Ever since July 2017 when I took my daily stroll through the forest, listening to Stigma, I daydreamed about this particular scene that for some reason kept coming back to me. Along with that, more vivid scenarios started playing in my head involving these two particular characters. Little did I know that these specific daydreams would eventually build up to one book I never would have written if I hadn't come across the seven adorable, humble, talented and stupid guys which we know as BTS.

Now, a year and a half later, I've finally turned my vivid vision of this chapter into words.

♥

♣ ♣ ♣

It's been two days since I talked to Jin -- or talked to anyone, really. And these two days has been confusing, to say the least.

I've been going back and forth with myself. Digging deep into the depths of my heart's desires, but more so into the unexplored wilderness that is the logical part of my brain that I sadly haven't used ever since I laid my eyes on Taehyung. He lured me into his trap too damn easily, enchanted me with his charms as if I were a puppy and he was waving a treat in front of my nose.

I hate it. I hate how easy it was for him. But I'm so incredibly terrified of how easy it was for me to break down because of him -- terrified how he's become such a huge part of me that I'm actually scared of the mere thought of not being with him.

That's why I finally decided that I can't continue like this.

I have to end this before it's too late.

This option came to me almost immediately after I had spoken to Jin, and I almost dismissed it as fast as it came up. But in all honesty, that's the only choice I have. It was incredibly difficult to accept this decision -- it took me two days of crying and intensive ice-cream eating to accept that caring so much for another human being is unhealthy.

And tonight, I'm finally ready to talk to him.

I will probably regret it. I will probably hate myself for a while. But in the end, it's for my own good.

♣

My entire body is shaking when I see Taehyung's car stop in front of my house exactly five minutes after I sent him the text. My gut has completely turned itself inside out due to the immense nervousness that is currently drowning me, a thin layer of cold sweat covering every inch of my skin in a not-so attractive way. All colour that once tinted my face has completely drained, leaving a white-gray-purple canvas that's radiating anything but an appealing sight to witness.

I definitely did not look forward to face Taehyung looking like Frankenstein's bride.

Before opening the door, I urge myself to take a very deep breath and gather courage to remain at least a little bit calm.

You can do this.

With a tiny spark of hope flickering somewhere inside me, I finally step out of my house and clench my jaw as I fixate my gaze on his car. As soon as he sees me walking towards him, he almost bolts out of the driver's seat to approach me with quick steps.

As if someone closed their fist on my heart and squeezing it like they'd squeeze the juice out of a lemon, an evident pain pierces my heart when I see the condition he's in. He looks like shit just like me; extremely prominent purple bags underneath his bloodshot eyes, his skin pale and utterly lifeless. The only difference is the purple bruise on his jaw that only made my heart wrench harder in my chest.

Damn, Jimin really did hit him.

The fact that I did this to him, though, makes me really sick.

I can't do this.

Yes you will. Can't you see how much you both are hurting? End this, it's the only way.

I swallow every bit of uncertainty I had left and shake the second thoughts off of my system.

His eyes doesn't leave mine for a second when we approach each other. When we're close enough, I instantly raise my hand up in a protective manner when he proceeds to engulf me in his arms. The pain and sorrow that flashes across his entire face and eyes doesn't go unnoticed, as the sting in my chest only intensifies upon seeing his reaction to my defensive state.

"Don't," I merely whisper as I fight back the tears that are on the verge of bursting. "Let's just talk first."

He quickly runs his tongue over his bottom lip before biting down on it in a frustrated manner. The only reply I get is a short nod, but I was thankful that he wasn't pushing my fragile limits.

You can do this.

The atmosphere in the car is almost unbearable. The tension is suffocating me, and the silence between us is excruciating since we're both dying to say something. But we remain calm -- at least on the outside. My inside is anything but calm. It's like a raging tornado inside me, making me wish I could just finally burst and escape this mental torture.

The house is quiet and empty as always when we arrive at last. We are currently seated in his livingroom, facing each other while seated on two separate sofas, both of us fidgeting with our fingers while the silence is still hovering over us like a thick, suffocating cloud.

We both want to talk but we don't even know where to start.

"Blue listen-"

"Tae I-"

We both speak at the same time, but stop abruptly when our eyes meet and both stopping to let the other one continue.

We've never had so much trouble communicating before.

"I would never do that to you," he says with a completely serious expression. "You have to believe me. She means nothing to me, you're the only one that-"

"Taehyung," I interrupt him when I notice the panic behind his voice. I crack a small smile -- it was painful, but I managed. "I talked to Jin. There's no reason to why he, you or the others would ever lie to me. And I thought it was sketchy from the beginning, so please don't think that I don't trust you on this, because I do."

The relief that flooded his face lifted so much weight off of my heart, but it still feels like a heavy blob of lead because I might say everything he never expected me to say after what I just told him.

