Alizeh

Tick Tok. Tick Tok. Tick Tok.

I shoot up with another nightmare.

The same clock ticking in my dreams, the same one I had already smashed a thousand times.

I rush to the washroom and vomit out every last bit of food I had yesterday morning. I am not even hungry anymore. I sit down near the wall and hold my legs in my arms.

I feel strong. Powerful. I want to cause destruction.

I look at the blade in my hands as I roll it in my fingers.

I have the power and the control to kill myself if I want. No one else does. But I am not going to because I want this power to last long.

I get up and switch on the shower as I start from my thighs right below Ace's t shirt. It doesn't feel good.

It hurts like a motherfucker. But shit, I feel in control.

"No one loves you, you are just a puppet controlled by your masters" a voice whispers in my head as I press harder.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" Ace whispers.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I am so screwed.

"I cut myself while shaving."

He pauses and asks "You were shaving at 1 in the morning?"

"Yes. Don't come near me." I warn.

"Star."

"Stop right there."

"Star." I look away.

"Wake the fuck up." he yells.

"Don't call me that."

He comes closer to me as I cocoon myself near the edges of a wall.

"If you come any closer, I will cut you with this."

"Go ahead, baby" He walks closer, his arms forward, submitting towards me as I stare at him. He gives me control.

I cut his arm and blood leaks out as he curses me. Tears blind my eyes when I realise what I have done. For the second time in my life.

I try pushing him away as he comes close and hugs me. I hit him, poke his wound but he just doesn't leave my body. Only clutches my waist harder and buries his face in my neck.

I throw an ugly tantrum as he finally pushes me away.

He shakes my shoulders vigorously and thunders "ALIZEH"

I bend down as my back sweeps the wall and sit on the floor. He follows me and crouches down next to me. I try to see any remnants of the angry little boy in him.

His eyebrows twitch as he looks fixedly at me, not wavering even a little.

Hot tears envelope my face as they fall one by one.

Each drop reminds me of what I always will be. Weak, pitiful, fragile. A sorry tragedy.

No, I don't want that.

I get up and wreck the entire bathroom cabinet as he watches me. Steadily. Unfeeling. But his gaze just doesn't move. He looks at me as I shatter the mirror, gets up, forcefully picks me up and drops me in the corner of my bedroom.

Dispassionate. Restrained. Disregardful of my rage and outburst.

I want him to feel too. I want him to cry. To collapse. I need him to. I want to shove him away so I voice his only phobia.

I trigger him.

"You didn't save me" I whisper scornfully.

Shut up. Shut up. Just shut up.

"You could have." I continue.

He doesn't show an ounce of emotion.

He just goes out of the room as I collapse.

The aftermath of destruction- Devastation.

It surrounds me as think of the shitty person I have become. How toxic I am and what a monster I have created.

I had a choice to come out of whatever happened and free myself finally. I chose to stay caged to them- To the past. To my sins and chose the choice again and again and again.

I am surprised as Ace comes back with three ice cubes and puts it on my wound monotonically. I don't have it in me to even look at him.

"Look into my eyes, Star." he whispers softly. I don't.

He pulls my chin up as I stare at his sheer black orbs treacherously glinting at me. Excitement bubbles into my stomach.

I take the ice and put it on his arm.

"No my little monster. Only you get to clean the mess you created."

He puts his arm in front of lips and orders "Suck"

I suck his blood as I lick every inch of it. I let my tongue show my guilt, my regret and my undeniable love for him.

He pulls me by my hair and cups my jaw, "Do you want it to hurt?"

"Yes" I nod my head as anticipation bubbles inside me.

He throws me on the bed and rips his t-shirt off me as I struggle to catch my breath. My head hurts as he takes his hand and places it in my hair. He bites my neck as I let out a whimper. Then everything just goes uncontrollable.

"I will fuck you till all you remember is my name" he promises.

It was barbaric. It was horrific. It was delicious.

He ties my arms and places it above my head. Ace just goes mad.

