Chapter 52

Everything stops. The world stops spinning. Phor stops moving. I stop breathing.

What the fuck just happened?

I stumble backwards until my back hits the wall. The impact knocks the gun out of my hand.

I watch in horror as Phor's body slumps over. Max screams as her body hits the ground. It's a heart-wrenching scream that takes me back to the night Jonah died. She sounds just like my mom.

I can't believe I'm the reason she's screaming like that.

"Shit," Caesar whispers.

I snap my head in his direction. My eyes are wide with panic. He rubs his head as he stares at the scene in front of him. Then he looks at me.

He doesn't have to say a word. The saddened look in his eye confirms what I already knew.

This isn't something he can save me from. I fucked up and now this was going to fuck me up.

"What did you do?! What the fuck did you do, Candyce?!" Max cries.

She cradles Phor's limp body against her. A pool of blood slowly forms around them.

I think I'm gonna' be sick.

I put my hands on my knees to brace myself but nothing comes up. I pull in deep breaths.

Max continues screaming at me, but the ringing in my ears drowns her out.

Why did I do that? Why did I do that?

"I didn't mean to," I whisper.

I don't know what happened. I saw Phor's finger on the trigger and I just reacted. It was just a reaction. It wasn't intentional...right?

"Candyce," Caesar says.

I feel his hand on my back. I don't turn around. I can't face him right now.

"You need to leave," He says.

I furrow my eyebrows. Did I hear him right? What does he mean I need to leave? What about him?

I turn around.

"What?" I ask.

"You need to go," He says.

He takes the car keys out of his pocket and holds them out to me.

"Go wait in the car. If I'm not back in time just leave without me," He says.

I stare at him.

"What do you mean if you're not back in time? Back in time for what?" I ask.

"Somebody must've heard the shots and called the police by now. You need to be gone before they get here so if I'm not back in time, just leave without me," He says.

I was dreaming before. Now reality hits me like a cold splash of water on my face.

I just killed someone in a motel. There are four floors and dozens of rooms. There could be at least a hundred witnesses. Anybody could've seen us. Anybody could've heard us.

I freeze up.

How many times has Max screamed my name so far?

Panic sets into my bones. I snatch the keys out of Caesar's hand.

"Let's just go. What are we waiting for?" I ask.

"Go. I'm right behind you," Caesar says.

"Why can't you just come with me?" I ask.

"I can't," He says.

"Why not?" I ask.

We stare each other down. I search his eyes for an answer but it's his silence that speaks volumes.

A chill runs down my spine.

I just killed someone in a motel where there could be a hundred witnesses—one of whom is in the room with us right now.

I look over at Max. I guess she realizes it too 'cause her body goes rigid. She stares down at Phor's head in her lap.

"So you just gon' kill me now too?" She asks lowly.

My heartbeat jumps in my throat. I look to Caesar to reassure her that that's not what's about to happen, but he just looks away from me.

Max sniffles. She wipes her nose with the back of her hand. I watch as she gently lays Phor's head on the ground.

"You just a killer now, Candyce? Or you gon' let him do it for you?" She asks.

Tears well in my eyes. I'm not a killer. There's a reason my gun is on the ground. I don't plan on killing anybody else tonight. That includes letting Caesar do it for me.

I grab his hand. I look up at him with pleading eyes.

"We can't," I whisper.

He just stares down at me. I know what he feels like he has to do. I just hope I can convince him not to. After all, this is my mess. It should be up to me how I choose to clean it up.

"This is on me. I'm begging you. Let's just go," I say.

Tears fall from my eyes. If it moves Caesar, he doesn't show it.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Max stand up. At first I think she's gonna' make a run for it, but then I notice Phor's gun in her hand.

She aims it at Caesar. His gun flies up in the air as well. I step in front of his gun before he can pull the trigger.

"Move out the way, Candyce," Caesar says behind me.

I ignore him.

"You don't have to do this. Put the gun down, Max," I say.

She scoffs.

"Why? So you and this nigga can kill me first?" She asks.

