《[✔] Sides (a merthur soulmate au fanfiction)》Chapter 7
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Disclaimer: Not BBC, Johnny Capps, Julian Murphy.
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Chapter 7
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Merlin– all of it Merlin.
Merlin.
Merlin–
He dug his heels in time to avoid crashing against the physician that just took the turn his way. He looked up to meet Gaius's eyes, and launched into his question in less than a second.
"Where's Merlin?"
Gaius looked back at Arthur in a confused way. "I thought he is attending to your needs, sire,"
Arthur lifted his eyebrows, at loss of what to say. Merlin is–? Oh, why was it always so difficult to find this particular manservant of his when he needed him most?
Arthur almost laughed at the thought– it was almost like the old days. In a fraction of a second he already turned on his heels and sprinted to his room.
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Merlin soaked the cloth on a bucket of water he had placed on the chair and proceeded to wipe the King's table clean. Sighing, he applied some pressure and began wiping hard.
He didn't know what Arthur had done on the table, what kind of stupid ink he had knocked over the furniture, or if the substitute manservant had tried to clean it at all. The lad obviously didn't know how to clean a simple wooden table– the ink had dried and it wouldn't come off no matter how hard he wiped it.
"Yeah, don't worry about not being able to clean this impossible ink even though it is your job, my manservant will be back in bit and he'll finish that in no time!" Merlin muttered in annoyance under his breath, impersonating the particular Prince of Camelot.
He applied more pressure and wiped back and forth harder. If the ink didn't come off any second now he probably needed to head back to Gaius and ask him for something to help him do so. "Of course it will be me who finish other people's trouble– trust Arthur to do that, above all people–"
The door banged open all of a sudden.
"Merlin–"
Merlin looked up so quickly that he released his grip on the cloth, stepping back and knocking the chair behind him, splashing a bit of water from the bucket on it to the floor. Arthur himself was torn between sighing, rolling his eyes, barking at how clumsy the oaf in front of him was or laughing at how familiar the circumstances was before a cold prick pressed against his gut and left him silent.
Merlin gasped and bent down to wipe the water clumsily, "sorry– sorry, sorry, I didn't hear you coming–"
Arthur wanted to laugh. Days like these—with Merlin with his irritating clumsy antics and him rolling his eyes at the brunet because he was far beyond exhausted at his servant's incapability to do anything right but he still wouldn't have any other manservant—Arthur would do anything to have it back.
He took a deep breath and blink away moist that was gathering on his eyes.
"Your Majesty," Merlin added silently, avoiding his eyes.
Arthur stayed silent for a while and Merlin looked up to meet his eyes. Arthur expected to find them wide in fear, or alert, ready to fight the moment the blonde made any movement to reach his sword, but instead he found nothing but resignation in the brunet's blue eyes, as though he was ready to accept whatever Arthur had to say.
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Something twisted in his gut.
"You shouldn't be back to work yet, your ankle–"
Arthur inhaled before his voice could twitch.
Merlin laughed. Good old Merlin, laughing at Arthur's every comment, irritating the blonde because the brunet couldn't seem to ever tell a joke from a sarcastic remark, but which trait Arthur secretly adored.
"Oh, don't worry, it'll heal in a day or two. Got all the rest I need– besides, look at the state of this room! I was off for three days and you've somehow managed to turn it into a mess!"
The brunet widened his eyes as he realized what he had just said and Arthur blinked for several times, registering at how familiar the circumstance really was, before he burst into a fit of laughter.
Merlin too cracked a wide smile on his face, something he hadn't done for days, and joined in Arthur's laughter. He felt lightheaded, as though he had just came into a house with fireplace and beer after days walking through the bone-stabbing snow storm. Something warmed inside his gut. Something old, something dear and inseparable from his soul that he thought he had lost forever was finally back in his embrace—to be at Arthur's side, laughing with him and seeing him like this, it was everything Merlin wanted—before it twisted painfully at the memory of a storm, drowning the two of them in a well, and his hand thrusting upwards to bring the bars off their hinges.
He gulped and noticed Arthur had ceased to laugh as well. He looked down, suddenly finding the floor more interesting, while Arthur failed to hide how he was fidgeting with his rings.
Silence suffocated them for a few seconds, and for a moment, they were back in the well, desperate for air.
"I was worried you ran away," Arthur said in a low voice, avoiding the brunet's blue eyes.
Arthur released the breath he didn't know he was holding. He hadn't been able to think clearly for the past three days. Merlin was one of the things he held closest to his heart, and to finally find out that he had been lying to him all these year had shaken his soul. His world turned upside down and he had no sense of direction. But this time, Arthur found it again–the settling knowledge that he had done the right thing, said the right words. It rang of truth like a beaming beacon in the midst of the fog that had descended to his vision.
There was a reason why he had cast away his sword, gathered Merlin up by his legs and lifted him up to climb up the well that night. Why he had pushed through leagues of forests, letting Merlin leaned on his person even though his dislocated shoulder burned like fire. Why the logical thought of sending his guards to secure Merlin to the dungeon had never once crossed his mind even though he was scared out of his wits to the extent that he didn't let himself sleep peacefully on his bed.
He hadn't figured it out, not even before he had this train of thought– but he was never really afraid of Merlin killing him, he'd always known he'd never done that. Perhaps he had always known, deep in his heart.
