*Hands over an Oreo*

The truth always hurts.

Does it?

Does everyone go through the same shit whenever there's truth involved?

I've seen many glorified versions of the revelation of truths in dramas where one person decides to tell the truth and everyone ends up happy.

How does that even happen? It's bullshit.

Because in reality, truth ends up making things complicated to the point where no one knows what to do anymore.

It's been a week since I was discharged from the hospital and it's safe to say that Ryder has been trying to avoid me.

The rest of the group was there when I woke up and they made sure I was feeling better before we talked about what happened that night.

They were all super understanding and managed to make me smile. I feel like I've grown a lot closer to everyone after this incident, except Ryder as I still don't know what position we were in anymore.

He hasn't been around much and his football practice for the upcoming game has helped him do that, very subtly.

He runs away to the field as soon as school is over and he isn't as playful as he used to be, at least around me, and that surprisingly feels weird.

It's Saturday and everyone has decided to meet up at Ryder's place for some reason. I have no idea why, but I think it was Cole's idea.

I tried making excuses to back out but no one would have it so here I am, about to walk up the steps to Ryder's door.

"Hey, wait up!"

A voice called from behind me as I turned to see Mia rushing towards me.

She reached me, panting. "Hi!" She said between breaths.

"Hi, very unfit person." I said, with a teasing smile.

"Oh shut up." She rolled her eyes, winding her hand around mine as we walked together to the front door. "Come on."

I rang the doorbell and the door swung open to reveal a hyper looking Dylan.

"Hello ladies." He sang, bowing to exaggerate his stupid British accent.

I rolled my eyes at him, walking in. "Howdy." I said making him frown and Mia burst out laughing.

Dylan then led us towards the living room and disappeared in the kitchen, probably to empty out the pantry.

I have been wondering how awkward it would be with the two of us in the same room after that incident at the hospital.

'Well, you're about to find out.'

My thoughts were cut off by booming laughter as we walked closer to the living room, making me frown.

That's weird.

And sounds familiar.

Mia and I exchanged confused looks before entering the living room only to see two figures on the couch, laughing at God knows what.

One figure was very familiar as it was my ex best friend Ryder while the other was a beautiful girl with shiny brown hair.

Okay, definitely not what I expected.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, making me realise that I've been staring at them for too long and snapped my head towards Mia.

She groaned. "I didn't know she was gonna be here too."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Who's she?"

She sighed, motioning me to follow her to the kitchen.

We reached in there to find Dylan munching on a pack to cookies who turned to look at us wide-eyed as if got caught committing a crime.

"Oh it's just you." He said with his mouth full, making some crumbs fall out.

"Geez Dylan. Mouth, shut." I grimaced and leaned against the counter.

"Why didn't you tell me she was coming?" Mia whisper yelled, making Dylan frown.

"I didn't know either. She was already here when I arrived." He replied, making my frown deepen as I stared intently at the tiled floor. "Why do you think I'm in the kitchen, stuffing my face, rather than being out there, stuffing my face?"

"Um... Hi guys, yeah I'm still out of the loop here." I said, doing the jazz hands around my face. "Who is she?" I said trying to sound as casual as possible.

But to be honest, I felt stupid.

I, somewhat, thought that Ryder has been feeling glum lately because of what happened at the hospital and because of what I shared with him about my life but he seemed completely fine to me now. He looked so carefree laughing with her, that it almost made me rethink if everything I remember actually did happen or not.

Yeah that's it. That's exactly why I'm feeling uneasy.

It has nothing to do with the fact that Ryder seemed so happy flirting with a really beautiful girl because the 14 year old me who had a stupid crush on her best friend is long gone.

Yup. It was just a phase.

'Uh huh, right.'

I'm serious!

'I didn't say anything.'

I internally groaned as my conscience mocked me to the point where I just wanted to carve out my brain.

"Her name's Ashley." Mia sighed, looking at me, worried. "And we hate her."

I chuckled, in mock surprise. "You don't say."

"I promise, we're not bad people but she's the she-devil." Dylan, whisper yelled, shaving another cookie in his mouth.

I extended my arm out, making him place one in my hand without even thinking, making me smile. "Well, then, her being here doesn't really add up, does it?"

"It's not like we want her here. She's one of Ryder's mom's business partner's daughter and she always uses her mom as a source to hang out with Ryder." Mia said, grimacing.

"Yeah she's been trying really hard to get noticed by him but Ryder is completely oblivious about it." Dylan said. "She acts completely different when she's with him and when she's around us. It so eerie, she gives me the chills."

Dylan shivered slightly before, putting the container back into a cabinet.

"You don't have to worry though." Mia said, bumping my shoulder with hers. "I don't think Ryder likes her, anyway."

My eyes snapped to hers.

"Why would I care if he likes her or not?" I scoffed, walking over to the refridgerator to grab a bottle of water.

"You don't?" Dylan raised his eyebrows in disbelief, while Mia gave me a look of sympathy.

"No. Why would I? We're friends." I said, a little too quickly, making it sound as unconvincing as it can be.

"Yeah okay." Dylan chuckled, patting my shoulder.