He licks, bites and tugs every inch of my body as I feel hot. He teases two fingers inside of me when I shake wildly but he doesn't let me cum. He takes out his shorts as my hands struggle to break free.

Without a warning Ace pushes his entire length into my body as it trembles. He is unforgiving in his thrusts as he goes in and out. I shriek out his name and my voice quivers.

"Ace I can feel you in my stomach" I manage to shake out.

"Yeah baby?" he moans.

"I think you can feel me in here too." he says as he points to my heart.

I let out a sob.

All that existed was him, all I felt, hoped, breathed, wanted, and saw was and always will be him.

He goes in and again and tortures me rolling around as I let out a shout. He whips my body as my back faces him.

He puts his fingers in as the other hand crawls all over my back, making me melt into a puddle.

In one go, he fucks me senseless making my core throb with need. He is ruthless and unsparing creating his own artwork all over my skin. When my butt jiggles, he spanks it and holds it still, till I call out his name again and again until my voice goes hoarse.

He bends over my back and applies pressure.

"Who owns you?" he asks.

I don't comply with his request cause I like a little foreplay.

He tugs my hair harder as his dick barges inside my body and pulls out until I can't see straight.

He delivers his promise. I don't even remember my own name.

All I remember is him.

"Ace." I shout as he kisses my ear.

"I want to see you" he says as pulls my body towards him. He kisses me as his mouth oscillate between my tongue and my throat.

"I would kill for you, Star. I have killed for you. Don't undermine me by fearing others. Fear me. Let me rule you" he whispers as he pulls away.

I look at him as my heart shatters out of my body. This might just be the sweetest thing that would ever come out of him.

"Tie me, tease me, let your pleasure please me. Hurt me, love me, but please. Just don't ever leave me." I manage to say as he kisses my forehead.

We both cum as we call out our names, hold onto each other and promise to survive. Strong. Just like we always have.

I am exhausted would be a statement of subtlety. I only remember his face in my mind as I close my eyes.

He continues pecking my shoulders till I turn towards him and stroke his jaw with my fingers.

"I am sorry, Ace. I really didn't mean it."

"I know" he replies as he searches something in my eye.

"I love you" I murmur into his ear as he pulls me impossibly close to my body.

He doesn't seem surprised. Shocker.

He smiles into my forehead and says "I love me too"

I push him away and laugh, lazily.

"Why did you not hurt me back? Are you scared?" I ask him what I have been wanting to since so long.

"I'm not afraid of hurting you, Star. I'm afraid of how far I'm willing to go and how far you are willing to endure it." he replies as his finger traces my lips.

He looks at me as if he is trying to alert me, I look at him like I am ready to devour his darkness.

"I want a new label. One that says, girlfriend who is willing to do anything: ranging from being tied, spanked, and fucked all over other than being adored."

He laughs. A stunning laugh.

I don't know if I should be proud that he laughed so much or hurt that he took it as a joke.

"After all we have been through, you want to be my girlfriend?" he smiles.

I look at him shocked like I am ready to fight and shred him to pieces if he says no.

"You-"

He doesn't let me speak and muffles my mouth with his hand saying "Star, the only things I know in my life are protecting you, hunting those who hurt you, ravaging you and giving you the life you deserve. And I will continue to give you the corpses of the men who hurt you. My fortune is yours. My secrets are yours. My life is yours."

I internally scream at his words as my throat clogs. I try to reason out a reply but he beats me to it.

"If you cry one more time, I swear to god" he exclaims.

I think he is just embarrassed.

"Aw, do I get you in your feels" I smirk as I kiss him all over his jaw.

"On a second thought I know a way I would love to see you cry" he declares tugging the blanket over us, burying me in him.

"Ace, I have no-"

He interrupts me as he puts two fingers inside me.

"Oh my, Aceeee" I yelp.

He smiles smugly and doesn't let me come up for air even after the sun rises.

Who do you guys like better Ace or Star??