Brenna's POV ~ The Next Morning

I woke up pretty early. I couldn't say I slept well. I guess I'd got too much sleep during the day and then tossed and turned all night from guilt. I wanted so badly to tell him how I actually felt. I just couldn't.

I also wanted to be mad at him but felt I didn't have the right to be. I was jealous and angry but wanted to be comforted because my father didn't care about me.

I cleaned myself up and got dressed. I put on my old dress because the one Jasper gave me was torn. I wasn't sure what to do with myself; I paced around, not wanting to leave the room.

What did the other women and Orc know about what happened? Would they judge me or be angry with me? I wasn't ready to face that. I couldn't stay cooped up in this room either.

I peeked my head out the door to look around. I didn't see anybody, so I slipped out of my room and tiptoed across the hall. I knocked on Jasper's door but didn't get an answer.

I didn't see any harm in going in unannounced since he'd done it to me several times. I wanted to talk to him but didn't know what I would say. I cracked the door open and looked inside. It didn't take me long to notice something was off.

Of course, he wasn't there. It seemed emptier than it had when I stayed the other night. Many of the weapons mounted on the walls were now gone. I went inside to get a better look. The hearth had burned out, so the room was chilly. It was just as big as I remembered.

Jasper's living quarters consisted of three rooms. The first area was one large room that had an area with a lounge and couch in front of the hearth. It also had his enormous bed and chests for his clothing and other belongings. The other two rooms were his bathroom and a personal armory.

I looked at his bathroom. I wondered why there wasn't a door to offer some privacy, but I had to admit the archway was gorgeous. The only other room connected to his quarters was his personal armory. It didn't have a door either, just another intricate archway.

I took a glance inside. It looked empty too. Some of the armor was gone, and gear was missing from the shelving and wall mounts. I had this gut feeling that something was wrong.

I turned around to leave and nearly had a heart attack. Sten was standing in the doorway. I hadn't heard him come in. Gods, how do these massive Orc sneak up on you like that?

"Sten!... You scared me." I said breathlessly. "I was just looking for Jasper."

He gave me an odd expression. "Well, you won't find him here." He paused like I should know where Jasper was.

"Do you know where he is?"

"He left early this morning. Did he not tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"That he was going back out to the battlefield. We suspect Blackwater is planning another battle."

I was surprised and hurt. "Oh..." I said, disappointed. "Why haven't you gone?"

He seemed confused by my question. He didn't understand why I'd care.

"Uh... we weren't supposed to leave until tomorrow. Jasper wanted to leave early, but I had a few things to take care of."

Did he leave early because of me, I wondered. I could feel a pit growing in my stomach at the thought.

"Listen, his relationships aren't my business, but it's affecting the rest of us. I don't know what's going on with you two, but it's throwing him off. I'm just letting you know because whatever you said to him last night fucked him up." Sten said coldly.

I was shocked. How dare Sten talk to me like this was all my fault. I felt anger, embarrassment, and shock crawl up my back. I can't help Jasper has feelings for me. I've only done what I thought was best. I swallowed the lump growing in my throat. How could I even respond to that? He studied my face before leaving the room.

After all that, I went to my room and hid from the world. I felt so awful for hurting Jasper. He had

hurt me too. I truly believed my decision was for the best. I just hoped he was okay.

~ A Few Weeks Later

A Few weeks had passed, and Jasper was still gone. I hadn't heard anything about him either. I was so worried that I had to find something to keep busy. A few days after Jasper was gone, I found Helena in the kitchen and asked if I could help.

Helena put me to work alongside her. She was teaching me how to make different salves and other remedies in the kitchen. Sometimes we'd even go out in the valley and wooded area around the mountains to gather herbs and other plants.

Helena had been overwhelmed with the request for medicines and other supplies because of the war. She didn't deal directly with the wounded and sick, but she did help make a good bit of the medicines for the healer.

She kept me busy during the day, and I learned more about Orruk culture through her. Night time was a different story. I couldn't help but toss and turn and think about Jasper.

I prayed to the gods he was okay. I wasn't sure if there was no word at all or if I wasn't allowed to know. I was too afraid to ask after Sten had spoken to me before he left. No one had been rude to me, but I was worried the others might be upset with me too.

Helena had been very kind to me throughout the whole ordeal. She was a mother figure to many of the orcs and women here. She had a patient heart, but she'd put people in their place in a hurry.

She even went as far as to fix my green dress. Jasper had asked her about it before he left, which made me feel even worse. She removed the cape, cleaned it, and fitted it to my body.

The only negative side to working in the kitchen was bringing food to the Great hall. I didn't mind it for the most part, but the woman Jasper had slept with spent much of her time there.

I learned her name was Paige. I had to admit, Paige was beautiful. She had silky dark skin and black hair. Her eyes were also black. I honestly felt sick near her. I was undeniably jealous of her. I envied her looks, her freedom, and the fact that Jasper took her to bed.

I wish I didn't have to worry that my father might twist my feelings for Jasper. I was scared to love him. She didn't have to worry about things like that.

She seemed nice enough but didn't speak to me at all, not that I was trying to strike a conversation with her. I couldn't deny the discomfort that grew in the air every time she and I were in the same room together.

She had this mysterious cloud about her. She entertained the men who came back from the battlefield in the evening. Mostly with dancing, but there were a few She went to bed with here and there.

I couldn't help but be curious about her. I wanted to know more because I wanted to know why Jasper was attracted to her. I wondered if he had feelings for her or if it was merely physical.

Brenna