Matlabi Banda Hoon,

Sajda Karta Hoon To Wo Bhi Apne Sakoon Ki Khatir....

A week passed and as presumed Mustafa started ignoring her again. She was hurt but she expected it. She expected him to punish her for loving him and he was doing it not knowing how much she missed him. How much she missed teasing him, being with him.

He didn't knew the tears she cried reminiscing their old days, remembering their bond, his care, his support, his old self.

A tear leaked out of her eye again which she quickly wiped not wanting anyone to see her vulnerable side, especially him, but he saw it. He saw her zoning out while eating breakfast, he saw her not touching her favourite pancakes rather eating bread jam which was kept near her. He saw everything.

"I want to marry."

He declared, blasting the news on his family.

"What!!!"

Aaqib Ahwaan was gobsmacked with his son's sudden wish.

"I said I want to marry."

Aaqib Ahwaan was mad, infact he was furious at his eldest son. He didn't expected him to behave so irrationality.

"Are you out of your mind Mustafa. Your brother just died and you want to marry."

He didn't wanted to listen to anything or anyone. He just wanted to marry that's it.

"You always wanted me to marry dad and now when I am ready, you are saying no. I don't understand it."

His father glared at him answering him back.

"It's you who is not understanding anything."

"I just want to do simple nikaah that's it. Nothing lavish."

His mother too was sad hearing him and left with tears in her eyes, followed by Aamina who too was upset.

"Who is the girl ?"

"Asmara Ahmed, Bashar uncle's neice."

He answered looking confidently in his father's eyes, ignoring a heartbroken Maria who was sitting beside him, silently hearing everything, her heart breaking with his each word.

"How come you want to marry her when you two don't even know each other ?"

"Because I like her. The day I saw her in the party and got an instant feeling towards her."

His answer was the last straw of pain she could take. Abruptly standing up, she lost her balance and was about to fall when he tried holding her hand to save her from falling but before he could help her she steadied herself, running away not able to hold her emotions anymore.

His gaze followed her to the stairs where she disappeared after few seconds and his trance was broken when his father answered him calmly.

"Sorry son but you can't get married now. Maybe after six months but not now."

"But..."

His father got up helping his mother to stand and left with her, leaving him all alone.

"No means no. The discussion is over."

•

Knocking the door of her room twice he entered her abode, his eyes searched for her who was sitting near the window dressed in a white dress, her hair loose, flowing with the wild wind. She was lost in her own thoughts least bothered about the cold weather which could affect her health.

"I want a favour from you."

He asked but she was silent, watching the lonely moon surrounded by millions of stars who were it's admirers but all she wanted was sun who was never her's for it was companion of the day as she was of night.

Truth isn't it ? Heart always yearns for the one who could never be yours. You could see them, admire them from afar but can never have them for everything wished can't be fulfilled.

He knew she was listening as he could see her holding her hands in a tight grip as if trying to hold herself together.

"I want you to convince dad for mine and Asmara's marriage."

He knew only she was the only one who could convince Aaqib Ahwaan for his marriage.

Few minutes passed in silence. He was looking at her, trying to analyze her, when he saw her taking a deep breath and then she turned towards him. Her face was blank, eyes empty of any emotion.

"Why me ? Kya aap mujhe mohabbat karne ki saza suna rahe hai ?"

And then she smiled, a blank smile which pierced his heart but he kept quiet, focusing on the work he came for.

"I told you to stop loving me ? Didn't I ?"

I wish. I wish, it was easy to undo love. Kyuki mohabbat sirf shuru hoti hai khatam nahi.

"You can go from here cause I can't convince Taya Abba for anything."

Giving him her answer she turned towards the moon, placing her head on the window, inhaling the chilling air.

Holding her arm tightly he jerked her towards himself, looking at her with red eyes. His tone was loud making her flinch and cower back in fear.

"You have to. You have to because I did so many things for you and now it's time to repay for everything."

"So it's all about favours you did for me. How wrong I was ? I thought you genuinely cared for me but it was all hoax, nothing else. Don't worry I'll return all your favours one by one."

She was hurt. Hurt to the extent that she wanted to cry on her fate for falling in love with a man who never cared for her. She wanted to complain to Allah for taking her parents for if they would have been alive she would never have met him. She would have been happy with them, with her small family.

Maybe just like him everyone was using her so that when time comes they too will ask her to repay. They will ask her to repay for taking care of her after her parents. For providing her with a family. For fulfilling her every necessity.

