Chapter 15

Being on the run only made me realize two things: shit ain't always as good as we make it out to be & two, that we gotta charge it to the game and keep thuggin'.

I ain't had a good night's sleep since the night before everything went down. I'm up all hours of the night thinking bout how I let Jonah down, how I let my Pops down and I how I let the fam down. When my pops died I swore on his grave I was gonna always protect what was mine. Up until 3 months ago that shit actually felt possible. Then again, let me stop frontin'. Even before the Feds ran in our shit like we was behind on rent, shit was still fucked. Candy was running round the city like a loose goose and Simon couldn't be left alone for two seconds without pocketing some shit.

Not to mention, it ain't lost on me the way Mama's mood changes when I walk in the room. I think half of her sadness got a lot to do with worrying about me. I know she think I'm running wild but I'm not no crash dummy. Santana taught me better than that.

On the real, I feel like the other half of her sadness is really just disappointment that I grew up to be just like my dad. It hurt my head thinking about where her head at now that both him and Jonah gone. She prolly wondering which one of her children the game gonna claim next. I'm wondering the same thing.

"Are you ever gonna go back to sleep?"

I turn my eyes away from the ceiling to look at Yuri. It's too dark to see her face but I can make out the outline of her sleeping shorts, tanktop and bonnet. I'm glad I can't see her face but I can tell how sleepy she is from her voice alone.

"My bad, Ri. I wasn't tryna wake you up or nun'. I just can't stop planning my next move you know?"

I rest my arm across my eyes as she walk over to me. Her socks ain't making much noise on the hardwood floors of her living room, but the subtle creaks lets me know she standing bout a feet away from me.

"Well that's good to hear. I can't have you sleeping on my couch forever," Yuri whispers.

I force a smile her way to lighten the mood. She's sitting cross-legged next to the leather sofa that crunches with every toss and turn I make. Considering she sleep with her door open, I ain't surprised it woke her up.

"Three months ain't even that bad," I say.

"You right. I have put up with yo ass for...how many years now?"

Turning on my side, I use my left arm as balance while I lean down to kiss her. Her eyes get bigger when I pull away from her. I go back down to kiss her again and again and again until she finally catch on.

"What are you doing, Ace?" She mumbles against my lips.

"Kissing you for every year you been 'putting up with my ass'."

"That's sweet and all but deflection only works on someone who doesn't care to ask questions," She says.

I sigh mentally. After the thirteenth and final kiss, I'm too turned on to keep up the conversation she tryna have. I try to go for her neck but she pull her head away. I hang my head not sure if I'm frustrated that she stopped me or if I saw it coming.

Even though I been knowing Yuri thirteen years, she never let me get passed first base. Honestly, she ain't even let me kiss her until like two months ago. With me going into hiding, losing Jonah ain't really hit me until a month after I got here. Feeling responsible for bringing the motherfucker who killed my little brother into our home just ate me up inside. One night, I couldn't take dealing with all that on my own. Yuri heard me in the next room and I guess she ain't know what to do. She tried holding me for a while but that ain't stop the tears none so she turned my face towards her and kissed me. I haven't been able to stop kissing her since.

"Are you sure you don't wanna talk about it?" Yuri says.

Her hand goes to the side of my face, but I can't look her in the eyes.

"Yeah, man. It ain't nun you don't already know," I lie.

Truth is, Yuri don't know that the only reason I hit her up asking to come "visit" her in Rosewood, California was because the Feds was after me. She agreed through the Face-time call without asking too many questions. But soon as a nigga touched down, she wouldn't stop interrogating me. I almost wished I woulda just turned myself in. If I was gonna get interrogated by anybody, I'd rather it be the motherfuckers who at least know half the shit I did so I ain't have to repeat it.

It ain't take me long to cherry-pick which parts of the truth I was willing to let her in on. I told her about Jonah dying, but I told her it was a stray bullet in a rough neighborhood. That part of the story developed the night she kissed me. If she was willing to take a step forward in our friendship to help me feel better, then the least I could do was tell her why I was crying.

Besides that lie, I told her about the other shit that was stressing me out. I told her about the Galvez raid and how I still ain't been able to figure out who was the cause of it. I didn't mention cutting Gecko's tongue out his mouth trying to get an answer. I told her that there was somebody in my circle I couldn't trust so I wanted to lay low until I figured out who.

Although I didn't tell her, I'm sure she has an idea of what I'll do when I find out.

I kiss the palm of Yuri's hand before sitting it back in her lap. Ri's been knowing me long enough to tell when I'm lying but lucky for me, she ain't learn how to read minds yet.

"Okay, Ace," but her clipped tone let's me know shit is far from okay, "I'm gonna go get some sleep. The first day of class starts tomorrow and I don't wanna be late."

I let her go anyway, figuring I'd just handle her attitude in the AM. I let out an audible sigh when I hear her close the door between us. Being on the outs with Yuri ain't nothing new. I kept her as close as I could without scaring her off but she couldn't understand that. She wanted shit her way or no way, hence why I got my first kiss from her thirteen years into our friendship.

The only reason I told her anything at all was cause I knew she could handle it. Her dad used to run the streets under Santana until he got locked up. Their business relations is the only reason I met Yuri at all. After Hurricane Katrina washed away all we knew in New Orleans, my Pops moved us to LA. He never stayed with us for more than a few weeks at a time cause all his business was here, in Rosewood. From '05 to 2010, he hustled his way up to being a disciple under the infamous Geedy. He and my pops had the same mindset when it came to business: they were businessmen first, but neither was scared of getting their hands dirty.

My Pops had something going with Deeno before the storm, but the only way to move up was to impress him. Well, a lot of niggas was moving funny trying to get Deeno's attention. My pops ain't like contending with dumb, younger niggas trying to earn a seat at the table. He felt like under different circumstances, he could be Deeno's number two but too many niggas clouded the vision. So it wasn't nothing for him to move us across country and start his business somewhere else.

In a lot of ways, Rosewood was like the hustling Mecca if you knew what you was doing. Unlike New Orleans, Rosewood wasn't controlled by one man. Geedy had control 'cause he was the supplier but he never played his hand unless he had to. The disciples under him distributed product to different regions. My Pops always said it was easier to start his own thing out here. He didn't have to answer to Geedy, the way he did Deeno. This gave him a chance to prove himself. He was rewarded with the title of disciple and with that came the head seat at his own table.

Yuri's dad was just one of the many my dad supplied to. The chances of us meeting really only depended on the day my pops took me to Rosewood with him. If it was a day later, I'd probably never known Yuri. 'Cause it was that specific day he brought me along to make his drops, I got to meet her. We clicked when we were seven and kept in touch since. I honestly don't know where I'd be if it wasn't for that girl.

Yuri gave me something solid to hold onto when the streets, the game & even my men was forever changing. My shawty gave me peace of mind. So, as much as she wanna know everything, I can't tell her. Call it whatever you want but I ain't ready to give her up yet.

I reach for the blunt roach in the ashtray on the table beside me. I rustle through the pockets of my basketball shorts looking for a lighter.

When I find it, I spark it up and wait for the calmness to settle over me with the high. Besides Yuri, weed is the only promising thing about California.