༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

Hyungwon sipped his cup of hot cocoa as I stirred mine. He looked completely and utterly drained. He bore minimal resemblance to the Chae Hyungwon I was familiar with. Gone was his air of arrogance and charisma. In this place was a broken boy, sad beyond imagination

he muttered in disbelief

I drank from my cup. The liquid seared my lips but barely noticed

Hyungwon peered vacantly at his mug

Despite the hot cocoa, I was shivering

I said hesitantly

He lifted his head and directed his eyes onto mine. I almost gasped aloud. They were filled with immeasurable anguish

Hyungwon shakily drew in a breath

I almost couldn't believe that he told me all of this. He wasn't even bothering to hide anything anymore. He didn't have enough energy

he whispers

Right then, I felt something foreign blossom in my chest. A type of pain, one that I've never experienced before. Seeing him in pain hurt me so much. It was so raw. So vivid

His eyes lingered on mine for a few moments and his expression was guarded

he said

It was 5 am and the buses were running. I was in no shape to argue with him, so I did. I grabbed my bag

I said as I pulled on my shoes

He didn't look at me

I managed a tight smile before shutting the door behind me

●・○・●・○・●・○・●・○・●

My eyes were trained on the clock that hung above the blackboard. It was advanced integral calculus, the last class of the day. Professor Kim drone on, but it was all white noise to me. I could hear the clock ticking, but I could not detect any movement of the hands. There was supposed to be less than a minutes left before class ended

Drriing!!

I swung my backpack over my shoulder and zipped out the classroom. Just as I was about to exit the front doors of the academy, I tripped

I was hurled forward and landed unceremoniously on my stomach. I heard snickering. It was that prick Im Changkyun

I asked, picking myself up

Changkyun smirked, but he looked a bit uneasy

I asked

Lately she'd been spending more time with Changkyun than with me

I glanced at him warily

He led me to the back of the school, a place him and his clique have already established as their territory. Nobody dared loiter around

I raised my eyebrows at him. He was flustered and avoiding eye-contact, like he was genuinely embarrassed

For some reason, Changkyun began fuming

I was too confused to be offended

Changkyun shook his head

he spat

I fell silent. So he actually wanted to get Eunmi something meaningful

I offered

Changkyun's eyes lit up

He didn't even wait for a response before he whipped out his phone

I chuckled to myself as I caught the bus to Changkyun's house. Things were finally starting to look better. Hyungwon opened up to me about his nightmares and Eunmi would finally find the love that she deserved.

The ancient Hyundai that usually parked in his driveway in the daytime was absent. Maybe his mother was out

I knocked on the door. Silence. I knocked again. Nothing. Perplexed, I knocked louder. Was Hyungwon not home? I glanced at the empty driveway. He couldn't drive, his leg was fractured

I knew where they kept their spare keys. Maybe Hyungwon was asleep or something. I would just check on him, Mrs Chae wouldn't object if I left right after

I inserted the key and swung the door open. The lights were all off. Everything was neat and orderly, like usual

I tiptoed upstairs and gently eased open Hyungwon's door. His room was vacant, his bed is empty. For the first time it was neatly made. Resting atop his sheets was a folded note. Furrowing my eyebrows, I unfolded it and read it

✲꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏✲

I've always considered suicide notes kind of melodramatic. But I didn't get to tell you goodbye. Mom, this isn't your fault, it never was, and and although I don't tell you enough, I love you.

And Miyoung, if you ever read this, Thank you

Forgive me

✲꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏ ꘏✲

My mind raced, and so did my heartbeat

"I can't have them,again, Miyoung. I don't think I can take it"

The absent car. The locked garage.

He was going to kill himself