Flopping down into my comfortable bed I struggle to stay awake the blankets trying to pull me under like a monster from the ocean floor. My eyes flutter so slightly as I consider my options.

1. Fall asleep

2. Stay awake

Well that critical thinking didn't help - sighing I try to list anything that needs to be urgently done. Nothing falls to my mind as I try to embrace sweet dream land wrapping around my feather pillow - nothing. Being able to fall asleep quickly was a special strong suit of mine, so why did I struggle. Laying awake for 3 hours, exhaustion finally over came my restless mind.

I fall to the ground my knuckles bloody and bruised my body aching and sore. I wobble as I try to push myself up but meet the hard surface not ten seconds later, a soft wind stinging my open wounds from the relentless training my uncle had put me through.

Why was I remembering this now - I should of known that my peace of mind would never last so long. I had been so focused on Bangtan's issues I had put my own off to the side as if suddenly they never existed. In a way I relaxed and now I'm reminded of this moment. My catalyst.

'Uncle I can't!' I cry out trying to get up, a hard crack comes down onto my back forcing me back into the ground. I scream out in pain knowing I was at my breaking point, 'p-please' I cough the blood splatter painting the dead grey concrete with red, like a modern art piece.

'And what if it wasn't me,' He said coldly circling my struggling body as he brings down the wooden bat on his hand, 'What if it wasn't me!'

'I'D BE DEAD YEARS AGO!' I scream, out tired of hearing this every day as he ruthlessly trains me, the beatings, the blood, the crying. 'I can't do this anymore' I whisper out - a gasp following as I couldn't believe what had come out of my mouth. And no sooner had those words left my mouth my Uncle had me by my hair and his pistol under my chin.

My tears ran quickly dry as he looked me dead in the eyes, 'In all the time I had trained you and you repay your parents with this nonsense,' He says coldly a cold flame covering his soul.

'I didn't ask for this!' I mutter out, I was at my lowest and I didn't know if I could continue.

'Say hello to your parents for me,' Before I can ask I hear the safety click and the trigger. I await my fate but instead are greeted again by concrete. I shake eyes wide as I try to comprehend that I am still alive. I magically push myself off the ground a new rush of adrenaline in my body at the thought of survival. 'See you could do it' My uncle walks out of the makeshift warehouse leaving me to my own thoughts.

And all I remember is screaming.

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'Cyrene!' A loud voice brings me out of my sleep and I see Jin on top of me hands on my shoulders, his eyebrows furrowed slightly his mouth agape trying to see if I was okay, 'Are you -'

I go into his arms and sob, I curl myself into him trying to bring myself back to the present, my whole body shook feeling grateful that I was alive. My memories haunted me and I hadn't had a nightmare in a long time - my desperation leading to unconsciousness must have brought on this memory - why did it have to be this one.

'Oppa please don't leave me alone tonight' I beg holding onto his body for dead life, he nods, getting off the bed he takes off his jeans and shirt leaving himself in only his boxers. I was vulnerable and going into an unknown state of dependency, I couldn't make out what was going through my mind, only that I needed Jin here with me. I whimpered slightly wanting him to curl his body around me I was shocked at my own actions as it my mind had gone into a child like state of dependency. Making grabby hands at him he comes down and lays into the pillows arms wide. I press my smaller body into his and he wraps his around mine. Becoming comfortable I wrap my arms around his torso and nuzzle my head into his chest, using his arm as my pillow. I quickly fall back asleep as an unfamiliar feeling of safety and comfort kept a fog of ignorance over my mind - as if my night-terror had never even happened.

She snuggled into my chest and instantly had fallen asleep, any other time I would find this quite intimate but I could see an almost switch her brain - she wasn't Cyrene anymore. Well she was still Cyrene but as if she had become her younger self, her eyes didn't hold any darkness when she called me back into bed, her eyes looked pure and innocent. As if her mental slate had been wiped clean.

While in my thoughts I hadn't even realised that she had tucked her legs in, she had made herself as small as possible and trusted me to protect her.

Bangtan had instantly put trust into her to be our extraordinary body-guard but had we ever stopped to think about if she trusted us. It was comforting to know she now trusted me and than she saw me as a protector but it also saddened me to know that she may not fully trust the other members. Maybe it was because I had happened to of heard her screams while walking back from a bathroom that she knew she could rely on me to come to her. My mind was mixed with questions and wavering certainty - what would you call this? She was like a child, even when she whimpered at me there was no maturity or thought to the action. Thinking hard I vaguely remember scrolling through the internet, an article interesting article on age regression. At the time I had no concept of what age regression was but I remember being fascinated at the thought of one being able to lose all responsibility. Agreeing with myself this would be the closest explanation to the situation. But what did the article say?

A mental state in which an individual regresses into a younger self to avoid trauma and stress of their current life. I remember the main points of the article.

1. Very emotional vulnerable

2. Complete change of some individuals personality

and last but most importantly

3. Sometimes a completely lack of any previous responsibility.

So you would be understanding my immediate distress when I woke up in the morning with my shirt missing and Cyrene's nightdress on the ground. Bolting out of the room I run to the kitchen/living room where everyone had sat. Jimin turned to me sensing my distress as I breathed heavy from my early morning sprint down the stairs from Cyrene's bedroom.

