"What?" I frown in disbelief, trying to keep my voice as low as possible.

I was currently in the backyard, while everyone had walked back in. After Ryder stopped whimpering about his junior in pain, Dylan helped him on his feet.

The guilt was there but it was overpowered by the amusement I felt for the situation.

I was about to follow them inside when I got a call from Ron. I made sure that no one noticed me falling behind and stepped back to answer the call.

"Are you sure?" I repeated, voicing the disbelief that I felt.

"Yes! I've hacked into very secure intel because it was troubling me too. But honestly, even I didn't expect what I found." Ron said, breaking into a yawn.

I chuckled. "I knew you could do it. Your curiosity always works positively for me."

"I will not sit here and be exploited, mudhead." He yelled, in his usually irritated tone.

I simply chuckled. "You'll get your share as promised, don't worry."

"As I should, you troublesome mole!" He yelled, while I simply chuckled.

"And I'm guessing your answer remains the same for anger management?" I asked while he broke into yelling profanities.

"Alright. I'll call you later, grandpa!"

"You little-"

I hung up and tucked my phone in my pocket before walking into the house with the new hope of getting out of this gang situated.

Alex King huh?

I smirked.

*****

I can't help but feel like I messed up.

It's all wrong.

It was supposed to be perfect. I was supposed to take her on dates, treat her the way she's supposed to be treated.

Then I was supposed to confess to her about the undying love I have for her, since we were kids.

I didn't want to scare her.

But guess what I just did?

I scared her.

Why am I so useless?

'Good question. So, basically it starts with you being born and-'

I groaned, before an elbow digging into my side.

"What?" I snapped at Dylan, who gave me a bored look.

"Everyone's leaving, dumbass." He said, getting up before I noticed that everyone was up on their feet.

Miles and Perri came down the stairs after having checked on Cole one last time.

Miles caught my gaze and looked away after a second.

I sighed as I realised how badly I messed up.

"Be safe on the way home, kids." Said Julie, Dylan and Cole's mom with a warm smile on her face. "And it was so nice to see you after so long, Emily. You've grown so much." She said, grabbing her hand while she smiles brightly in return making me feel warm in my heart.

"It's good to be back, Julie." Miles said.

After the little incident in the backyard, I came back in the house, courtesy of Dylan and Miles followed after a few minutes.

I frowned upon it for a while, when Perri joined us in the living room without a word about Cole. It didn't look like something went wrong as such, because she didn't seem upset.

We exchanged confused glances, before shrugging and getting back to just lounging and talking like lazy teenagers.

It was now time to leave and I couldn't help but feel irritated by the sudden awkwardness between Miles and I.

"Hey Mill!" Connor's voice echoed through the chatter as I looked to see Dylan trying to subtly step away from him.

I narrowed my eyes at him.

Miles turned to Connor with her eyebrows raised. "Why don't you give Ryder a ride home, since you live on the same block?"

Miles froze before turning to me. "You don't have a ride home?"

It took me a second to get over the fact that she spoke to me and then I rubbed the back of my neck as my nervous habit. "Not really... But it's fine I can-"

"Alright. Come on, then." She said, motioning for me to follow her and walked to the front door.

I stood there blinking when I felt someone push me forward. "Go! What are you waiting for?" Connor said, slinging an arm over Antonio's shoulder.

I turned to Lexi. "I'll catch a ride with Connor. Just go." She rolled her eyes.

Everyone looked at me with encouraging smiles making me realise how big of a dick I was being and made a mental note to apologise to Connor, the next time I meet him.

I jogged out of the front door with one last look at everyone.

I couldn't even say goodbye to Cole, but I know he'll understand.

Sorry Cole.

What's surprising was the whole truth about that night of the Christmas Eve. I can't help but feel, even worse about myself as I accused her of shitty things when in the end, as always, she was the victim.

I can't believe the fact that she hid all of this from me and everyone else.

I can't begin to imagine what she must've gone through on her own.

"Want me to drive?" I said, cautiously walking behind her.

"Nah." She simply said, unlocking her car and getting in.

I sighed before doing the same. Our house is about 20 minutes away from the twins' place.

"Miles..." I said, before I could talk myself out of it.

She hummed, backing out of the driveway.

Before I could speak though she spoke up. "Where's your bike? You didn't drive it to school today?"

My lips parted and froze as I wasn't ready for this question to be thrown at me suddenly.

"Uh... I haven't driven it in a while." I muttered, before continuing. "My car is getting fixed so I can drive that, soon."

"Wait, back up. You haven't driven your bike?" She asked, frowning, while keeping her eyes on the road.

I hummed in response as nodding wasn't an option.

"Why?" She asked, glancing at me for a second.

I bit the inside of my cheek befor answering in the most convincing tone possible. "It gets boring after a while."

When I didn't hear a response I glanced at her to see her driving with her eyebrows furrowed. I habit of her when she's thinking hard about something.

"Since when?" She asked.

I blinked at her before clearing my throat. "I don't know. It was spontaneous."

She glanced at me, making me look away.

'You coward.'

I rolled my eyes at my conscience.

The tires of the car screeched to a stop making me jerk forward. "What the fuck?!" I exclaimed.

