Chapter 19

Reese's hustle was one of the first things I found myself attracted to once we put our sexual chemistry aside. But as of lately, his hustle has been like a stain on our relationship. A stain that Reese is too busy to notice but one that I can't soak out on my own. I've been idly waiting around for the problem to fix itself but the more time that passes is more time Reese spends at the trap.

While I've been sulking around the house these last few months, Reese has been singlehandedly getting the Algiers trap off the ground. When he wasn't doing that, he was boarding flights to meet his connect in New York for their monthly drop offs. Between plugging Caesar and all his other clients nationwide, he's been bringing in more money than his connect can count. I'm proud of him 'cause I know all he's ever wanted was the respect he deserved as a hustla. He'd be the first to say he doesn't owe Caesar for putting him on, but I think he's been trying to prove that he deserved that spot for a long time. It's no wonder he's been working himself into overtime.

The only downside to him getting the credit he deserves is that it means spending less time with him. With all the flights, late hours and constant phone calls, we barely spend time together. Now that he's finally caught a break from work, I'm just starting to stress about my own.

The bags Caesar entrusted me with are safe at The Loft. After the Fed raid with Ace, I'm not inclined to keep anything illegal at home. I'm still not sure if doing this would be able to make a dent on my bills but I have to try. I'm not losing all Ace worked so hard to maintain without putting up a fight.

Reese's head shifts under the comforter as he makes his way to me. When he reaches me, he has my juices covering his goatee and a stale look on his face. I start to laugh as I use the blanket to wipe his face clean.

"Was I doing something wrong?" Reese asks.

"No. I'm just thinking," I say.

He fixes himself between my legs. He holds his body weight up by his elbows while he waits for me to talk. The only problem is, I can't tell him exactly what's on my mind without ruining the deal I made with Caese. I could have easily asked Reese for help but if Ace leaving has taught me anything, it's never to depend on anybody but myself. As soon as I found time to divvy the drugs up, I'll be dropping them off to Phora and Maxine. But that's a lot harder to do when Reese has his first time off in a while, and he's intent on using it to wine and dine me.

"You really gon' make me ask?" Reese says.

I smile down at him. There was no use in lying to him. There was no way I was coming clean about seeing Caesar yet again, or about the deal I made with him. I really didn't want to ruin the mood between us but my brain was doing it for me anyway. So, I tell him about something else that's been bugging me.

"Do you remember the girls I was with that night I met you?" I ask.

His forehead instantly wrinkles up at having to think back that far. I don't blame him. If it wasn't for Angel encompassing my every thought that night, I wouldn't remember it either. I was so panicked about getting caught or followed back home, that I almost mistook Reese for one of his hitmen.

"Sorta. I remember you being in a section with a group of girls. You was dancing all sexy on some redhead shorty," He says.

He licks his lips while he stares up at me. I feel his dick growing hard against my leg. I smile and do my best to ignore it.

"So that girl I was dancing on name is Maxine, but we all call her Max."

"Who is 'we'?" Reese asks.

"There's always been a group of us. It's Chantal, who I've known since middle school. Phora, who we call Phor. And Max, the girl I'm trying to tell you about," I say.

"The redhead," Reese says.

I mush his forehead back. He was focusing a little too hard on that memory of me and Max.

"Alright, I'm just fucking with you. So like that's your crew?"

I nod my head.

"I haven't heard you speak on 'nem til just now. Y'all don't talk nomore?"

"No...I mean, we do but not how we used to. I kinda shut everybody out when I lost Jonah so that meant them to. I only started talking to them a few days ago and everything feels different."

I can tell Reese has already lost hope on us reviving this sex session. So, me crying about my friends ain't really keeping his interest.

He starts to move his body off mines.

"Candyce, people grow apart. Pain changes you. If shit don't feel the same, it's probably just that," He says.

I watch him move to the other side of the bed. The first thing he does is check his phone. I swear, money was the only constant thing on his brain.

"Nah, it feels like more than that."

Reese doesn't answer as his thumbs move across his phone. I'm not sure what he's doing but judging by the way it's grasping his attention, it's safe to assume it's money.

My head falls back onto the satin pillows of his bed. His room is practically empty except for the huge bedpost we're laying in. It's in the middle of the master bedroom and still doesn't take up all the space. He has room for a Chester draw and a TV but he has no intention on staying in New Orleans that long. He practically lives out of his suitcase with all the traveling.

His house doesn't have that homely feel to it. I'm sure that's just the way he likes it though. He told me he had no intention of staying here this long so he decided to camp out in the same house he brought me, Ace & Caesar to when Ace killed Gecko. It was cheaper than hotels since the house was paid for.

Besides the master bedroom, there were two other bedrooms. The room that formerly held the coke, is now empty. Of course, he doesn't hold product in the same place where he laid his head. His house was bare except for us. Personally, I hate being here. It serves as a reminder that my boyfriend will always put me second to the hustle and that he'll eventually leave altogether. We never talked about where we would stand once he left for New York. I avoid it and he's too busy to have the conversation.

I stare into the ceiling thinking about Max, Phor and Chantal. Before I was dragged into this lifestyle, we were all thick as thieves. Chantal was and has always been the closest thing I had to a best friend. Something about us felt solid. If all else goes to shit, I know I can count on her to have my back.

I used to feel the same way about Max. I counted on her in ways I couldn't with Chantal. Max was my partner in crime. There were plenty times we would stomp a bitch out in the stripclub together. Whether it was a hoe playing with my money or a bitch stealing her makeup. Either way, we were always on go for one another. We were both hustlers who liked making money more than we liked niggas. We didn't share deep thoughts or anything like that. When you cut from the same cloth, there's no need to discuss what's already understood.

Honestly, Max was like the glue that held me and Phora's relationship intact. Me and Phor ain't have much in common. We became friends 'cause her and Max were a package deal like Chantal and I were. In high school, she could never hold a conversation without proving how slow she was but got away with it 'cause she was pretty. Also, it didn't hurt that she hung with us. Max is like her best friend and anybody who knows Max, knows how hard she goes for her friends. Phora and I got closer when we finally started to club together. I could get along with anybody when I was drunk.

It's so weird to reminisce on us all hanging together. The picture is fresh in my mind but my face blurs in it. I want so badly to still be that friend they knew but that part of me is lost. I can't think about anything other than making ends meet. In my spare time, I'm doing my hardest to remember Jonah's smile or laugh so that it doesn't get away from me with all these distractions. Max, Phor and even Chantal, still live to party. Max still works at the stripclub that I can't step foot into 'cause Angel knows where that is. I haven't wanted to go to a club in forever. My priorities have changed but my friends didn't. As a result, there's not much left for us to relate to.

I didn't realize all I would have to face by bringing them back into my life. I know my absence can't be forgiven all at once but what better way to make amends than to offer them a chance to make money? I thought Max, out of everybody, would be able to understand. After all, I thought we were cut from the same cloth. I'm not so sure anymore.

I look over at Reese who's now sitting on the edge of the bed. I've never felt more distant from someone. That lonely feeling doesn't go away 'cause he's finally found time for me. That feeling stays with me no matter who I'm around. Still, these people are all I have.

I turn on my side to see Reese pulling his underwear up his legs. When he starts to pull on his jeans, I turn away. Even now, it's too painful to face the truth: I've outgrown all those I keep close to me. But without them, where does that leave me?