"Hyung are you okay?" He asks concern written on his face.

"More importantly," Yoongi snickers, "Why are you shirtless" Yoongi and Hoseok giggled to themselves and some of the maknaes began to giggle at my appearance too.

It quickly stopped though as I asked, "Have you seen Cyrene?" Instantly becoming straight faced. "Look something happened last night and we just need to find her, I comforted her last night after a night terror and now she's not in her bedroom." Without another word all members stood up and delegated themselves floors. Namjoon was headed for the roof and top floor with Hoseok. The maknaes all took the bottom floor two floors. Whilst me and Yoongi walked up stairs to the third floor.

Soon the house had been soft calls for Cyrene as we searched top to bottom for nearly 30 minutes. Although the house was big we were seven people looking for one person. Regathering in the lounge room every was breathing hard sweat coating their skin. "We searched everywhere you don't think she's left?" Jungkook asks.

"I checked her cell location it still says its here," Taehyung says holding up his phone.

"And you said she wasn't in bed when you woke up?" Namjoon asks head laid back on the couch.

"Yeah I just instantly rushed out here-" The members look at me once again as well all stand and walk towards her bedroom. Grumbles and mumbles about if she was showering and how I was dead meat if I had led the members on a wild goose chase. Opening the door, I hear a higher pitched voice behind the walk-in-closest door, Jungkook grabs the door and opens it with frustration, causing an unknown scream to echo in the room.

Sitting in the back corner with - plushies? sat Cyrene in nothing but my shirt, her eyes were glossed over from the loud slam of the sliding door and her bottom lip quivered. All frustrated members soon became curious from the person in front of them. It was Cyrene but at the same time, it wasn't, she had pushed herself against the furthest wall and hug her knees to her chest as we had taken one step into the room - all members confused at her completely opposite behaviour. Putting his hands up in front of us Taehyung gets down onto his knees and gestures for us to stay where we are.

"Hello baby, are you okay?" He asks in a calm soothing voice. I could see the other members confused as they had only heard this voice when he was talking to children. She shook her head quickly nibbling on her lower lip clutching a rabbit plushie to her chest. "Do you know who I am?" Taehyung asks again approaching slower. Cyrene became more relaxed as she leant forward on her knees as well, mimicking Taehyung.

"You're Taehyungie oppa," her voice coming out as an almost aegyo but it seemed so natural. "Did you come to play with my toys," she says sitting onto her knees picking up a bright pink unicorn and with both arms holding it out to Taehyung. The members curious nevertheless still waited on Taehyungs instructions to stay back.

"Thank you baby" He says kissing the top of her head, as he finally came within arms lengths of her. She let out a cute giggle as she began rambling about the toys and their names and whos her favourite but she ended up naming at least half of them. "Jagiya I know you're having fun but your oppas are worried about you" he says petting her head. It was quite strange to see a grown woman treated like a child. She tilts her head to the side, "We couldn't find you even after we called out your name, "She nods, "We were worried."

"Sowwy oppa, I was having a fun in here," She looks to him with big eyes, "Pwease don't be mad at me," Her eyes began to gloss but Taehyung instantly pulls her into his lap.

"Nope I am happy you are safe," He says again rubbing her back which causes her feet to almost kick indicating she was happy. "Are you wearing any pants baby?" He asks. Luckily Taehyung had his back to us as she lifted her shirt up happily as if she had 0 care in the world.

"No pants for me" She squeals delightfully. Looking quickly away our mouths had dropped.

"But what if you get a cold bum?" Taehyung asks with a slight pout. She thinks for a second, "You don't want a cold bum do you?" rubbing her back to answer. She shakes her head again. "If you put some pants on you and oppa can go get some milk, would you like that," She nods quickly standing and skipping over to the other corner which us members couldn't see. Coming back out she is holding some pink tracksuit pants she runs over to Taehyung giving them to him.

Standing with one leg raised she looks at him expectantly, signing for us other members to turn around. We hear Taehyung praise her as she puts on the pants. "Okay guys you can look," Taehyung says. It was an even peculiar site to see Cyrene now sitting on Taehyungs hip resting her head on his shoulder. Although she was smaller she was still a fully grown adult.

Walking towards us Cyrene looked scared until she saw my face, "Oppa!"she squealed, making grabby hands at me, looking at Taehyung he lets her down and she run and jumps into me. Jungkook helps steady myself as I readjust her, legs wrapped around my waist and head on my shoulder. Hugging me she sees all the other members but essentially snuggles closer into me. Looking to the members as they move around to almost stare at this unknown person Taehyung covers his giggle to look at me.

"She's fallen asleep hyung," I check to my side and see her fast asleep in my arms. "Let's move her into the lounge room"

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Oh wow it's nearly been 3 months since I've updated and I don't want to say 'It's gonna become more frequent' when it's most likely not. I hope you all understand and personally want to thank you all for the 100K! reads.

My life has been hectic right now and I'm trying to move forward in life.

Thank you again

-Biv