Chapter 11

The first thing I hear when I open my eyes, is heavy footsteps outside of my door. And I'm not talking a few motherfuckers. It's like an entire army has ran in our house. 

I only have time to sit up on my bed when two men carrying black rifles, wearing all black, bust open the door to my room. My heart stops beating. Angel found us. 

At least that's what I think until I hear, "Get on the floor! Put your hands where we can see them!"

Cops? What the fuck...

"Now!" 

The strain in their voices force me to the floor. I keep my hands up as I slide from my bed onto the floor. My hands are above my head while my face is smashed into the carpet near my bed. 

"Tie her up," One of them instructs the other. 

Once they turn off the flashlight that was nearly blinding me, I realize that I was wrong yet again. It's not cops. It's the fucking SWAT Team. Meaning they were joined by the Feds. 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

One of the men come behind me with a ziptie. I hear it sliding onto my wrist as they tighten it. Next, I'm forced on my feet in only my extra-large sleeping shirt, with no pants on. Motherfuckers don't even give me time to slide something over my legs. They march me straight into the hallway. 

In the hallway, Paryis sees us coming out of my room. It must look like another one of her nightmares with two men in all black escorting me out with my bed-ridden hair. 

Immediately, she starts screaming. The sound causes Mama to flicker on the light downstairs and make her way up the stairs. When she sees me in handcuffs, and Simon thrashing around as they escort him out of his room, her face pales. 

"What the fuck is this?!" She yells. 

She finishes climbing the rest of the steps and pulls Paryis into her waist. She turns her away from us. 

"Get the fuck off me!" Simon screams down the hall. 

"Si, stop resisting. It's aight. We all here!" I yell back at him. 

I can't have him losing his temper on these federal agents. I wasn't trying to lose my brother to a trigger happy agent who wanted to use an unsuspecting black boy to up his body count. Especially not before we figure out what the fuck is going on. 

My eyes stay locked down the hall where Ace's room is. The door is wide open so I know they've been in it. I just hope they don't emerge with Ace in handcuffs. If the feds were knocking at this door it was no fucking coincidence. They were here for Ace. And maybe me too?

Finally, after what felt like ages waiting for them to leave Ace's room, three SWAT members exit empty-handed. I let out a deep breathe when they yell, "He's not here" to a woman walking up the stairs. 

She looks like she's Hispanic, but I can't tell which country her ancestors belong to. More lights flicker on around us. First the hallway light, then the entire house is lit up like a chirstmas tree, with these black SWAT team acting as the ornaments. I'm sure they were hoping to place Ace on top like a fucking silver star. I'm just glad he's not here. Then again, I have no idea what time it is. Maybe he's on his way home. 

"I'ma need y'all to get the hell up out my house!" Mama yells. 

"I'm afraid we can't do that ma'am. We have clearance to search the premises looking for an 'Ace Dominick Ortiz'," The Hispanic woman says.

I watch as she hands Mama a blue and white letter. Mama unfolds it and barely looks at it a second before she throws it to the floor. 

"What the fuck are you looking for my son for?" 

The woman stares me straight in the eye, "For the murder of Troy Jackson, otherwise known as Gecko to his criminal affiliates."

Fuck.

I tell my face not to move as she stares me down. Does she know that I was there? How could she have known though? The only people there were Ace, Caesar, Reese, Cam, Gecko and me. I know for a fact that Gecko ain't tell them shit, so who else could have? 

"You wouldn't happen to know anything about that?" She asks me.

I swallow. She takes a step closer to me and Mama steps in her way. 

"Back the fuck away from my daughter," Mama says through gritted teeth. 

The woman smirks before glancing at all of us. 

"Take them both into custody," She says. 

The men grab ahold of both of my arms again and I look over at Mama. 

"Mama, don't let them take us! Mama!" I scream. 

"Let me go! Get the fuck off me!" Simon screams. His voice is deep and hoarse from screaming so much. 

They walk me down the stairs but they have to carry Simon since he's still fighting them. Mama and Paryis follow us down the stairs. 

"You not taking my children anywhere!" Mama says when we reach the living room. 

She stands in front of us with her pink robe open, with her arms spread out in front both me and Simon. I can't see her face but I can imagine how headstrong she looks protecting us. 

