***

Arena glared at Kihyun from the kitchen table as he stood with his back to her, standing over the stove. She picked at her nail polish with a bored expression. The space between her forehead and eyes throbbed slightly, the presence of a migrane making themselves known. Arena rubbed her temples, sighing.

"Arena?" Kihyun turned around with the speed of light, his brow furrowed with the sound of his girl sighing like that. "That was some deep sigh.." He knelt down to get a better look at Arena.

"I'm fine." Arena pursed her lips at the growing pain in her skull, the throbbing becoming stronger with every minute that dared to pass. Kihyun eyed her suspiciously, raising his brows. His mouth was a straight line before he spoke out loud, "Uh huh."

He stood up, squeezing her shoulder as he returned to the stove to turn it off. Kihyun put the lid on his bubbling pot of seaweed stew and undid his small apron from behind his back. He placed the apron onto the counter, his hands stiff as he looked back at Arena over his shoulder. "I'll be right back, do not move."

Arena rolled her eyes, "When will this guy stop being my mom.." She leaned her head against the table, her forehead meeting with the cold surface of wood. She closed her eyes, trying not to think about the migrane that was sat comfortably in her skull. Arena couldn't remember the exact time she had gotten her first migrane, only that they had started becoming more and more frequent from the age of 15.

At that time the constant pounding in her head had been distracting and had affected her studying so she had taken painkillers almost everyday to ease the pain. It had worked at first but the more she bad taken them the more her system had started to get used to the affect of Ibuprofen. Until the day had come when the painkillers had had 0 percent affect on her whatsoever.

Usually it went like this - the louder the noise, the bigger the chance of getting a migrane. Arena had learned to live and deal with it, but sometimes the pain knocked her vision into something else. The first time it had messed with her vision it had scarred her for life, the horror Arena had felt and how scared she had been that something had actually happened to her eyes.

Arena kept her eyes closed, not daring to open them. It had been a while since the last time of her headache, but it still hit her hard when it did.

Kihyun returned, another small pill between his lean fingers. His hands were bigger than Arena's, the veins visible through his skin at the constant physical pressure and just for the fact that he was a man. The veins on his inner arms circled around his hand, popping out as the one's between his fingers. She had no idea why, but for some reason Arena found them very attractive. Hence the reason she enjoyed being in his arms.

Kihyun rubbed his eye sheepishly, placing the small blue tablet in front of Arena. He filled a glass with water, crouching down before Arena once again. "I'm gonna need you to take this after we eat. Your fever might be rising." Arena groaned, lifting her head. She opened up her eyes to see Kihyun's worried eyes staring back at her own from below. Her hand landed on the top of his light brown hair, his black roots showing just very gently. She slid her hand through his hair, marvelling at the softness of his strands. With him she felt safe. With him she felt right.

Kihyun took her hand from his hair, holding it softly as he moved it to his mouth. He kissed her knuckles, looking back up to her. "Can you stand up?" Arena nodded, trying not to think about how she might topple over. Kihyun pulled her up with ease, his strong hands wrapping around her waist and keeping her steady. He burned next to her, every sense aware of her presence. Her spirit filled the room and together they could fill the entire universe.

Arena chuckled softly, rising to her tiptoes with her hands around his neck. Kihyun leaned forward, Arena arching into him. The air was heavy upon them as their lips met each other halfway, slowly.

"I'm going to need you, to stop worrying, about me," whispered Arena, her mouth curving into one of her easy lazy smiles which met her tired but shining eyes. Kihyun opened his mouth to regroup as the front door opened, revealing the cheery voices of 6 other human beings. They pulled apart faster than they should have and Arena's world dizzed up momentarily in front of her eyes as she battled the effects of her migraine.

Kihyun eyed her, his fingers slowly squeezing into tight fists. Arena's stubborness was starting to bother him when it came to her health and well-being. He didn't want to play the age card, but he was older and smarter and knew better than her. The fact that Arena didn't let him take care of her frusturated him. Arena was too independent and proud to accept Kihyun's help.

