Nowadays, it felt like sadness was a recurring theme for you.

Your discussion with Monoma the other day had done little to assuage your fears—if anything, it had actually made things worse. Even now you still couldn't get the image out of your head; Katsuki's expression, contorted with malice, as he gripped the other boy by the throat.

He wasn't the person that others thought he was. You knew that by now. Yet still, his actions at times made you feel nervous and uneasy. It wasn't exactly normal, was it? For someone to lose their composure so quickly? To transition from levelheadedness to rage in just a few moments?

You couldn't understand. You hated violence. Some part of you was still struggling with all that was required of you, in becoming a hero. Even just the thought of having to hurt someone made a pit settle into your stomach—your soulmate seemed to welcome it with open arms, and a crooked grin on his lips.

The disconnect was strong. You realized that now.

"[Name]-chan..."

Uraraka slumped her brows. She could tell that you were struggling with something; she knew that you were unwilling to confide in her. You could only imagine how upset that must have been making her, but you just couldn't bring yourself to talk on the subject. You knew it was selfish to behave like this; to allow your expression to crumple in on itself and worry your friends. Before, you might've tried to conceal it all with a smile and go along like there was nothing weighing you down. You were far too exhausted to bother doing that anymore.

The only person who you pretended around was Katsuki himself.

Whenever his mark would start hurting, you would just brush it off with a white lie. Sometimes you told him you had a headache and you weren't feeling too well; right now you argued stress, and how scared you were about the upcoming final exams. He would always scoff, reassuring you that he'd tutored you himself and so you'd do just fine.

You almost wondered why you didn't feel guilty, hiding the truth from him for so long. Then you realized that this entire relationship was essentially built on lies—fabricated in spite of the real feelings you were suppressing.

The whole thing was just one big joke.

"Come on," Uraraka whined, imploring you with her big, brown eyes. "I can't stand seeing you so upset all the time. Why won't you ever talk to me anymore? Are you mad at me? Did I do something to make you angry?"

You managed a tight-lipped smile. "Of course not. That's ridiculous."

"Then why? You never used to hide things from me, and don't say that you're not—I think we both know full well that there's something serious going on." She paused, adding cautiously, "Is it about Bakugou-kun...?"

"Yes."

The candor surprised you, but it was the most you'd speak on the subject, in any case. Uraraka stared back at you, gaze unwavering. She must've realized you weren't going to say anything else. Her shoulders slumped.

"I understand," she mumbled sadly. "If you don't want to tell me about it, then I can't force you. I just need you to know that I'm always here to listen, whenever you're ready. I might not know much about him, but if nothing else, I'll always be a shoulder to cry on."

"Thank you. I know I'm being shitty right now, but I promise I'll tell you. When I get over this slump I'm in."

She smiled in spite of her dejection. Classes were over now; you were wading through the hallways and heading towards the lobby to retrieve your things. You'd left as soon as the bell had rung, hoping to avoid Katsuki. You hadn't seen him follow after you, so he might've stayed behind in the classroom with Kirishima a while longer.

Suddenly, you had a thought.

I need help.

"Sorry, Uraraka-chan." You pivoted on your heel, turning back in the direction from which you'd come. "I need to go do something. Head home without me, okay?"

You watched her lips part, but you were already walking away. The most you caught was a glimpse of her expression as it sank, eyes crestfallen and somber.

When was the last time you'd been this selfish?

—

"Is something the matter, [Name]?"

Recovery Girl furrowed her brows, looking you over in confusion as you stepped into her office and closed the door. You tried to force a smile, but your somber expression just wouldn't budge.

"Sort of," you mumbled, taking a seat before her. "Truthfully, I'm not even sure if it's an issue you can really help me with, but I don't know who else to ask. I figured I would ask you to give me a quick check-up."

She frowned. "I can do that, but might I ask what brought this on? Have you been feeling unwell?"

You shook your head. "No. It's—well, I think it would be easier if I just showed you." A weary sigh fell out your lips. The mere notion made your chest tight, divulging your secret to someone else. Still, it had to be done. Gripping down on the edge of your shirt, you lifted up the fabric to reveal the marking on your hip.

Somehow, Recovery Girl didn't seem all that surprised to see the faded writing. She just looked sad.

"Your soulmate bond," she said quietly. "It's faded away even more, I see."

Even more...?

"What do you mean by that?" Your throat felt dry. "Did you notice it was fading before?"

Her dark eyes softened. The edges of her lips were downturned, lacking their usual smile. You wondered if you were mistaking her expression for guilt.

"I'm sorry," she conceded. "I did notice the early hints that your bond had begun to dissolve, back during the Sports Festival." You swallowed thickly. It had started that long ago? "I felt it wasn't in my place to comment," she continued. "I have little experience of my own with soulmates; nowadays we see less and less of those people around. Although, perhaps I should have mentioned it to you, at least as a courtesy. For that, I apologize."

