CH. 16

I woke up the next morning and reached to my right side and felt nothing but air and empty sheets. Feeling that Rico wasn't in bed caused me to force my eyes open to see if he was here at all. I scanned the room and realized that he was gone without a trace. I figured he had gotten up to do some things with the team so I rolled out of bed and headed into the bathroom to get my day of being carefree started. I connected my phone to my beats wireless speaker and put my apple music library or shuffle. What is love by V bozeman came on and a small shriek escaped my throat. This song was one of my favorites and was always sure to get me into my feelings. Now more than ever considering all that was going on in my life currently. "I would tell you that I love you tonight but I know that I got time on my side" I started singing while spreading tooth paste on to my brush and rocking side to side with the music. "Where you going why you leaving so soon? Is there somewhere else that's better for you...ou ...ou" I continued. A mouth full of toothpaste didn't slow me down not one bit. I spit the foam that had built up in my mouth from the toothpaste into the sink and prepared myself for the chorus. I took a deep breath and sung from the bottom of my heart. "What is love, if you're not here with me what is love if it's not guaranteed , what is love if it just ups and leaves. What is love if..." My jam session was cut short by loud banging noises coming from the opposite side of my hotel room door. I instantly got annoyed because I was sure I put a do not disturb sign on the door knob. Maybe Rico had taken it off on his way out I thought to myself. I flung the door and said "No room service need" but my words got caught in my throat once they left my lips. There stood Julian leaned against the wall adjacent to my door. I looked him up and down and subconsciously whispered the word damn. I didn't even try to cover up what I said. He had on a simple grey tshirt, a matching grey zip up hoodie, adidas track pants, and his jordan 11's. He always looked so simple but so good. I snapped out of my trance once I remembered I was not suitable to be looked at just yet because I was in the middle of getting ready. I looked down at myself then back up at Julian and groaned. I mentally kicked myself over and over again for not looking through the peep hole first. He took a step closer to me and I took a step back but this caused me to crash right into the door. I groaned again. This made him burst out into a full fit of laughter which then made me automatically catch an attitude. He noticed and tried to pull me into a hug but I roughly pushed him off of me. He pulled me into him with more aggression this time and I didn't fight him on it. He held on to me for what seemed to be forever before whispering "I've wanted to do that for so long" I smiled and looked up at him and he never broke the gaze. He always knew how to make me uncomfortable but uncomfortable in a good way. After a few more minutes I cleared my throat and stepped out of his embrace.

"So what's up" I tried to say as cool as possible.

"What you doing today" He questioned

"Why aren't you with the team?"

"We have a free day, why are you avoiding my initial question Heaven?"

A free day? Then where was Rico I thought.

"Heaven" Julian said, while flashing his hand infront of my face to get my attention.

"Yeah Julian what?"

"What has your mind so preoccupied girl?

"Nothing" I said while pushing the thoughts of Rico to the back of my mind.

"Yeah whatever, what you doing today?"

"Well, I was getting ready to start my day before you so rudely came barging in, banging on my door, demanding me answer your questions"

He smiled that half smile of his that I loved before saying

"So basically you're not doing nothing"

I frowned. He was right, I didn't have anything planned but he didn't have to phrase it like I didn't have a life.

"Well.. I had to... Uh..."

"Exactly" He chuckled.

I frowned and put my hands on hips before responding to his statement. "What's it to you anyways"

"Spend the day with me"

"No" I said instantly

"What do you mean NO Heaven?" He responded clearly not pleased with my answer

"No, the opposite of yes"

"Why?"

"Why what Julian"

"Why No?"

"Because Julian..."

"Not an answer"

Julian was always persistent but he had gotten so much worse. I wanted to say No because I'm in love with you and I'll accidently blurt out that I'm the mother of your child and you're going to hate me because I never told you but I decided against it.

"Because I don't want to Julian." I lied

He starred at me long and hard before pushing my door open and walking in. I stomped in after him before asking him what he thought he was doing. He didn't answer me and it started to make my blood boil.

"Hello I'm talking to you"

He continued to Ignore me.

"You're really going to act like you don't hear me Julian" I huffed.

He stood up.

"You're coming with me so get dressed. I'll be waiting in the lobby. You have 20 minutes before I come back up here and drag you out"

I scoffed and with that he walked out the door. At first I was somewhat taken aback but soon found myself smiling. Julian was actually not taking no for answer from me much unlike high school when he just let me walk out of his life completely. He was showing me he cared and I was going to hold on to it as long as I could because I knew once I told him the truth about oir daughter our relationship would turn hostile and moments like these would be nonexistent.

I looked at the clock and gave myself a time limit while jumping into the shower. I rushed through everything and even rushed through finding an outfit because I knew Julian would keep his word and I didn't need any of his antics right now. I turned around in the mirror a few times before finally being content with my outfit, a simple wool sweater, fitted skinny jeans, my brand new uggs and a scarf. Because it was so cold outside I decided it would be best to just let my curls do their own thing not that Julian gave me much time to fiddle with it anyways. I took one more quick glance at myself, grabbed my purse and room key off the dresser and made my way out the door.