Yes, everything was a hoax. Everyone was playing with her emotions to tear her apart when their motive will be fulfilled. She won't be left with anything. She didn't had anything in the first place. Her most price possession, her parents were not with her. She was alone, without any family.

"I don't want many favours, just this one and you'll be free of everything."

Free of everything ? Can you undo everything you did, so that it would be easy for me to hate you. Can you give me my heart back who is stubbornly beating inside my chest for you. Can you ?

"I will, so that I'll be free of everything."

Jerking her arm from his hold, she stepped back gesturing him to leave not able to see his presence inside her room anymore. His presence was now suffocating her, paining her to the extent that she wasn't able to breathe.

She wanted someone to hug her, to held her, telling everything was a bad dream nothing else. That someone was with her and she wasn't alone. Maybe it's time to walk alone. Maybe Allah was strengthening her not to depend on anyone else but him. Not to trust anyone but him. Not to ask anything from anyone but him. Maybe it was for her own good.

He left giving her one last look, making her collapse on the cold floor immediately, her painful sobs echoing inside the room.

Ya Allah,

Its too painful. I don't know if I can handle it but I know it's your plan and you won't burden me with what I cannot handle. I know you are with me, within me and you won't let me fall. Give me strength to go on and be the tough girl my parents raised me to be. Give me strength to rise like a phoenix from my own ashes.

Aameen.

•

"Taya Abba..."

Taking a deep breath she entered the study room, finding her uncle busy reading some files.

"Why are you standing at the door princess, come in."

He smiled gesturing her to sit beside him. He was proud of her. After Hassan, she had became the constant support of his family. She was not his brother's daughter but his own. He was lucky to have her as his daughter.

"Boliye aapko kya chahiye ?"

He asked, shocking her which made her speechless for few moments.

"How do you know that I want something from you ?"

She asked her eyebrows raising up in confusion as to how did he knew she wanted something from him.

"Because I am your Taya Abba."

He again smiled, patting her head. The nervous look she had while entering and the way she fidgeted with her slender fingers sitting beside him, made him sure that she definitely wanted something.

"Woh... Taya Abba... I want you to say y-yes to his marriage, please."

Only she knew how much effort it took to utter those words. The pain she felt at that time was unimaginable and unbearable. But she didn't had any option. He didn't gave her any. It was his wish and she was compelled to fulfill it.

"I am so sorry bacha but I can't because he is being too insensitive. His brother just died and he wants to get married. Which kind of brother does that ? He is being too selfish."

"I know. I know it's difficult for you but Hassan is gone and we can't do anything about it. And he would never want to be the reason of brother is denied of his happiness."

Holding his hand she pleaded him to listen to her. She was being selfish using Hassan's name to get what she wanted. She was being selfish so that the burden she was carrying on her heart would be lessened. The burden of Mustafa's favours in her life. The burden she carried since she started loving him.

"People will talk behind our back if I agree."

Aaqib Ahwaan was tensed, very tensed. He remembered when his younger brother married with his own choice and their father disowned him. What a chaos it was. Everyone questioned them and they were the talk of the town for many months.

"But that's what do, don't they ? Society shouldn't matter when it comes to family and I know everything will be fine after sometime Taya Abba. Please agree. Please."

She wasn't able to speak more. She just wanted him to agree so that she could go inside her room and cry till her heart is content. Till she feels numb to feel any emotion. Till she could gather herself up to get up and fight another painful day.

"Okay. We'll go to their home tommorow to ask Asmara's hand for Mustafa."

His words broke her but she collected all her emotions, managing herself to give him a smile. The most painful thing in this world is to smile, when you feel your whole body trembling with pain, with agony.

"Thank you Taya Abba."

Getting up she exited the room and leaned towards the wall feeling legs getting wobbly with the flowing pain inside her whole body and kept hand on her mouth to control her sobs but wasn't able to control them as a tear rolled out of her eye effortlessly.

"Maria...."

Feeling his tight hold on her shoulder she turned, trying to hold her tears which were flowing continuously.

"It's done."

Seeing her legs wobble he tried holding her when she jerked herself out of his hold taking few steps back all the while looking in his eyes.

"You won."

And yet you lost the person who loved you the most.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Salam,

And sorry for the late update as I am busy with my cousin sister's marriage.

Till next time

Allah Hafiz ❤️