nothing, instead gritting his teeth and resolving not to look at me, he continues, "It is my job to protect the Institute. If Valentine can see in, that's a door I have to shut. Now...let me take a look at that thing."

"Uh, uh, uh" I laugh, snatching the necklace from Jace as he extends it towards Alec's open hand, "I may be mundane, but I know you, Alec."

"Give it to me, Camille" Alec reasons

"No way!" I huff, passing the necklace to Clary, "It's her property and I know you're not just going to 'look' at it, you'll take it from her."

"Maybe I will" Alec nods, "But that doesn't change the fact that this needs to be kept away from silly little girls who don't know the kind of power they're holding onto!"

In the same few seconds, Alec moves to snatch the necklace from Clary, but in that same instant I feel that haze pushing through and I reflexively grab Alec's hand before twisting his arm behind his back and using my other arm to push him against the wall, pinning his face to the bricks.

"Too close" I hiss

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry!" Alec mumbles in defeat and the haze fades as quickly as it came on. I stumble backwards, shocked by my actions.

Alec sighs, turning himself to face us again.

"I'm sorry" I mumble, shaking my head, "I don't know what..."

Came over me, is what I was going to say.

But that's no longer true.

"Alec..." Clary begins, frowning in confusion, "Why did you surrender like that?"

"What do you mean?" Alec frowns

"Why did you give up as soon as Cami pinned you to the wall, that's not like you..."

As she speaks, I realise she's right. Though I don't know the complete extent of how dangerous I am when I'm in sleeper-mode, I do know that Alec could handle himself.

Not to mention he's so ridiculously stubborn, he would never back down from a fight...so why now?

"Well...Magnus warned us before we left his apartment" Jace explains, "He told us that the slightest raise in our voice towards Clary could potentially trigger a sleeper action, considering how strong it seems to have overcome you. So he said, in order to protect both us and Cami, the best thing to do is instantaneously surrender the second your sleeper kicks in. Something about the vulnerability tricks your brain into believing Clary's not in harm's way and then you revert."

"Great" I sigh, "I'm so dangerous that even all-knowing-Alec has to pretend to surrender to me."

Again, everyone stays silent, both too worried to upset me and too pitying to agree.

"Clary, give me the necklace" I instruct, reaching my hand out to take it. Clary doesn't think twice and hands it to me instantly.

"Alec..." I speak, turning to face him, "When I give this to you, what are you really going to do with it? Tell me the truth."

It's so strange but I can quite literally see the lie form behind Alec's eyes and then get discarded almost instantly as I ask him for the truth.

Whatever he says, I know it won't be a lie.

"I'll put it in a lockbox in the training room that can only be opened with my stele, that way Clary can't let Valentine in, which means the door is shut. And it will stay there."

"I'm trusting you" I whisper, taking Alec's hand and uncurling it before pressing the necklace into his hand, "Don't make me regret it."

"Cami, no!" Clary protests, "That's all I have left of Mom!"

"It's too dangerous, Clary" I breathe, "I can't let you get hurt."

"Heh! Is that you or the sleeper talking?" Clary snarks and her eyes widen, regretting her comment immediately

"Both" I snarl, "And I'd thank you not to use that against me."

"I'm sorry"

"Don't apologise. I'm sick of apologies."

"Don't worry, Cami" Alec assures me, "I'll keep it safe"

And, somehow, I just know he will.

***

A little while later, perched on a bench by the Institutes front doors, I hear the voices of Clary and Isabelle coming up behind me but before I can actually address them, the doors open and a woman comes into the room, clad in black and covered in runes.

"Isabelle" she addresses, tone clipped and business-like, "Dressed to impress, I see...and you've been playing with the family heirlooms."

Family heirlooms?

This must be Isabelle and Alec's...and Jace's mother.

I stand from the bench and progress over to stand by Clary who smiles and sticks her hand out, introducing both herself and I, "Hi, I'm Clary and this is my sister, Camille Fray."

"Clary and Camille Fairchild" she corrects, using our Shadowhunter last name in place of 'Fray', "You both are spitting images of your mother. We know all about you in Idris."

"Idris?" Clary and I chorus

"Shadowhunter homeland. If you think the Institute is well hidden, just wait until you see that place." Isabelle explains before turning to her mother, "How's Max? We all miss him - little brother, cute but clingy. Kinda Simon-ish."

