I took a deep breath in, repeating the action for the 6th time.

It's okay. It's just Alec.

I thought as I stood in front of the door to his room.

I felt this restlessness since he walked out on me yesterday and I couldn't help but feel guilty about being an ass.

I woke up today in a very warm and comfortable cocoon of Ryder's arms. My back was pressed up against his chest and his face was squished into my neck with his warm breath making shivers rise on my body.

I turned in his arms and couldn't help but stare at his perfect face, like the creep that I am.

He looked so peaceful sleeping there in my bed that I couldn't find it in me to wake him up so I somehow untangled myself from him, without waking him up and freshened up before walking towards Alec's room.

After procrastinating for about 5 minutes, I gathered my courage and grabbed the door's handle, and walked in.

Yeah knocking is just not a thing for us.

I saw him sprawled across the bed on his stomach like a fucking starfish.

I rolled my eyes and thought for a minute whether I should let him sleep and just come back later.

Nah. He's a morning person.

I shrugged before walking towards his bed.

Also, if I don't talk to him right now, I might overthink and probably kill myself.

I reached him and pursed my lips before shrugging and smacking his bare back as hard as I can, which was probably a bad idea, since he's already mad at me.

It's a habit.

The loud smack sound was followed by a very girly shriek as Alec jerked up and sat on the bed, wincing in pain.

He finally opened his eyes, looking for the culprit. When his eyes landed on me, his glare intensified, while I smiled at him nervously.

"Hey, Alec, whom I love so much." I said, lightly nudging his shoulder.

He kept glaring at me. "Do you want to get yourself killed?"

I chuckled nervously. "No. Why would you say that?"

He ran a hand through his hair, letting out an irritated sigh. "What do you want Emily?" He asked, shifting to grab his shirt from the side.

"I kinda got the feeling that you could be mad at me." I said, awkwardly scratching my head. "Just a feeling..."

"Really?" He said, really stressing on the word, making me think that it was not just a feeling. "Why would you possibly think that?"

His tone was dripping with sarcasm as he sat on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed over his chest.

He had an accusing look in his eyes, making me feel the guilt in me getting heavier.

I sighed. "Alright, Alec I'm sorry, okay? But it really was inevitable. Those people have been following me for a while now but I managed to escape everytime."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" He raised his eyebrows in disbelief, while I just felt defeated.

I didn't know what to tell him, anymore.

"Emily." He started, looking at me sternly. "I'm your older brother okay? And I let you sneak out to fight because your anger management weren't doing you any good, so I am the one responsible for what happens to you out there."

"But I'm fine." I said, grabbing his hand.

"That's not the point Emily. You were taken away." He said. His voice going up another octave. "Do you know what you're asking of me? I'm sorry, but I'm not okay with you getting involved in things that have such dangerous consequences."

He shook his head, while I stood there speechless.

If there's one thing that I hate about myself the most, it's the fact that I realise stuff. I, so quickly, have self realisation about things that I know whenever I'm supposed to be held accountable.

I hate being a good person.

And at this exact moment, I realised how selfish I'm being with Alec.

I looked down as guilt slowly took over me.

"You're right. I'm sorry." I sighed, looking up at him. "I'm not asking you to be okay with it, though. I've taken care of it. It probably won't happen again."

"Probably?" Alec said in disbelief before narrowing his eyes at me. "What did you do?" He fired instantly.

I bit the side of my mouth.

Damn it. He knows me too well.

"You can't lie, so don't even try to use your evil brain." He added, making me roll my eyes.

"I made a deal." I muttered.

"With whom?" He frowned.

"With the gangleader." I shrugged as if it's the most normal thing ever.

"With the who!?" He exclaimed, making me hush him.

"Can you be any fucking louder?" I whisper yelled making him narrow his eyes at me. "Calm down. It's just a normal deal, he gets a share from some of my fights and I won't have to join his gang."

"You're going to fight for him?" He exclaimed, standing up from the bed.

I opened my mouth to retort when the sound of a door opening caught our attention.

My head snapped to the direction of the sound and I was met with Lexi clad in a towel, exiting Alec's bathroom.

Her eyes widened as they met my equally wide one's.

Alec had froze where he was, and I could almost feel the panic radiating off of him.

Almost a minute passed with none of us saying anything.

God!

I cleared my throat.

"Hey, Lex," I chuckled, awkwardly. "You probably slept in the guest room where the shower doesn't work, right?"

Her eyes lit up as she quickly nodded. "Yes! Yes, you're right."

I nodded, while she walked back in the bathroom, probably to put on her clothes.

I couldn't help but be thankful for the sudden distraction as I looked back at Alec.

"So, we good?" I asked, hopefully smiling at him.

"Emily..." He sighed.

"Alec..." I said, grabbing his hand again. I looked at him with my infamous puppy dog eyes. "I'll be fine. I've been fighting for years, you know that."

He looked down at me sternly for a moment before, sighing and I could see his eyes soften. "I know. But you should know that I'm zero percent okay with you getting hurt. So if this happens again, I'm not gonna be so understanding, anymore."

I nudged his shoulder with my finger, playfully. "I understand, captain."

