Ginny: *blushing* Hey Harry

Harry: *not actually into her* Oh hey, Gin-

Draco: BITCH, I WILL CUT YOU-

Harry: *😗*

Ginny: *☹*

Draco: Potter can go die-

Draco: *swaggers away*

Harry: Ugh, i didn't get any sleep last night

Hermione: There's this myth that when you can't sleep, someone's thinking about you-

Harry: WHO ON EARTH WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT ME AT 2 IN THE MORNING!?

Draco: *sweats nervously*

*after fighting deatheaters*

Hermione: *pats them on the back* Good job, gays-

Harry:

Draco: Granger, did you mean to say guy-

Hermione: Did i fucking stutter?

Harry: *petting Buckbeak*

Draco: I want to ride that.

Pansy: I thought you didn't like Hippogriffs?

Draco: I wasn't talking about the Hippogriff-

Blaise: *loses Draco in the crowd*

Blaise: HARRY POTTER IS GREAT-

Draco: *appears out of nowhere*

Draco: EVERYONE THINKS HE'S SO SMART, SAINT POTTAH WITH HIS SCAR AND BROOMSTICK-

Blaise: Found him-

Harry: Fuck you

Draco: Is that an insult or a promise?

Harry's to do list:

•Go to Gringotts

•Do homework

•Draco Malfoy

•Save the world again

•Buy new robes

•Draco Malfoy

Lucius: *drunk* Narcissa, *hiccup* i think our son is gay-

Narcissa: *already knew* Why do you think that, dear?

Lucius: Well, *hiccup* he talks about the Potter boy a lot-

Lucius: Oh and i don't know it means *hiccup* but i walked in on him *hiccup* being fucked by Potter-

Narcissa: *didn't know they were together yet* .....Wow-

Lucius: It's the first one, *hiccup* i-isn't it?

If Harry and Draco were roomates:

Harry: So are you top or bottom?

Draco: *blushes and sweats nervously* Well, uhm.... haha... I'm-

Harry: I'm talking about the bunk beds, quit being gay for a minute-

Dinner in Malfoy Manner:

Draco: Daddy, can you pass the salt?

Lucius: Of course-

Harry: Sure-

Lucius:

Harry:

Draco:

Narcissa:

Dead Marauders:

Godrick Gryffindor:

Dead Lily:

Dead Dumbledore:

Obama:

Dead Snape:

Salazar Slytherin:

The Queen:

Draco: I can explain-

Draco: I can't believe it-

Draco: I, honest to Merlin, cannot believe this is happening to me-

Draco: WE KISSED; we're HUGGING-

Draco: I'm hugging Harry FUCKING Potter-

Draco: And you kissed mY FOREHEAD-

Draco: I'm dead. I'm gone. It's just too much for me to handle-

Harry: *holding in a laugh* Draco, we've been married for 7 years-

Draco: and wE'RE MARRIED-

Draco: I can't imagine Snape with a sex life.

Harry: ...... What the fuck, Draco-

Draco: *imitating Snape* Move to position 394-

Harry: *spits out Butterbeer*

Narcissa: Just checking, i wasn't the only one that heard Draco and Hary last night, right?

Lucius: No.... I.. uh.....heard them too-

Narcissa:

Lucius:

Narcissa: ... He gets the screaming from you when you're with Severus-

Lucius:

Harry: Hey guys? I'm kind of seeing someone-

Hermione: we know you're gay but who is it?

Harry: Well, you probably don't exactly love this guy-

Ron: Just rip the bandage off mate

Harry: It's Draco Malfoy-

Ron: Put it back on-

Aight, I'mma go now-