From the very beginning, the truth was that losing Merlin was the thing that Arthur had feared.
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Unbeknownst to the Prince, his words sent a knife through the brunet's airway, forbidding him to breathe. They were silent for a moment, before Merlin answered.
"I was worried you'd execute me," the brunet replied, just a little louder than a whisper, but Arthur looked up. Merlin looked up to meet his eyes, and there were shame in them.
Shame, and fear, and apology. Arthur was pressing his lips together, but Merlin didn't miss how they quivered slightly.
Arthur turned around to close the door behind him. When he had his back on Merlin, the brunet heard him sniveling. Then he turned, ever so slowly, with his eyes on the floor.
"Everything you've done, I know now, Merlin," Arthur said. Gulping, he steadied his breath.
Merlin just stood there. He wanted to stop Arthur there. Didn't he see he hadn't gone anywhere? He was scared to death Arthur would send his men to his room and collect him, but still he didn't run anywhere. It was as if the young warlock knew Arthur wouldn't do such a thing.
Perhaps he had always known it, deep in his heart.
But he didn't move– he needed to hear it. The thought was so farfetched, and dare he say, dreamlike. He needed to hear Arthur say it, afraid the thought would disappear into thin air.
"Every battle I won, every time I escaped death with my life. It is you who has always been there, no one else. Were it not for you, I didn't know what would become of me, of Camelot."
He was silent for a moment, before adding, with a low voice, "I'm such a fool, Merlin."
He knew it must be hard for Arthur, but he needed to hear it. So he just closed his eyes, letting tears escape his eyelids and slid through the sides of nose.
When Arthur looked up, Merlin was already looking at him, and there were tears on his cheeks– plain, honest, and unhidden. "You are my friend and you are everything that is true in this realm, so, of course I would never execute you, Merlin."
Something broke inside Merlin's chest.
Like a chain. Something so strong and inescapable like the chain that had bound the Great Dragon in the bowels of the castle to the touch of the dragon-forged blade. Like something heavy that he just slid off his back and his wings could finally spread out to its full span, ready to take him soaring into the horizon.
The knife stuck on his airway was being pulled out, and he could finally breathe again. Now, it was his turn to explain.
"You'd probably call me an idiot, but I've never thought of running," Merlin squeaked. They were silent for a moment and the brunet continued. "Well– half-decent princes are hard to come by."
Arthur laughed, and Merlin looked up, grinning wide at Arthur's smile.
"I wasn't that good to you, Merlin," the Prince muttered.
"True," Merlin whispered, looking into Arthur's eyes as they went silent once more, silent apologies passing between them.
Arthur looked back with shame in his eyes. In the light of the recent revelation of Merlin's magic, the brunet knew it had dawned on the blonde before him how one-sidedly unfair was his treatment towards Merlin, the person who saved his backside most of the times, and there was nothing in this world Merlin wanted at the moment other than to close the space between them, hold Arthur's face on his palms, and told him it was alright. He knew Arthur would flinch at his touch, feeling the burn of the unfairness of it all on his skin, although it mattered very little to Merlin. Sure he was a pompous ass most of the day, irritating, and arrogant, but he also wasn't without an honorable disposition and a courageous heart that always put the importance of his people before his own.
He was true in his heart, and Merlin knew it.
So he looked up and his gaze didn't waver when he continued. "But there is nowhere else I'd rather be."
He looked down, playing with the hem of his shirt. "I didn't know what to do with my life, Arthur. I–"
His breath caught, but Merlin pressed on. "I grew up feeling scared and confused. All my life I have to hide because I'd be dead if anyone finds out I have magic. But here– my magic have a purpose here. I'm not useless here. So of course I wouldn't go anywhere."
Merlin looked down and closed his eyes, but he heard Arthur coming closer, his steps slow. When he opened his eyes, Arthur was already in front of him, his arms extended towards him and his gaze never so gentle and honest.
Merlin took his forearm for a handshake, his gaze unfaltering on Arthur's eyes.
No one knew who moved first, but at that precise moment, in between the seconds that stretched into hours as they looked into each other's eyes, something they couldn't control seemed to call out and answer at each other– and before they knew it, they seemed to gravitate towards each other and fell into each other's embrace, warm and safe.
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As it was with his other battles and his other fortunate misses from death, Arthur once again dreamt of that particular night he almost died. The storm was raging outside and he was trapped in that particular four walled well. The waters filled the cavity he was trapped in, pooling around his feet, hitting his face, flowing down the stone walls.
Across of him was Merlin– but this time he looked into the brunet's aquiline eyes and knew.
The brunet's eyes flashed gold, and Arthur smiled.
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A/N: Alright, that's the last chapter, but we still have an epilogue! What do you guys think? I'm sorry if the point of view is a little bit confusing. I noticed it too but this is a very important scene to me and, being the emotional little sap I am, I think both Merlin and Arthur's perspectives are important to this reconciliation scene, so I tried to make the transitions smooth, but oh I don't know. I'm sorry!
So, that leaves us with, (surprise, surprise) the epilogue and the Soulmate revelation! YAY! Ahahahahahh I KNOOOWWWW, oh gods please don't stone me to death for not having them realize they're soulmates until the very last moment! I do love writing angsty tension, apparently. Lords, I must be insane.
Also, thank you for your votes, bookmarks, and comments! I love you all!
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