I raise my hands up.

"I don't have a gun and he's not gonna' shoot as long as I'm in the way," I say.

"You really think this nigga is gonna' let me leave here alive?" Max asks.

"Yes. As long you promise not to say anything," I say.

Max chuckles.

"Then you really are stupider than I thought," She says.

She shakes her head.

"You know why we never saw eye to eye, Candyce? 'Cause I understand that this a dog eat dog world. Meanwhile, you still see puppies and rainbows and shit. I mean, you just killed my best friend and you still think you can talk your way out of it. This life is gon' eat you up and swallow you whole if the guilt of killing Phor don't do it first. But since we used to be such good friends, how 'bout I do you one last favor?" Max says.

I watch her lips curl into a mean mug.

"I won't even make you live with the guilt," She says.

My eyes widen as I watch her pull the trigger. I have enough time to move out of the way, but for some reason my feet stay put.

Suddenly, I feel a sense of calm wash over me. Something tells me to just close my eyes and welcome what's next to come. I expect it to be a bullet, but to my surprise it's a shove. I fall to the floor.

I open my eyes as two shots ring out, one behind the other. It looks like the ceiling caught the bullet that was intended for me. Dust from the ceiling falls on the floor as Max falls back. I can't help but notice the bullet-sized hole in her head as she does.

That should be me, I can't help thinking.

Max was about to kill me. I think I was going to let her. I would be dead right now if it wasn't for Caesar.

I look at him now. His face is expressionless as he bends to pick up a shell casing by his feet.

"Help me pick up these shell casings. We ain't got much time," He says.

I swallow and blink back tears. I stand to my feet.

Together we go around the room collecting shell casings. It takes less than a minute to finish. Then Caesar wipes down the door handle and anywhere else we touched. After he's done, he glances around the room.

His eyes fall on Max's purse in the middle of the room. It must've slipped off my shoulder after I shot Phor.

"Grab that," He says.

It's crazy to think revenge is what started all this. Everything I came here for is in that purse and now I don't even want it anymore. Still, I cross the room to pick it up since my fingerprints are on it.

Afterwards, Caesar cracks the door and looks down the hall. Once the coast is clear, he opens it all the way. Before we leave, he wipes down the peephole and the outside door handle. Then we run like hell down the hallway.

I run to the elevators, but Caesar pulls me in a different direction. I follow him to the staircase. I almost twist my ankle running down the steps, but fortunately I make it to the bottom in one piece. He swings the door open to the lobby.

"Keep your head down," He whispers.

I do as told. Thankfully, there's still no one at the sign-in desk as we pass.

We rush out the lobby doors and head outside. My heart drops when I hear police sirens.

Caesar grabs my hand and pulls me across the street to the car. He goes around to the driver's side while I climb into the passenger seat. He skirts off just as the blue and red lights come into view.

As we drive away, something occurs to me. I look over at him.

"Did you know this was going to happen? Is that why you didn't bring your car?" I ask.

"You never how shit like this gon' go. It's better to be safe than sorry. Now when they find the bodies they ain't gon' have nun' to tie us back to 'em," Caesar says.

I flinch at the word 'bodies'. Just a few moments ago they were people— bitches even—and now within a matter of minutes they're reduced to nothing but bodies. It could just be my guilt but it rubs me the wrong way. They deserve more respect than that.

Caesar shifts in his seat. His eyebrows knit together.

"Actually there is one thing that can tie us back to 'em," He says.

I look over at him.

"What?" I ask.

He gives me a knowing look. I wait for him to spit it out but instead he focuses on the road.

Leave it up to him to plant a seed in my mind and let it grow out of control. I wrestle with my own thoughts as I try to figure out what he meant.

I don't know shit about crime scenes but I know Caesar went out his way to make it seem like we were never there. I don't think he would've left the hotel room if he felt like there was something he missed so I doubt that's what he was talking about.