His teeth clenched tightly together as Shownu popped his head around the corner.

"Ms. choreographer?" Shownu's eyes widened at the sight of her pale face in his dorm and then flicked to rest on Kihyun's stiff figure. His structured brow rose in question at their choreographer and Kihyun together in their kitchen with weird expressions and flushed cheeks.

Kihyun smiled, a pained tense smile that didn't reach his usually warm eyes, eyes that were now becoming more and more dangerously annoyed because of the girl before them. Of course it wasn't at Arena. It was at himself for not being to support her more. Now that he had her, he wanted to wrap her in bubble wrap and carry her around in his pockets. He wanted to dance with her, to kiss and hold her, to cook delicious food for her and wake up beside her.

He wanted her. More than anything.

Kihyun hadn't realized the affect of Arena on him. Suddenly he found himself wanting to do and try all of these different things. Everything included the gorgeous but awfully stubborn European girl standing before him in pain.

"Hey, I was just leaving, actually." Arena placed the fever pill onto the table with a thud, making her way around Kihyun to get out. His heart dropped when he realized what she'd meant and tried to grasp onto her, to stop her from leaving. From leaving him.

"Arena wait.."

She slipped through his fingers, looking back over her shoulder, a pained expression on her own face, "I have to go." Kihyun swallowed and looked away from her. If she could just once actually listen to what he thought instead of escape from every situation that got a little bit more heated. And not heated in that way. Every time Kihyun had tried to talk to Arena about the future or getting together longterm, she had avoided the subject, changing it as fast as possible.

Didn't Arena want to stay with him?

Kihyun's jaw was tensed as holding back a thousand words he still had to tell her. How could she just leave like that? He rubbed his temple, trying to go after her. Shownu's wide shoulders blocked his way out from the door. Kihyun could barely glimpse her hair, before seeing what happened next.

Arena's jaw was even more clenched, her heart beating fast. Why was she leaving...why was she running? She couldn't pull herself out of her thoughts fast enough not to bump into Wonho's full figure on her way to the front door. Her face connected with the rock hard muscles of his chest. Staggering back, Arena rubbed her forehead. Wonho's surprised gaze landed on her and her pale expression. Questions bubbled up inside of him.

"Hey...are you okay?"

"Peachy"

"You're leaving? Where's Kihyun?"

"Kitchen"

"Okay..."

Arena pulled on her Converse, her tired eyes meeting Hyungwon's bothered ones from across the room as Wonho turned from her. Soon there were two pairs of wide shoulders keeping Kihyun from getting out of the kitchen. A discussion was taking place between the three, their words getting more and more louder. Hyungwon looked at Arena with a look full of knowledge before he shook his head, turning away as well. Arena muttered a grim goodbye, stepping out of the dorm and closing the door behind her. She was met with silence, the aftersound of the door closing still ringing in her ears.

Outside, she was finally able to breathe freely again.

Kihyun.

It was him. Kihyun was here. In her heart and by her side. After all of this pain and longing they basically had each other and Arena was happy. So happy that the sky did seem bluer and the snow seemed whiter and the world was a whole lot more bright in general.

But then why did she feel like the fire inside of her was slowly starting to dim? Her fire. Shouldn't it have been the other way around with the love and passion lighting new flames inside of her.. Thinking about it made her head hurt even more. Something was going wrong and she couldn't figure out what. All Arena knew was that she had to or she would eventually hurt everyone.

She remembered the first time she had seen him, introduced in No.Mercy. She had watched him, rooted for him and cheered him on from behind her screen, supporting their debut and comebacks with everything she had. Arena had felt so strongly, not noticing when her bias crush eventually grew to reside in every available part in her heart. She hadn't known she was in love before Naha had pointed out that Arena no longer flirted or paid any attention to the male people around her.

