Chapter 51

I'm fresh off the plane from New York. Them airplane seats ain't no joke. They uncomfortable even in first class.

I rub the kinks out my neck as I sit my duffle bag down on my living room floor.

I would say it feels good to be home, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. If anything, it feel like a dark cloud followed me home from New York.

To say Reese's family took it hard would be an understatement. I swear people could hear them crying from the bodega down the street. I ain't never felt so guilty in my whole life. It felt like I killed Reese myself.

I mean, it's not far from the truth. The way I see it, Reese wouldn't even be dead if it wasn't for me.

Ralo may have pulled the trigger, and Simon set it up, but I was the one who brought him to New Orleans. I'm the one who kept him here. It was my fault their brother was never coming home.

If I could turn back the hands of time I would. All I could do instead was let his family know that as long as I'm alive they won't need or want for nothing--as if money can fill that void.

I tried to make myself feel better by handling all the funeral arrangements. I even paid to have his body sent over. It was only right. Reese was a New York nigga at heart. I couldn't imagine him resting in peace anywhere else.

I blew a bag on his funeral but it was worth it to send him Home the right way. All his family had to do was show up which was hard enough. I didn't want them worrying about anything else.

In a lot of ways Reese's funeral actually reminded me of Santana's. Just like Ace, Reese's family felt like an extension of my own. I didn't know them as long as I knew Ace's family, but they welcomed me with open arms just like his.

From my experience, it only takes one real death in the family to remind me that I ain't really apart of it. I couldn't have felt more like an outsider standing next to Reese's family as they lowered his body into the ground. Up until that point I felt like I lost a brother. I'ma always think of Reese that way, but I think a piece of his sisters got buried with him that day. I don't think it's fair of me to say the same.

I didn't feel the need to stick around after the funeral. All there was left to do was grieve and they ain't need me for that. Besides, my misery don't like company.

I gave his sisters some money to hold them over and told 'em to call me if they need anything else. Then I flew home after being in New York for two weeks.

Reese's funeral kinda got me thinkin' though. If I died today or tomorrow, who would be there for me? I feel like I lost the only real potnas I ever had and along with them the only real families I ever knew. It's not like Ace or Reese gon' be up there giving my eulogy so who does that leave?

Candyce? She can't even figure out what the fuck she want from me so I don't know what she'd get up there and say. Keyana? I feel like she never really knew me. She fell in love with my potential. She only knew who she thought I could be.

Shit, more than likely I'll be just like I am now—alone.

I shake my head. I don't even know why I'm thinkin' 'bout this shit. I think it's this house. It's too quiet. It's giving me too much time to think.

I grab my phone to distract myself. I take it off airplane mode. The first thing I see is another text message from Candyce. I let out a deep breath. She been blowing my shit up the last couple days.

Her messages went from asking if I landed in New York safely to telling me to call her right away. I never texted her back so I figure she's just worried 'bout me. I send her a text letting her know I'm back home but I leave it at that.

I'm still not fucking with her, so I hope she don't take this as a sign that I'm ready to talk. I got too much on my mind to be playing with Candyce's indecisive ass.

It doesn't take me long to get dressed after reading Caesar's text. I race down the stairs—not because I'm excited to see him—but because I could really use his help.

It's been a few days since Max and Phor robbed me. My head hasn't stopped spinning since. I've been plotting on ways to get back at them, but I can't do shit without a gun and The Loft is practically off-limits since Ace got back. The same niggas I've been dapping off for months would just as quick snitch on me to Ace now that he's back.

I even thought about going to Ace for help, but we still ain't talking. Besides, it's not like he wanted me selling drugs anyway. He might be glad that Max took the drugs off my hands. He might not even take it serious since it's girls that robbed me. The only person that ever took me serious when it came to the streets was Caesar. And while we may not be on the best of terms, I trust that he'll come through for me.

Bacon fills my nostrils as I run down the stairs. I can hear Mama moving pots around in the kitchen. I hate to skip out on breakfast especially 'cause I know she finna' throw down. But I know it won't be long before she's back in the kitchen. She hasn't stopped cooking since Ace came home. I can't tell if she's just happy or if she's tryna do everything she can to make him stay.

I glance at him and Paryis on the couch watching the morning news. Seeing them together, I realize I haven't seen Yuri around lately. I'm guessing she saw Ace's life for the trainwreck that it is and left, or she decided not to stay in our house. Either way I'm happy I don't have to share my space with a stranger. Ace being here is bad enough.

I yell my goodbyes to Mama and Paryis as I race out the door. I'm outside before anybody can ask where I'm going.

On the drive to Caesar's house, I can't help but think about the robbery. I swear it's all I can think about. I just can't wrap my head around the fact that it actually happened. I knew Max had it out for me, but I never expected her to go as far as putting a gun in my face. We used to jump bitches in the strip club together, and there she was stomping me out like I was any bitch off the street. All because she needed money and felt like I owed it to her. It's crazy what money will make a bitch do.

