This is a disaster.

Everything that could go wrong with my life, went perfectly wrong.

I was good at all the sneaking around, hiding my bruises thing but now that I'm in a place where I needed to be extra cautious, everything is just falling apart.

I sat up, wincing as I looked at Ryder cautiously.

Thanks to my black top, the blood wasn't really noticable but if I had sat in there for a few more minutes, my top would not have been enough and I might have ended up sitting in a puddle of my own blood.

Yay me.

"Ryder." I started but ended biting my lip as another pain wave hit me.

I was in the store room behind the school, where Ryder had carried me, after I slapped him about ten times to get him to come out of shock.

If another class, or anyone for that matter saw me impersonate a human blood fountain in the school, I wouldn't hear the end of it for my entire school life.

"Ryder." I sighed again, trying to gain his attention as he paced around the room in the same pace for the past 5 minutes.

"RYDER" I yelled and ended up wincing in pain again.

"WHERE THE FUCK IS LEXI?" He yelled, finally stopping to tug at his hair, still not looking at me.

As if on cue, I heard panicked footsteps rushing into the room, looking at me in alarm.

"Oh god oh god oh god"

She squats before the beanbag I laid on and took out supplies from the first aid kit.

I tugged my top up to see the damage and sure enough, a few of my stitches, had come off from a side.

Lexi grimaced at that, handing me a gauze with antiseptic to me, so I can clean the wound.

She turned away from the wound, as I winced.

"Ooh this must be killing you." Lexi said, making me frown and look up, only to notice that she was looking at Ryder.

He was now sitting on a beanbag with his face in his hands, looking at my wound from between his fingers.

I sighed before, continuing to tend to my wound, which took about five minutes. I did a sloppy job with the stitches, but that was just enough to not worsen the cut.

The sound of knuckles cracking echoed through the room as Ryder's panic radiated off of him. He had been quite, watching me fix myself, but I could sense the uneasiness.

"Lex, you should go for your class now." I said, looking up at her, once I was done with the stitching part.

"You sure?" She raised her eyebrows, glancing back at Ryder.

I sighed before nodding.

This was too much, too much for Ryder to comprehend, I know. And that too, without any explanation.

She gathered the used supplies and got up to leave before glancing at the two of us, one last time and mouthing a 'good luck' to me.

I turned my gaze to Ryder, who had his head in his hands now. He looked tired and defeated, making me hate myself even more, for just being the way I am.

I picked up the bandage and placed one part over the gauze over my wound, before looking at him.

"Uh Ryder?" I rasped out, making him go stiff and look up. His eyes didn't meet mine, they went straight down to my abdomen. "A little help here?"

He shut his eyes for a second before, quickly dragging his beanbag close to mine.

Still not looking at me.

I sat up a little straighter to give him access to wrap the bandage around my abdomen.

But there was another thing I needed to worry about now. Everytime his fingers brushed against my skin, goosebumps rose on my entire body and heart rate picked up speed.

He was being extra careful, as if I'm made of glass and he'd break me if he was too harsh.

I sighed, yet again. "Ryder... Please look at me."

His eyes were trained on the wound as he frowned.

Once he was done bandaging the area and was about to move back, I cup his face with my hands and pulled it forward to meet my gaze.

I should've thought this through. The proximity of our faces made me gulp as his eyes widened for a second.

"Ryder, please." I said in desperation. "Listen to m-"

"Okay."

I looked at him, dumbfounded. "Okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Tell me. You wanna explain this right? Go ahead, do that. I'm listening."

He said, looking at me intently, making me part my lips.

He was mad. He was definitely mad.

"Ryder, that's no-"

"No, please go ahead and explain to me, Miles. Explain to me why I found you with bruises at your house last week, and uh, I don't know, maybe why is there a fucking hole in your body." He seethed, putting his hands over mine that were cupping his face, bringing them down.

I gulped. "Ryder I-"

"You can't, can you?" He said, his voice lowering another octave.

He looked at me with such strong emotions that, it set my body on fire. His demeanor was tense, his voice was low and he had his jaw clenched, which radiated anger.

But his eyes.

His eyes were a different story.

His eyes showed pain. He was in so much pain that it almost hurt to look at him.

That's what it is. He is trying to repent his actions, he has tried to break down my walls but my lack of trust always brought him down, back to square one.

My lack of trust.

The trust that he broke years ago.

Trust, that he unintentionally broke, years ago.

"You should rest here, I have class. I'll send Lexi in." He said, his head hanging in defeat.

My eyes widened as he moved to get up, so I did the most logical thing I could think of at that moment.

I grabbed his hand and pulled him back down on his beanbag and launched myself at him, so that I was now straddling him with my arms around his neck and my knees on either side of his body, holding him down.

'Good job, you doofus.'

"What the-" he started, but was cut of by a hiss of pain coming from me at the sudden movement. "Miles! What is wrong with you?!"

His arms automatically went around my waist to hold me in place and avoiding me from falling and risk opening my stitches again.

"Have you lost it?!" He seethed, looking at me wide-eyed, as his grip tightened around me, making sure not to hurt me. "Do you actually want to die?!"

"Again, you wouldn't listen to me, I had to do something." I said, finally getting my breathing under control.

He sighed as if he'd just recovered from the biggest shock of his life and moved to place me back on the other beanbag. "Miles yo-"

I held on to him tighter. "No, you listen to me!" I exclaimed, my hands tight around his neck, as he looked at me wide-eyed.

"Wha-"

"I do trust you."

