I guess it is sort of strange that I've never looked them up, Leann said to herself as she grabbed her battered cell phone. "Monsta X," she intoned slowly as she typed the words into the search engine. I guess I'll just start with the first video that came up, she thought as she clicked on Love Killa. Already, she knew that she had an issue with the spelling of "Monsta" and "killa," but she decided to lay those concerns aside and try to approach it with openness.

"Oh, my!" she spoke aloud. It certainly wasn't as bad as some videos she had seen in the US, but something about seeing Shownu in this highly sexualized way disconcerted her. She was used to his shy smile and the apparent innocence of his eyes. She watched his dance moves and noted how smooth and sensual they were. She felt heat creep up the back of her neck. She had been slowly falling for him over the past few weeks. She saw it happening, but felt powerless to stop it. But now, seeing the kind of music he was doing made her feel anxious. I really shouldn't have looked this up right now, she thought. Just as I'm headed out the door, I decide to complicate things. How am I supposed to look him in the face with the image of his undulating hips fresh in my mind?

Since the weather was becoming warmer, they had decided to meet at a park for their English lessons. As Leann got off the bus, she saw Shownu immediately jump up from the bench to give her his hand to help her off the bus.

"You're here," he said, stating the obvious.

"Yeah," she whispered, avoiding his eyes. Oh, damn. Seriously, just when I was finally getting comfortable with him, now I'm all stirred up again!

Sensing her discomfort, Shownu let go of her hand. They sat beside each other on the park bench, but Leann scooted over a bit to put some space between them.

She pulled out the workbook and placed it on her knees. Shownu leaned in to be able to see it better. Leann could smell his cologne which smelled somewhat like black pepper and bamboo. Nooo! Why does he have to smell good too? It's not fair. I don't stand a chance. She wanted to move further away from him, but if she did, he wouldn't be able to see the workbook. So, she forced herself to stay put, but she could feel heat emanating from his legs which were partially visible in his red basketball shorts.

She took in a shaky breath. "So, today we are talking about direct objects and you will see where you put them in a sentence..." The lesson continued as Leann made every attempt to avoid looking at Shownu directly. He dipped his head several times, trying to catch her eye, but he found it impossible. When the tense lesson finally ended, Leann rose quickly to begin her departure. Shownu took her quickly by the forearm as he stood.

"Hey, is anything wrong? You seem off. Did I do anything to upset you?" he questioned with a look of concern.

"No, of course not," she responded. She wished he would let go of her arm, but she didn't want to rudely shake it loose either. He continued to search her face.

"I was hoping to invite you to lunch today, if you can make it," he ventured.

"Um, I'm not sure. I am kind of busy today."

"Oh, yeah. I understand," he said as he let go of his grip on her arm. "But you have to eat something," he said, studying her face.

Just then, as if on cue, her stomach growled. She put her hand over it and glared down at her belly, resentful of its betrayal. She hoped maybe he hadn't heard it, but by the way his eyes got wide, she knew he had.

"Come on. At least let me buy you a snack from a food stall or something," he encouraged as he placed a protective arm over her shoulders. She jerked unconsciously.

His face fell. Something was definitely wrong, but what was it. He couldn't remember having said something to offend her, but he could definitely feel that her walls were up again.

"Please, tell me what's wrong," he pleaded as his eyes took on the look of an abandoned puppy.

Not the eyes! Not the eyes! Leann did her best to hide her panic.

"If I did something wrong, don't you think you owe it to me to tell me what it is so I can make it right?" he questioned softly.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She bit her lip, wondering if she should continue. He was right. He did have the right to know. "The thing is that I looked up your music this morning --- you know --- to try to get to know you better. And, well, I started to worry if maybe the guy in the video is really who you are."

"Well, what video did you see," Shownu questioned.

"Love Killa," she whispered back.

"Oh," he laughed softly. "You know the company chooses which songs we do and they tell us the choreography. It's not like I am really that person in the videos."

"So, you aren't a player?" Leann wondered aloud.

"No. Oh, God, no!" he said. "I'm one of the shy ones. Listen, we work so much, there isn't a lot of time to get myself into any trouble. The only reason I get to see you is that you are flexible with your schedule. Most girls aren't like that. They have jobs and family expectations that make them pretty unavailable."

"So, you hang out with me because I'm available. Is that what I'm hearing?"

"Wow, it never ceases to amaze me how you can twist anything and make it sound like I don't like you," Shownu pointed out. "You know, I have so many things I want to say to you, but I'm afraid of how you will react. I don't want to scare you away."

"Like, what kinds of things do you want to say," Leann questioned, not sure that she was ready for his answer.

Shownu looked at the ground for a moment and kicked idly at a loose bit of gravel. Slowly, he raised his head to meet her anxious face.

"I want to say that every time I see you, my heart feels like it's going to pound out of my chest. I want to say that you are my first thought every morning and the last thought I have at night." He took a deep breath and plunged back in. "I want to say that your eyes make me weak in the knees. I wish I could tell you how much I admire you and how smart I think you are. I wish you knew that I think you are braver than you know."

Leann's expression betrayed nothing of her feelings, but he pressed on, undaunted. He was on a roll and there was no stopping it now.

"I wish you knew that I check my phone a hundred times a day, just hoping you have texted me about something other than English worksheets. I am not eating well. I can't sleep at night. I keep getting yelled at in rehearsal because my head's not in it. This is what you've done to me and I can't undo it! Please, have some mercy on me. Please, see me for who I am and not for the persona you see on TV."

By this time, Shownu's impassioned speech had brought a tear to his eyes. Leann stood motionless under the onslaught of his powerful words. Trust was hard, but it was equally hard to ignore the sincerity of his feelings.

"I think I can see you," said Leann hesitantly.

Shownu moved closer. "What about now? Can you see me now?" he asked.

Leann's breath caught in her throat, but she managed to nod her head.

He moved closer, taking her forearms in his hands. "Can you still see me?" he said as his breath brushed her forehead.

"Uh-huh," she whispered.

He studied her face, silently asking for permission to take that final step toward her. She said nothing, but her eyes drifted shut as he closed the final distance between them and placed a soft kiss on her upturned lips. She didn't pull away. So, Shownu ventured to place one arm around her back and to deepen the kiss.

He had no way of knowing she had never been kissed before. Her response was so natural and unstudied. After several moments, Shownu stepped back and looked down at her, hopeful to see the openness on her face that he had seen several times in the past.

Bingo, there it is, he thought. He saw her eyes taking him in fearlessly. She looked at his smooth skin and his broad shoulders as if she felt she had every right to look. He let out a relieved breath. He thought of leaning in to kiss her again, but decided against it.

Better quit while you're ahead, buddy. Slow and steady, he thought. We have all the time in the world.

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