"...Ah."

You were at a loss as to what to say. If she'd picked up on it that long ago, it meant that you were already well on your way to having it disappear for good. Back during the Sports Festival—you remembered how many fights you and Katsuki had that day; the constant flux of ups and downs.

Maybe the instability of this relationship was the problem.

"I'll still examine you," she added hurriedly, noting your silence. "Just take a seat on the bed, my dear."

You nodded listlessly, propping yourself up on the edge. She asked you a few basic screening questions while she was performing the exam, but you were almost completely zoned out. It was unfair for you to feel betrayed, especially when Recovery Girl had no business butting into your soulmate issues, but it was still upsetting. You hated feeling like you were alone in all this.

"Everything seems fine," she smiled. "You're not in any sort of pain, are you? If you have other concerns, I can always write you a referral for the hospital so that they can perform some more tests in detail."

You shook your head. "No. I feel fine, physically. I'm just scared."

"Scared? What for? Ah—" She smiled sympathetically. "You mean you're worried about what it means for your relationship, with Bakugou. I've seen his mark as well," she added, "While he came in here, at some point. You seem to spend a lot of time together, so I just assumed. Forgive me if I'm wrong."

"You're not wrong. He's my soulmate." The words felt heavy on your tongue. "But I guess not for long, if this is happening."

Recovery Girl shuffled closer to you. She seemed to be contemplating what to say; how to say it. You weren't stupid. You could tell that she was trying to figure out the nicest way to break the bad news to you.

"Admittedly...whenever someone's soulmate bond fades away, it usually means that they weren't as compatible with that person as was previously thought."

I knew it.

"It's still very difficult to tell with these things," she sighed. "They're rare cases, all of them. Even in my time, there were never many people who'd been assigned a 'soulmate'. It's hard to categorize anomalies; to try and explain why they are the way they are."

"I've never met anyone else with a soulmate mark. I have no one to ask; to go to for help. I-I tried looking my situation up, and the answers I got scared me." You curled your fists into a ball. "An old friend of mine told me that the only other soulmate couple he'd known had gone through something horrible. Their marks had both started to fade away, then they each started feeling ill, and they eventually passed away. Hearing something like that, I just...I'm terrified. And I don't know what to do."

She tapped on her cane, brows laced with concern. "They passed away? Because the writing disappeared?"

"Yes. Based on everything I've read and heard, a fading mark isn't a joke. A lot of the time, a person's soulmate will pass away, and their mark will disappear after the fact. But mine's already begun disappearing." You looked up at her with wide, imploring eyes, desperately hoping that she could offer you some sort of salvation. "So I'm just scared. What does that mean for me?"

Recovery Girl's smile had long since disappeared. There was a bout of silence, and then—

"...I honestly don't know."

Your chest crumpled. Even though you'd been expecting this response, it still hurt. She'd been your last bastion of defense; your final hope. Now knowing that you were just as in the dark as you had been coming in made you feel like a fool. You'd disclosed your fears, for nothing.

"I understand." You stood up abruptly, expression blank. "I couldn't possibly have expected you to give me all the answers, especially when you've never experienced this yourself. I'm sorry for taking up your time."

"Hold on a mo—"

"Goodbye."

As quickly as you'd come in, you were gone. The hallways were mostly empty by now; students had scurried out from their classrooms as soon as possible, eager to get home. If nothing else, you were thankful for the quiet, so that no one could see you curl up into a ball and collapse to the ground. The tears came soon enough.

You felt stupid. Incredibly stupid. Rather than speaking to Katsuki head-on and tackling the issue at-hand yourself, you'd been clinging to the hope that someone else could give you all the answers and fix things for you. Yes, you were frightened. But you'd begun to realize that perhaps you were more scared of Katsuki himself than everything that was going on.

Somehow, it just didn't feel right—for you to share your fears and concerns with him. You didn't feel safe telling him things.

You didn't feel like you actually had a voice.

A ragged breath. You were sobbing now. There may have been some stray students loitering around, but you didn't care. You couldn't care less who saw or heard you right now. So long as it wasn't—

"[Name]?"

No. Fucking. Way.

You actually wondered if you were cursed, or you just had the worst luck known to man. Not that it mattered right now anyways. You sniffled loudly, wiping your face with the back of your hand in a wasted attempt to hide your tears. You lifted your face, revealing cheeks that were blotchy and red.

Katsuki was staring down at you, bag slung over his shoulder. You could never tell with him if he was mad, or if his brows were just permanently furrowed. His expression right now looked a bit different though.

He knelt down before you, crimson eyes hardened.

"...Hey. What the fuck is going on?"