I swatted his arm away, narrowing my eyes at him. "I'm serious. I don't care."

"You don't care about what?"

A voice echoed through the kitchen, making my eyes widen and my heart rate pick up speed.

"About a lot of things, really." I say, shrugging nonchalantly, without turning to look at him.

"When did you get here?" Ryder asked entering the kitchen as I placed my glass in the sink.

"About 5 minutes ago." Mia said.

"And what exactly are you guys doing in here?" Ryder said, eyeing us.

The three of us glanced at each other slowly, which didn't go unnoticed by Ryder.

He sighed. "Is it about Ashley again? And you left me out there all alone? "

I raised an eyebrow and bit my tongue before something slipped out, that I'd regret.

I don't know why I had this sudden urge to tell him to fuck off, when he stood there talking about Ashley.

"Nooo..." Dylan trailed off, looking at me for help while I rolled my eyes.

Ryder scoffed, grabbing my arm making me turn towards him. "He likes to exaggerate things like this. Yeah, she's a little too out there but she's not so bad."

I raised my eyebrows at him as I bit my tongue once again.

Dylan scoffed, making Ryder roll his eyes. "Okay fine, she's a little annoying and too chirpy but we've got to endure her company, nonetheless. That's not so hard to do, right?" He said, looking pointedly at me.

Ryder left the hospital after I passed out again and didn't even come meet me the next morning when I woke up and got discharged and I thought that he needed time.

This is technically the first real conversation we've had since I was in the hospital and I honestly didn't know what to expect from it, but this was definitely not it.

I gave him a forced smile and nodded. "Right."

My tone was stiff but even if he noticed, he didn't say anything about it. He just gave me a weird look at proceeded to usher us to the living room.

*****

I hate her.

I don't hate a lot of people, but she managed to make that possible in a mere half an hour.

We were all, sitting on the living room floor, around the table, playing life, the board game. I have no idea why Ryder still has the game that we used to play as kids.

Anyway, back to Ashley.

She keeps forgetting the rules and overreacting on every single one of her moves.

Let me rephrase that, she pretends to forget the rules and clings onto Ryder to explain those to her again.

When we walked back into the living room she pulled him down next to her and my ego wouldn't let me say anything or sit on his other side, so I took a seat across from him.

"Awww no, why do I keep paying taxes." She whines, looking at Ryder, who just let our an uncomfortable chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and focused on Ryder as he spun for his turn. "Yeah! Pay day, baby!" He cheered, taking money from the bank.

"This game is still rigged." I huffed, making Ryder raise his eyebrows at me.

"And you're still a sour loser." He sang, waving the fake money in front of my face.

"Oh please we both kn-"

"What happens when I land on this one, Ryder." Ashley said, pointing on the board making me shut my eyes and bite my tongue.

She has been doing this for the last half an hour. She's been cutting me off, whenever I speak and she's definitely getting on my nerves.

Now I know exactly what Dylan and Mia were talking about.

"That one's a lawsuit, we've told you like 6 times." Cole said, glancing at me.

"Oh you're right. I totally forgot." Ashley giggled, bumping Ryder's shoulder with hers making my jaw clench and look away.

Lex cleared her throat from beside me and started wiggling her eyebrows when I looked at her.

"What is wrong with you?" I frowned, speaking lowly as the game continued.

"Oh nothing. I just smell something burning." She said, sticking her nose up in the air and pretending to smell something from my direction.

"As if." Was my lame reply as I struggled to form words for some reason.

What is wrong with me?

I can't become the same me from three years ago and having a crush on my best friend would be one of the many things that went wrong.

I can't help but think sometimes that if the things he said to me that night would've hurt as much as they did, if I didn't have a crush on him.

As I looked at Ashley clinging on Ryder, I couldn't help but feel fidgety and annoyed at the same time.

I can't be jealous, can I?

A sudden crunch sound pulled me out of my trance as everyone turned to look at me.

Wait, not me. They were looking down at my hand, in which I was holding a pencil that I had found lying around. Except, it was now lying there in two pieces, making me shut my eyes again.

"I- I guess we can take a short break now?" Dylan spoke up looking at the pencil, cautiously.

I nodded. "Yeah I need to use the bathroom." I said, quickly standing up and walking out of the living room, without waiting for anyone's reply.

Pull yourself together. You're making it extremely obvious that you hate her.

With a little pep talk with myself I used the washroom and washed my hands before sighing.

With one last look in the mirror, I gathered every bit of patience I have left and pulled the door open, only to bump into a hard chest.

"Ow." I winced, rubbing my nose.

I looked up to see Ryder standing there with an amused smile on his perfect face.

My jaw clenched as images of him laughing with Ashley flashed before my eyes.

"Move." I said in monotone, moving to the right to walk past him but he moved along with me, blocking my way again.

"No." He said, matching my tone.

I rolled my eyes, moving to the left, as he mirrored my action.

I shut my eyes. I was already annoyed and I still hadn't figured out why, and him, doing this didn't help my case.

I didn't want him to get the wrong hint, so I just wanted to get away from him.

"Ryder." I hissed, when he kept blocking my way.

"All right okay. I just wanted to check if you were okay." He said, raising his hands in surrender.

