I start school on Wednesday and I could not be more devastated. I'm already stressed and there isn't even any stress to stress about yet. And this year is most important cuz colleges look at the grades from this year. Guys I don't even fucking know what college I want to go to. Like I literally just learned how to make pasta today, idk how tf to get into college ??? And I have to be in class with the same people with whom I've gone to school with the past three years. I only like 5 out of those 30 ppl. Most of them are either slightly racist, slightly sexist or slightly homophobic. And there might be a new kid or two but I'm too socially handicap to make new friends. At least I'll get to see my two best friends cuz I haven't seen them all summer. But I'm already depressed about school and I shouldn't be. School is supposed to educate us, not make us miserable. I think that if so many 14 year olds are under so much stress and suffer from anxiety and depression, the school system might be doing smt wrong. Just saying. We would probably learn so much more if school didn't put so much pressure on us. It's unhealthy. They put our test scores first and our health and well being second. And u p much have to go to school unless you're literally dying. Idk about u but I'd rather be healthy and dumb than sick all the time. The worst part is that I am in no way exaggerating. School takes away a lot of sleep, which can make u sick. It stresses you out, and stress is the root of many sicknesses. It puts you under a lot of pressure, which can lead to anxiety. It doesn't give you much time to socialize, which puts your mental health at risk. You don't have time to pursue other hobbies, which causes mental stress. You have deal with teachers constantly putting you down, which will also harm your mental health. You have to deal with bullies and the teachers do nothing about it, which can lead to depression. At school your freedom is taken away and you constantly have to listen to the authority (much like prison) which can cause depression and possibly drive you insane. We get a lot less sunlight at school which can lead to illness. We have to eat shit lunches which can make you sick and we don't get the nutrition our body needs. And when you do get sick, you have to go to school anyways, which slows down the process of getting better all while putting other students at risk of being sick. I can go on for hours about how unhealthy school can make you. And then there's the fact that ur grades don't show how smart you actually are. Taking tests doesn't measure your intelligence, it measures your memory. It tests if you can remember what you were taught in class, not if you actually learnt anything. And that fucking sucks bc colleges are just looking at numbers that represent your memory, not your potential. A lot of intelligent people are just bad at taking tests or bad at studying. For example, I understand what the teacher is saying and I learn p quickly, but I don't get the best grades. I suck at studying cuz I can't concentrate for over a minute. And I'm a v slow person so i never really get to finish the test and I have to rush through the second half. And it doesn't help that I can't concentrate cuz I'll just stare into space for half an hour and the next thing I know we're handing in the test. I don't pay attention and I make stupid little mistakes. And I honestly have a shit memory. I can't remember what I are for breakfast but I'm supposed to remember what I read last night? And I can only concentrate when studying if it's really last minute, so I end up studying at 3am the night before a test. And when I actually study in advance I don't remember what I studied. And I end up getting bad grades. But I'm not a stupid person (most of the time) and the test score doesn't represent my intelligence. Also, everyone learns differently, so why are we given the same test? Each individual person is different and they learn different ways and at different paces, but we're all tested the same way. Tf??! How does that make sense in the slightest way? Aren't we supposed to celebrate our differences and be open minded? Cuz if that's the case, why are you trying to make us all think the same way? I think the fact that everyone has a different way of thinking is beautiful and interesting, so why are we trying to teach everyone to think the same way? And in the end, that's what we're graded on, the way we think and the way we learn. And I'd also like to point out that the teachers don't even bother trying to educate us. They act like we're there for them when in reality, they are there for us. Their job is to teach us, not to just supervise us. And they get mad when we don't listen. Well I'm fucking sorry that I can't pay attention to the same droning monotone voice for an entire hour. Maybe if u tried to be interesting, I would try to listen. When teaching, you need a point of interest so the students might bother remembering the things u say. Like when ur talking about history you can say a fun fact about one of the characters. I mean it is a story after all (hiSTORY) and they were real ppl so I'm sure they had actual personalities you can talk about. Maybe Napoleon did smt silly that would pique my curiosity. Or maybe they did smt horrible that I might remember. Maybe if you told it like a story I might actually care. And science would actually be really interesting if you told me some things that are actually cool along with the boring stuff. This could apply to every subject, so why don't teachers bother? I feel like school could be so much better if they took into consideration the fact that students are people too. I don't think I, or anyone else for that matter, should feel so god damn miserable at school.

Also the part about my camping trip is gonna be late cuz I kinda forgot and now I'm too tired to write it so goodnight