As far as I know, our only crutch is witnesses. We have no idea who saw or heard us. Then again, I think that's a problem in every murder case. I'll go crazy thinking about who may have seen us so instead I start thinking about who I know saw us.

There's that guy Max and Phor drugged, but judging by how slow he was moving, I think it's safe to say the pill took effect. I doubt he'll be able to remember anything about tonight let alone us. Even if he did, the chances of him coming forward is slim to none. No one is willingly gonna' put themselves at the scene of a double murder especially when they were also the last person to be seen with the victims alive.

He's more likely to go into hiding than he is to snitch on us. Thankfully he was the only other person that knew Caesar and I was there besides...

Then it hits me.

Chantal.

She's the only other person that knew where we were headed tonight. She's also the only person alive besides me and Caesar that knows Max and Phor robbed me...which also means she's the only one who knew I had motive to kill them.

"No," I gasp.

Caesar looks over at me. Once again, I see that saddened look in his eyes.

"We have to," He says.

Now I get why he didn't want to say it. He didn't want to hurt me. Well it's too late for that now. My heart folds in on itself.

"No. I'll talk to her," I say.

Caesar starts to say something, but I stop him. My mind is already made up.

"I'll talk to her. I already killed one person tonight. One...friend. I'm not doing it again especially not her," I say.

Caesar glances between me and the road.

"You do realize what happens if she talks, right?" He asks.

I nod my head. I look out the window.

"That's why I'll make sure she doesn't," I say.

I don't know how I'm gonna do that but I meant what I said. I'm not killing anyone else tonight, and neither is Caesar.

...

It's 1 o'clock in the morning when we park across the street from Chantal's house. The lights are still on in the house which makes Caesar check the time. A shadow moves behind the living room curtain.

"You sure this the right house?" He asks.

"Yeah," I say.

"Why they still up?" He asks.

"Their mom usually gets off work around this time so they either stay up or wake up to have dinner with her," I say.

"Oh," Caesar says.

I smile sadly.

Staring at the lit up house, I can't help but get nostalgic. I remember what it felt like being on the other side of those walls during nights like this.

For as long as I can remember, I always had a hard time falling asleep at other people's houses. Despite that, Telly and I started doing sleepovers in middle school. She noticed I couldn't sleep so she suggested we stay up until her mom came home. Ms. Trina worked the late shift at the hospital so she didn't get home 'til 1 or 2 in the morning. Even though she had been on her feet for the last 12 hours, she would stand over the stove making us pancakes or dinner while she listened to us talk about our day.

Chantal's house was my home away from home. After what happened earlier, our friendship is as good as done. But I can't believe I'm about to sever that bond with the rest of her family forever.

My vision gets blurry as I stare at the house.

"Do we have to do this tonight? Too much has already happened," I say.

"Shit gets real when the sun comes up. You'll regret not doing it tonight when people start asking questions in the morning," Caesar says.

I guess he's gotta point. This shit will be all over the 5 o'clock news. It's only a matter of time before they identify Max and Phor. Then the cops will show up at Chantal's door. I need to make sure she has amnesia before that happens.

I unbuckle my seatbelt. Caesar grabs my arm.

"You know what you gon' say to her?" He asks.

I know he's going against every instinct in his body by letting me do this alone. He thinks there's only one way of dealing with a situation like this. He made that clear when he killed Max.

If I can't convince him that I can deal with Chantal, then he'll handle it himself. I can't afford for him to take matters into his own hands so I wave my gun for him to see.

"If push comes to shove, I can always threaten her with this," I say.

I guess that convinces him 'cause he lets my arm go. I tuck my clutch under my arm and open the car door.

My heels click on the pavement as I make my way across the street. It isn't until I'm standing outside of their door that I realize I probably look a mess. I figure my mascara is running from crying at the motel earlier so I take out my mirror to check the damage.

Sure enough there are tear streaks running down my face. There's nothing I can do about it now, so I put the mirror up and knock on the door.

After a minute Chantal's little sister, Lori, answers the door. It's only been a couple of months since I last saw her, but I swear she's almost as tall as me. We would probably be the same height if I didn't have these heels on.