In a heartbeat, he wraps my hand between his two, holding on for dear life as a smile suddenly glows up his beautiful features. Even though he looks like shit, he still manages to appear beautiful to me. Fuck, this is so much harder than I thought it would be.

Stay strong.

Confusion replaces the previous, very brief moment of joy in his face as I retract my hand from his loving gesture. I slowly shake my head as I try to swallow the emotions that began to clog up my throat.

"What's wrong?" he asks with the softest voice, furrowing his eyebrows in a worrying manner. "Talk to me, please.."

"I can't do this anymore," I whisper, but it is barely audible.

"I didn't quite hear you-"

"I can't do this anymore, Taehyung," I say louder, my voice cracking as the tears still fight to break free. His lips part slightly in shock.

"What do you mean? Didn't you just say that-" he whimpers.

"I know. I know, and trust me this is really hard for me to do. I really care about you, so incredibly much but I can't do this anymore," I say with a weak voice, forcing out the words with great difficulty since I'm barely keeping myself together at this point.

"Why does it sound like you want to stop seeing me?"

I sigh sadly with exasperation, "Because that is what I'm trying to say. Can't you see that we're just breaking each other apart? We're not good for each other.."

"But this doesn't make any sense? You believe me, right? I didn't sleep with her I would never-"

I knew this was going to happen.

"Taehyung listen to me," I beg him. "This isn't because I think you had sex with her. It's what's been going on between us for two months. What are we, Taehyung? Whatever it is, it isn't normal. You refused to talk about it, and I just went along with it because I care for you so goddamn much!" I pause, breathing heavily as I feel my emotions starting to rage furiously inside me. "I've never felt like this for anyone before. And I'm downright terrified because I don't want to get hurt. No matter how much I trust you, because I do trust you so much, I will still be afraid.."

"I don't get it? Why do you think that I'm going to hurt you?"

"Because you're.. you."

Everything in his facial features falters just then. Hurt flashes across his eyes as his eyebrows curl up in utter sadness.

"You seriously think that everything we've been through has been a joke to me? That I've been lying to you all this time? Blue, you're not someone I take for granted. I didn't give a shit about anyone until I met you."

He pauses for a moment to drag his hands over his face in an anxious manner.

"Did Jin tell you what we talked about?" he then asks, to which I shake my head at. "They asked me why I never told them about us. I've been so unfair to you and the guys just because I was worried how everyone would react. I thought people would tell you all the shit I've done in the past and convince you to stay away from me. I thought the guys would make a big deal out of it and try to break us apart because we don't do relationships. Now when I think back on this, I realize how stupid it sounds.. I'm honestly so sorry for doing that to you. Just the thought of not being with you is torture for me.."

I bite down on my quivering lip. My vision blurs so quickly that I immediately divert my gaze before he can see my tears.

Shit. Oh shit, I definitely didn't expect him to say any of these things.

Oh my God, what am I supposed to do? I'm so close to lose it. I'm so close to give in and abandon everything I came here to do. Please, stay strong..

Whoa, wait a minute. Are you just going to leave him? After everything he just said? Girl, don't be stupid! How can you do that to him when he's hurting just like you? Try to fix this, don't run away!

Hey! Don't listen to her. She's the reason why we're in this goddamn mess in the first place. Do what you came here to do. Break. Things. Off. You're only bad for each other. You're doing both of you a favor if you walk away now.

"Blue.." His voice breaks me out of my thoughts, but I don't look up to meet his gaze. "Please give us a fair chance. I promise I will do things right this time. Just.. don't leave me, please.."

Stop. Stop stop stop stop stop STOP saying what my heart wants to hear, you're making it so much more harder for me to let you go.

"Taehyung, I've been in the wrong too. I hurt you.." I whimper through the tears, closing my eyes to keep them from falling.

"Are you talking about what happened with Jimin? I honestly don't even care about it anymore, just stay with me. We can forget everything and just start over, please."

Goddamn you, Taehyung.. Why won't you let me go? You can't possibly need me as much as I need you..

Impulsively, I stand up and take a few steps back away from him while shaking my head.

"No.. we're not good for each other. We should just stop this. It sucks so bad but it's better that way," I squeak out with much, much difficulty. With that, I finally gather enough courage to look him in the eyes.

"Blue, please don't.. Can't you at least think about it?" he hurriedly says while also getting up on his feet, proceeding to step closer to me but I keep backing away to maintain distance between us. I hate how utterly devastated he looks.

He's trying so hard to not let you go. What the hell is wrong with you?! Stop torturing the poor guy!

He will get over it and so will you. He will probably stop trying to change your mind soon enough. You're doing great, sweetie. Just hold on a little longer.

I hate my heart and my brain.

We heard that.

Good.

"Tae I really don't want to end whatever we had, but I just think that's the best for both of us. Don't make this harder than it already is," I croak, trying to keep my head high even though I'm literally on the edge of giving in. "I don't want any of us to get hurt and this is the only way."