What followed was a good whole minute of silence and the only sound was of our ragged breathing, as he looked at me, clearly in shock.

It's safe to say, that I was equally shocked at what I had said.

I did, I actually did trust him. Even after what happened all these years ago, I somehow knew that it wasn't completely his fault. He was just an oblivious kid, who said some things in rage.

He looked at me with a pained expression, once he was out of his trance. "Miles-"

"I do. I trust you but-"

"But." He sighed, hanging his head.

"No. Ryder..." I cupped his face, making him look at me. He looked like a child who had lost his way home. "It's just a lot more complicated than that."

"I'm pretty sure, getting stabbed is as complicated as it can get." He said, looking down at my now covered wound.

"Would you believe me if I said that I walked into the wrong side of a knife?" I said with a small hopeful smile, making him sigh.

"There is no right side to a knife, Miles."

"For me, there is."

We looked at each other for a while, trying to figure out the emotions to hold on to.

"Listen, Ryder..." I started, fiddling with the neck line of his shirt. "My life has changed a lot and with that I had to change, as well. There are changes I'm not proud of, but I can't walk out of, anymore because I'm just in too deep."

His grip tightened around my waist, pulling me towards him, looking up at me with a frown.

"So it's not that I don't trust you..." I raised my eyebrows at him, shaking my head. "I just can't drag you into the mess that my life is, right now."

"What if I want to be in it? What if I don't care about the mess that your life is, till I'm sure that you're safe?" He said in desperation, his questions sounding more like statements.

I switched between looking at his grey orbs, as a small smile took over my face.

"Then you're just gonna have to wait and trust that I'm more than capable of keeping myself safe." I said, looking down at him, glad to see the best friend that I thought, I had lost. "And when the time is right, you'll be the first one I run up to."

He sighed. "I can never win with you, can I?"

I chuckle. "No. But you yell at me like that again, and I'll make sure you never have babies."

He chuckled, but stopped when he realised how serious I am. "Right. I'm sorry."

Silence settled between us as we looked at each other with a new found understanding.

It was then that I realised the position we were in and I froze.

I might be bold or whatever, but that doesn't change the fact that feelings confuse me. Especially, for this specific boy who has no idea about the effect he has on me.

He noticed my change in demeanor and tilted his head to the side like a confused puppy, making me bite my lip out of habit.

I gulped as I noticed his gaze drop to my lips.

I hadn't realised how close we were till now, as the air grew thicker.

His grey orbs were troubled, as if in a dilemma and as if on instinct I felt him lean in, making my breath hitch.

The pain in my abdomen was long forgotten as I felt my heart rate increase and my breathing grow ragged.

He moved slow, too slow, almost as if giving me all the time in the world to move or push him away but I didn't.

I didn't move, well, not away from him, at least.

My mind was in a frenzy and I couldn't think straight with Ryder being so close to me and his scent enveloping me like some sort of sorcery.

I hadn't realised that I had leaned towards him almost on instinct, till I felt his breath on my lips.

Our faces were so close that, one movement could end up making our lips connect.

I felt very much aware of his arms around my waist, holding me with so much care that I might disappear any moment.

That's when I felt it. A brush of his lips against my own, making my eyes flutter shut.

"I'm telling you, the blue ranger had no right to act like a bitch because his dad was the red ranger." Dylan's voice rang through our ears, from the entrance of the room, making our eyes fly open.

We scramble away from each other and stand up from the beanbag, as I winced at the sudden movement yet again.

Ryder looked at me worried and held my arm in support making me shake my head and give him a reassuring smile, letting him know that I'm okay.

He nodded clearing his throat and I think I heard him mutter a 'this boy is so dead' under his breath.

From behind some tables emerged Dylan and Mia, fighting about which power ranger they think, is the strongest.

"Oh hey guys! What are you doing here?" Mia said once she looked at us, standing awkwardly near the beanbags.

"Oh hey m&m!" Dylan exclaimed, breaking into a jog, again, wanting to collide with me, yet again, and I shut my eyes, waiting for the impact but it never came, and I heard an oof instead.

I opened my eyes to see Ryder holding Dylan in a death grip, which was supposed to be a hug. By the looks of his clenched jaw and flexed arms, I don't think he was doing it unintentionally.

"Hey! my brother thankfully, from a different mother." Ryder gritted out, patting his back, which made Dylan cough for breath. "How are you, this fine afternoon?"

"Ah- uh good good bro. Um can you... Uh yeah." Dylan stuttered, pulling himself out of Ryder's grip who looked at him with an innocent smile, making me snort, which I covered up with a cough.

*****

I laid on my bed after Ryder dropped me home.

The ride home was silent but not necessarily awkward. A lot had happened today and we had found a middle ground to just trust each other.

I know how hard it was for Ryder to agree to this because let's face it, watching your friend with a pocket carved in their body is not exactly fun.

None of the two of us brought up the almost kiss, back there in the store room and to be very honest, I myself, have no idea what even happened, and I'm too afraid to ask or talk about.

I sighed, reaching for my phone as I heard a ping, to see an unread email.

I sat up straight and opened it and sure enough it was from Mr. King.

I extend my apologies for the behaviour of one of my fighters, a few days ago Miles. I asure that I have personally taken care of it and that you won't have to face such problems in the future.

I won't use any pawns to reach out to you anymore.

I guess it's finally time for us to meet mi amore.

A shiver went down my spine as I read the e-mail, making me realise that it's time I do something about it.

*Author's note*