She touched her lips. Had this just been a mind trick? Something that she had conjured out of the deepest and darkest bits of her brain? Because that had felt real as hell and yet she was sitting here with the door closed with no sign of him.

Arena's mind was spinning as she staggered to gain her footing.

What the hell had she just imagined? Did she really think that he would just ~appear~ behind the door and make out with her? Arena was wtf'ing herself like never before. Perhaps her feelings for him weren't as lost as she had thought. Clearly not as lost. Maybe Arena's sleep deprivation was now catching up with her and making her see hallucinations.

"I knew I still liked you."

Did he really tho? Nah, probably not. That was just Arena's stupid and tired mind, making up shit that will never ever ever actually happen. And he hadn't even had time to get to know Arena better. They had like spent only 3 hours together. He had hung out with a complete stranger and given her his complete trust.

Had he been out of his mind?

But maybe, the saying girls fall in love in 3 months and boys in 3 seconds held true. Or in this case 3 hours..?

Psffft of course not. Not with him.

Or at least that's what Arena's mind was constantly telling her so she wouldn't forget her place. Even if by some miracle Arena realized that she actually has feelings for Kihyun and he for her..they could never ever date. Not in this industry. It would put Arena's life and Kihyun's career on the line. Which is why it was a good thing it was never gonna happen :)

Arena opened the door to find yours truly standing behind it.

"Oh no, not doing this again," muttered Arena and started to close the door in his face. Kihyun snaked his foot between the door and the doorframe, causing Arena to fail in closing the door completely.

"Arena, wait."

Arena pulled the door open, but not entirely and looked at Kihyun from under her lashes. Like he was on a higher level than her.

Because he was.

"What do you want?" her voice was quiet and tired. These past few weeks had been so difficult with Arena barely sleeping and spending her time in the studio or out in the amazing city of Seoul.

Kihyun smiled a little smile. He understood that his actions today had not been justified under any means. Arena was working so hard for them and he was just being a d*ck about it.

If Arena hated him? Fine. She could hate him, but that did not mean that he hated her. Kihyun enjoyed Arena's presence. And he'd be damned forever if he didn't at least try to fix their brief but noticeable connection. If Arena denied him and his intentions....then at least he had tried.

The time they had spent together at the hotel? Having fun and just feeling free. That's what he wanted. Someone he could be himself with. Someone who did not care if he had on makeup or if he was acting like a proper idol should according to the 'etiquette'.

But Arena wasn't Korean. She hadn't been raised in the strict and harsh Korean society. He didn't have to put on an image with her. Everyone expected so much from the main vocal. Everyone expected him to hold up the 'group mom' image.

The truth? He wasn't the mom. Kihyun might be caring and an amazing cook. But that didn't automatically make him the mom. Firstly he was a male. Only in very few circumstances could a male be a mom. And he was wayyyy too young to be a parent. By his standards at least.

Second, can any of you imagine the pressure that is being a main and lead vocal? The fact that you have to do perfect at every recording, pre-recording, concert, show and whatnot. Be responsible for sometimes an entire chorus and the killing part and not never mess up because that's the part everyone is always listening the most closely to. Yeah. That sounds like a lot, doesn't it.

Seeing Arena today and letting her teach him had made Kihyun actually realize how much he had missed being himself. Of course he could always be himself with his members but there were always... and I mean always, cameras somewhere.

They never actually escaped the cameras.

"Kihyun?"

He hadn't realized that he had been just staring at Arena's shoulder and quickly raised his deep brown eyes to meet her curious hazel ones.

"Huh?"

Arena sighed and leaned her right shoulder against the inner doorframe. The corners of her mouth quirked upwards for a millisecond as she studied the idol standing a foot from her.

"Was there a reason you're here again?" asked Arena as shivers went down her spine. Even though it wasn't cold and it wasn't exactly hot, the guy in front of her made her feel like this.

Push. It. Down.

Kihyun scratched his neck and smiled apologetically. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for acting like an ass."

Arena let out a small chuckle as Kihyun stood over there cringing, his mind running wild over thoughts of what to say or do.

He cleared his throat and stood up straighter, making the ripped knees of his dark jeans disappear deep into the folds of the loose fabric wrapped around his muscular idol legs.

"Have you eaten?"

"What?"

"I asked, if you have eaten." His words were slow and clear as he spoke calmly.

Arena raised her eyebrow and shook her head no. What were his intentions? Was he worried about her or was he planning on taking her out to eat? Either way Arena felt that this interaction wasn't exactly something that should be happening right now. Or at any other time.

"What do you mean?"

Kihyun sighed and rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, he smiled slouching and leaning against the outer doorframe.

"I mean exacly what I said, Arena."

Arena's eyebrows pulled together in confusion as her eyes roamed his face as she was trying to figure him out. She tilted her head to the side and then back. Finally she gave up. Arena crossed her arms over her chest sighing. "No I haven't, why?"

Kihyun frowned and took one step forward. Only one. He looked Arena over from her toes to her hair and then squinted closely at her. "Have you been eating at all?"

Arena felt set back as she, too, looked down at her thighs. "What even? Of course I have."

Kihyun raised his eyebrow in disbelief as he looked her straight in the eyes. "Stop losing weight."

"I'm not!" Arena rolled her eyes as she stepped away from the doorframe.

"I am not having this conversation with you right now." She turned her back and walked back to her notebook and water bottle that she had left on her table after talking with Wonho.

But Arena hadn't closed the studio door, so Kihyun stepped inside and closed it himself.

"Arena, I'm serious. Have you even looked yourself in the mirror?"

