Do Badal Aapas Mein Mile The Phir

Aisi Barsaat Hui,

Jism Ne Jism Se Sargoshi Ki,

Rooh Ki Rooh Se Baat Hui....

Her eyes widened in shock seeing Tabassum Bashar standing in front of her with an evil smirk on her face. Of course, no one other than her couldn't stoop down to her level.

"So your fiance left you ? No wonder he took my advice and left your pathetic self."

She was taking Murat's name to hurt her without knowing he was the one who got them married but she didn't have to filled with those details instead she should be answered back in her own language and that's what Maria did, having enough of letting her walking over her again and again.

"But Bashar uncle didn't needed anyone's advice to divorce you. Intelligent man I must say...."

It was Maria's turn to smirk watching every colour drain from her face. Somewhere inside her soft heart she felt guilty for making fun of someone's ruined life, but then her eyes landed upon the evil women before her, extinguishing every single ounce of guilt she had within her.

Tabassum Bashar pounced ready to attack her when Maria took few steps back saving herself from the vile women who cursed her, fury brewing in her evil eyes not able to take the counterattack of the girl who never used to reply her, letting her rag her whenever she wanted to.

"He hasn't divorced me yet, but don't you worry little bitch, a day will come when your so called husband will divorce you. Afterall, you were thrown upon him and he doesn't see you more than a liability."

She took steps towards her, warning her of the future which Maria knew better. She was trying to manipulate her, hurt her, but she won't let her do that. Tabassum aunty was jealous from the fact Mustafa married her and that's what exactly she was going to use to anger her.

"He loves me and that's why he married me aunty."

Smiling, she answered waiting for Tabassum aunty to cower back and leave her, instead she saw her laughing loudly like a maniac, stopping Maria's heart with her words.

"That's where you are wrong. He only loved my Asmara with whom he had a child with. He never loved you, so don't consider pity for his love. He'll never love you. Are pyaar karna to door he'll not even touch you.... You are that hideous."

She was right. Wasn't she ? He always pitied her, he pitied her for being an orphan, supporting her only for his deceased uncle, only to leave her for the love of his life Asmara Ahmed. She was everything while Maria Ahwaan was just a plain girl he pitied.

And no matter how much she tried to hide her pained emotions she wasn't able to. Everything related to him made her vulnerable, transparent for the world to detect her emotions and that what Tabssum Bashar was taking advantage off. Smiling evilly she continued brainwashing her, damaging her as much as she could.

"So, I am right. He hasn't even touched you. What kind of husband does that untill he feels repelled of his own wife ? Or Maybe he does that if he is in love with someone...."

Her poor soul pierced with immense pain hearing that but she was quick to dodge her words remembering his confession of loving her, not Asmara. A ray of hope flickered inside her shattered heart, reminiscing the day when he kissed her punishing her for accusing him loving Asmara, not her.

"No!! He siad he loves me. He himself confessed it and...."

She confessed with her head held high in a proud manner but Tabssum had plans to ruin her, determined to break the bubble of happiness in which she was living. Snatching her happiness would cool her burning heart and that's what she was planning to do.

"Naive or should I say you are too stupid to believe him ? If he loved you then he would have married you not my niece but since he loved her, he chose her over you. It was always her and will always be."

Word by word she saw herself breaking with her world crumbling down effortlessly. Truth was what Tabssum aunty was speaking. Yes, it was bitter but it was truth which she couldn't deny even if she wanted to. Afterall, He chose few days of love over years of friendship. Her beautiful life got ruined in return of his peaceful life with Asmara Mustafa Ahwaan. His wife.

At last he chose his Asmara, over his little birdie and just like that she lost her most prized possession, getting a shattered broken heart as a punishment for loving him.

It was the first time her heart felt heavy after so many years. It was like she was again living the nightmare she used to run away from. Her heart hammered inside her chest feeling pain with those words but she chose to contain them and answer the vile women bravely ignoring the urge to cry at her unlucky fate.

