《Agent 13 (Book 1)》28. But don't push your luck

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"It's not funny Devin, we need to find them." I hear Chase growl out as I step into the house. Judging by the sounds of their voices they're in the kitchen.

"They're dead," Devin replies sarcastically.

"And what if they really are?"

"Then there's more room at the beach."

I turn the corner and Devin's back is to me as he shrugs as if his explanation is the most logical in the world. I swat him in the back of his head, right as Jason and Chase notice me.

"There will be more room at the beach in a few minutes." Devin jumps away from me dramatically, acting as if I'm a damn ghost.

"Threats! Threats! I feel threatened!" He shouts as he points an accusing finger at me. I glare at him, and he laughs nervously.

"You know I was just joking right? I mean I'd never ever ever ever ever ever ever-"

"Get to the point." I cut him off.

"You look like shit."

"I can make you look the same if you like." I offer innocently.

"More threats! More threats! I'm feeling very threatened!"

"Sleep with one eye open tonight." I retort.

"Since you moved in I always have." I take a swing at him and he dodges it, throwing his hands up in the air in victory.

"Yes! Did you see that?! I dodged her swing, I dodged-" He's cut off as he backs into the leg of a chair and goes tumbling to the ground. I roll my eyes.

"What happened to you guys? Where's Cody and Hayden?" Jason asks.

"The hospital." I shrug.

"Why?"

"Because they need a doctor."

"You know what I mean," Jason growls, getting fed up with me.

"Cody took Hayden to the hospital to get his injuries checked over," I reply back. "Cody's fine though, so he'll likely be back within the next few hours. Then again he'll probably stay with Hayden."

"What about you?" Chase questions.

"I'm fine," I answer.

"Yeah cause everyone who looks like shit is fine." Devin pipes up sarcastically. I glare daggers into the side of his head.

"What happened to you guys?" Jason repeats.

"Got ambushed, kidnapped, and tortured. You know the usual." I shrug slightly as I grab a water bottle from the fridge.

"I'm thinking Garrett was monitoring us the entire time," I add as I remove the cap to the water.

"Garrett?"

"Zack's younger brother," I answer as I take a gulp from my water bottle. "Though it could've just as easily been Zack. I won't know if my cover's blown till I meet up with him again so, we'll see."

"You have a death wish." Devin states.

"I thought we already established that." Chase retorts.

"Great." I pipe in sarcastically. "I'm sure Cody will want some company so why don't you people go and visit him. I'm going to shower."

I don't wait for their answer as I turn and head up the stairs and straight into Cody's room. I grab a change of clothes from my backpack and head into the bathroom and close the door.

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I stare at myself in the mirror. I sigh as I look at my reflection, well Devin wasn't wrong. I double check the door, to make sure it's locked and closed, so I know no one's going to barge in uninvited. I gently move my hair that's been keeping the side of my face and head concealed. I cringe slightly at the sight.

Besides the massive gash towards the top of my forehead from the gun Garrett brought down on my head, there's also the blood that's caked into my hair and on my face. Thank goodness no one else saw that.

I grab a small hand towel and soak it in water, trying my best to clean the wound and remove the blood from my face. After I finish I remove my clothes and get in the shower, letting the warm water run over my sore body.

***

I sit out on the low porch wall in the backyard, unable to sleep. I flip my dagger over and over and over in my hands, trying desperately to stop myself from thinking of the events from earlier. I glance at my watch to check the time, it's a little past one in the morning. Everyone has been asleep for a while now, well everyone except me. I continue to flip my dagger, though my mind keeps wandering, mostly to Cody.

Why didn't I just knock him out? Why did I have to make this more complicated?

A part of me says it's because I care, and then another part of me says I shouldn't, that I can't care. I just have to keep reminding myself why I can't care, what he promised to me. And like me, he keeps his promises.

Flashback

"You know what I'll make you a deal." He says as he smiles sadistically back at me. I glare at him. He leans down to my level. "You tell me what I want to know, and I won't kill anyone you care about."

He holds his hand out, as if expecting me to shake it, I hesitate for a second before grabbing hold of his hand and pulling him towards me, banging my head into his as soon as he's close enough. He curses as he holds his forehead, glaring at me, while I say nothing back.

"You'll regret that." He hisses menacingly. "I swear," he starts, then pauses, an evil glint entering his eyes. "I promise you, that I'll destroy you, I'll kill anyone and everyone you care about now and in the future, for as long as I live."

End of Flashback

The back sliding door opening as someone steps out into the backyard behind me jolts me back to the present. I glance over my shoulder to see Cody making his way towards me.

"Hayden ok?" I question softly, my eyes not meeting his as I turn back and continue to flip my dagger.

"Yeah I just drove him back, he went straight upstairs and crashed." He replies lightly. I nod slightly. "You ok?" He asks. "You took quite a beating."