Her heart had been taken, the love sitting inside of it, ready to wait no matter how long it took to find it's other half, the one it was longing for. It had caused her more pain than happiness, making her cry and keeping her up at night at the thought of him. All of those nights she had cried herself to sleep, only to wake up with puffy eyes the next morning, had gotten her here.

Her heart had found it's other half.

Then why was she running?

Arena sighed as she fished her phone out of the pocket of her coat, every possible trace of an actual smile gone from her face as the migrane made it's way rumbling through her.

The call connected in the very first 5 seconds, the reciever's happy voice ringing in Arena's ears. She walked toward the bus stop, looking behind her as she held the phone to her ear. Her hair flew around her face with the harsh wind of late December, making her eyes water when she turned.

"Listen to me carefully," Arena said to the phone microphone in clear English, her voice not very far from cracking. People on the street turned their heads towards her voice as she made her way through them. The English language intrigued them as the white girl making her way along the sidewalk, confidence in her steps and independence oozing from her pores,her shoulders slouched slightly with the heaviness of her feelings.

Arena cleared her throat and straightened her shoulders.

"I'm going to need you to do something for me."

***

"You should dye your hair.. the blonde looks kinda dull on you."

Naha ran next to Arena on the treadmills at their hotel gym, sweat dripping from her brow.

"Dull?" Arena looked over, trying to keep up her own pace as she tried to talk to Naha at the same time. A lonely earphone tangled from her ear as she ran, her leggings and tank top clinging to her body. She hated to admit that Monsta X was blasting into her left ear, making her thoughts swirl and end up in places they shouldn't.

"I mean yeah, don't you think a brighter color would suit your fiery nature?" Naha pressed buttons on the machine, her breathing ragged as she tried to slow it down to a walking speed. It was currently 10.40 PM, sleep nowhere in sight for the girls. Arena had navigated her GPS the best she could and luckily ended up at her hotel two hours later, with all of her change money spent on bus tickets.

She had felt the need to sweat it off, the entire day had been an awfully long emotional rollercoaster from Kihyun showing up in her room to confronting the Starship CEO to rumours surfacing and to being harrassed by sasaeng fans. Arena sighed, feeling the sensation of sweat tripping down her spine. It made her get shivers as she too, slowed down her treadmill.

"What bright color did you have in mind?" Arena glanced at Naha on her right, now fully stopped and just standing. Naha stepped off the treadmill and stretched, waiting for Arena to get off as well. They had been there since 9, and were done for the day.

"I know you've gone orange and pink before, but you haven't tried red.." said Naha as Arena jumped off her treadmill, handing Naha a towel and a bottle of water. Arena smiled, "It's something to think about."

The pair made their way up to their room with ease, chatting about what to get for a midnight snack after the workout they had just had. Naha examined her nails as Arena swiped the keycard in front of their room.

"Is it okay if I hit the showers first?" Naha pointed to their bathroom, feeling disgusted at her greasy hair. Arena laughed, "Go for it." It took Naha almost 3 entire seconds to shut the bathroom door behind her and turn on the shower. Soon the room was filled with the sound of water flowing. Arena plopped down to sit on the floor, not wanting to get her bedsheets sweaty.

She examined the room service menu, her phone laying beside her. Arena checked to see the time and found a new message waiting for her.

Arena sighed at her own stupidness...how could she just reply with "You too, sleep well"...Ugh she was annoyed. Arena connected her phone with a charger and left it on her nightstand, before standing up to write down what she wanted to order from room service on a piece of paper. She didn't think their message exchange felt awkward or tense and but she still felt bad about leaving like that earlier. Traces of regret were starting to bubble up inside of her, making arena wonder if her abrupt departure had hurt Kihyun's feelings. She hoped he was okay, after all she had heart his raised voice at Shownu earlier with no idea what it had been about.