"Say whatever you want to... But he is my husband now."

"Rahogi to tum dusri aurat hi. You are nothing but a rebound, Asmara's rebound...."

(You'll always be the second women.)

Placing the last nail in the coffin she left grinning without waiting for her reaction or say she left her too speechless to speak anything.

Feeling her legs give up she was about to fall down when her eyes landed upon Sadia dadi who was walking towards her with a worried look on her face, making her take deep breaths to contain her emotions not wanting to break down in front of dadi, having enough of everyone's sympathy.

"What are you doing here all alone ?"

Caressing her cheeks dadi asked detecting something wrong with her, watching her face which was pale as snow.

"I-i w-was......"

She didn't knew how she managed to speak and at the same time contain herself from crying. All she wanted was to wrap herself in the cocoon of her blanket and cry till she won't be able to cry anymore.

Being called Asmara's rebound shook her, broke her more, even if that was possible. She wanted him to deny it, assure her she wasn't but didn't had the guts to ask him.

What if she really was her rebound for him ?

"It's okay.... Let's go inside. Mustafa is asking for you."

Dadi gasped feeling her shiver badly when she held her hand which was cold as ice. Her heart wasn't alone, her body too was feeling pain which was getting unbearable for her with passing seconds.

"I a-am not fe-feeling well dadi jaan. C-can I go ba-back ? Please."

Her voice came out as a mere whisper tensing dadi ammi who wasn't able to dicipher anything.

"Are you fine Maria ? You know you can share anything with me."

Rubbing her cold hands, she caressed her cheeks looking at her eyes which were void of everything. For a second she saw pain in her eyes but it was gone as soon as she saw it.

"It's n-nothing dadi ammi. I j-just w-want to rest.... P-please.."

"Jaiye... Apna khayal rakhiyega beta."

(Go.... Take care of yourself.)

Her old eyes could sense something very wrong with her which got confirmed when she saw her running back inside the villa stumbling on the way which didn't seem to lessen her speed, not even fearing to fall down.

•

It didn't took time for Sadia dadi to inform Mustafa about his wife's condition, scaring him to the core. Running, he left for the villa to look for his wife, dread filling his heart not able to find her in their room.

So, he ran towards her old room bolting it's door in hurriedly, praying to find her when he heard her sobbing inside the bathroom.

"Open the door Maria..."

He knocked softly with his heart thumping wildly hearing her cry at the other end. Her sobs were piercing his soul, crushing him to no end.

"Open the gate jaani... Please. I need to see you."

His eyes got misty remembering the past when he used to hear her cry daily at nights, him crying silently with her alongside the barrier of her door. Her cries of present were similar to the cries of past making him feel weak in the knees able to feel the intensity of her pain.

"A-aap jaiye y-yaha se.... P-please."

(You go away from here...)

There he heard her muffled hoarse voice continued with loud sobs, shattering him hearing she wanted him gone, not wanting to share the reason of her misery with him.

"I am not....Open the door or I am going to break it."

Not having another option he threatened to break the door hearing her scream from the other end. She wanted him gone, not having the guts to confront him right now, the fear of her being a rebound taking a toll on her poorly.

"That's it. I am breaking the door."

His heart palpitated with fear of losing her when her cries stopped, engulfing the room with silence and that was when he kicked the door breaking it off it's hinges, thinking of her harming herself in order to get rid of him.

"Ye kya haal bana rakha hai apna ? Get up and change your clothes otherwise you'll get sick."

( What have you done to yourself ?)

He found sitting under the cold shower holding herself, shivering uncontrollably with her head placed on her knees, eyes shut tightly. Her sari was sticking to her like a second skin, bun undone, making her hair fall over her shoulders.

A sigh of relief left his lips finding her concious. He was glad to find her alive and breathing.

Ya Allah tera lakh lakh shukar.

"Sunayi nahi diya biwi ? Stand up and change your clothes."

(Didn't you hear me ?)