Arena let out a loud frustrated breath as she turned around swiftly to face the ever-following Yoo Kihyun of Monsta X. Why couldn't he just live his own life. For years Arena had felt unconfident about herself and her body image. She was fairly skinny but considered chubby when compared to Korean girls who had stick like thin legs and small waistlines with small torsos.

Needless to say that Arena felt even more unconfident here but what could she do? She didn't have stick legs because she was an athlete. A dancer. Someone who's legs always got the most of the workout, even when dancing. For her it was leg day everyday. Her genes and family image were no different and it was obvious that she wasn't like others. She didn't look like others. And that made her feel bad about herself.

Even if it absolutely under any means should not have.

She sighed again and cracked her neck, "Yes I have looked myself in the mirror, I've been looking straight at it and my reflection for weeks as I've been making your damned choreography, okay? Now please leave it, because I really do not want to talk about it."

Arena didn't turn away as a single tear rolled down her cheek. She stared at the ground as she wiped it away with her sleeve. Kihyun was watching her with a sad look on his face. He had to diet and lose weight and work out as a part of his job and idol life. But why was Arena doing the same? He thought she looked amazing. But he wasn't sure if now was the right time to say it to her as she'd just push him out of the door and maybe even lock him out of her life again.

He took a deep breath and pulled an unused tissue from the pocket of his black bomber jacket. He held it out to Arena who looked like new tears would splash out at any second.

"Want it? It's new and I haven't used it."

Arena scoffed smiling and it made the tears spill out of her eyes as she accepted the offer and dabbed them away gently. "Thank you." She truly felt thankful.

Offering someone a tissue when they were in an emotional state was a powerful gesture that ultimately meant something like: 'I see your emotion. I am responsive to it. I am impacted by your feelings and I am in this process with you. I am not standing back, aloof and unaffected by it. I can and will absorb what you feel and you can count on me.'

Kihyun didn't say any of that out loud because he didn't need to. It would have been obvious to anyone around.

Arena finished drying her tears and kept the tissue, pushing it down into the pocket of her pants. She gave a little cough as she cleared her airways and smiled a weak and somewhat seemingly fake smile. Arena took a deep breath, Kihyun watching her silently the entire time with a stern and serious expression on his face. Arena still actually had no real idea why he was even here. They had somehow strayed from their original conversation and ended up passing tissues inside of the studio.

"Ah, I should probably pack up, it's getting late," muttered Arena as she started picking up her belongings all over the spacious room. Kihyun stood awkwardly and scratched his neck, trying to find the right course of action. "Want me to help?"

Arena stopped untangling her headphone wires to look at him. "Umm, yeah, sure, go ahead if you want to."

Seriously, what was up with this guy?

Kihyun moved from his stoic position he had been standing in the past 5 minutes and collected Arena's USB and laptop from the few tables in the studio.

The studio had different colored walls, 2 of them which were dark blue and one of them which was white. One wall was also entirely a mirror. One of the walls held a big white shining Starship Entertainment sign with their Spaceship logo. Arena thought it was adorable.

One end of the studio had the few tables with couches and some chairs, while the other end held the music station on a special counter. The middle was empty for obvious reasons.

The studio door was big and heavy and made of door material.

[seriously don't even ask because I have 0 idea what most doors are made of except wood, if anyone would let me know in the comments then that'd be awesome thx]

AnYwAy

The door was heavy and firm. You couldn't see through it nor could you hear anything since the whole space was soundproof including the door.

Again.

For obvious reasons.

"Is that everything?" Kihyun looked around to see if they had missed anything or left something behind.

Arena shook her head as she pulled her backpack zipper closed and heaved it onto her shoulder awkwardly. She should have been calling Jaehyun to take her home by now but for some reason the smartphone in her pocket stayed untouched.

He cleared his throat as they moved to the door together, "So.. um.. want to get something to eat?" asked Kihyun as he opened the door for Arena that earned him a small smile. He stepped through after her and pulled the door closed behind him. There was no point in locking it as only certain people ever got into the building or to the studio itself. Most of the time no one even cared about it and went on with their own things.

Arena looked up to him as she pressed the elevator button for 'down'.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a diet or something?"

The elevator dinged and they stepped in. It reminded Arena of the first time they had ridden an elevator together and how nervous it had made her feel. This time..it felt just like any other elevator ride, though Arena was hugely aware of Kihyun's presence beside her. He filled the entire small space of an elevator

Arena's heartbeat had been quicker than usual ever since she had seen him behind the door but never as quick as it had been in her dream.

"Actually I should probably head back to the hotel.." Arena pulled out her phone as she finally dialed her driver's number, "Naha is probably waiting for me." She placed the phone next to her ear as she made the call.

"Hey Arena! Need a ride home?"

Arena smiled as she heard Jaehyun's cheery tone. It earned a look from Kihyun who seemed to be getting closer then when they first entered the lift. Arena couldn't even say anything to him as she was on the phone and explaining things to Jaehyun.

Kihyun stepped in front of Arena and crouched down his head onto the other side of Arena's phone to listen in on the conversation. She didn't know it yet but as she was busy shooting daggers with her eyes at him for listening, he dropped something into her pocket.

"I'll be in front of the building in a few minutes."

Arena hung up the phone as the elevator doors opened revealing the bright ground floor. Kihyun stepped back and winked at her.

"See you tomorrow," he stepped out of the elevator as he said his last words, "and check your right pocket, just in case something important might be inside," He disappeared around the corner almost instantly and Arena was left standing dumbfounded at the open metal doors.

Tf? What had the point of this last half an hour been if he was just going to walk away like that?

Arena noticed the elevator doors starting to close again and quickly slipped out between them to exit the building and drive back 'home' to her best friend who had been waiting there for her the entire day.