"Okay then, I'm doing great." I said with the best fake smile I could muster. "Can you move now?"

"A person who's doing great doesn't snap a pencil in half, Miles." He said raising his eyebrows.

"I just didn't like that pencil. It looked at me the wrong way." I shrugged, mentally kicking myself for all the crap that's coming out of my mouth. "Can I go now? Thanks."

I moved to the side quickly and ducked under his arm, finally escaping the bathroom but I guess I wasn't quick enough as a hand latched onto my arm just, as I was about to go back out.

"Oh come on Miles. How many times do I have to say this, I know it when you're lying." He said, making me turn to look at him. "I know you're mad at Ashley. She makes it easy for people to do that. You just gotta be a little patient."

My jaw ticked as I looked intently into his eyes. "I'm not mad at her."

His smile slowly dropped as he continued looking at me, with his head tilted. "You're not." He whispered as if he found actual answers in my eyes. "Then what's wrong? And don't tell me it's nothing, because I know there's something going on."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "It's nothing you need to worry about. I can deal with my shit on my own." I turned, to snatch my arm out of his grip but he had other plans.

Instead of being free of his grasp, the next moment, I find myself pressed up against him, and the small table near the bathroom door digging into my hips.

I gasped as everything happened so quickly for me to comprehend. He had pulled me towards him and caged me between his arms, that were on the table.

"Don't you think I know that?" He said, looking down at me. "I just don't want you to."

I looked up at him wide-eyed as it was getting harder for me to think every passing second, with his body pressed up against mine.

That's when the realisation hit me.

God, I'm pathetic, to be making the same mistake again.

"Ryder... What are you doing?" I asked, looking away from him.

"What? Does this bother you?" He tilted his head to the side.

I scoffed. "No..."

"Wait a minute..." He frowned and grabbed my chin, making me look into his eyes and looked at me intently. "You're... Jealous..." He said, amused.

My eyes widened as I swatted his hand away from my face. "Oh please. Jealous? Really?" I said, a little too quickly.

"Yes. Oh my God, you're totally jealous." He said, as a smile slowly grew on his face, making my breath hitch. "Why would you be j- oh!"

His eyes widened in realisation. "Oh it's about Ashley isn't it?"

I couldn't help but look away from him. "It's about no one. I don't care who you like or don't. It's just that I thought we'd have a little more than her to talk about after that day at the hospital, but if you think your flirting spree is more important than that, there's nothing I can do- Damn it!"

I winced as I realised what I had just blurted out.

Ryder sighed, hanging his head slightly. "I know. Trust me, I feel like a dick myself but Miles you need to know that it's hard for me to face you, now that I know what I've put you through."

I opened my mouth to retort but he cut me off. "But that doesn't mean that I'm going to give up on you, on us. You deserve an apology that's better than just a lousy 'sorry'. Also, I promise you, I was definitely not flirting with her."

He finished with a pleading look making me scoff. "As I said, I don't care, even if you do." I said, rolling my eyes, trying to hide the blush that was ascending up my neck.

He tilted his head down, studying me, making me feel nervous all of a sudden. "Really?" His tone contained disbelief.

"Really." I said in the most convincing tone possible.

Just when I thought he was about to move away, he wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me to him, erasing the small distance that was between us.

I gasped as I looked at him wide-eyed.

"So you're telling me, you're not affected by me at all?" He asked, looking right into my eyes.

I gulped slowly, before shaking my head.

He let out a deep chuckle. "It's at least one percent believable when you use words, beautiful."

I gulped when I noticed him getting closer and duck a little to lift me up, with no effort and settled me on the table, standing between my legs, with his grip still tight around my waist.

I couldn't help but gape at him as we've known each other since we were in diapers but we've never been this close before, except that time in the school store room.

His strong arms around my waist made sparks shoot up my body as I looked at him, trying to get my breathing under control.

He scanned my face before leaning closer. "Contradicting your own statement huh?" He whispered as his gaze dropped to my lips. "It means something, you getting jealous."

My body refused to move as his fingers rubbed the exposed skin on my waist and his head ducked down to my neck, making me swallow a gasp of surprise.

"It doesn't mean anything." My voice came out a lot breathier than I intended and I felt his lips curve up against the crook of my neck, making it hard for me to breathe again.

He hummed into my neck, making me grab onto his shoulder and tilt my head up, giving him more access of my neck, automatically.

He noticed my laboured breathing and placed a soft kiss on the most sensitive part of my neck making me let out a sound of pleasure, and shut my eyes in embarrassment.

He chuckled, placing another kiss in the exact same spot. "I was about to tell you to stop me if you want but that sound is so much better to hear."

He pulled away slightly, almost making me whimper, at the loss of his touch. "It's okay to admit some things Miles, specially when you've already wasted too much time being scared."

I blinked, looking at his face that was inches away from mine.

"I'm definitely going to hell for this, but I'm gonna have to interrupt, as everyone's wondering why you two are missing, lovebirds." A voice said, making my eyes widen and pushing Ryder away from me as I jumped on my feet.

He staggered back, with a sigh and turned to look at Lex, standing with her back towards us, making me frown.