"Please," She says when the Hispanic chick steps forward. 

"I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do unless you can tell me the whereabouts of your son, Ace."

"I ain't telling you shit." 

"Well okay then. Round them up," The woman says. 

She's on her way out the door. The men holding us start to move us forward but Mama grabs ahold of them. They try to push her off, but she doesn't let up. Simon's screaming louder than ever, seeing them manhandle Mama. 

"Touch her again! I fucking dare you!" Simon screams. 

One of the SWAT agents places their hand over his mouth but then Paryis starts to cry again, filling the chaos once again. 

I distantly hear a door creak open as I'm fighting not to be pulled outside. I don't even care about getting arrested, I just want them to leave my Mama alone. She had nothing to do with this shit. They already said Ace wasn't here and that court order only had Ace's name on it from what I could tell, so why the fuck were they trying to bring Simon and I in too? If they thought we was gonna talk then they had another thing coming. We ain't no fucking snitches. I think they can see with how much fight we're putting up that they underestimated the fuck out of us. They thought Ace was the problem. They just don't know how hard we were coming behind him. 

"Stop fucking touching her!" I scream.

"You're not taking my children!" Mama yells.

"Get the fuck off me!" Simon manages to yell through one of the men's fingers. 

"Pearson! Behind you!" One of the officers yell. 

POW! 

POW! 

POW!

POW!

Silence. The entire living room stands on edge. The officers don't move. The Hispanic woman doesn't move. I don't move.

Because I know who it is that Pearson was shooting at without having to turn around. There were only five of us in the house tonight. I doubted Ace would have heard all that commotion and not have surrendered earlier. Honestly, anybody who could hear would have came out to see what the fuck was going on. Anybody who could hear...

"Noooooooo!" Mama cries out. 

Simon jerks his head in the direction towards Mama's room and his face says it all. 

Jonah. 

Mama falls to her knees. Simon's mouth his hanging open. I can see his chest rising and falling fast. He doesn't take his eyes away from Jonah. 

I can't take my eyes away from Mama. I watch her crawl across the living room. Each step she takes closer to Jonah, my eyes get blurrier. I can hardly see her when she finally reaches his small body. 

I close my eyes, trying to dream up a different scene behind my eyelids. I think back to breakfast a few days ago, when Caesar came to visit the first time. I imagine Simon signing to Jonah. Paryis talking to Mama. My false sense of hope doesn't last long though. Mama's cries force me back to reality.

"Nooooooooo! Look what you done! My baby. Not my baby!" Mama wails. 

I force myself to open my eyes. I blink the tears away as they fall down my cheeks. I can't see Jonah's face cause Mama has him pinned against her body as she rocks him back and forth. But I do see the blood escaping his shirt. When his tiny, lifeless arm falls out of her reach, I fall to the ground. The SWAT team doesn't try to stand me back up. Somewhere in my mind I hear the woman say to release us. Her words only register when the ziptie falls from my wrist. 

Simon crawls over to Jonah. He's no longer screaming. Instead, his face is marked in tears. He pulls Jonah from Mama's lap. My heart sails away from my body as I watch Simon raise Jonah's shirt. His hands scramble to cover the bullet holes in his body but there are too many. 

"No. No. No. No. No," Simon whispers, "Wake up, Jonah. C'mon lil man. Wake up for me."

"Simon," I choke out. 

By now the tears are flowing freely down my face. I have no control over my body. I don't even think before speaking. I'm just...here. It's like I'm watching my family fall apart from another body. 

Simon looks up at me. His face is full of panic. There are tears running down his face. This is one of the few times, I'm sure we look exactly like twins. 

"He's dead," I say. 

It's like he needed to hear it from me in order for it to be real. I turn away from him while he wails out a sound I've never heard before. Mama keeps crying. Paryis has made her way over to them as well. I can't make myself walk over there. 

This...this was my fault. If I had tried a little bit harder to make Ace listen to me that day at the Loft, there would be no dead Gecko. Without Gecko's body, there would be no reason for these motherfuckers to come into our home. Without them, there would be no Pearson. Without Pearson... there would still be Jonah. 

What have I done?