"Hey, Candy," She says.

Since I still tower over her in my heels, I can see Chantal laying on Ms. Trina's lap behind her. I can hear Telly crying from over here.

"What's going on?" I ask.

Lori rolls her eyes.

"I don't know. Mama just got home and asked us about our day and Telly just started crying. She won't tell us what happened but I think Toby broke up with her," She says.

"Who's at the door, child?" Ms. Trina yells.

Lori opens the door wider so they can see me.

"It's Candyce," She says.

Chantal sits up on the couch. Her eyes are red and puffy as she stares at me.

"What do you want?" She asks.

Her mom looks between the two of us. She's never known Chantal and I to be on bad terms, which is probably why her sister thinks her boyfriend put those tears on her face when I know I'm the reason.

No one has to tell me that I hurt Chantal. I knew it when I was doing it, but I did it anyway. At the time revenge was more important to me than our friendship. If I could take it all back I would.

All I want to do is apologize to her, but I can't. I didn't come here to right my wrong. I came here to make a bad situation worse.

"Can I talk to you?" I ask Chantal.

She just stares at me. Her mom finally gets the message and stands up from the couch.

"I think you should leave, Candyce. Telly will call you when she's ready," She says.

"No, Ma. It's okay," Chantal says.

She stands up and fixes her white sweatshirt. It's oversized just the way she likes it. She has on olive green shorts that matches her Jeep outside.

"You sure?" Ms. Trina asks, eyeing me.

"Yeah. It's just Candyce. I'll be right back," Telly says.

I look at the ground as she walks over. I'm too ashamed to look her in the face.

Though I have no choice but to look at her when she steps out onto the porch. She closes the door behind her. She pulls the long sweatshirt sleeves over her hands and crosses her arms over her chest. She turns her head to the side.

"What you doing here, Candyce?" She asks.

"I needed to talk to you," I say.

Chantal wipes her nose with her sleeve. She sniffles.

"Didn't you say everything you needed to say earlier?" She asks.

"No, actually there's one more thing," I say.

Chantal scoffs.

"It's important," I say.

She looks at me.

"What?" She asks.

I take a deep breath.

"You can't tell anybody what happened today," I say.

"Oh, you mean how you rolled up on me with your brother's friend and threatened to kill me? I was in the middle of doing a Twitter thread about it. I'm so glad you stopped me," Chantal says, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious, Chantal. You need to forget that conversation ever happened," I say.

"Or what, Candyce? You gon' kill me?" She asks.

"If I have to," I say.

Chantal laughs.

"You know what. I don't have time for this. Goodnight Candyce," She says.

She starts to open the door to go back inside. I know once she closes that door she's not gonna' come back out so I come up with something quick.

"If you think I'm playing just ask Max and Phor," I say.

Chantal pauses with her hand on the doorknob. She slowly turns around.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asks.

"The 5 o'clock news comes on in 4 hours. Stay up long enough and you'll find out," I say.

Chantal furrows her eyebrows.

"What are you saying, Candyce?" She asks.

"I'm saying if you don't want to end up like them, you'll do what I say and forget that conversation ever happened today. Especially since you told me where to find them which makes you an accomplice to murder," I say.

Chantal clamps her hand over her mouth. She backs up, but she's already by the door so her back just rams into it.

"Oh my god. You didn't," She says.

I don't say anything. Her eyes get wide. Tears fill them. Slowly, she drops the hand from her mouth.

"Candyce... what did you do? What did he make you do?" She asks.

I scoff.

After everything, I can't believe she's still trying to protect this image of me in her mind. I need her to get over that right now. The last thing I need is her talking to the cops acting like she's saving me from Caesar's influence. Saying shit like that will get her killed.

"Do you see him standing here right now? He didn't make me do shit. This was all me," I say.

Tears fall from Chantal's eyes.

"Why, Candyce?" She whispers.

"They robbed me, Chantal! You were there. You saw what they did to me. To us," I say.