《Harry Potter Oneshots》Just random scenarios i came up with-
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Ginny: *blushing* Hey Harry
Harry: *not actually into her* Oh hey, Gin-
Draco: BITCH, I WILL CUT YOU-
Harry: *😗*
Ginny: *☹*
Draco: Potter can go die-
Draco: *swaggers away*
Harry: Ugh, i didn't get any sleep last night
Hermione: There's this myth that when you can't sleep, someone's thinking about you-
Harry: WHO ON EARTH WOULD BE THINKING ABOUT ME AT 2 IN THE MORNING!?
Draco: *sweats nervously*
*after fighting deatheaters*
Hermione: *pats them on the back* Good job, gays-
Harry:
Draco: Granger, did you mean to say guy-
Hermione: Did i fucking stutter?
Harry: *petting Buckbeak*
Draco: I want to ride that.
Pansy: I thought you didn't like Hippogriffs?
Draco: I wasn't talking about the Hippogriff-
Blaise: *loses Draco in the crowd*
Blaise: HARRY POTTER IS GREAT-
Draco: *appears out of nowhere*
Draco: EVERYONE THINKS HE'S SO SMART, SAINT POTTAH WITH HIS SCAR AND BROOMSTICK-
Blaise: Found him-
Harry: Fuck you
Draco: Is that an insult or a promise?
Harry's to do list:
•Go to Gringotts
•Do homework
•Draco Malfoy
•Save the world again
•Buy new robes
•Draco Malfoy
Lucius: *drunk* Narcissa, *hiccup* i think our son is gay-
Narcissa: *already knew* Why do you think that, dear?
Lucius: Well, *hiccup* he talks about the Potter boy a lot-
Lucius: Oh and i don't know it means *hiccup* but i walked in on him *hiccup* being fucked by Potter-
Narcissa: *didn't know they were together yet* .....Wow-
Lucius: It's the first one, *hiccup* i-isn't it?
If Harry and Draco were roomates:
Harry: So are you top or bottom?
Draco: *blushes and sweats nervously* Well, uhm.... haha... I'm-
Harry: I'm talking about the bunk beds, quit being gay for a minute-
Dinner in Malfoy Manner:
Draco: Daddy, can you pass the salt?
Lucius: Of course-
Harry: Sure-
Lucius:
Harry:
Draco:
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Narcissa:
Dead Marauders:
Godrick Gryffindor:
Dead Lily:
Dead Dumbledore:
Obama:
Dead Snape:
Salazar Slytherin:
The Queen:
Draco: I can explain-
Draco: I can't believe it-
Draco: I, honest to Merlin, cannot believe this is happening to me-
Draco: WE KISSED; we're HUGGING-
Draco: I'm hugging Harry FUCKING Potter-
Draco: And you kissed mY FOREHEAD-
Draco: I'm dead. I'm gone. It's just too much for me to handle-
Harry: *holding in a laugh* Draco, we've been married for 7 years-
Draco: and wE'RE MARRIED-
Draco: I can't imagine Snape with a sex life.
Harry: ...... What the fuck, Draco-
Draco: *imitating Snape* Move to position 394-
Harry: *spits out Butterbeer*
Narcissa: Just checking, i wasn't the only one that heard Draco and Hary last night, right?
Lucius: No.... I.. uh.....heard them too-
Narcissa:
Lucius:
Narcissa: ... He gets the screaming from you when you're with Severus-
Lucius:
Harry: Hey guys? I'm kind of seeing someone-
Hermione: we know you're gay but who is it?
Harry: Well, you probably don't exactly love this guy-
Ron: Just rip the bandage off mate
Harry: It's Draco Malfoy-
Ron: Put it back on-
Aight, I'mma go now-
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