Despite her role in the robbery though, I don't consider Max the Judas in this story. There's only one betrayl I never saw coming and that was Chantal. Even though she said she didn't know what Max and Phor planned to do, she still gave them the opportunity to do it. She lied to me and used my love for her to fuck me over in the end. To me, that's way worse than what Max and Phor did.

Besides, I was only friends with them for four years. Telly and I grew up together. We were almost a decade strong. She was there for me through everything. I just can't believe she threw it all away for two bitches who would never do the same for her.

Just thinking about it makes my eyes water. I'm so torn. Half of me is so pissed off I could kill them bitches, but the other half of me is consumed with grief. Losing Telly in this way feels the same as her dying. No matter what she's out of my life forever. I hate that it has to be this way but she made her bed. I don't care if it was a mistake. It was a mistake that could've costed me life. There's just no coming back from that.

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. Crying won't get me anywhere. I need to tap into my anger if I'm ever gonna' do them bitches like they did me.

I put on NBA Youngboy to put myself in the right headspace. It works like a charm. Two songs in and I start speeding down the highway.

After awhile I have to turn the music off in order to make it to Caesar's house in one piece.

By the time I get there I'm a little less angry and more nervous to see him. After all, the last time we talked he asked for his house key back. I don't know how he's gonna' feel about me showing up here unannounced.

I park in his driveway and get out the car. I walk up to the door and take a deep breath before I knock.

After a minute goes by he opens the door. My heart skips a beat. For a second I forget all about Max and why I came here. It feels so good to see his face again.

I smile at him. He doesn't smile back.

"What you doing here?" He asks.

I pull my head back. I didn't expect him to be happy to see me considering how we left things, but damn. I thought I would at least get invited in, especially since he texted me first.

"You texted me," I say.

"I ain't tell you to come over," Caesar says.

I scoff.

I can't lie that definitely hurt my feelings, but I brush it off. I don't need a warm welcome. I just need his help.

"Well I'm here now and I need your help so you gon' let me in or what?" I ask.

Caesar looks me up and down. I sigh and take my hood off. I push my hair out of my face to show him the bruise and cut by my hairline where Max gun-butted me.

His whole demeanor changes. His eyebrows pull together as he crosses his arms.

"What the fuck happened?" He asks.

"I got robbed. Now you gon' let me in or you wanna' discuss this right here?" I ask.

He moves out of the doorway. I roll my eyes and brush past him. He slams the door behind me.

I walk into the living room with him hot on my trails.

"What the fuck you mean you got robbed? Who robbed you?" He asks.

I turn around to face him.

"Remember those girls I was working with?"

He nods, "Simple bitch one and two? Yeah, what about 'em?"

I roll my eyes.

"Max and Phor. They did this," I say.

I take a seat on the couch. Caesar walks over.

"I knew that redhead wasn't to be trusted," He says.

I look up at him.

"That's all you got to say?" I ask.

"My fault. It's just hard to react to something I knew was coming," He says.

"Again with the 'I told you so'. You really think I feel like hearing that right now?" I ask.

Caesar throws his hands up. He takes a seat on the couch handle across from me. He crosses his arms.

"My bad. Tell me what happened," He says.

"I was coming from the club—"

"What club?" He asks.

"My club. I was cleaning up and emptying out the safe. I still had some leftover pills there I needed to get rid of. I was about to take them to The Loft but I got distracted," I say.

"Distracted by what?"

"My best friend. She called me and told me to come over. She said something happened with her boyfriend and she needed me but it was a set up. Max and Phor was waiting for me when I got there," I say.

"I thought you only had one best friend," Caesar says.

"I do or I did," I say.

Caesar stares at me.

"I know you ain't talkin' 'bout Chantal," He says.

I nod my head.

Caesar has been around a long time. Long enough to see a lot of my friendships come and go. Chantal was the only one who stuck around. By the time Max and Phor came into the picture, he was long gone.

He raises his eyebrows as he leans back.

"Damnnn. I ain't know goody two shoes got down like that," He says.

"She ain't been goody two shoes in a long time," I say, rolling my eyes.

"I guess so since she still hanging with you," He says.

Little does he know I did my best to keep Chantal away from all my hoe-stivities. I respected the route she chose to take when all her friends were strippers and in the club every weekend. I always thought she was the smartest out of all of us. Turns out she was dumber than I thought.

"So what happened between y'all? Why she set you up?" Caesar asks.

"According to her, she didn't. She thought Max and Phor just wanted to talk," I say.

Caesar shakes his head.

"I can believe that. She was always too green for her own good," He says.

"True, but that don't excuse what she did," I say.

"I ain't saying it do. I'm just saying if she anything like I remember, her heart was prolly in the right place," He says.

I roll my eyes.

"What do you remember about her?"

Caesar laughs to himself while he strokes his beard.

"Shit, I remember she used to like Ace. She was forward as hell too. She used to ask when me, you, her and Ace was gonna' go on a double date," He says.

My mouth drops open.

"Oh my god, I forgot all about that! She used to ask right in front of Ace too," I say.