Taehyung shakes his head frantically, "I won't hurt you. Don't let someone like Yuna ruin us. Please give me a chance.. I promise I won't let you down."

"Tae don't.. please," I beg him, my voice weak as I feel a tear escape at the corner of my eye. His jaw clenches when he notices my desperation, shoulders slumping in defeat, though he takes another step forward without tearing our gaze.

"Don't do this to me.." he murmurs, his breathing shaky as his eyes gloss up with agony and sorrow. Now he's one step away from me, my hand in his in a desperate grip. I try to free myself only half-heartedly as I keep wondering why he's trying so hard. I definitely wasn't counting on him to be this persistent, which only makes this billion times harder than I had thought. I close my eyes for a moment to gather the last bit of courage I can manage to dig up before meeting his gaze once more.

"Just let me go, Tae.." I whimper, feeling another tear run down my cheek since it was impossible to keep them in at this point.

He blinks a couple of times while he keeps begging me with his eyes to change my mind.

"Blue, I'm begging you."

I draw a shaky breath, feeling my heart sinking in my chest as I take in his beautiful features, distress written all over them.

"Let me go," I repeat with the most stable voice I can muster.

With one last tug, I feel my hand slipping through his. Everything inside me is aching with agony when I look at him one last time before finally turning around to leave. The tears are completely clouding everything in my way, but this is for the best. I knew it would all end up like this, anyway.

I can't believe I'm actually leaving him -- us. I'm actually walking away from the one that ever made my insides flutter with the most delicate kind of bliss. I already regret it, but I know we will both move on sooner or later.

That's what I at least thought until my vision swirls suddenly before feeling my back pressing against the wall, hands firmly holding onto my arms which left me immobilized.

My breath hitch at the unexpected impact, looking up to see that Taehyung was already staring intensely into my eyes. His arms are flexed, his fingers digging into my skin almost painfully, his chest rising visibly as he's breathing heavily. I am unable to form any sentences, even less coming up even a single word to say.

At first, he doesn't say anything and neither do I. I don't even try to move. Eventually his grip softens, though even if it was hurting I wouldn't notice since my mind is completely mesmerized by the way Taehyung is looking at me. To my fright, I feel my walls crumbling instantly.

Then, I feel his forehead gently pressing against mine, along with his body narrowing the little space left between us.

"You changed me into something I never thought I could be," he murmurs after a painfully long moment of only hearing each vigorous beat of my heart. "You ignited emotions inside me I never thought I could feel.."

A gentle warmth envelops my heart at his words. Even though he wasn't saying it directly, I understood what he was trying to tell me.

He draws his head backwards a tiny bit, just enough to be able to look into my eyes. The edge of his lips twitch slightly before he gently shakes his head.

"You're seriously stupid if you think I'd ever let you walk away from me."

He isn't letting me go.

Oh my heart is racing so bad as his words replay in my head like a broken record. Suddenly, the tears in my eyes aren't because of the sadness anymore -- it's happiness.

Did he mean all that? Is he saying that he is..

My thoughts get interrupted when I feel his fingers softly grazing my cheeks, before he eventually cups them gently, lovingly. A smile then tugs on his lips, his thumbs carefully stroking away the tears from the corner of my eyes.

"What I'm trying to say is.. I'm in love with you, Blue," he says with the most precious, vulnerable voice.

And just like that; everything inside me melts. My heart has never beaten this fast before.

I'm completely speechless. All I can do is to stare at him, study his eyes for any trace of lies -- but only to find them glowing with sincerity and affection.

"I've never felt this way about anyone and it scares me shitless how much I'm afraid of losing you. I need you.."

He gently takes my hand in his before placing it on his chest, where I can feel each frantic beat of his heart. It's beating so fast.

"This is what you do to me, Blue.. It belongs to you," he murmurs softly. "No more secrets. No more hiding. I'm yours only, if you'll have me."

Oh fuck it.

I crash my lips against his.

Every second thought I had is gone, along with every insecurity I once had about us. I know he meant what he said. I know that he won't let me down, but most importantly I know that I'm hopelessly in love with him.

And I refuse to run away from my feelings any longer.

He was right all along; I shouldn't let Yuna ruin my trust towards Taehyung. I can't believe I actually let her get to me -- I almost did exactly what she wanted me to. The thing that blows my mind though, is that he really fought for me. He refused to let me go.

And the only thing I will be letting go of is my doubt -- and instead I'm finally going to embrace him, all of him.

No more secrets. No more hiding.

He responds to my kiss immediately. His hands let go of my face to travel around my back, locking me in a tight embrace as his lips move desperately against mine. I let my arms rest around his neck, feeling my tears rolling down my cheeks one by one as I don't feel the need to hold them in anymore.