"Robert's picking him up at the Mumbai Institute" she dismisses, "Where is Jace? We have a situation that has to be handled now."

With that, she pushes through us and stalks into the Institute, without a second glance or even a 'Hello.' to her own daughter.

"Well, that's my mom" Isabelle sighs, following her mother and Clary and I follow.

Once we arrive in the training room, I spot Isabelle's mother watching Jace intently with a look of pride on her face...clearly, he's the golden boy of the family.

I feel that usual wave of sickness from being in the training room hit me, but I'm so used to it now that I'm rather good at ignoring it. Though 10 minutes seems to be my tolerance of late so hopefully this lecture won't be too long...

Though something tells me that it's going to be.

"Is you mom always like that?" I question, frowning, "She didn't even hug you."

"Shadowhunters aren't big huggers" Izzy chuckles

With a loud grunt and a final plunge of his sword, Jace breaks his concentration, noticing Isabelle's mother and his lips split into a grin.

"Maryse" Jace smiles, breathing heavily, "Hey!"

Maryse smiles largely and opens her arms, embracing Jace warmly.

Ouch.

Watching Isabelle's face fall, I force myself to look away from her, the sight too painful to see. My mother may have cursed me but...at least I knew she cared about me.

"How's everyone in Idris? Where's Max?" Jace rapid fires but Isabelle cuts in before Maryse can explain anything

"No Max" Isabelle huffs, "Just Mom with her hair on fire"

"I love how much Shadowhunters share" Clary sasses, "A hidden brother, a secret country and a private Portal"

"Mother" Alec's voice drifts through the room and I can't help but feel my heart skip, "Welcome back. We didn't expect you."

"You should be prepared, whether you expect me or not" Maryse says, kissing his cheek affectionately.

Poor Izzy.

"I am" Alec defends weakly, "We are."

"We'll talk about the Institute later. Right now, we have a bigger problem" Maryse turns on her heel and starts striding around the room, reciting, "The Seelies have stopped communicating with the Clave and won't explain why. My guess is they're still upset we asked them to send scouts to look for Valentine, but no one in their realm will talk."

"I have Seelie friends" Izzy offers tentatively

"Yes, I know about your friends." Maryse scolds, "Isabelle, we stay seperate from the Downworld for good reasons. The wrong move, the wrong word...Do you think there is such a thing as harmless rebellion? Who knows what offends these creatures? Maybe you told him...them...something they shouldn't know. Maybe you trod on one of their ridiculous customs without knowing it."

"Wait, I don't understand" Jace interjects, attempting to defend Izzy, "You're laying all this on Izzy for having a friend in the Downworld?"

"When someone upsets the natural order, everything falls apart."

"Natural order?" I spit, "What exactly are you saying?"

"I can help" Izzy asserts, determined to prove herself, a feat that seems impossible with her nasty Mother, "I know how to talk to Seelies."

"She's right" Alec agrees, "She can visit with Meliorn and see what he knows. I could go with her if you want."

"I'd rather Jace goes along this time" Maryse counters, "Alec, you stay with the Fairchild girls. I want them under control. They've caused enough trouble already."

"Maybe that's because we weren't Shadowhunters until a few days ago!" I protest

"As I understand it, you are not a Shadowhunter at all" Maryse snides and I freeze...what if she tried to throw me out? Does she know what I am?, "A mundane with a strange affliction to our runes has no place in this Institute but we cannot risk Valentine finding you and using you to extract information. So let me make this clear...the only reason you are standing here is because I allow you to be. One misstep and you are gone. Clear?"

I nod, shell shocked.

I guess I'm going to have to play nice after all.

"The Clave counts on us Lightwood's to maintain order here."

"You don't need to tell me that" Alec assures her, though a slight bitterness laces his tone that wasn't there before, "If the mission is important to the Clave, I would prefer to be the one that goes with Isabelle."

Maryse chuckles blandly, "You're all so eager to do what you would prefer. It's time to face the truth. Life is not about what you want to do, it's about what must be done. I have given you your assignments, now carry them out. You and you" Maryse instructs, pointing to Izzy and Jace, "With me, now!"

Jace and Isabelle follow Maryse out of the training room hastily, glancing back at us only once.

"Damn" Clary whispers, "What did you do to piss off your Mom?"