As I waited for the elevator I felt myself grow more and more impatient. In reality the elevator probably took no more than two minutes to arrive but it felt like an eternity. I kept replaying the chain of events that lead me to this current moment before I heard the elevator ding and watched the doors slide open to let me in. I hesitated before pressing the ground level button because my nerves were getting the best of me and I really wanted to do what I was best at and that was running but I thought of Janae and remembered why I was doing all of this. "No more running" I said to myself before pressing the button and watching the elevator doors close.

"Took you long enough"

I shrieked before realizing it was just Julian.

"Were you waiting here by the elevator the whole time? Or do you just make it a habit to scare people half to death" I said while grabbing on to my chest. My heart was beating way too fast. We hadn't even left the hotel yet and his antics were already beginning.

"I was coming up to get you, I'm sorry. He said while placing his hand on the small of my back and making small circles with his fingers to calm me. I looked at him and couldn't believe this was happening.

"What?"

"Nothing, where you taking me?"

"Can't tell you that let's go"

Julian walked on forward while I stayed glued right in my tracks. He didn't catch wind at first that I wasn't following him but once he did he frowned at me. The same frown Janae would give me when she didn't get her way. My God this girl took everything from her father I thought as I watched him walk back in my direction visibly frustrated.

"Are you going to be difficult your whole life Heaven?"

"No, but I don't know where you're taking me why should I go?"

He sigh but didn't answer me.

"Exactly"

"Do you Trust me Heaven"

"Idk"

"You do know, you wouldn't be dressed down here in this lobby with me if you didn't trust me so I'm going to ask you again. Do you Heaven Cassanova trust me Julian Epps?"

I paused for a second before grabbing his hand and saying "Yes I trust you"

He smiled that big smile of his that had me melting since day one and with that we were off.

We walked hand in hand down 45th Street as I took in all the buildings coated lightly with snow. No matter how many times I had been in New York the buildings, it's skyline, the people, I could never get use to. I was always so amazed at how beautiful the city was and even more amazed at how the residents treated it like it was so commonplace. I tried to loosed the grip Julian had on my hand but it only made him lock our fingers together and turn in my direction and smile. It made me wonder if Julian was this sweet in High school or if this was the man he grew up to be. My thoughts made a wave of sadness wash over me because that to was my fault. I never gave him a chance. I never really gave us a chance. As if he could read my mind Julian stopped walking and let go of my hand. He maneuvered himself so that he was directly in front of me and that we were staring directly in each others eyes. I tried to look away because of the discomfort I was feeling but he grabbed my chin and titled it up so our eyes were once again locked in place. What was this man doing to me I thought.

"Heaven what's wrong." He broke the silence

I said nothing.

"Are you mad that I forced you out? We're almost to where we're going but we can turn back."

"No Julian there's something I want to get off my chest"

"Okay, I promise we can talk about it a little later aight? I want to get you out of this cold"

"But Ju-"

"But nothing lets go."

He grabbed my arm and we continued on down the street. I continued to take in all of my surroundings, it was as if I was seeing everything with a fresh pair of eyes. After a few more minutes of walking and sight seeing we approached a town home and at this point I was even more confused. Julian went to go ring the door bell but I grabbed him by the tail of his coat stopping him in mid stride.

"Where are we whose house is this"

"You said you trusted me right"

"Yeah but."

"But what"

"Look i'm a little on edge can you just tell me where we are plus I told you I had to tell you something"

"It can't wait Heaven?"

No I thought to myself it's waited long enough. I kept trying to talk myself out of telling Julian over and over again but I had to just rip the bandaid off and however it went it went but I was tired of running.

"No Julian it can't"

He pushed passed me a little and ran up and rung the door bell before I could stop him again. Regardless of where we were I made up my mind and I was telling Julian about Janae.

I whipped out my phone and flashed it in front of Julian's face. His hazel eyes struggled to scan my phone as I flashed it around like a mad woman. I started to pace back and forth and he grabbed me by my shoulders locking me in place.

"What is going on with you Heaven? Why you bugging?"

"BECAUSE OF JANAE JULIAN! JANAE IS WHY IM BUGGING"

He looked at me with the must dumbfounded face I had ever seen in my life. I Unlocked my screen and flashed the same picture of Janae that was on my lock screen to him hoping he would see the resemblance.

"Who is Janae Heaven what are you talking about, what are you showing me"

I pointed to the screen making him focus on the picture before taking a deep breath and saying "This is Janae.... "

"Okay and who is she" he questioned.

"Our daughter."

I had never seen a ghost before and I didn't need to after seeing all the color drain from Julian's face. Just as he was about to speak the door flung open and an elderly woman ran out and hugged Julian with so much force like she hadn't seen him in forever. She left kisses all over his face and then looked over at me.

"Julian baby who is this lovely young lady" She asked

He was still in a daze but managed to dryly respond "the mother of my child grandma, she is the mother of my child"