Turning off the shower he hovered above her sitting form and held her arms making her stand, when she looked meeting his eyes, freezing him on the spot.

"WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE ?"

She screamed making him flinch back in fear but it wasn't her volume which scared him, it was her eyes which scared him to the core. They were bloodshot red, holding immense pain that he feel like dying.

She was in pain, the reason unknown to him, but he felt responsible for it. He wasn't able to keep the promise he made to his heart. He failed to keep her happy. She cried and he wasn't there to wipe her tears.

He failed her.

Again.

"What happened ? Did someone hurt you ? Tell me and I'll...."

Wiping droplets off her face he cupped her cheeks gently with warm hands, trying to find answers in her beautiful broken orbs which were screaming years of torment in them.

"Why ? It's not like you care."

In the process of blinking, tears rolled down her eyes which he wiped off quickly hearing her murmer softly. Her voice was cold, holding complaints of her shattered heart.

"Look into my eyes and tell me, do you really think I don't care about you ?"

Did she really thought he didn't cared about her ? Did she really thought he didn't had any ounce of affection towards her ? Were these seven months weren't enough for her to know that she was important for him more than himself ?

Holding her chin, he made her look at him which she did, finding love in them, his soft eyes holding affection and care for her, but she didn't knew what to feel anymore. He used to hold the same affection for her in the past but that didn't stopped him from pushing her away. His eyes held the same care for her but that didn't stopped him from breaking her, punishing her for loving him.

"I.....don't know."

She whispered looking down unable to answer his question. His eyes always held warmth for her but she didn't had the heart to answer him, fearing heartbreak. She had build walls around her herself to protect herself around him. Afterall who else better than ourselves could save us from getting hurt ? People only pretend to care only to put salt on the wounds, leaving you alone in the end.

"You know that I do, but you don't have the guts to say that."

He screamed, crying in frustration. She knew that he did, but something was stopping her from saying it which was turning him insane, having enough of her feeling oblivious of everything.

"And you love her but don't have guts to say that...."

Pushing him away she slid down over the floor again, reminiscing the day of her confession when he screamed at her for destroying everything they had, for taking away his best friend. His frustrated scream was same when he scolded her for loving him. Yes, he cared for her but didn't cared enough to chose her over Asmara.

And why would he chose her when he was getting the love of his life ?

"Why the hell are you bringing her between us ?"

More tears rolled out of her cheeks hearing him. A throaty laugh escape her lips looking at his face which was full of rage. So, he didn't liked the way she took his beloved's name from her mouth. Seems like Tabssum aunty was correct. He really did loved her niece to the extent that the girl standing infront of him was forced to hold grudges against a dead person.

"Ohh....I am so sorry. Maine apni na pak zubaan se aapki pakiza mohabaat ki tauheen ki. I am sorry, I really am. I won't do that again. I promise.."

(I insulted her by taking her name from my dirty mouth.)

Holding her ears she apologized, making him look down in shame. It was all his fault. He was responsible for breaking the innocent girl in front of him. She was broken to the extent that she wasn't able to see his love.

That time he felt his heart breaking with her. It was his fault that he saved others letting her drown. It was his fault that he broke the only girl he ever loved.

"Why are you behaving like this jaani ? What wrong did I do ? Tell me, I'll fix it.... I'll do anything for you."

Holding her hand he pleaded, guilt visible in his eyes. He was ready to do anything for her, anything to calm her, anything to bring back her old self. His heart was ready to trade anything in return for the peace of her heart.

"Can you undo the past and marry me first ?"

Her eyes brightened up when he uttered those words. It was like she was close to win some lottery. Holding his collar she brought him closer towards herself waiting for his answer, expecting him to choose her this time.

"What are you...."

He was taken a back with her question finding himself speechless in front of her. Now, he was more desperate to know what happened with her at the party which caused her to act her like that.

"No, tell me if you get a chance to go in the past and choose to marry between her and me, who will you choose ?"

