༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

We remained rivals for quite some time. Throughout middle school we manged to maintain an ardent mutual hatred for once another.

High school rolled along, and as the date for senior finals drew nearer, I isolated myself completely from nearly any form of social interaction. My best friend Eunmi was used to it, so she didn't question my behaviour. I was locked up in my room right after school, studying furiously, often staying up until past 2

It was 2:45 am when I received a text, out of the blue, from Hyungwon.

Frog

You're so pretty

Me

Are you drunk?

Frog

Probably

I rolled my eyes. Hyungwon hated getting drunk because he hated having hindered perception. Why on earth was he doing it now?

Me

Get your ass back to your house and study something instead of attending frivolous parties, you amphibian

Frog

Live a little

Me

Which party are you at?

Frog

Yunho's

Me

I'm coming to get you

Frog

That' unnecessary

Me

You're drunk, and I'm assuming all your friends too

Frog

Why would you trouble yourself by coming here?

Me

I'm preventing drunk driving accidents

20 minutes later, Hyungwon and six of his friends were crammed into my mom's tiny Hyundai and I was weaving in and out of the neighbourhood, trying to send them home

Changkyun called

Jooheon chided

I kept repeating to myself that these idiots were drunk and senseless, but it was still annoying whenever they called me.

Kihyun said

Shownu, the father of the group, lectured

Minhyuk was already snoring away in the back, and Hyungwon was sulking in the front, with me

he said under his breath

I gripped my steering wheel, turning a corner

I let the six of them out on the same street, because they live in the same street, because they all live literally beside each other. Only Hyungwon lived elsewhere

We drove in near silence towards his house. Hyungwon leaned back against the seat, his tousled hair flopping backwards. His eyes were closed

I pulled into his driveway and turned off my engine

Hyungwon didn't look at me as he slammed the car door behind him. I watched as he dug his keys in his pant pocket and unlocked the front door. He paused and took a breath. He seemed uncharacteristically reluctant to enter.

But he did. He disappeared inside his darkened house and I started my engine. I tried not to think of him as I drove home alone in the inky night. He was no important. He never was. He never will

༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶

The result of finals were finally up, and I was certain that this time, I had beaten Jooheon. I pushed past they labyrinth of eager seniors hoping to find their names ranked within the top ten

My eye fell immediately on first place. They widened and I let out a shriek

It was me. For the first time in my life, I had placed first. I had beaten Jooheon, who was second. My brows furrowed in confusion as I searched for Hyungwon. He wasn't third, nor fourth

someone said

I turned to face the crowd of people, and instantly, I found him

He was so pale, paler than usual. His eyes flickered in disbelief, but quickly became impassive. He was shaking. Just as I took a step toward him, he bolted down the hall, away from everyone

He ran so fast, I could barely keep up.

I called

He either didn't hear me, or he disregarded me

I found him in a deserted stairwell. He was leaning against a wall, hyperventilating and shaking and sweating

Panic attack. He was having one, but why? Because he didn't place first like usual?

I sputtered

Of course he didn't answer. His hands were gripping his air and his eyes were wild. I though of the first time he had panic attack in my presence, in the forest, in third grade. It was much less intense that the one he was having now

Whatever triggered his attack was much darker than entomophobia.

I watched helplessly as Hyungwon completely lost himself, right before my eyes.

There was nothing I could do to help him.