༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

It seemed that opening up to me helped Hyungwon a lot. His nightmares became much less frequent and less intense

he says

We are seated on a couch at my house, watching a documentary about fishes

Hyungwon snorted

In one swift move, Hyungwon had me pinned down against the couch, looming over me. He was so close I was worried that he could hear my heartbeat pounding

he whispered

We stared at each other for a few seconds before I regained my senses and pushed him off

I heard him mutter to himself

I sat in silent horror as Eunmi's words about our sexual tension resonated through my mind. Was this what she was talking about?

I blurted, standing up

Hyungwon questioned

He hastily gathered his personal items and shut the door behind him. I collapsed on the couch. No no. I could not be thinking these thoughts. I could not be a person with a hopeless crush

I wailed

I had been in denial entire time, but what happened just then served as a reality check. The way his eyes bore into mine, the way my heart raced, the way his pupils dilated in anticipation, the way I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to kiss me so badly

I screamed again, clutching at my hair

I should've know better. That never worked

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

I spent the following weeks avoiding him. I gave his homework to his mom. I didn't visit him. I didn't text him. Virtually all contact between us had en severed. If I could keep this up, them my feelings for him would disappear eventually too.

At school, Soyoung and Changkyun reclaimed their place as the hottest couple. Whenever Eunmi and I walked past him , he acted like she didn't even exist. Soyoung made sure to rub it in Eunmi's face. We were in the same art class, and she would recount in fine detail about how she and Changkyun were so in love

Eunmi stuttered. But that was all

By the third week of avoiding Hyungwon, it became somewhat easier

I was working a late shift at the diner. I checked my phone for messages from Hyungwon before I remembered that I had blocked his number. I stepped out of the store and I bumped into one of the last people I wanted to bump into

Im Changkyun

I rolled my eyes and walked on, but he stopped me

I stopped resisting

He led me to a small barbeque tent and used his ID to order liquor. When I asked him why, he said it was because he needed the courage that liquor elicited to talk to me about Eunmi

After a few drinks, he started talking

I folder my arms skeptically. I was completely sober

Changkyun downed another shot of liquor

I raised my eyebrows

Changkyun laughed to himself

He paused to drink another shot

He ran his hand through his hair

Changkyun got this sort of far-away look in eyes

He laughed again, it was hollow and broken

Changkyun finally met my eyes

He stood up, staggering a little

I got him into a taxi and handed the driver a wad of cash. I told him Changkyun's address and watched them drive away into the distance. I bused home in a daze, thinking about Changkyun's words. As I rounded the block to my house, I noticed a familiar vehicle parked in my driveway

Asleep against my front door was Hyungwon, dressed in a fleece hoodie the color of the night sky.