The world is a real fucked up place.

I'm mad, wait no not mad I'm pissed and disappointed. There she was my Natalia kissing some dude. All this built up rage and I can't even let it out becuase were not together anymore. She not mine and it's killing me. Every day, every single god damn day I look back and think to my self 'why'. I had a great life, a great wife and a royaly fucked that up.

My knuckles are turning white from how hard I'm gripping the steering wheel. I need a damn drink.

I pulled up to this bar and walked right in and ordered jack. I ordered 3 more and I was still feeling hurt. I needed something stronger,something to make me forget, to make me not feel anymore. I got vodka straight and down that like it was water. After 7 shots I Can't feel a damn thing and I loved it.

"Hey buddy you good" bartender asked.

"Yeah I'm 'hic' fine"

" no I don't think so pal you had enough to drink I think you need to go on home now"

I started laughing like it was the best joke ever fucking heard.

" what home, I don't have a home, I destroyed it and now some guys going to rebuild the home but you see I don't want him to rebuild the home, I want to rebuild it myself, I got to build up my self because it was my home first and I don't want anyone else to touch it".

I'm sobbing like a little baby. I feel so pathetic.

" hey look is there anyone i can call to come get you"

" well you know I used to have this wife pretty pretty wife and we broke up so she changed her number. But I know her new one. hehee, don't ask me how I know. and every single day I look at that number and I'm going to press call but I'm afraid she will change it again and I don't want her to change it".

I looked up at the bartender." Hey I have a great idea why don't you call her and she won't hang up because she doesn't hate you just me -hic-".

I was ranting on and on for God knows how long. talking to random strangers dancing to no music just trying to forget but I can't forget I will never forget

"What are you doing jessie"

I turned around and saw my angel right infront of me. Hair in a messy bun sweatpants with a cardigan, sleep deprived. she looked amazing.

"You came for me"

She pinched the bridge of her nose and walked right up to the bartender they talked for a couple seconds before she came back towards me and grabbed my arm pulling me out of the bar.we were walking towards her car. She still didn't say anything. I looked at her car and saw sleeping Tyler in his carseat. Before she let me in her car she turn around.

" what the hell is wrong with you. getting drunk that's what you do now huh. It is 1 in the morning Jessie and I don't understand why I'm getting a call saying that you're drunk off your ass at a bar. I don't even know how you got my number but that is not even the problem, my child was asleep but I had to take him up to come and get you. why didn't you call your fiancé huh, why me Jessie.

I stared right into her eyes those beautiful eyes

" because I love you and don't want to be without you. I've made so much mistakes in my life but the biggest mistake I ever made was hurting you and I know I can't say anything that will make you forgive me and I know most people would say that letting you go is the best thing I could do for you but I can't let you go, I refuse to let you go I've never wanted another person more than I wanted you. I know this may sound selfish but the only reason Im marrying trish is because I felt so alone, you weren't here and I thought why not. two messed up people being together".

She looked at me with wide eyes. I walked right up to her and held her arms.

" you want to know why I came to this bar. I got home today and Trisha said that you came to speak to me and I was so excited. Even if the reason sucked. that's why I drove to your house and the next thing I see is some guy kissing you. I wanted to get out the car and beat him to death and looking back I could literally feel how you felt when you found out what I did with Trish but you must of felt worse".

" Jessie please stop bring this up now. It won't change anything and I don't want to relive it again. I think we just need to look past this ok and just move on". She mumbled the last part and looked at the ground.

" move on,you mean like you and that guy"

"Jessie I..."

" does he make you feel the way I make you feel. does he touch you and I touch you". I started moving my hands up and down her arms.

" remember the first time we had sex. The way I kissed your neck". I kissed her neck right there.

"The way i slid my hand all over your body". I moved my hand all over her making her tremble.

"The way you told me to be gentle becuase you were a virgin". I looked her in the eyes not blinking.

"The way we exchanged 'I love you' ".

"Jessie please"

"Remember the way I kissed you"

I kissed her. Right there in the parking lot. I poured everything I had into that kiss and it worked she was moaning and grabbing onto me. She was putty in my hands. We stopped kissing and I pulled her so my lips were near her ears.

"No man will ever make you feel the way I did and I will make you mine again. Trust me".

I took the car keys out of her hands and sat in the car letting her digest every thing that just happened. I looked back and saw my baby sleeping in his car seat and this felt so right.

I will have my family back and no one can stop me.