"Me and Ace almost fell into one over that shit. He kept asking me why she kept saying that. That was the first time he asked if something was goin' on between us," He says.

"Yeah, I remember. He interrogated the shit out of me too," I say.

"And that was before we even had something goin' on," Caesar says.

"I know right. We were just friends. I guess she could tell I liked you," I say.

Caesar nods. Our little trip down memory lane quickly fades into reality. We both get quiet.

Caesar's the first to break the silence.

"It's crazy how shit play out, huh?" He says.

"Yeah," I nod my head.

"I guess that double date ain't never happening now. You ain't fuckin' with Chantal. Ace ain't fuckin' with me... We ain't fuckin' with each other," He says.

I look over at him.

"That's not true," I say.

He looks up at me.

"We ain't fucking with each other right now, but we'll shake back. We always do. Besides it ain't like we got nobody else," I chuckle.

Caesar gives me a half-smile.

"I guess you right," He says.

"And for the record, you ain't fucking with me. I don't have a problem with you," I say.

"Is that right?" He asks.

"Yup."

"So you ain't gotta problem with me taking my key back?" He asks.

"Not if you don't have a problem with me showing up here whenever I want," I say.

Caesar smirks at me. I smile and roll my eyes.

"Can we get back to the situation at hand?" I ask.

"Yeah since you so desperate to change the subject," He says.

He walks over to the couch I'm sitting on. He takes a seat on the cushion next to me.

"What you wanna' do?" He asks.

I run my hands through my hair. It stings when I touch the cut by my hairline. I wince and drop my hands.

"I don't know, but we need to do something soon. Bitches been walking around like nothing happened since last week," I say.

Caesar leans back into the couch. He stretches his arm across the top of the sofa.

"I'm surprised you ain't try to handle it on yo' own. I know how much you love being reckless," He says.

"I would have but they took my gun and I knew Ace wouldn't give me another one," I say.

"So that's why you came to me," He says.

"That, and let's be honest. Who else was I gonna' go to?" I ask.

We lock eyes. I don't know if it's the chemistry or the sexual tension, but I feel drawn to him. Judging by the look in his eyes, I can tell he feels the same way too.

He clears his throat and stands up.

"Wait right here," He says.

I nod my head and he walks off. Five minutes later he walks back into the room with a gun and a full clip in his hand. I grin like a little kid getting a toy on Christmas.

Caesar hands it to me.

"You better not lose this one. I don't have access to guns like I used to when I was fucking with Ace," He says, sitting down.

"I don't even think Ace has guns like that. Didn't Simon clear him out?" I ask.

Caesar shifts uncomfortably next to me. I look at him. His jaw is clenched and he's looking at the floor.

I catch my mistake.

"Sorry. I shouldn't have brought him up," I say.

"It's cool," He says.

But I can tell by the change in his demeanor that it's not.

An awkward silence falls over us. I sit the gun down on the coffee table and look around. That's when I notice his duffle bag on the floor still zipped up.

I glance at Caesar. He's dressed in a grey Nike sweatsuit with his jacket unzipped showing off his white tee underneath. He always dresses simple like this so I didn't think anything of it at first. After seeing his airport bag, I put two and two together.

"Did you just get back?" I ask.

"Mhm," Caesar says.

I curse myself in my mind. Here I am unloading all my problems onto him without even thinking about where his head might be. He just broke the news to Reese's family then I come here and name-drop Simon like a dumbass. I probably just brought all that pain to the surface.

I play with my fingers.

"How did Reese's family take it?" I ask.

Caesar stares at the floor.

"How you think they took it?" He asks.

The attitude he had at the door is now back in full swing and it's all my fault.

"Did they have a funeral for him?" I ask.

"Yeah and before you ask it was sad. Now drop it. I don't wanna' talk about this shit no more," He says.

I nod my head.

Ten minutes go by before Caesar speaks up again.

"You never answered my question," He says.

I furrow my eyebrows.

"What question?"

"What you wanna' do about the robbery?" He asks.

I sigh.

"Well for starters I want my shit back. That includes the pills or the money they got from selling the pills and my gun. Then I want my lick back," I say.

"Well what you know about them that we can use?" He asks.

I pucker my lips up while I think.

"I know they like to hang out in clubs. They used to drug niggas they met there then take them to a hotel and rob them," I say.

Caesar raises an eyebrow.

"You better not have been doing that shit," He says.

"I wasn't. That's actually the reason we stopped being friends," I say.

Caesar rubs his beard.

"So they like to rob niggas. We might be able to work with that," He says.

"I don't know if they still do it. That was months ago," I say.

"Sound like you need to find out," He says.

"Let's say they are still doing it. Where do we go from there? 'Cause Max has seen you around my club. She knows we know each other. It's not like we can use you as bait," I say.

"Slow yo' roll, Red. I ain't say shit about being bait. All we need is the drop on them. We find out where they gon' be tonight and pull up. We can follow them to the hotel after they leave," He says.

I think it over.

"That could work," I say.

"So you know what club they gon' be at tonight?" He asks.

"No, but I think I know someone who might," I say.

...