Naha exited the bathroom 20 minutes later, a towel wrapped neatly around her thick hair to sit snugly like a towel turban on the top of her head. Arena turned to her, confusion in her eyes as if remembering something just now, "What's tomorrow?"

Naha stopped and crouched down to look for clean clothes from her suitcase and didn't raise her eyes as she shuffled through clothing after clothing, messing up her luggage even more.

"Isn't tomorrow their showcase and music video release for Stuck? I'm not sure though, but I did hear something from Wonho. Why are you asking?"

Arena grabbed her sweatshirt with some soft shorts beneath her arm. "Kihyun texted me that he'd see me tomorrow and I was thinking what tomorrow was for a second." She stopped for a moment with her hand on the bathroom door handle, "Can't believe I forgot."

"Well you were distracted probably," sounded Naha's muffled sound from the room as Arena closed the bathroom, throwing her clothes to the ground and stepping into the shower. As the water rushed onto her she could hear Naha plugging in her hair dryer and turning it on. Arena would have to borrow that later for herself as well.

When Arena had exited 17 minutes later they had immediately ended up getting some sweet potato fries delivered to their rooms and had snacked on them until they could no longer keep their eyelids open, falling into a restless but heavy sleep.

An alarm woke them back up the following morning, Arena almost falling out of her bed in surprise. A sharp yelp escaped from between her lips as she grabbed the sheets in hopes of gaining balance, instead pulling them down with her. Arena landed on the floor with a thud, the sheets landing straight on top of her.

"Ughhhhhh.." groaned Arena, rolling out from beneath her covers. She rubbed her eyes, sitting up. As she struggled to stand, the immediate muscle pain in her thighs took her by surprise. Arena staggered on her feet, shaking out her legs that would now be hurting until tomorrow.

"Right, we ran," breathed Arena silently, remembering the moment of terror from yesterday when she and Kihyun had had to flee from the scene of crazy and obsessive fans. Arena couldn't imagine living a life like that. Where people watched your every move, knew everything about you and even followed you around. These weren't fans...they were stalkers, invaders of privacy.

Arena had never liked cardio, and she absolutely hated running. Arena now hated herself for getting on that treadmill yesterday as she very rarely ran. Ever.

She slowly made her way to the bathroom, wincing and passing a breathing pile of blankets on Naha's bed. Arena smiled, trying to keep her thoughts as positive as possible for the upcoming days she now had to face.

***

"Yes, this is the key part..." Arena stood next to the camera director of MCountdown, bringing out the main parts of the choreography that should be focused on. She was wearing jeans that weren't ripped for once, the black fabric clinging to her well toned thighs. Jaehyun had driven her and Naha out to the recording building, bringing Naha along because she could help with the stage makeup and hair.

Arena had seen Kihyun a few times, once when they had entered together with Monsta X's crew of managers and stylists and the other time when he had approached her outside of the restrooms. She hadn't been with them in their dressing room like Naha had, Arena had been going around, talking with directors and camera men. She had been standing beneath the stage for the rehersal, a place where the audience would be in an hour.

"Hey," Arena smiled, tugging her cellphone back into the pocket of her black skinny jeans, ending the call with Mrs Park. Arena's hair was braided into a neat french braid, a very few loose strands framing her face nicely. Kihyun beamed back, the excitment shining clear on his bare face that didn't hold a trace of makeup just yet. He held a bundle of black tightly underneath his arm as he approached.

"Hi," he moved to hug her, Arena's eyes flicking around to make sure no one was watching them before she wrapped her arms around his waist. The smell of his manly Jo Malone cologne engulfed her, making the rational side of her mind quit working. She sighed, her face nestled in his black hoodie. Kihyun kissed her neck sneakily before pulling away, grinning.

"We made these." He twirled around showing off his brand new Monsta X merch hoodie. It had the name of their new album and logo on the front, with Kihyun's name and the last two numbers of his birthyear on the back.