"You should." He nudged me back, a little harder. "You're all I have left."

He looked at me with sad eyes while my smile faltered.

"You say it, like it's a bad thing." I said, forcing a laugh.

He chuckled, before opening his arms wide. "Come here."

"Ew." I grimaced, looking at him, while he rolled his eyes and pulled me into a hug anyway.

A warm smile grew on my face as I tapped my feet on the floor while tightly hugging him.

It's something I've been doing since I was a kid.

"How's your wound now?" He asked pulling away and making me sit on the bed.

"It's fine. Doesn't hurt that much." I shrugged.

Alec crouched down to check on my bandaged thigh, while nodding. "That's good. I'm gonna change the dressing once you've had breakfast, okay?"

I nodded, and stood up along with him when a searing pain shot up in my stomach.

"Oof!" I gasped, before bending to take the bed's support, so that I don't fall.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Alec asked, worried.

"I don-" Another wave of the same pain hit me making me gasp and crouch down on the floor. "Fuck! Am I finally dying?"

"Emily! You don't know when to shut up, do you?" Alec exclaimed, coming down to my level.

The sound of a door bursting open echoed through the room and I looked over to see a worried looking Ryder, rushing into the room. "What's wrong?"

Alec narrowed his eyes at him. "How long have you been standing out there?"

"Doesn't matter." Ryder quickly replied. "What's wrong with her?"

"I don't remember seeing you in any of the guest rooms last night..." Alec said, in an accusing tone.

"I don't see how that matters right now." Ryder said, matching Alec's intense glare.

My eyes widened slightly as I could almost hear the cogs turning in Alec's head.

"Aaah" I winced, grabbing their attention as they reached to grab my arms at the same time.

"Move." Alec ordered, trying to swat Ryder's hand away from me.

"No. I'm here to help." Ryder replied, keeping his firm grip on me.

Alec let out a chuckle. "This isn't community service, kid."

"Hey!" I weakly protested, still wincing on the floor.

I couldn't help but feel irritated at their complete ignorance towards me.

"I said, I'm helping." Ryder said sternly, as they both glared at each other, completely ignoring my existence.

Alec grabbed onto Ryder's hand on my shoulder, narrowing his eyes in warning. "How about you help yourself out of this room?"

Ryder smirked in return. "I don't think so."

My nose flared at their childish behaviour and I suddenly had this urge to bash someone's head into a wall.

"SHUT UP. BOTH OF YOU!" I yelled, swatting both of their hands away, making them jerk back and fall on their butts.

I used the bed as support to stand up, while they both looked at me wide-eyed.

I winced a little as another wave of pain shot up. They stood up on their feet and reached out to me, but I moved away.

"Stand back. Both of you, five-year old kids." I hissed, slowly making my way towards the washroom.

I took weak steps towards Alec's bathroom and knocked on the door. "Open up. I know you're listening."

It took a moment for a guilty looking Lex to open the door. "What's up?"

I glanced back at the boys, who were both looking at me with worried looks. "You wanna help?"

They shrugged in response making me smirk. "Go buy me tampons."

I intently focused on both of their faces.

Alec grimaced before sighing, while Ryder looked unaffected.

"Okay." They said in unison, making my eyebrows shoot up.

"What?"

They were both glaring at each other, before looking back at me. "What?" They said in unison, again.

Then resumed to glare at each other.

"That was supposed to make you uncomfortable." I muttered, before turning back to Lex. "Do you have one on you?"

She nodded before going back in and digging out a tampon from her toiletries bag.

My gaze remained at the bag as she handed it to me, awkwardly. "I uh I needed my shampoo from the bag, so I brought the whole thing." She quickly said.

I let out an awkward chuckle before nodding.

I suddenly winced as another wave of pain hit me, making me bend a little and weakly walk towards the door.

"I'm guessing you'll drop her home?" I asked Alec weakly, as he nodded waving his hand dismissively.

"You take your meds, once you've had breakfast." He reminded me, before turning to Ryder and pointing at him. "And you, go home."

"Alec!" I said, weakly, still in pain.

Ryder rolled his eyes before walking towards me.

I looked at him with a frown, when he bent down, placing an arm on the back of my knees and picking me up bridal style.

I yelped, before wrapping my arms around his neck.

"I'll stay with her while you're gone." Ryder said, turning to Alec.

They maintained eye contact for a few seconds before Alec glanced at me and sighed.

"Fine. But try anything and I'll give you a painful death." Alec said in a warning tone, making Ryder roll his eyes.

"Whatever." Ryder muttered before turning to walk towards my room.

I quickly waved goodbye to Lex.

Ryder walked into my room, and placed me on my feet. I walked into the bathroom, without another word.

I heard the door to my room open and close, and I took that as a sign that Ryder probably left.

I don't blame him. It's been a very exhausting weekend.

But I did want to talk to him about last night, if there was anything to talk about obviously.

I guess that will have to wait.

I quickly did my business and swallowed a painkiller before walking out only to be startled by seeing Ryder still sitting on my bed.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with a hand on my chest. "I thought you left."

He shook his head before standing up and handing me a packet. "I got you some... uh... supplies?" He stuttered as pink crept up his cheeks.