I noticed how Miles had stopped the car on the side of a road.

I looked at her to see her turned in a way that she was facing me.

"Ryder..." She started in a tone that made me realise how serious this conversation is. "Let's talk okay? It's going to be hard since we haven't done it in a while."

"We talk, everyday...?" I said, and it came out sounding like a question.

"You know what I mean." She said, sighing. "Real talk. All truth. Hiding nothing."

"Can you do that?" I asked, almost instantly and in a pretty sharp tone.

She nodded. "Yeah, I know why you wouldn't trust me on this but... I'm tired. I'm tired of all the games, the secrets and the past."

She said, and I could see the defeat in her eyes.

"It's almost like I'm dragging my past along with me, because I'm too scared to talk about it. It's just there. It's stuck to me." She said, growing irritated.

I moved forward to grab her hand and rubbed it in a soothing motion.

"I haven't rode my bike since the day I played that cynical prank." I said.

I understood what she was saying because I myself have felt the need to let things out, to let the past out.

She looked up at me. "Why?"

I looked down at our adjoined hands. "Because I know how much you hate that damn thing." I said, quoting her words.

A small smile grew on her lips as she smacked my shoulder. "This isn't funny."

I could see her trying to contain her own smile and that made butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"I know I know. I just try to make you laugh because you hate feeling awkward." I said, and instantly shut my mouth as soon as I realised what I just said. "Sorry..."

I ducked my head, when I felt a hand ruffling my hair. "Thank you."

I raised my head in confusion.

"I feel like there's a lot I need to thank you for. But for now, thanks for knowing me so well." She said, with a warm smile.

Her smile made my heart race automatically and I placed her hand on my cheek. "You know? Sometimes I still don't believe that you're back. It almost feels like I'm dreaming and when I finally wake up, you'll be gone."

She frowns slightly.

"And I so badly don't wanna wake up." I said, shutting my eyes.

She used her hand to lift my head to make me face her. "You won't. I'm here."

"How are you so sure?" I asked as couldn't help but gravitate towards her.

I want to touch her, so bad.

But she still hasn't acknowledged what I said earlier and I don't know if that's a good sign or not.

"I took an 11 hour flight and very much felt the jetlag. I'm pretty sure I'm here." She said, with amusement dancing in her eyes.

I chuckled, placing a kiss on the palm of her hand before placing it back on my cheek.

'Yup. You're a baby.'

Sheesh...

"So, are we just gonna keep pretending that I never said, what I said earlier?" I asked, nonchalantly, trying not to scare her further.

The amusement in her eyes was lost and that gave me the sign that I was so desperately trying to avoid.

"Listen, I swear, I didn't wanna scare you. Hell, I was the one who said that we should take it slow and here I am getting kicked in the nuts after a love confession. What I'm trying to say is, it just came out in the heat of the moment, and you really don't need to feel obliged to answer-"

Suddenly a hand was placed on my mouth stopping me from rambling any further.

"Calm down Ryder. You have no idea how happy you make me. You do. And as I said, I mean every word I say." She said, looking me in the eyes. "But..."

She gulped, as a sad smile took over her face. "I've gotten myself in a situation and I really really don't want to drag you into it..." I opened my mouth to protest but she pressed her hand harder over my mouth. "... no matter what you say."

I grabbed her hand and held it in mine. "What situation?" I asked, and I noticed the turmoil in her eyes. "Please." She looked at me, with troubled eyes. "Real talk, remember?"

She sighed.

"I'm being followed."

My eyes widened. "Again?"

She frowned. "Again? Oh again!" She snapped her fingers in realisation. "Right you guys were with me once. I'm being followed for a while now, actually. It's safe to assume that all my actions are being monitored."

I don't think my eyes could open any further but they somehow did. "Miles? Do you hear yourself right now?" I asked her.

"I do." She frowned.

"How can you say things like this so easily?" I asked, glancing out of the car for anything suspicious.

"Don't even bother, you won't notice it. Also, calm down, will you?" She said cupping my cheeks again. "Relax. I can handle it. I have handled it, more or less."

"What does that even mean?"

My mind was all over the place.

When I started this conversation, this is the least possible scenario I imagined.

"Listen, I basically made a deal, to fight for someone which means that they get most of my prize money. And because no one can be trusted in deals like this, they monitor my every move." She said, looking down, then back at me.

"But-"

"They already know of my weaknesses, or at least they have an idea about it. So, I can't put you in any more danger than you already are in, because of me." She said, with a sad smile. "Which is why your idea of taking it slow seemed pretty ideal to me. If you are okay with it obvio-"

I sighed, grabbing her by the back of her neck and pulling her to my chest.

"Miles..." I breathed out. "You're still worrying about irrelevant things. I've waited for you for years, and I'd wait for you for a dozen more if I have to but, I really can't see you get hurt."

She breathed into my neck making me heart rate increase it's pace. "Ryder, this is the only way out of it."

"What if I disagree?" I muttered.

"To what?" She asked, grabbing my t-shirt in her fist.

"To all of it." I said, finally voicing my discomfort.