"I'm fine," I reply shortly.

"Then why are you out here?"

"Can't sleep." He comes and takes a seat next to me.

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"Neither can I." He says. It's silent for a while as he just sits and watches me flip the dagger. "Can I ask you something?"

"You're going to anyway, so shoot," I answer.

"When we were on our way out, you looked at that Seventy-seven guy and," He pauses as he searches my face. "You were scared." He finishes.

"No, I wasn't."

"So what, I just imagined-"

"I was terrified." I finish, cutting him off. I stare at my dagger in my hands, as he stares at me.

"Why?" He presses softly.

"Like I've said before. I only ever had one fear, and when my team died, I so did my fear." I stare at my reflection in the blade of the dagger. "I was never scared of heights, fires, earthquakes, snakes...I wasn't scared of pain...or death." I don't look to see his reaction, cause I'm pretty sure I already know what it is.

"The only thing in the world I was ever scared-terrified of, was losing the people I cared about, and one day there was just no left that I cared for. I forgot what it was like to be scared." I stare at the floor in front of me.

"And then, when we were there, with Seventy-seven or Garrett, whatever the hell you want to call him...I was reminded what it was like to be scared, only I was terrified. Terrified I was going to have to watch some else I cared about die."

I run a shaky hand through my hair. It's silent for a while before I speak again.

"I hate you, all of you...for making me care." I finish. He says nothing and just continues to watch me.

"So you care about me." He states.

"Not in the way you want me to," I reply, though something inside of me says I'm lying to myself and him.

"Then answer me this. Why didn't you just knock me out, like you said you were going to?"

"Because I needed someone to help me get out of there, and you wouldn't be much help unconscious." I retort, but in all honesty, I have no idea.

He seems slightly angry, though I don't make a move to say anything else. The silence between us seems suffocating, as we sit side by side on the wall, neither one of us wanting to be the first to walk away.

I continue to flip my dagger, the blade reflecting light from in the house, my mind working in overtime, trying to think. It's a long while before he speaks up, breaking the silence.

"What is wrong with you?" he asks, as he throws his hands up in the air in exasperation.

I raise my eyebrows at him, making eye contact with him for the first time since we got out.

"Well that depends on who you ask." I retort. "If you ask me, then my reply is, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"You!" He practically shouts as he gets to his feet and begins pacing in front of me.

I throw my dagger into the grass in front of him and cross my arms over my chest.

"I don't see a problem."

"Of course you don't." He says as he runs his hand through his hair. "You think being heartless is ok!"

"I actually just admitted that I may kind of care...that's not heartless."

"Then what would you call it?"

"Cold-hearted." I shrug. "Now if you ever got the chance to meet my sister, she was the heartless one," I add in a little quieter, though he still hears me.

"Well cause cold-hearted's so much better."

"To some people it is. It means that I do in fact have a heart." I retort hotly.

He groans before sitting back down next to me and burying his face in his hands. He stays like that for a while and get to my feet and pull my dagger from the ground.

"Why couldn't you sleep?" He finally asks, clearly trying to get on a different topic.

I shrug slightly. "Mostly been thinking about everything that's been going on," I reply, not a complete lie, though definitely not the truth either.

"You get nightmares." He says. It's not a question. It's a statement.

"More like night terrors, but yeah."

"What's the difference?"

"Night terrors are worse...they feel real," I answer. "Why are you up?" I question, changing the subject.

"Just brought Hayden back."

"Bullshit." I retort. "The front door opened three hours ago, you've been back." He shrugs.

"Couldn't sleep, been thinking." He replies, giving me the same vague answer that I gave him. "Though I've mostly been debating something."

"Debating what?" I question curiously.

"Whether or not you'd get mad at me."

"For what?"

"For this."

I don't even have a chance to react before he leans his head down and places his lips against mine.

I freeze up in shock, unmoving. My mind yelling at me to pull away, that this will only end badly, but at the same time, I don't want to pull away. Instead, I surprise myself as I begin to move my lips in sync with his.

He pulls away first and looks at me, a strange look in his eyes. "So what do you say? You mad?"

"No," I answer back honestly. "But don't push your luck." He laughs lightly, and my eyes spot something behind him, it takes me a minute to identify what it is, but when I do, I jump away from Cody as if he has the plague.

I see him look at me in questioning, he opens his mouth to ask me why, but he doesn't get the chance as a bucket full of water and ice is poured over his head.

"I figured you needed a cold shower, so I brought it to you." Devin chirps as Cody gets to his feet and glares menacingly back at Devin as he tries and fails to smother his laughter.

"Run," Cody says before charging at Devin, who nearly trips over his own feet laughing so hard.

Well, one thing's for sure...there's no way I'm getting to sleep now.

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