She again questioned with her hand finding its way to his stubbled cheek, caressing it softly in the anticipation to get her answer.

"Why are you asking this jaani ?"

He on the other hand took her in his arms, tired of seeing her so vulnerable. She wasn't this vulnerable when he rejected her. She wasn't this vulnerable when he called her a nightmare. Heck, she she wasn't this broken when he got married. No matter how painful it was for her, he never saw her broken to this extent.

He wanted to kill the person who dared to hurt her in his absence, when he heard her again and this time her voice was low, full of sorrow adorned with a sad smile on her face.

"You won't choose me right ? I knew it. I know you won't....I know, no one would choose me. She is right I am just Asmara's rebound for you, nothing else. I am the second women who came.... I..."

"SHUT UP!! JUST SHUT UP DAMMIT!!!"

He screamed, banging the wall behind her, having enough of her insulting her own self. He wanted her to fight with him, to complain to him but here she was putting everything on herself to the extent of calling herself a rebound. She was too precious for him to be a rebound of someone else.

Watching her flinch due to his actions, his voice softened as he kissed her forehead as an apology for scaring her and held her hand drawing circles over it, confessing she wasn't Asmara's rebound.

"You are not her rebound, you got it ? You are not..."

She on the other hand was too hurt by Tabassum Bashar's words to understand him. Her words penetrated deep into her soul which was clawing her insides, time and again mocking her mercilessly. The vile women smartly used the wounds of her past to hurt her, making her believe in the web of lies she created.

"I am....You still love her and that's why you don't come near me. You find me hideous and...."

Stopping him she cried complaining about him to himself, leaving him no option other than kissing her to shut her up. His kiss was fierce like fire, but soft enough to make her moan in response. He held her close feeling her respond to his kiss feeling himself melt with the warmth of it, losing himself within her.

Seconds later he pulled apart feeling the need to breathe, joining their foreheads, while his hands again traced small circles over her cold ones in a comforting manner.

"I don't find you hideous or anything. It's just that I don't want to force anything upon you. I love you too much to never hurt you again. You are too precious for me.....And now when I have cleared everything to you, I don't want you to speaking rubbish about yourself. I won't allow it."

Leaning more towards her, he watched her nod, lost in him as he whispered inside her ear, confessing his love and pleading her not to think bad about herself, making her shudder with the intensity of his dark orbs.

He was relieved seeing her complying to his instructions waiting for her to get up and change her clothes when she shocked him pulling him towards her, asking him for more of his kiss and even more of himself.

"I want more...."

His kiss made her forget about everything. Forget about the reason she was crying in the first place. His kiss made her feel loved, the feeling her heart was devoid for years. His kiss was addicting, leaving her yearning more of them, more of him.

His heart skipped a beat when he found her scooting closer to hold his nape, her nose finding it's way towards his neck, taking a whiff of his manly scent before kissing him there.

"You are not in your senses jaani."

Getting a hold of her shoulders he pushed her back gently, not wanting things to escalate further.

"I am not."

She giggled, nodding her head agreeing with him, not caring about anything, wanting nothing but to feel him closer to herself, desperately trying to forget everything as she held his hands resting over her shoulders propping them towards her bare waist, while she guided her hands towards his neck pulling him closer for another kiss which he stopped before it could happen.

"Stop... You don't know what are you doing and I don't want to force you...."

Only he knew how difficult was it for him to stop himself from taking her, but it had to be done.

"You don't want me. I get it.... I am sorry. I won't bother you again with myself."

Her voice came out low full of sorrow. She felt rejected and he was clearly able to read her but he wanted to love her when everything was right between them, when she would accept him and forgive him. Making love was sacred for him and he didn't wanted their first time when she was emotionally vulnerable, but the look on her face was making him feel weak and helpless.

And then he watched her wiping away her tears getting up, feeling heartbroken of his rejection making him hold her hand in a tight grasp, stopping her from going further and that was when she heard his gentle voice.

"Think again. There won't be going back."