She moved away just enough to look at my face. "Even to the 'taking it slow' part."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Everything except that part."

I pulled her head back to my chest.

It took her a moment, before she sighed, tightening her hold on me. "I would still do what I think is right, in order to keep you safe."

It took me a moment to register all the information while I stroke her hair.

I wrapped my arm tighter around her as I am reminded of how it felt to have lost her the last time and I knew exactly what I had to do, now.

"Fine." I finally said, into her hair.

"Fine?" She mumbled, moving slightly away, just enough to look at me.

I tucked her hair behind her ear as I scanned her beautiful self.

I nodded. "Yeah, as I said. I'm here for you and I'll always be here for you, no matter how much you try to push me away."

Her gaze lowered while I grabbed her chin and raised her head to face me. "Which also means that I'll accompany you to your fights."

"What?!" She exclaimed, moving back in surprise.

"What?" I asked nonchalantly.

"Ryder, no." She said, shaking her head. "There's no way I'm taking you anywhere near that place."

"Why not? Is it that weird for your potential boyfriend wanting to make sure that you're safe?" I frowned, as I tried to suppress the smirk threatening to grow on my lips.

She opened her mouth to fire back with, probably, a crude comment but I could almost hear her brain come to a screeching stop as she froze.

She sat there just looking at me with her mouth opening and closing like a fish.

The smirk on my face grew despite my resistance and she finally cleared her throat.

"No. I still can't agree to this." She said, shaking her head slightly. "I'm doing all of this to keep you guys safe and you being there would only make matters worse."

"Miles... It'll be fine." I held her hand again. "It's not like I'm gonna be in the spotlight, there are tons of people in that arena, I'll just blend in. I just need to be there."

"Ryder, you don't understand. It's a gang I'm dealing with. An actual gang and I can't... I can't lose you." She said.

"And I can't lose you again. I've already lost you once because of my stupid self and that's one thing I will always regret doing. Please let me make up for it." I said, desperation clear in my tone.

She sighed. "I can't win, can I?"

"You've won my heart...?" I said, trying to lighten the mood, a little bit, all the while saying the absolute truth.

She scoffed. "You are a sly ass."

"Oh I know." I chuckled, pulling her to me from over the middle and onto my lap.

I looked up at her wide eyes and I couldn't help but feel captivated by them.

"Ryder?" Her voice was so smooth that I almost melted.

I hummed in response.

"Can you let go of me?" She said, motioning towards my arms wrapped tightly around her tiny waist.

"Never." Was my instant response.

She bit her lip making me lose all sense of control.

I placed my lips on her and pulled her lip away from her teeth.

She gasped in surprise but didn't push me away.

As always she tasted heavenly as I continued to kiss her softly with keeping my hands in respectful areas as this girl can easily make me lose control.

Her hands went into my hair and a sound of pleasure escaped my lips as she gave it a little tug.

We pulled away after a few minutes, breathing heavily but I wasn't ready to move away from her yet. I started to place open mouthed kisses along her jaw before going down to her throat.

She tasted so sweet that I just couldn't have enough.

I reached the crook of her neck and her sweet spot and sucked on that area while massaging the revealed skin of her waist with my hands.

A soft sound of pleasure escaped her mouth as I continued my assault on her neck.

"How is this... taking it slow?" She breathed out between soft moans making me chuckle into her neck.

She shivered at that and I placed one last kiss on her lips before pulling away to look at her face.

"I guess, we're both pretty bad at it." I said, tucking her hair behind her ear, admiring the little red piece of art that I've left on her neck.

Thankfully she didn't notice because she definitely would get mad, my balls won't be able to survive more abusive effects.

She rolled her eyes at me before getting off me and moving to the driver's seat.

She ignored my sounds of protest and put on her seatbelt, after fixing her hair.

"What do you think happened with Cole and Perri?" She asked, pulling into the road.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I have no idea."

"Cole does like her right? Or am I just seeing things?" She asked frowning.

"Of course he does, it's been years. But he's too self conscious and he underestimates himself like no one else." I said, looking out of the window as the trees passed by. "He somehow thinks that every guy Perri has dated was a lot better than him and that there's some sort of a benchmark that he can't reach. So he just sits by the sidelines."

"That's so not true. Did you tell him that?" She asked, glancing at me.

"I did. But I can also understand where he's coming from, you know? He's seen Perri date guys and get hurt by them. He's always been the kind of guy who needs reassurance but well he just doesn't think that Perri would ever like him back. So, he just came to terms with the fact." I said, shaking my head in disappointment.

"Without even trying?" She frowned.

"Miles, they're childhood friends. Trying means ruining their friendship." I said.

"We were childhood friends." She said, making a turn into our block.

"Our situations made us take the chance, Miles. It's not the same for them. They haven't been apart or felt the fear of being separated to one another." I said, as the last three horrifying years flashed before my eyes.

The car came to a halt in front of my house when she turned to me with a small smile. "You're right, they haven't."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "Miles...?"

"What?" She asked, feigning innosence.

Her big blue eyes sparkled due to the street lights and I couldn't help but smile at her.

I shook my head. "Just be careful at whatever you do. And on that note, since we're being reckless for today...."