"I'd guess, for a start....all the unsanctioned missions on your behalf didn't go over that big with the Clave." Alec huffs before stalking off himself

"What a warm and fuzzy family" Clary sighs

"Hey, Clary" I pant, "Less talk, more walk, please? The runes are getting to me..."

***

After having moved to a less runed training room, Clary had picked up a staff and started twirling it in her hands. It was effortless, fluid...as if she'd always known how to spin heavy sticks of wood around without inflicting damage.

For a second, I feel wistful, wishing I knew how to do things like that, that my instincts were as languid as hers but I was just a mundane...sleeper or not, at my core I was just mundane and it was all I'd ever be.

And I'd be lying if I said it didn't hurt.

Suddenly, Alec comes barreling in and I sigh.

Great, to make my day even better...

"Looks like we're all stuck with each other" Clary points out as Alec makes his way to the weapon rack, grabbing a staff identical to Clary's, "For what it's worth, I think your mom was too tough on you out there."

"Mothers are like that" Alec dismisses

"Ours isn't"

"Oh, to be the blessed baby of the family" I spit, my simmering anger bubbling over, "Have you forgotten she cursed me just to protect your innocent little mind from knowing about all this? That she chose to ruin the rest of my life just to keep you from knowing about this for all of, what? Four years? Mother of the year award right there."

"Cami, don't talk about Mom like that!" Clary cries

"Why?" I exclaim, standing from my chair, "Because she's locked up, unconscious somewhere with our psycho father? I'm sorry if I don't feel all that concerned for a woman I barely know!"

"She's your mother, too..."

"No, she isn't. No mother...no good mother would curse her child for anything. She makes Maryse look like fucking Mother Theresa."

"Cami, please..."

"No, Clary" I sigh, "No, I can't just forgive her, not just like that. Mom may be your saviour, but she's my curser...literally. It's gonna take time...a lot of time to forgive her. And I'm not completely sure I can."

"Cami she still loves you"

"Maybe so" I shrug, "But I'm not feeling the love right now. Can we just stop talking about Mom, please? Oh and, Alec, I agree with Clary, Maryse was too hard on you."

Alec, seemingly unaffected by my massive rant, shrugs it off, "Shadowhunter mothers are just like that"

"Yeah, well, Shadowhunter mothers suck" I scoff and I swear I see the hint of a smile on Alec's lips

"Yeah, come on, Alec. Knock me on my ass. It'll make you feel better." Clary smirks, twirling the staff in her hand

"Oh, hell no" I chuckle, snatching the staff from her, "Not on my watch"

"I need to train, Cami!" Clary protests

"Not when I'm in the room, you can't. At least...you can't train against anyone. Unless I'm allowed to leave the room...?"

"Mother said I needed to-"

"Yep, that's a no" I confirm, chuckling, "We can't risk it. What if my stupid brain thinks you're in danger and tries to hurt Alec?"

"He could just surrender?" Clary offers

"Is that before or after I kill him?" I raise my eyebrows, "I almost broke his arm when he tried to snatch a necklace from you, what happens if it looks like he's trying to kill you?"

"But when Jace put that demon rune on me, when I was screaming in pain...you didn't attack me then."

"Magnus said that's because I trusted Jace, because I was prepared and knew what was coming and you knew it, too."

"So you don't trust me?" Alec asks, slightly hurt and angry

"Of course I trust you" I whisper sincerely, "What I don't trust is my brain. Jace is different, he's kind to Clary, always on her side, doesn't try to defy her. You, however, aren't like that, clearly the mundani in me already thinks you're a threat or I wouldn't have attacked you for taking a necklace. I'm not taking that big a risk. Not when it concerns your life." I assert, turning to Alec, "So, I'll train with you."

"No way" Alec shakes his head, "You're a mundane, there's every chance I could really hurt you."

"Which is why I need to learn how to fight" I clarify, "If someone tries to attack me and not Clary, I'm fucked. Normal me, non-sleeper me, doesn't know how to fight and Magnus said my body only really protects me from mental harm. So...best I learn, right?"

"She has a point, Alec" Clary agrees, "I don't want her to get hurt just because our mother decided to curse her."

I smile slightly, clearly my words about our mother resonated with her...somewhat, anyway.

"Ok then, but we'll take it slow. I'll just make movements and you can deflect them, try rely on your instincts"

"Okay" I agree.

Here we go...