My first few weeks at Riverdale we rough but I got through them. I even befriended a girl named Robyn. She was really mellow and had a great sense of humor. We clicked automatically. It was Tuesday morning and my eyes were riveted on a flyer that was stuck to my locker. The multi colored flyer read that it was time for Riverdale's annual fall ball. I was never really big on dances but I couldn't help but hope that Julian would ask me. I mean we weren't official or anything but there was definitely something between us, I just wasn't sure if it was actually there or just in my head. The thought of Julian not being interested in me made me frown and slam my locker door shut. "Damn girl what has got you all worked up?" I turned and saw Robyn standing behind me. I wanted to kick myself for slightly losing my composure in public. It just wasn't like me. "Nothing girl, my locker just acts funny sometimes. Gotta slam it for it to shut." I responded. She gave me a questioning look before saying "yeah whatever". I let out a sigh of relief because she had dropped it. I definitely was not in the mood to explain myself. We walked slowly and made mindless small talk the entire way to the cafeteria. I was always grateful for lunch, not because I ate any of the terrible food they served but because I got to spend time with Robyn and got to love Julian from afar. We always sat at the table directly across from his and often times he would catch my glance and return it with a smile. Today was no different; we spotted Julian's friends and sat at the table across from them. The only problem was that today there was no Julian. I tried to be discreet about looking for Julian but my efforts were no good. Robyn read me like a book. "Who you looking for Heaven?" She questioned. "Um, no one." I responded frantically. She rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth before saying "that Julian boy got you no good". I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and my eyes widen. "Girl you got me bent, what are you talking about?" I asked her that ridiculous questioning knowing exactly who and what she was talking about. "Heaven, this is me we're talking about. I see how you guys interact and how you guys look at each other. It's so obvious you like him and I mean why else would we sit here every day?" I tried to force down the huge lump that had formed in my throat. If it was obvious to Robyn it must have been obvious to him and he must not have had any feelings towards me if he's known and hasn't made any moves. The longer I thought about it the faster my mood fell. Just as I was about to speak and tell Robyn about how I felt about Julian he walked in. He had on a blue and white Jordan set to match is military blue sneakers and he was sporting a yellow bone on his arm. I saw her and my stomach dropped. She was beautiful. As I watched her sashay to the table where Julian's friends had been sitting I felt all my confidence and self-esteem drain from my body. Julian put his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into him. That confirmed everything I needed to know. Robyn looked at me sadly and put her hand on my shoulder. I felt my eyes starting to get puffy and before I knew it tears were streaming down my cheeks. I looked up long enough to see that Julian was looking my way with a confused and pained expression on his face. I made an attempt to wipe the tears away but I only seemed to be making matters worse. I refused to stay there and feel sorry for myself so I snatched my Louie duffle bag off the table and stomped out of the cafeteria. Robyn followed me out but I told her I wanted to be alone. She hesitated at first but understood and let me know to text her if I needed her. She gave me a quick hug and then we parted ways. I slowly walked to the schools patio and tried to erase all thoughts of Julian from my head. There was no way I could compete with the girl with the honey skin and hazel eyes. As I sat on the patio and moped about my life I heard my iPhone going off. I rummaged through my bag until I found it and immediately wanted to toss it against the wall. It was a text from Julian asking if we could talk. I thought about responding to it but decided it would be in both of our best interest if I just deleted it. "I hope you don't delete my text like that when you receive them." I heard a voice say from behind me. I turned to find David standing directly behind where I had been sitting. "Do you make it a habit to nearly scare people to death?" I asked dryly. He chuckled before taking a seat next to me on the bench. "May I sit here?" "I mean you already sat down." I responded harshly. He frowned and I immediately felt terrible. He was just trying to be nice and I was being mean for no reason. "I'm sorry David; I shouldn't take my anger out on you." "It's ok. What's wrong if you don't mind me asking?" I hesitated before whispering "guy problems". He sighed and placed his hand on top of mine. I looked up at him and smiled. "It'll be ok. We all have issues with the opposite sex." "Yeah, I know but I really liked him and assumed he liked me too but I guess I wasn't what he was looking for." When the words left my lips I immediately felt sad. I held my head down and he lifted my head up by my chin and looked directly into my eyes. For the first time I realized how beautiful his eyes were. "Heaven, will you go to the dance with me?" I hesitated, not because I didn't want to go with him but because deep down I wish it was Julian who was asking me this question. My silence must have put him on edge because he let go of my face and placed his hands in his lap. "I mean I'm not Julian, but I promise you'll have a good time. I just want..." I cut his sentence off with a kiss. It was completely impulsive and I wasn't sure if I did it because I was actually attracted to David or if I was just acting off all the mixed emotions from the situation with Julian. David was a sweet guy and he wanted nothing more but my happiness. I was worried about Julian while he wasn't worried about me which meant I had to reevaluate some things. He pulled away from our kiss and smiled. "I'll take that as a yes" he said. I blushed before saying "it's a yes". We sat in silence until the bell rung and indicated that our lunch period was over. He picked up my duffle bag and carried it in my hand and interlocked my fingers with his with his free hand. I looked at him and smiled as we walked to class. His class was on the opposite side of school so we parted ways and I promised to call him afterschool so we could discuss our dance plans. As I approached my classroom door I felt sick. Not only was Julian in this class but he sat in the seat directly next to me. I peeped through the classroom window and saw that Julian wasn't in class yet. Probably with that girl I thought. I rolled my eyes and tried to shun the idea from my head. I raced to my teachers' desk to let him know I wasn't feeling well and he told me to put my head down because we would only be watching a documentary today. I let out a sigh of relief and ran to my seat. I pulled out my LSU hoodie, quickly put it on, and through the hood over my head. I heard Julian drop his bag to the floor and plop down into his seat and I also heard him call out my name. Everything in me wanted to lift my head up and speak to him but I decided against it. I pretended to be asleep the entire class period and as soon as the bell rung I raced out of the classroom and to my car. I didn't want to give Julian a second to say anything to me. As I pulled out of the parking lot I looked in my rearview mirror and saw Julian standing at the schools' entrance. My heart sank but I quickly flashed back to earlier when he pulled that girl into him and my blood turned cold. I wasn't of Julian's concern then and he wasn't of mine now.

*PHOTO OF ROBYN TO SIDE*