I looked at him, amused before checking to see several packets of tampons and a whole array of chocolates and candies.

I chuckled before looking at him, only to see him placing a tray on my bed. "I also brought you breakfast." He said scratching the back of my head.

My eyebrows raised in surprise. "How long was I in there?" I asked, confused.

"You're just a slow poke." Ryder rolled his eyes. "Come on now, eat up."

I took my time with my breakfast while Ryder and I talked about literally anything.

It got to the part where I had to explain to him what happened to me last night and how I took care of it. I obviously chose my words wisely, so I don't cause any more trouble in his normal life.

"Here." He handed me pills from my side table before taking away the tray from my room.

"So..." I sighed, as he took a seat beside me.

"So... Wanna watch something?" He asked, grabbing the remote.

I rolled my eyes, snatching the remote out of his hand, before he could turn on the TV.

He looked at my stern expression and his frown fell. "I'll take that as a no. What's up?"

I ran a hand throught my hair. "We need to talk."

"Are you breaking up with me?" He immediately asked, making my eyes widen.

"We aren't dating in the first place?" I said, exasperated.

He narrowed his eyes at me. "We do need to talk. Why aren't we dating?"

If my eyes could open any wider, they would but they were already wide as saucers. "Wha- Are you- What?!" I stuttered, making him chuckle slightly.

"Calm down, princess, I can literally hear your brain, malfunctioning right now." He said, squeezing my shoulders, reassuringly.

I swat his hands away. "How can you say things like this so easily? I had to prepare a script to talk to you about last night." I said throwing my hands up in frustration.

He chuckled before adjusting to sit facing me and took my hands in his, pulling me closer. "It's okay. I just don't think as much as you do. Now, tell me, what was your script?" He said, trying hard to suppress his smile.

I gave him a deadpanned look, before smacking his arm. "Forget it." I huffed before moving to get off the bed.

I didn't know where I was going, since I had literally nothing to do. I will probably go down to the living room and sprawl on the couch.

Welcome, to the life of a potato.

I scooted to the edge but I couldn't reach the floor as arms went around my waist and pulled me back to a rock hard chest.

A small gasp escaped my lips as I felt his chest muscle tense up against my back. Both his hands were around my waist, constricting me from moving.

"We're not done talking, beautiful." He breathed out. His hot breath fanning my neck as he had placed his head right in the crook of my neck. "I promise I won't make fun of you again."

I took a moment to gather my thoughts and opened my mouth. "I don't know what to say anymore." I breathed out, truthfully.

"Oh no, come on. You wanted to talk about last night, right?" He asked, turning his head to the side to look at me.

I nodded, hesitantly.

"Okay, then let's talk." He said, making me frown. "I'll start, I meant every single word I said, last night."

He said, placing his head on my shoulder again, making me shiver slightly. I looked at him with soft eyes.

"You're supposed to get over them when you grow up."

His voice from last night was stuck in my head, but I knew that no amout of overthinking would help me find the answers that I was looking for.

"I never got over you."

"What about you?" His voice brought me out of my trance, and I was met with his hopeful eyes staring back at me.

He was trying to look and sound confident but I could see the hidden hesitation in his eyes.

I turned my head to look at him with a small, but confident smile.

"Just so you know, you're not just my childhood crush either."

"I meant every word, too." I said, and I could physically see relief seep into his body.

I had realised this a while ago, that I never really got over him. While I was in London, I painted a picture of him growing up to be a jerk so that I can peacefully hate him.

But what I came back to, was no different from the Ryder I knew three years ago.

His smile widened as he bent down to place a small kiss on my nose. "Great then, we're on the same page." He said, before grabbing the remote off the side table.

I gaped at him as he leaned back with me in his arms and got comfortable, with his arms wrapped tightly around my waist.

"What?" I said, trying to move away but his grip on me was firm.

"What?" He asked, feigning innosence.

My jaw clenched and I raised my hand to smack the shit out of him when he slowly grabbed it bringing it down. "Alright okay, I'm sorry. I know we're not done here."

I narrowed my eyes at him but he simply placed a lingering kiss on my forehead, making butterflies erupt in my stomach.

"I swear I'm not playing with you, beautiful." He said, placing his head where my neck and my shoulder meets. "Hell, I'm not even capable of doing that."

His hand was going up and down my arm, making goosebumps rise on my body. "I have every intention of making you mine, Miles."

Our eyes met and I was so grateful that I was lying on my bed because if I was on my feet I wouldn't fallen on my face.

My body literally felt like jello in his arms.

"But it took me, what? 6 years to confess to you?" He said, making me scoff and roll my eyes. "Exactly. So I wanna do this right. You deserve it."

"Were you always this cheesy?" I asked, raising an amused eyebrow at him.

He rolled his eyes. "Just for you, dumbass." He said, making me gasp.

"You can't call your crush, that."

"Really? So, that applies on the both of us?" He raised his eyebrows in challenge.

I rolled my eyes. "Forget it."

I got comfortable in his arms as he chuckled and placed another kiss on my forehead, before turning on the TV.

This is nice. I could get used to this.